Embossed by the wolf
by kuramacherry
Summary: Jacob imprints on Bella, and this leads to a twist in her fate. The predicaments which the future brings, makes things worse.Not to mention she has to deal with the imprinting.
1. Chapter 1

_Disclaimer: I do not own twilight. If I did, I would be SM, but I'm not. So here goes. Things you need to know before you read it._

_About 65% of the first chapter is from SM's new moon. I'm not making many changes there_

_From the second chapter onwards, there will be less of SM's lines and more of my work._

_The incidents and dialogues in this story are from my imagination and criticism is always welcome_

_I'm trying hard to keep Bella and the other characters to be exactly how SM's described them, and how they would react and what they would say in the situations they're in._

_I welcome any inputs and advise regarding the characters_

_I promise to update as often as I can_

_Please review after you read. I would very much appreciate it._

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><p><strong> Embossed by the wolf.<strong>

Chapter one - The meadow

I waited in fear as I watched Laurent approach me. Any moment now, I would die. I kept chanting Edward's name, like a mantra. _This was it. I was going to die._

_Edward. _I thought his name_. _This was the end. I was going to die now. I would never see him again. I loved Edward till my last breath, which I was sure I was taking right now. Just a few more minutes, and it would all be over. I only wished I could see him one last time before I died. It was my last wish to see him again, and I knew, it would never be fulfilled. I would depart this life, without seeing his beautiful face. It was the only regret I had. I tried to visualize his beautiful flawless face in my mind, his gorgeous topaz eyes, his crooked smile I loved so much, his smooth bronze hair, and his lovely musical voice.

"_I love you" I whispered. _Through my narrowed eyes, I watched as Laurent paused in the act of inhaling and whipped his head abruptly to the left. I was afraid to look away from him, to follow his glance, though he hardly needed a distraction or any other trick to overpower me. I was too amazed to feel relief when he started slowly backing away from me.

"I don't believe it," he said, his voice so low that I barely heard it.

Even though I was terrified, for a fraction of a second, I suddenly felt confused. I had to look then. My eyes scanned the meadow, searching for the interruption that had extended my life by a few seconds. At first, I saw nothing, and my gaze flickered back to Laurent. He was retreating more quickly now, his eyes boring into the forest. I felt relief wash over me, and a little hope too. My heart beat accelerated.

Then, I saw it; a huge black shape eased out of the trees, quiet as a shadow, and stalked deliberately toward the vampire. It was enormous—as tall as a horse, but thicker, much more muscular. The long muzzle grimaced, revealing a line of dagger-like incisors. A grisly snarl rolled out from between the teeth, rumbling across the clearing like a prolonged crack of thunder.

The bear. Only, it wasn't a bear at all. Still, this gigantic black monster had to be the creature causing all the alarm. From a distance, anyone would assume it was a bear. What else could be so vast, so powerfully built?

I wished I were lucky enough to see it from a distance. Instead, it padded silently through the grass a mere ten feet from where I stood. Now, I felt a new fear. A different fear. A fear much different from the one I felt from Laurent. My legs were rooted on the spot and I could feel my body tremble.

"Don't move an inch," Edward's voice whispered.

Even in that state of fear, I stared at the monstrous creature, my mind boggling as I tried to put a name to it. There was a distinctly canine cast to the shape of it, the way it moved. I could only think of one possibility, locked in horror as I was. Yet I'd never imagined that a wolf could get so big.

Another growl rumbled in its throat, and I shuddered away from the sound. My body shook more violently. My hands began to tremble, and I was sure my knees would give away anytime soon.

Laurent was backing toward the edge of the trees, and, under the freezing terror, confusion swept through me. Why was Laurent retreating? Granted, the wolf was monstrous in size, but it was just an animal. What reason would a vampire have for fearing an animal? And Laurent was afraid. His eyes were wide with horror, just like mine.

As if in answer to my question, suddenly the mammoth wolf was not alone. Flanking it on either side, another two gigantic beasts prowled silently into the meadow. One was a deep gray, the other brown, neither one quite as tall as the first. The gray wolf came through the trees only a few feet from me, its eyes locked on Laurent.

Before I could even react, two more wolves followed, lined up in a V, like geese flying south. Which meant that the rusty brown monster that shrugged through the brush last was close enough for me to touch?

I gave an involuntary gasp and jumped back—which was the most stupid thing I could have done right now. I froze again, waiting for the wolves to turn on me, the much weaker of the available prey. I wished briefly that Laurent would get on with it and crush the wolf pack—it should be so simple for him. I guessed that, between the two choices before me, being eaten by wolves was almost certainly the worse option. Earlier I was terrified, now, I was petrified. For the second time in my life, I was scared to death. I was scared for myself.

I stared at the wolves, unsure of what they would do. I caught the gaze of this particular russet wolf. The wolf's eyes were dark, nearly black. It gazed at me for a second, then, for some strange reason, turned its head around properly, and kept on staring. Those deep eyes seeming too intelligent for a wild animal. My gaze locked with its intent gaze. Suddenly, I felt a tremor rock through me and I had the urge to fall down, as though an earthquake was erupting underground. I almost felt dizzy for a second. I gazed into the eyes of the wolf unable to look away. There was a strange sensation all over my body. I forgot that a blood thirsty vampire was trying to drink my blood, and that a pack of wolves would have me for dinner, if they got to me first.

As it stared at me, I suddenly thought of Jacob—again, with gratitude. It was a brief moment of distraction for me. I felt relieved. At least I'd come here alone, to this fairytale meadow filled with dark monsters. At least Jacob wasn't going to die, too. At least I wouldn't have his death on my hands. I realized, the animal was still staring at me, with wonder and elation in its eyes, and strangely, I wanted to look into this russet wolf's eyes too, in the same way it was looking at me. I felt a strange connection towards this untamed beast.

Then, another low growl from the leader caused the russet wolf to whip his head around, back toward Laurent. This growl brought me back to reality. Laurent was staring at the pack of monster wolves with unconcealed shock and fear. The first I could understand. But I was stunned when, without warning, he spun and disappeared into the trees. He ran away. The wolves were after him in a second, sprinting across the open grass with a few powerful bounds, snarling and snapping so loudly that my hands flew up instinctively to cover my ears. The sound faded with surprising swiftness once they disappeared into the woods.

And then I was alone again.

My knees buckled under me, and I fell onto my hands, sobs building in my throat. I had the urge to throw up. I knew I needed to leave, and leave now. How long would the wolves chase Laurent before they doubled back for me? Or would Laurent turn on them? Would he be the one that came looking? I couldn't move at first, though; my arms and legs were still shaking, and I didn't know how to get back to my feet. My mind couldn't move past the fear, the horror or the confusion. I didn't understand what I'd just witnessed. My head began to ache, and I had odd sensations over my body.

A vampire should not have run from overgrown dogs like that. What good would their teeth be against his granite skin? It wouldn't have made a difference to him. Just a few swipes and they would good as fresh, raw meat to him. He would have fun killing them and playing with them, since they were so gigantic. I was sure it wouldn't take him more than ten minutes to finish them off and come for me. Then why did he back off and run away in fear? He was the world's strongest predator, what could be stronger than him? He had nothing to fear. Especially from a pack of wolves. What seemed so dreadful and scary about these wolves to an immortal being?

And the wolves should have given Laurent a wide berth. Even if their extraordinary size had taught them to fear nothing, it still made no sense that they would pursue him. I doubted his icy marble skin would smell anything like food. Why would they pass up something warm-blooded and weak like me to chase after Laurent? It didn't make any sense. Why did they want him?

I couldn't make it add up.

A cold breeze whipped through the meadow, swaying the grass like something was moving through it.

I scrambled to my feet, backing away even though the wind brushed harmlessly past me. Stumbling in panic, I turned and ran headlong into the trees. The next few hours were pure agony. Every time I thought of Laurent, I would start panicking, and run faster. It took me three times as long to escape the trees as it had to get to the meadow. At first I paid no attention to where I was headed, focused only on what I was running from the meadow, and far away as possible.

By the time I collected myself enough to remember the compass, I was deep in the unfamiliar and menacing forest. My hands were shaking so violently that I had to set the compass on the muddy ground to be able to read it.

Every few minutes I would stop to put the compass down and check that I was still heading northwest, hearing—when the sounds weren't hidden behind the frantic squelching of my footsteps—the quiet whisper of unseen things moving in the leaves.

The call of a jaybird made me leap back and fall into a thick stand of young spruce, scraping up my arms and tangling my hair with sap. The sudden rush of a squirrel up a hemlock made me scream so loud it hurt my own ears. I tumbled and fell down many times, hurting myself, but I didn't care. I wanted to go home.

At last there was a break in the trees ahead. I came out onto the empty road a mile or so south of where I'd left the truck. Exhausted as I was, I jogged up the lane until I found it. By the time I pulled myself into the cab, I was sobbing again. I fiercely shoved down both stiff locks before I dug my keys out of my pocket. My hands shook so violently that I couldn't put the key in the ignition, and I accidently dropped it. I scrambled down, grabbed the key, and after several attempts, finally started the truck. I was constantly whimpering and small screams escaped my lips. The roar of the engine was comforting and sane. It helped me control the tears as I sped as fast as my truck would allow toward the main highway.

I was calmer, but still a mess when I got home. Charlie's cruiser was in the driveway—I hadn't realized how late it was. The sky was already dusky.

"Bella?" Charlie asked when I slammed the front door behind me and hastily turned the locks.

I didn't reply at first. It took me sometime to calm myself and swallow the lump in my throat."Yeah, it's me." My voice was shaky and small.

"Where have you been?" he thundered, appearing through the kitchen doorway with an ominous expression. I jumped out of my skin, hearing his tone. I quickly calmed down.

I hesitated. But I was too terrified to think of an excuse. My mind had stopped working. I'd better stick to the truth.

"I was hiking," I admitted, in a small voice.

His eyes were tight. "What happened to going to Jessica's?"

"I didn't feel like Calculus today."

Charlie folded his arms across his chest. "I thought I asked you to stay out of the forest."

"Yeah, I know. Don't worry, I won't do it again." I shuddered and my knees began shaking uncontrollably again, as the memories of the encounter replayed itself in my mind.

Charlie seemed to really look at me for the first time. I remembered that I had spent some time on the forest floor today; I must be a mess.

"What happened?" Charlie demanded.

Again, I decided that the truth, or part of it anyway, which was the best option. I was too shaken to pretend that I'd spent an uneventful day with the flora and fauna.

"I saw the bear." I tried to say it calmly, but my voice came out as though I was in pain. "It's not a bear, though—it's some kind of wolf. And there are five of them. A big black one, and gray, and reddish-brown…" Charlie's eyes grew round with horror. He strode quickly to me and grabbed the tops of my arms.

"Are you okay?"

My head bobbed in a weak nod. But both us knew that I wasn't in, what you would exactly call a coherent condition.

"Tell me what happened."

"They didn't pay any attention to me. But after they were gone, I ran away and I fell down a lot."

He let go of my shoulders and wrapped his arms around me. For a long moment, he didn't say anything. The aftershock of the encounter was still visible, which didn't go unnoticed by Charlie.

"Wolves," he murmured.

"What?"

"The rangers said the tracks were wrong for a bear—but wolves just don't get that big…"

"These were huge."

"How many did you say you saw?"

"Five."

Charlie shook his head, frowning with anxiety. He finally spoke in a tone that allowed no argument. "No more hiking."

"No problem," I promised fervently, in a small voice.

Charlie called the station to report what I'd seen. I fudged a little bit about where exactly I'd seen the wolves—claiming I'd been on the trail that led to the north. I didn't want my dad to know how deep I'd gone into the forest against his wishes, and, more importantly, I didn't want anyone wandering near where Laurent might be searching for me. The thought of it made me feel sick. Sicker than I already felt.

"Are you hungry?" he asked me when he hung up the phone.

I shook my head, though I must have been starving. I hadn't eaten all day. I was sure my stomach couldn't digest anything, besides; I was too tired to eat. All I wanted was to lie down and rest.

"Just tired," I told him. I turned for the stairs.

"Hey," Charlie said his voice suddenly suspicious again. "Didn't you say Jacob was gone for the day?"

"That's what Billy said," I told him, confused by his question.

He studied my expression for a minute, and seemed satisfied with what he saw there.

"Huh."

"Why?" I asked, momentarily distracted. It sounded like he was implying that I'd been lying to him this morning. About something besides studying with Jessica.

"Well, it's just that when I went to pick up Harry, I saw Jacob out in front of the store down there with some of his friends. I waved hi, but he… well, I guess I don't know if he saw me. I think maybe he was arguing with his friends. He looked strange, like he was upset about something. And… different. It's like you can watch that kid growing! He gets bigger every time I see him."

"Billy said Jake and his friends were going up to Port Angeles to see some movies. They were probably just waiting for someone to meet them."

"Oh." Charlie nodded and headed for the kitchen.

I stood in the hall, thinking about Jacob arguing with his friends. I wondered if he had confronted Embry. I was glad he had. I paused to check the locks again, before I went to my room. It was a silly thing to do, what difference what locks make to any of the monsters I'd seen this afternoon. It would probably keep the wolves out, since it would take some time to figure out the locks. But if Laurent came here…

Or… Victoria.

I lay down on my bed, but I was shaking too hard to hope for sleep. I curled into a cramped ball under my quilt, and faced the horrifying facts.

There was nothing I could do. There were no precautions I could take. There was no place I could hide. I couldn't get away no matter how hard I tried. Escape was inevitable. In my case, there was no way out. All roads to safety were blocked. The end would come soon.

There was no one who could help me. I realized, with a nauseous roll of my stomach, that the situation was worse than even that. Because all those facts applied to Charlie, too. My father, sleeping one room away from me, was just a hairsbreadth off the heart of the target that was centred on me. My scent would lead them here, whether I was here or not.

The tremors of fear rocked me until my teeth chattered. I was helpless. I would be a cadaver for sure.

To calm myself, I fantasized the impossible: I imagined the big wolves catching up to Laurent in the woods and massacring the indestructible immortal the way they would any normal person. Despite the absurdity of such a vision, the idea comforted me. If the wolves got him, then he couldn't tell Victoria I was here all alone. If he didn't return, maybe she'd think the Cullens were still protecting me. If only the wolves could win such a fight…

My good vampires were never coming back; but how soothing it was to imagine that the other kind could also disappear. It was only a wild fantasy. Such a thing could never happen. I couldn't delude myself about something which was so impossible. But I fervently hoped by some miracle that everything would be alright. At the same time, I was aware that it was just a false hope.

How could I save my miserable life? How could I escape my predestined fate? Would Laurent or Victoria ever give up? How many more days would I have to live? How long would it take them to find me? Not very long. My scent, which was strong and mouth watering as every vampire who smelt it claimed, would easily lead them to me one way or another.

I squeezed my eyes tight together and waited for unconsciousness—almost eager for my nightmare to start. Better that than the pale, beautiful face that smiled at me now from behind my lids.

In my imagination, Victoria's eyes were black with thirst, bright with anticipation, and her lips curled back from her gleaming teeth in pleasure. Her red hair was brilliant as fire; it blew chaotically around her wild face. Laurent's words repeated in my head. If you knew what she had planned for you…

Then, I heard wolves howling loudly. All of their faces looking at me menacingly. I was in the same situation as I was this afternoon. There was no way out. I was going to die soon.

I pressed my fist against my mouth to keep from screaming. From now on, I was certain my nightmares were going to get worse, and this was just the beginning. The worst was yet to come. One thing I was sure of, there would be no distinction between my nightmares and the harsh reality. My life would be a living nightmare.


	2. Chapter 2

_DISCLAIMER: I do not own twilight. If I did I would be SM. So, obviously I'm not. Here's the second chapter. Thank you jtwsnw20, blonde97, JoinTeamJacob and wolf happiness for your awesome reviews. Things you need to know before you read this chapter:_

_1. __This chapter contains only 35% of SM's New moon and more of my work._

_2. __These chapters are figments of my imagination_

_3. __This is what would have happened according to me if Jacob had imprinted on Bella_

_4. __I will be stressing on Bella's and Jacob's feelings _

_5. __The feelings and thoughts of everyone will be shown eventually in the upcoming chapters_

_6. __I would appreciate your reviews and inputs_

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><p>Chapter 2 - Problems<p>

EACH TIME THAT I OPENED MY EYES TO THE MORNING light and realized that I'd lived through another night was a surprise to me. After the surprise wore off, my heart would start to accelerate and my palms would sweat; I couldn't really breathe again until I'd gotten up and ascertained that Charlie had survived as well.

I could tell he was worried, watching me jump at any loud sound, or my face would suddenly go white for no reason that he could see. I had health issues too, which hadn't existed earlier. Feeling strange body pains, frequent headaches, stomach aches, and stabbing pains in my chest region. This pain is different from the pain I felt when the whole threatened to rip open. It was a physiological pain, not a psychological one. From the questions he asked now and then, he seemed to blame the change on Jacob's continued absence. Things would've been so much better if he was with me.

I missed him horribly.

It had been bad enough to be alone before I was scared stiff. Now, more than ever, I yearned for his carefree laugh and his infectious grin. I needed the safe sanity of his homemade garage and his warm hand around my cold fingers. I needed my safe harbour.

I'd half expected him to call on Monday. If there had been some progress with Embry, wouldn't he want to report it? I wanted to believe that it was worry for his friend that was occupying all his time, not that he was just giving up on me. I didn't like believing that he'd given up on me. It didn't seem right after what he said in the theatre earlier that night, which wasn't too long ago. Why would he change his mind so quickly?

I called him on Tuesday, but no one answered. Were the phone lines still having problems? Or had Billy invested in a caller I.D.? Were he and Billy out tonight? Why wouldn't they answer my calls?

On Wednesday, I called every half hour until after eleven at night, desperate to hear the warmth of Jacob's voice. But no luck. What was going on? Had the Blacks left town?

Thursday, I sat in my truck in front of my house—with the locks pushed down—keys in hand, for a solid hour. I was arguing with myself, trying to justify a quick trip to La Push, but I couldn't do it.

I knew that Laurent would've gone back to Victoria by now. If I went to La Push, I took the chance of leading one of them there. What if they caught up to me when Jake was nearby? As much as it hurt me, I knew it was better for Jake that he was avoiding me. Safer for him. So I decided not to go. It was for Jacob's sake. He needn't be dragged into all this. His life shouldn't end in the hands of a vampire, even if my life was destined to end that way, his life wasn't.

It was bad enough that I couldn't figure out a way to keep Charlie safe. Night time was the most likely time that they would come looking for me, and what could I say to get Charlie out of the house? If I told him the truth, he'd have me locked up in a rubber room somewhere. I would have endured that—welcomed it, even—if it could have kept him safe. But Victoria would still come to his house first, looking for me. Maybe, if she found me here, that would be enough for her. Maybe she would just leave when she was done with me. She might not harm Charlie.

So I couldn't run away. Even if I could, where would I go? To Renee? I shuddered at the thought of dragging my lethal shadows into my mother's safe, sunny world. I would never endanger her in any way, and she was the last person I want to put in especially this kind of danger. Jacksonville was her safe harbour and I intended to keep it that way. The worry was eating a hole in my stomach. Soon, I would have matching punctures. That night, Charlie did me another favour and called Harry again to see if the Blacks were out of town.

Harry reported that Billy had attended the council meeting Wednesday night, and never mentioned anything about leaving. Charlie warned me not to make a nuisance of myself, and Jacob would call when he got around to it.

Friday afternoon, as I drove home from school, it hit me out of the blue.

I wasn't paying attention to the familiar road, letting the sound of the engine deaden my brain and silence the worries, when my subconscious delivered a verdict it must have been working on for some time without my knowledge.

As soon as I thought of it, I felt really stupid for not seeing it sooner. Sure. I'd had a lot on my mind—revenue-obsessed vampires, giant mutant wolves, a ragged hole in the center of my chest but when I laid the evidence out, it was embarrassingly obvious.

Jacob was avoiding me. Charlie saying he looked strange, upset. . . . Billy's vague, unhelpful answers. Holy crow, I knew exactly what was going on with Jacob. It was Sam Uley. Even my nightmares had been trying to tell me that. Sam had gotten to Jacob. I was shocked.

Whatever was happening to the other boys on the reservation had reached out and stolen my friend.

He'd been sucked into Sam's cult. Poor Jacob.

He hadn't given up on me at all, I realized with a rush of feeling.

I let my truck idle in front of my house. What should I do? I weighed the dangers against each other. If I went looking for Jacob, I risked the chance of Victoria or Laurent finding me with him.

If I didn't go after him, Sam would pull him deeper into his frightening, compulsory gang. Maybe it would be too late if I didn't act soon.

It had been a week, and no vampires had come for me yet. A week was more than enough time for them to have returned, so I must not be a priority. Most likely, as I'd decided before, they would come for me at night. The chances of them following me to La Push were much lower than the chance of losing Jacob to Sam.

It was worth the danger of the secluded forest road. This was no idle visit to see what was going on. I knew what was going on. This was a rescue mission. I was going to talk to Jacob—kidnap him if I had to. I'd once seen a PBS show on deprogramming the brainwashed. There had to be some kind of cure. I decided to think over it before I did anything. I had to learn how to deprogramme Jacob, before it was too late.

I spent some time on the internet, looking for cures on how to deprogramme brainwashed children. Apparently, the best time to cure them is when they've recently been brainwashed. Once you mastered the technique, and knew what to say to them, it would be very easy to convince them, and bring them back to normal. I spent another few more minutes doing research. I abruptly began feeling sick. I bent down on the table, my head in my hands. Since the past week, I had been feeling sick. I had weird sensations all over my body. I hadn't come to a conclusion, on the cause of this sudden sickness.

Sometimes, I felt a strange pull. As though someone was tugging me from the opposite direction. But this feeling was vague and unexplainable. I realized that there was some physical change in me. Possibly, it had something to do with the encounter in the meadow with Laurent. My body was probably giving a deferred reaction to my life threatening encounter. It was the only logical explanation I could come up with.

With all these current happenings in my life, physical illness added more pressure. I had too many problems at hand to solve. For now, I decided to rest, as I felt hazy. My constant sickness was worrying Charlie too. These invariable headaches and strange sensations, were affecting my outward appearance. He noticed my pale face, and sometimes, I turned white as chalk, with these strange sensations in my throat and chest. I had almost thrown up once. I had begun to sleep more. Not the normal sleep, but I had the urge to lie down and rest. Sometimes, I had a strange urge and longing for something. But I didn't know what. It was indescribable. I would feel fidgety and restless, which was bizarre, even for me.

When Charlie checked on me, he noticed my pallid appearance and decided that I needed to see the doctor. Though I assured him that I was fine, the sound of my feeble voice, sounded unconvincing even to me as well. After two hours or so, when I felt better, Charlie took me to the hospital. I felt fine right now though. These feelings and sickness was just temporary and would soon pass. Dr. Gerandy examined me and stated that I was suffering from stress, lack of sleep and emotional problems which were affecting my health.

Charlie insisted I buy the medicine prescribed, and take them regularly. I didn't understand what all the fuss was about, until the next time I felt sick, I glanced at my face in the mirror. I looked awful. My eyes were nearly yellow, and I looked very white. Almost like Ed - now, there was more pain in my chest. The whole threatened to rip apart yet again, and I desperately clutched my chest. Tears swelled up in my eyes. In order to calm myself, I swallowed all the pills, but didn't find instant relief. I didn't feel weak, but I had strange body pains yet again, in odd places like my chest, arms and sometimes my thighs. Strange things had begun to happen.

I was always accident prone, but this time, I didn't have an explanation to my body pains. They had become the most of vital, but most unwanted part of my miserable life. It was the cherry on top of the icing, but in a bad way. As if to add to all my vows, this had to start happening.

I lied down, waiting for unconsciousness to engulf me. Again, I found myself in the meadow, on my left; I found Laurent and Victoria glaring at me with their red eyes. I shook in fear, as they were ready to pounce on me, but suddenly, I hear loud growls from my right. I turned to see the gigantic mutant wolves standing there. I was trapped from both sides. This was the end for me.

I woke up in a jolt screaming loudly. I noticed that I was breathing hard and sweating all over. I noticed how dark it already was.

"Bella! Bella! Are you alright?" asked Charlie. I noticed the rocking chair was still moving, which meant he was sitting there the whole time. I stared at him confused. What was Charlie doing, sitting in my room, at this hour, and why was he looking so vexed?

"Dad, what's wrong?" I asked, my voice croaking, which surprised both me and Charlie.

"Bella, honey, you were screaming all night" he replied worriedly. "After you feel asleep, you've been screaming the whole time."

"I was?" I asked breathless.

"Yes. You were whimpering. You were in pain, Bella. I could see that even in your sleep. You screamed for hours. I tried to wake you up many times, but you just wouldn't wake up! You wouldn't come out of your nightmare" he replied, looking very upset.

"Oh Dad. I'm sorry" I apologized, sincerely. I felt guilty for upsetting Charlie like this. He wasn't involved in any of this. I was hurting him unnecessarily. He really looked troubled. He didn't deserve to see me in all this pain. I would have to pull myself together for his sake, yet again. At least for now, until Victoria found me. I shuddered at that thought, which didn't go unnoticed by Charlie. He sat down at the edge of my bed.

"Bells, honey, I know you're going through a rough time. But, you've got to move on. tells me you're having a lot on your mind. It's affecting your health. He may be no psychiatrist, but he knows something's wrong. Everyone knows that. Honey, tell me what's bothering you" he said concerned. What could I tell him? If I told him the implausible truth, he would throw a blue fit. On the other hand, I couldn't lie either. So, I decided to tell him one of the less major problems I had.

"Dad. It's Jake. I'm worried about him" I said.

"Jacob?" he questioned.

"I think … I think something weird is going on down at the reservation. Jacob told me about some strange stuff happening with the other boys his age. Now he's acting the same way and I'm scared."

"What kind of stuff?" He used his professional, police business voice. This was good, which meant that he was taking me seriously.

"First he was scared, and then he was avoiding me, and now… I'm afraid he's part of that bizarre gang down there, Sam's gang. Sam Uley's gang."

"Sam Uley?" Charlie repeated, surprised again.

"Yes."

Charlie's voice was more relaxed when he answered. "I think you've got it wrong, Bells. Sam Uley is a great kid. Well, he's a man now. A good son. You should hear Billy talk about him. He's really doing wonders with the youth on the reservation. He's the one who—" Charlie broke off mid-sentence, and I guessed that he had been about to make a reference to the night I'd gotten lost in the woods. I moved on quickly.

"Dad, it's not like that. Jacob was scared of him."

"Did you talk to Billy about this?" He was trying to soothe me now. I'd lost him as soon as I'd mentioned Sam. There was no point in continuing this conversation then.

"Billy's not concerned."

"Well, Bella, then I'm sure it's okay. Jacob's a kid; he was probably just messing around. I'm sure he's fine. He can't spend every waking minute with you, after all. He has a life too. He has other friends, a family and other interests too you know"

"This isn't about me," I insisted, but the battle was lost. I knew it.

"I don't think you need to worry about this. Let Billy take care of Jacob."

"Charlie…" My voice was starting to sound whiny.

"Bells, honey, I got a lot on my plate right now. You've got to pull yourself together. With you falling sick and all, and...those two tourists have gone missing off a trail outside crescent lake..."

There was an anxious edge to his voice. "This wolf problem is really getting out of hand."

I was briefly sidetracked—astounded, by his news. There was no way the wolves could have survived a match-up with Laurent…

"Are you sure that's what happened to them?" I asked.

"Afraid so, honey. There was—" He hesitated. "There were tracks again, and… some blood this time."

"Oh!" It must not have come to a confrontation, then. Laurent must have simply outrun the wolves, but why? What I'd seen in the meadow just got stranger and stranger—more impossible to understand. What on earth was going on? I couldn't figure it out.

"There are some strange things going on" said Charlie. "We've been hunting those wolves, but so far, we've had no luck. The places these wolves choose to attack are deep into the forest, which makes it even harder for us to find them"

I was silent. Laurent and Victoria would come for me soon, I realized. They were feeding on the tourists, and would soon cross the borders; the forest and it would be only a matter of seconds before they found me. What could I do to save Charlie? He would go hunting along with his colleagues, and either Laurent or Victoria could attack him. I was terrified with the thought. I shivered involuntarily. "Dad, please be careful. You could get hurt too. The wolves were really big and fast too" I stated

"Don't worry Bells. I can take of myself. I've got a loaded rifle" he said, trying to lighten the mood. I gave a small smile. What if they attacked Charlie? Would a rifle defend him against a cold hard skinned vampire? I pretty much doubted it. One swipe and that would be the end of it all. Charlie wouldn't even know what hit him. No human was match for a vampire. Rifle or no rifle. "Dad, do you have to go hunting? Can't you send someone else?" I asked, desperately.

"Sorry Bells. I know you're worried. But I can't. I'm Chief Swan aren't I? I've got to protect the townsfolk don't I?" he joked. His light joke didn't cheer me up one bit. He noticed this, so he came closer and patted my shoulder. "Don't worry yourself too much Bells. Your old man's a lot tougher than you think. He can take on a big bad wolf" he said comfortingly, with a smile. I was still not convinced.

"Now, it's late, go to sleep" he said, patting my head. I nodded reluctantly. There was no way I was going to get any sleep tonight. Nothing could convince me that Charlie would be safe.

How long would it take for either the wolves or the vampires to get Charlie? Many of the townsfolk were out there too, helping the police. How many dead bodies would that add up to?

"Don't worry yourself too much Bells. A girl your age shouldn't worry so much. Take it easy and relax. Get some rest now" he said, retiring to his room. I sighed. I wanted to see Jake right now. I longed for his comforting embrace. But first, I had to get him out of Sam Uley's cult. I had to risk the chance of being caught by Victoria. It didn't matter now. I had to see Jake, no matter what. I debated whether to go visit LaPush or not. I decided to go in the morning, where I could confront him and demand him to give me some answers.

As planned, I woke up early the next morning, and got ready to go. "Where are you off to this early?" asked Charlie surprised. "To see Jake" I replied hurrying. "Bella, I don't think that's a good idea. Give the boy sometime. He'll see you when he's ready" said Charlie sighing. He must think I was obsessed Jake. "Dad, it doesn't matter. I'm sure there's something seriously wrong going on down there" I replied gravely. Charlie raised his eyebrows. "Don't you think it's too early? Maybe you should go after sometime" he said. I shook my head. "He'll think of ways to avoid me. I have to talk to him right now" I said firmly.

"Be careful. You're still sick" warned Charlie. I nodded. Nothing would stop me today, not even my unexplainable sickness. I surprisingly didn't feel sick this morning. But, apparently, my truck did. It stopped midway, in the empty dirt road to LaPush. The truck had been making more noise than usual these days, which I had dismissed, because I had a lot on my mind.

I was infuriated. Just when I wanted to see Jacob, this had to happen. I decided to check what was wrong with the engine. As expected, I couldn't figure it out. I stood frustrated unknowing what to do. I could walk all the way back to Forks, ask Charlie to come and pick me up and see what was wrong with the truck, or I could go to Black's and ask Jacob to fix it. And I could talk to him too. I decided to do the latter. I kept walking up the dirt road. It had rained heavily last night, and the road was slushy and muddy.

It took me sometime to walk at a normal pace, hoping not to fall down. I finally reached the border of LaPush, and to my surprise, there were huge puddles of water and mud was infested everywhere. It looked as though there had been a landslide. Now, the real challenge would begin. I cursed inwardly. Why did all this have to happen now?

As expected, I had a hard time jumping across puddles. But unfortunately, my feet landed on the muddiest spot and I slipped. I expected a hard fall; instead, a set of strong arms gripped my shoulders from behind, preventing my fall. I steadied myself to see, to my surprise, Sam Uley helping me. I turned around and stood my ground. He hadn't worn a shirt, just a pair of cut off jeans. He wasn't alone; with him, was another boy, who had the same muscular build, but wasn't as tall as Sam. He was dressed the same way. I think his name was Jared. I had seen him with Sam on a few occasions when I was with Jacob.

"Jacob was right when he said you were clumsy" said Sam amused.

"What's it to you?" I snapped back angrily.

Sam kept smiling. "Actually, I wanted to talk to you"

I stared in surprise. "Talk to me?"

"Yes. It's regarding Jacob" he replied, suddenly serious.

"Jacob? So you're here to threaten me and tell me not see him? Or are you going to stop me from talking to him?" I demanded

"On the contrary, I _want you_ to see Jacob and talk to him. I've been forcing him to talk to you, but he wouldn't listen. I've been trying to contact you too. But I never got the chance. I'm glad you came down here today"

I listened in astonishment. Sam Uley wanted me to talk to Jake? And he was forcing Jake to talk to me? But why? "You're glad I came?" I asked amazed. "I thought you didn't want him to talk to me"

He nodded. "Yes, at first, I didn't. But now, things have changed. I've been forcing Jacob to talk to you for over a week. But he's so stubborn. He just won't listen, so I'll order him to talk to you today" he said.

I was hurt to think that Jacob didn't want to talk to me. But all the same, I didn't want Sam to force him to do something he didn't want to do. Maybe Jacob had given up on me after all, but I was still his friend, even if he didn't consider me a friend anymore.

"Why doesn't he want to talk to me? And just who are you to order him around?" I demanded angrily. "If he wants to talk to me, he will". "He will talk to you. I'll make sure of that" he replied authoritatively.

"If he didn't want to talk to me for so long, what makes you think he'll talk now? Tell me, what have you done to him?" I asked furious at his authoritative tone.

But Sam didn't look in the least offended. The boy with Sam was observing me closely as though he was searching for something. Suddenly, he turned to Sam, "You think she has any native blood in her at all?" he asked. I realized, Sam had been observing me too. "I don't think so" he replied, turning to me, and scrutinizing me carefully.

"Do you have any native blood in you at all?" he asked. I stared at them baffled.

"No. I don't think so" I stated.

Both of them continued examining me. "Then why do you think it's her?" asked Jared puzzled. "Now, let's not pass judgements, we still don't know how it works" replied Sam comfortingly. I was mystified. What on earth were they talking about?

"Do you have any far off Quileute blood relations at all?" asked Jared, thinking hard. I shook my head. Both of them furrowed their eyebrows. "Are you Hoh or probably Makah? Or Yakima then? Odawa, Swallah, Suquamish, Kalina or Jemez even?" asked Sam, suddenly, as though he was getting an idea. I shook my head. Why were they asking me this? What did the Native American tribes have to do with me or my bloodline? And what did Jared mean, 'then why do you think it's her?'

Were they angry at Jacob for having a non- native friend? It seemed silly. What did bloodline have to do with anything? Then, I remembered what Jake had told me once, '_They stand for our land, our people and our history. It brings pride and honour when they continue the generation". _So being from the same land and tribe was a big deal then? Jacob wasn't allowed to be friends with me, or other people than those in his tribe after coming of age, just because I didn't have native blood in me? That seemed ridiculous.

"What about your father?" he pressed. "Both my parents are from the Pacific northwest. I may have Quileute ancestors for all I care. What's that got to do with anything?" I said, getting exasperated now. These boys were infuriating.

"So then maybe you are Quileute?" asked Sam, hopefully. "Hell! I don't care if I'm Quileute or not! Would you tell me what's going on? What you have done to Jacob? Answer me!" I shouted. Neither of them seemed intimidated by my tone or angry expression. "Nothing" replied Sam. "I haven't done anything to him"

"Then why is he avoiding me? Why doesn't he want to talk to me? What's going on?" I demanded, outraged. "That's not for me to answer" he replied coolly. This infuriated me more.

"Who's supposed to answer then?" I demanded.

"Jacob" he answered instantly.

"Jacob?" I asked in a small voice. "If he doesn't want to talk to me, why will he answer my questions?"

"Oh he'll answer your questions alright. I'll make sure he does. If he doesn't, you order him to. Then he will" assured Sam

"Why the hell would I order him?"

"Because you want answers, don't you?"

"Yes, but..."

"Then, order him to answer you. Then he will. Ask him specifically what you want to know"

I stared unsure. "Ask him all the questions you want and don't you leave anything out. I'd like to see the look on his face when he answers. I want to see how he deals with this" said Jared snickering. I was momentarily confused, but I was livid soon enough. "What is your problem?" I asked glaring at him. "What has Jacob done to you? Why do you keep picking on him?"

He continued snickering, and Sam cracked a smile. "Emily's going to love her Sam. She's a real character" he said, gesturing towards me. Sam nodded smilingly, apparently agreeing. I shot death glares at both of them. "You're a tough one aren't you?" teased Jared. "Trust Jake to get an eerie one. But I'd like to see how you're going to handle all this".

"The girl runs with vampires, but is too afraid to deal with a few puddles" he continued.

I stiffened in shock. Sam shot a glare at Jared, who immediately shut up. How did they know about that?

"Hhow do you know about that?" I asked, my voice quivering. Both of them looked uncomfortable. "Jacob will tell you" Sam replied. "Let's get going now"

"Tell me what? And go where?"

"We're going to Jacob's. He'll tell you everything" answered Sam.

"Why aren't you telling me?"

"Because it's not my job"

"Who's job is it then?"

"Like I said, its Jacob's job, not mine. I'm not coming in between you two. You should sort it amongst yourselves. This is between you two. I'm no where involved in this"

Now, I was more than confused. What did he mean when he said he wasn't involved in all this? He was the one who started all this. I was curious as to what Jacob had to say to me. What was going on and how did these guys now about the Cullens? I clutched my chest tightly. I was caught off guard again. _Not now, not now. I have to meet Jacob first. For Jacob, for Jacob. _I chanted to comfort myself. They noticed this.

"Are you alright?" asked Sam concerned. "I'm fine." I said, almost in a whisper. "Let's go then" said Sam. I turned to walk up the road. "No, it'll take quite some time before we reach Jacob's if we walk. We may miss him, if we aren't quick" stated Sam.

"But how? My truck's broken down on the road" I said. "I'll see if I can fix it" he said nodding towards the opposite direction. We walked to the dirt road and almost fell down a couple of times.

If it weren't Sam and Jared, I would've ended up in the ER. Sam saved me from falling, when I tripped a couple of times on the muddy road, and Jared stood next to me, waiting to catch me, in case I fell. But I noticed his grins and small smiles every time I tripped. He was awfully quiet the whole time. Probably because he said something he shouldn't have. By the look Sam gave him, and was giving now, I was sure something was gravely wrong.

Like Jacob had said, the others acted like Sam owned them. Whatever he said was an absolute order. Who did he think he was? An aristocrat? Throwing his weight about. No wonder Jake was avoiding me. I bet he was already becoming like Sam. I hoped Jacob hadn't changed too much, which would make it harder for me to bring him back. I hoped to find my friend Jacob, not another version of Sam. I was very hurt to think he didn't want me to be his friend anymore. What had I done? Or was he done with me? If Sam wasn't stopping him, then who was?

And why was Sam acting so strangely? Why wasn't he telling me anything? Sure, I was no personal friend of his, but at least I deserved to know what was going on. And how did they know about vampires? I recalled the legend Jacob told me. So they were probably superstitious as Billy then. That's it! They probably didn't want Jake to be friends with me because I had hung out with vampires. That could be the only logical explanation. But this superstition was ridiculous. I wasn't going to hurt Jacob in any way, unless they considered me a bad influence. I wondered if they had passed on this ideology to Jake.

We reached my truck. Jared began examining the engine. "Some parts of the engine have been dislocated. I've got to check the sparkler too" stated Jared. With Sam's help, he began tinkering with the engine, and soon got it started. I stared wide eyed, as I leaned against the door of my truck wondering how he had done it. He didn't have any tools with him. "It's in running order" stated Sam.

I turned to climb into the passenger's seat. "You think it's a good idea for you to drive?" he asked. "And why not?" I demanded, put off with his tone. "Well, you've clearly shown how accident prone you are while walking, so I assume that would be the same condition while driving" he said amused by arrogance. "It's my truck. I'm driving it. If you want, you can walk all the way" I stated coldly. Jared tried to suppress his laughter. I hopped on to the driver seat, and opened the passenger door. Sam sat next to me, and Jared occupied the back seat. The engine roared as I put the key in and started the truck.

"My, this truck's sure is a loud motor" Sam commented, giving a small smile. "The sound's almost deafening". "My poor ears" teased Jared, chuckling. I could see he was back to normal. "Cover your ears if they hurt that bad" I retorted. Jared sniggered, while Sam pursed his lips together, in an attempt to control himself. I hated it when people picked on my truck.

Jared continued sniggering and chortling. May be it had something to do with Sam's change in mood. Who was this Sam Uley guy? And what was with him? Were they playing follow the leader? Their behaviour was getting stranger and stranger by the minute. I quickly began to drive towards the Black's residence, hoping to get some answers and find the cause Jacob's and his bizarre friend's behaviour. After a long two weeks, I would see him.I would finally confront Jacob, who may no longer be my friend.


	3. Chapter 3

_Disclaimer: I do not own twilight. If I did, I wouldn't be posting this fanfic. My sincere thanks to all those who reviewed. You guys are the best. You motivate me to update faster. Here's the third chapter. Again, here are the things you need to know:_

_**1. This chapter contains only 10% of SM's and obviously more of my work.**  
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_2.I spent nearly a day working on this chapter, because I couldn't think of a proper way to write about Jacob and Bella's confrontation._

_3.I have shockingly completed this chapter sooner than I expected._

_4.I'm a bit nervous, because I've tried hard to make the characters like SM's. So please go easy on me._

_5. The contents of this chapter may confuse you, but that's my intention. You'll find out why in the next chapter. _

_6.__Your reviews are much appreciated.__All your questions regarding this chapter will be answered in the next chapter. _

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><p>Chapter 3 - Fight<p>

I pulled into the Black's driveway. Sam and Jared immediately hopped out of the truck. "Wait here" ordered Sam, and disappeared with Jared into the Black's house, before I could even object. I debated whether to follow them or not. By Sam's tone, I decided I'd rather let Jake know I'm here through Sam, before springing any surprises. I waited impatiently for Jacob. I would demand an explanation to why he was avoiding me. But also, I realized, I was desperate to see him. I hadn't realized how much I had missed his laughter and infectious smile since the past two weeks.

I longed for his comforting words, though I could never tell him the unbelievable hidden secret I had. These two long without him to support me had been agonizing. Would it be hard to convince Jacob to leave Sam Uley's cult? Would I ever get my best friend back? I wondered. I would also have to ask him questions about Sam Uley, his cult and his unusual behaviour.

Just then, I saw Quil coming up to the house, through my rear view mirror. "Hey Quil" I greeted turning around. He looked grim, but was surprised to see me. "Hey Bella" he greeted back dully. "What are you doing here?"

"I came to see Jake" I replied. "You've come to see him too?"

"Yeah. But what are you doing out here?"

"Waiting for Jacob"

"Why? Isn't he in? It's still pretty early"

"Actually, Sam's gone in to get him"

"Sam Uley?" asked Quil in disbelief.

"Yeah"

"Don't tell me your best friends with him or something Bella"

"No! Of course not! I was on my way to see Jake, and my truck broke down. So I had to walk up here, and I met Sam along the way, he and Jared offered to fix the truck and well, he said they wanted Jake to talk to me"

Quil snorted in disbelief. "Is that why you're waiting here?" he asked. I nodded.

"I came here early, hoping to see Jake, and talk to him" he said. "He's with Sam all the time these days. He and Embry"

"So Sam's really gotten to him" I said gritting my teeth.

"You know about it?" he asked surprised.

I nodded. "Jake told me… before."

"Before," Quil repeated, and sighed. "I came here to see Jake and talk him out of it, but looks like Sam has something else planned for him. Is he in there right now?"

I nodded. "Yes, both him and Jared"

"Then there's no point in me talking to him then" he said mockingly. "He won't listen to a word I say to him, with his precious Sam beside him"

I was anxious now. "Quil, have you seen Jacob around lately?"

"Only from a distance"

"A distance?"

"Yeah. He' as bad the others. He won't leave Sam's side. I've seen him with Embry, but both of them have been ignoring me lately"

"Why? And before that—did he avoid everyone? Was he acting upset?"

His voice was low and rough. "Not for as long as the others. Maybe one day. Then Sam caught up with him."

"What do you think it is? Drugs or something?"

"I can't see Jacob or Embry getting into anything like that… but what do I know? What else could it be? And why aren't the old people worried?" He shook his head, and the fear showed in his eyes now. "Jacob didn't want to be a part of this… cult. I don't understand what could change him." He stared at me, his face frightened. "I don't want to be next."

My eyes mirrored his fear. That was the second time I'd heard it described as a cult. I shivered. "Are your parents any help?"

He grimaced. "Right. My grandfather's on the council with Jacob's dad. Sam Uley is the best thing that ever happened to this place, as far as he's concerned."

"So it's really bad then" I said in a soft voice. He nodded agreeing. "I don't know what to do. I thought of confronting Jake, but I guess Sam knew I would do it sooner or later, so maybe he's brainwashing him a bit more" he suggested gritting his teeth in frustration.

I was scared now. "But Sam told me, he wanted Jake to talk to me, and Jake was the one who was avoiding me" I protested. Quil snorted again. "Yeah right. Sam Uley wants Jake to talk to you. That's a truck load of garbage Bella. I bet he's giving Jake lessons on how to deal with you right now" he stated. I couldn't help but agree with him. But another part of me wanted to believe what Sam had told me.

"You better get out of here Bella. It's not safe. Who knows what Sam might do" warned Quil. I shook my head. "I want to see Jacob. No matter what he's going to say or do to avoid me" I stated firmly. "Well, go ahead then. I doubt you'll get much out of him. You're wasting your time Bella, we've lost him. He's not our Jacob anymore" said Quil. "Quil, why don't you wait with me?" I suggested, suddenly getting an idea. "We'll wait for him and convince him together"

Quil shook his head. "No way! I'm not staying here. I don't want to be anywhere near Sam Uley. I don't want to be next! I don't want to be a part of his freaky cult" he said shuddering. "It's bad enough he's taken Jake and Embry, I've no intention of being next" he replied. "But Quil..." I began. "No Bella, there's no point. I'll be going then. You better go too" he argued.

"I'll go when I meet Jacob" I replied stubbornly. He shook his head, and sighed. "Fine. Good luck then. Let me know how it goes. I'll be surprised if you make him change his mind. Try to snap him out of it, would you?" he said. "I'll try" I said. "I doubt it Bella" he replied gravely. "Well good luck and be careful. Bye" he said. "Bye" I replied, and I saw him disappear up the path he came from, through the mirror.

I thought hard about what Quil said. What on earth had Sam done to Jake? And what was their cult about? Jake and Embry didn't need drugs. They were strong, well built and healthy boys. Anyone who took one look at them would agree with me. Only a fool would argue about that. Maybe they were selling drugs. True Jake wasn't that rich, but that didn't matter to him, as far as I knew, making money wasn't a priority, at present. I didn't know about Embry though. Maybe he was the one who convinced Jake to join the cult in the first place.

With all these questions in my mind, I waited, fidgeting with the keys. Ten minutes passed. I was beginning to grow impatient. Another fifteen minutes passed. I could hear voices from the house. They were probably arguing about me, no doubt. The voices grew louder and louder by every passing second. They were having a pretty heated discussion. It went on for some time. I debated whether to go in or not. What were they arguing about for so long? Didn't Jacob want to see me at all? Didn't he want me as his friend anymore? Had being a part of Sam Uley's cult changed him that much, in just two weeks? Didn't he miss me at all?

To my surprise, I found my vision blurring, as tears were slowly forming in my eyes. Loud yells could be heard now. I couldn't follow what they were saying. It didn't make any sense to me at all. I decided to go see what was going on. In a fraction of a second, the yells were clearly audible. But all the same, I couldn't comprehend what they saying, because they were shouting in Quileute. The yells got louder, and now, I was afraid. What was going on inside?

I heard a deafening shout and then, I saw him. Charlie wasn't joking when he said that Jacob was growing. If it were possible, Jacob had grown taller, and more muscular. He had worn an old grey shirt and a fading grey pant. He stood on his front porch glaring at someone inside the house, Sam probably. He slammed the door shut, yelling something in Quileute, which I assumed was a slang.

He then, turned towards the direction of my truck, and his expression completely changed. His eyes softened, I could see elation, in those lovely eyes. I couldn't help but feel instant relief wash over me. A big smile spread across my face and I had a strange feeling of contentment. All the anger, sadness and frustration disappeared for some strange reason. Jacob quickly approached my truck and hopped in the passenger seat. A small part of my brain was asking me why he had such a look on his face.

I closely observed Jacob. He had dark circles under his eyes and I could've sworn he looked worn-out. Charlie and Quil were right. Jacob had changed. I heard never seen him glare at anyone that way. Not even Sam, when he had mentioned about him earlier. Jacob looked fierce. I felt a strange sensation, one I had never felt before. It spread through my body, as he sat next to me.

"Hey Jacob" I greeted. "How are you?"

"I'm fine. Bella, let's get away from here. Drive to the first beach" he replied, with a hint of worry in his voice. I stared surprised.

"But why?"

But Jacob didn't give me time to think about it. "Let's go Bella" he said, urgently, with a panicky edge in his voice. I didn't realize why, but something prompted me to do as he said. I started the truck and drove to the First beach. Jacob was awfully quiet, throughout the whole ride which was very unlike him. So my theory had been proved right. Jacob had become like Sam.

I began to worry, as I drove. How did Jacob change so much? What had Sam Uley done to him? I felt a spasm of anger towards the Quileute boy who had stolen my best friend. I was going to lose him soon, if I didn't do something quick. I had to talk him out of it, for his own good.

I drove as fast as I could, not caring if the engine burned out. I would bring Jacob back. I was prepared. I had memorized all the methods of deprogramming, hoping they would work. So far, they had produced excellent results and had proved to be very effective. We reached the first beach in a matter of minutes. Jacob was out of the truck, before I could shut the engine off. I climbed down and noticed him walking towards the shore. I followed him, and noted that he hung his head low, and was staring at the ground.

"Jacob, what's wrong?" I asked.

"Let's get this over with," he said in a hard, husky voice. I was shocked at his tone. Jacob had never used that tone with me, or anyone else. So far, he had been well spoken, and never behaved as brusquely as he was right now, especially with me. I could see his attempts to keep his composure.

I waited. He knew what I wanted.

"It's not what you think." His voice was abruptly weary. He continued walking. "It's not what I thought—I was way off."

"So what is it, then?"

He remained silent for a moment, still not looking at me, but continued walking. I didn't like this. I decided to try deprogramming.

My jaw tightened, and I spoke through my teeth. "I thought we were friends."

"We were." There was a slight emphasis on the past tense.

"But you don't need friends anymore," I said sourly. "You have Sam. Isn't that nice—you've always looked up to him so much."

"I didn't understand him before."

"And now you've seen the light. Hallelujah."

"It wasn't like I thought it was. This isn't Sam's fault. He's helping me as much as he can." His voice turned brittle and I could feel the anxiety beneath that brittleness.

"He's helping you," I repeated dubiously. "Naturally."

But Jacob didn't seem to be listening. He was taking deep, deliberate breaths, trying to calm himself. He was so mad that his hands were shaking.

"Jacob, please," I whispered "Won't you tell me what happened? Maybe I can help."

"No one can help me now." The words were a low moan; his voice broke.

"What did he do to you?" I demanded, tears collecting in my eyes. I walked faster and reached out to him, as I had once before, stepping forward with my arms wide.

This time he cringed away, holding his hands up defensively. "He didn't do anything to me. Don't touch me," he whispered, still not willing to face me.

"Is Sam catching?" I mumbled. The stupid tears had escaped the corners of my eyes. I wiped them away with the back of my hand, and folded my arms across my chest. I still followed him, in that position.

"Stop blaming Sam." The words came out fast, like a reflex. His hands reached up to twist around the hair that was no longer there, and then fell limply at his sides.

"Then who should I blame?" I retorted.

I could see his cheek bones rise, so he halfway smiled; it was a bleak, twisted thing, even though I couldn't see it, I was sure of this new expression.

"You don't want to hear that."

"The hell I don't!" I snapped. "I want to know, and I want to know now."

"The Cullens!" he replied instantly, his tone changing. He stopped walking and stood still. I couldn't move my legs. Now, he didn't say anything at all.

My mouth fell open and my breath came out with a whooshing sound. I was frozen in place, stabbed through with his double-edged words. The pain twisted in familiar patterns through my body, the jagged hole ripping me open from the inside out, but it was second place, background music to the chaos of my thoughts. I couldn't believe that I'd heard him correctly. Why was the answer so instant and quick? There was no trace of indecision in his voice. He still wouldn't turn around.

"I don't understand who you mean," I whispered.

"I knew you didn't want to hear it," he said in a low voice. "If you want to blame someone, why don't you point your finger at those filthy, reeking bloodsuckers that you love so much?" his voice suddenly turning loud.

My mouth still hung wide.

"I still don't understand who you mean," I repeated mechanically.

He made a sound, which clearly expressed his disbelief. "I think you understand exactly who I mean. You're not going to make me say it again are you? I don't like hurting you."

"I don't know what you mean" I whispered, a lot more upset and perplexed.

"The Cullens," he said slowly, drawing out the word. "I saw that you know—I can see in your eyes what it does to you when I say their name."

I shook my head back and forth in denial, trying to clear it at the same time. How did he know this? And how did it have anything to do with Sam's cult? Was it a gang of vampire-haters? What was the point of forming such a society when no vampires lived in Forks anymore? Why would Jacob start believing the stories about the Cullens now, when the evidence of them was long gone, never to return? It took me too long to come up with the correct response.

"You can see it in my eyes? Jacob, you're not even looking at me!" I stated weakly. I could feel a big lump forming in my throat. Tears threatened to fall down again.

"It doesn't matter Bella. I've seen how you react to them many times before. Whether I'm looking at you or not, it doesn't matter. I can tell the expression on your face right now" he stated. He was right though. I struggled to compose myself. I had to fix this. For Jacob. I tried to swallow the massive lump in my throat, and I tried again.

"Don't tell me you're listening to Billy's superstitious nonsense now," I said with a feeble attempt at mockery.

"He knows more than I gave him credit for."

"Be serious, Jacob."

He tightened his fists and I swore if he kept that up any longer, his fingernails would leave wounds on his palm. "I am serious Bella"

"Superstitions aside," I said quickly. "I still don't see what you're accusing the... Cullens"—wince—"of. They left more than half a year ago. How can you blame them for what Sam is doing now?"

"Sam isn't doing anything, Bella. And I know they're gone. But sometimes… things are set in motion, and then it's too late."

"What's set in motion? What's too late? What are you blaming them for?"

"The natural course of life is set in motion Bella. It's too late now, I can't change" he said in that rigid voice again. "And I blame them, _for existing,"_ he hissed. I could sense the abhorrence and fury in his voice.

I was surprised and distracted as the warning words came in Edward's voice again, when I wasn't even scared.

"Quiet now, Bella. Don't push him," Edward cautioned in my ear.

Ever since Edward's name had broken through the careful walls I'd buried it behind, I'd been unable to lock it up again. It didn't hurt now—not during the precious seconds when I could hear his voice.

Jacob was fuming in front of me, juddering with anger. He was shaking so hard.

I didn't understand why the Edward delusion was unexpectedly in my mind. Jacob was livid, but he was Jacob. There was no adrenaline, no danger.

"Give him a chance to calm down," Edward's voice insisted.

I shook my head in confusion. "You're being ridiculous," I told them both.

"Fine," Jacob answered, breathing deeply again. "I won't argue about it with you. It doesn't matter anyway, the damage is done."

"What damage? Tell me Jacob, what damage? What damage has caused you to change so much?" I demanded.

"I've turned into a monster" he replied instantly, again, his voice altering.

I gasped as I heard these words. "What do you mean you've turned into a monster? Who said that to you?" I cried.

"It's true Bella, I've become a monster. I know that, I don't need anyone to tell me"

"No you're not! That's a lie! I won't believe it!" I cried loudly.

He sighed. "I knew you'd say something like that. Let's head back. There's nothing more to say."

I gaped. "There's everything more to say! You haven't said anything yet!"

He walked past me, striding back towards the truck.

"Don't you walk away from me Jacob Black! I demand you tell me what's wrong this instant! Look at me!" I screamed. He immediately spun around and stared at me. I was instantly surprised besides my anger to see the look in his eyes. There were filled with pure adoration. My heart skipped a beat when I noticed this.

"Bella, I can't control myself, I've become a monster. I'm afraid to tell you. I don't want to lose you. I'm afraid you can't deal with what I am, what I've become" he replied, yet again, too hastily. I was surprised besides myself, when Sam Uley's words hit me. _"Oh, he'll answer your questions alright. I'll make sure he does. If he doesn't, you order him to. Then he will"_

I stared at him, lost in his gaze. What was this weird sensation? And why was I gazing at Jacob that way, and why was he looking at me like that? A small part of me felt drawn to him, as though I must look at him. He hadn't stopped staring. I tore my eyes away from his.

"I ran into Quil today," I said, starting deprogramming process again. According to the website, we target the person's weakest points, the person who they care about the most, or who they trust. I avoided his gaze, but I had to check his expression to see whether my words had any effect on him at all. Mentioning Quil, one of his dearest friend, would definitely have an effect. I bent my head and peeked, lifting my eyes to observe his reaction.

He still had that expression on his face, but I could see some emotion when I mentioned Quil. I was satisfied.

"You remember your friend, Quil? Yeah, he's terrified." I stated.

His expression was pained, besides the look he was giving me. "Quil" was all he said.

"He's worried about you, too. He's freaked out."

Jacob stared at me with desperate eyes.

I goaded him further. "He's frightened that he's next."

Jacob began coiling and uncoiling his hands. Mentioning Quil was probably the best thing I did. The wind blew strongly against me, and my hair covered my face. I could feel the sand in my eyes. I still had the urge to look at his face, so I saw through the corner of my eye. His face was turning a strange shade of green under the red-brown surface.

"He won't be next," Jacob muttered to himself. "He can't be. It's over now. This shouldn't still be happening"

"What shouldn't be happening?" I asked loudly. I pressed him to answer again. My plan was working.

"The change. It's not supposed to be happening, it should've ended with me" he replied hoarsely.

"What change? What are you talking about?" I demanded.

"The change which all Quileutes, with the right bloodline go through when they come of age, that's what I'm talking about"

I stared in confusion. Is that what Sam was talking about earlier? Is that why he was asking if I had any native blood in me? But what did the change in Jacob have to do with me? And why was he in pain? I could see he was suffering, but from what? What change could damage and hurt him to this extent?

"So what does this have to do with me then?" I asked irately. "Why did Sam ask me if I was Quileute? What does that have to with anything? Just because I'm not native, does it entitle that I'm not good enough to be your friend?" I bombarded.

"It has everything to do with you Bella. Sam asked you if you were Quileute, probably because he was curious. It doesn't mean that you're not good enough to be my friend or anything, it would be more appropriate and understandable if you were Quileute" he replied calmly.

"What would be more understandable?" I demanded furious. "Give me straight answers Jacob! And what does Jared mean, when he said 'then why do think it's her?'"

"Jared probably said that because you're my imprint"

I stared in amazement. I'm his what?

"Usually, imprints are mostly Native Quileute women or other Native Americans, but you're not. So, that's why Sam and Jared were curious. So far, all the imprints have been Native" he replied.

"What's an..." I began, when I heard a loud shout, followed by an ear splitting howl.

"JACOB! COME QUICKLY! IT'S AN EMERGENCY!" called a boy, who standing quite far off, at the other end of the beach. I couldn't see his face to recognize him. But I was sure it was one of Sam's gang.

"I have to get back." He whirled and stalked away so swiftly that I had to jog to keep up. "They need me. Go home Bella" he said.

"Why should I?"

"Because it's not safe"

"What's not safe?" I demanded.

"Being around me, it's not safe"

I chased him. "You're going back to Sam!"

"That's one way of looking at it," he said. He was mumbling and facing away.

I chased him back to the truck. "Wait!" I called as he turned to go.

He spun around to face me, and I saw that his hands were shaking again. He stood his ground, when I heard the boy yell again.

"JACOB! YOU CAN DEAL WITH HER LATER! THERE ARE OTHER THINGS AT HAND RIGHT NOW! SO HURRY UP WOULD YOU?"

"Go home, Bella. Right now! I've got to go"

I was frantic now. I wasn't ready to lose him now, when I needed him the most. If I let him go now, I was sure I was never going to get him back. A wild idea entered my mind, and before I could stop myself, I heard my voice escaping in a whisper.

"I'm sorry that I couldn't… before… I wish I could change how I feel about you, Jacob." I was desperate, reaching, stretching the truth so far that it curved nearly into the shape of a lie. "Maybe… maybe I would change," I whispered. "Maybe, if you gave me some time… just don't quit on me now, Jake. I can't take it."

His expression changed to agony in a second. One shaking hand reached out toward me, but he held it back.

"No. Don't think like that, Bella, please. Don't blame yourself; don't think this is your fault. This one is all me. I swear, it's not about you."

"It's not you, it's me," I whispered. "There's a new one."

"I mean it, Bella. I'm not…" he struggled, his voice going even huskier as he fought to control his emotion.

His eyes were tortured. "I'm not good enough to be your friend anymore, or anything else. I'm not what I was before. I'm not good. Right now is not a good time"

"What?" I stared at him, confused and appalled. "What are you saying? You're much better than I am, Jake. You are good! Who told you that you aren't? Sam? It's a vicious lie, Jacob! Don't let him tell you that!" I was suddenly yelling again.

Jacob's face went hard and flat. "No one had to tell me anything. I know what I am."

"You're my friend, that's what you are! Jake— please don't!" I begged.

He was backing away from me.

Maybe this wasn't about Sam at all. Maybe this had nothing to do with the Cullens. Maybe he was just trying to pull himself out of a hopeless situation. Maybe I should let him do that, if that's what was best for him. I should do that. It would be right.

"You're my friend, that's what you are! Jake— please don't!" I begged.

He was backing away from me.

"I'm sorry, Bella," he said again; this time it was a broken mumble. "I'm not good enough to be your friend anymore. I'm not the same as I used to be"

I was shocked to hear this. The silly, inconsequential hurt was incredibly potent. The tears welled up again. Are you… breaking up with me?" The words were all wrong, but they were the best way I could think to phrase what I was asking. After all, what Jake and I had was more than any schoolyard romance. Stronger.

"Bella, if that were the case, then I would say 'let's be friends' but, can't even say that. Please Bella, I can't... I'm not...look Bella, this isn't the right time. I can't, I have to go. Go home Bella" he said, and with that, he disappeared to the direction his friend was standing in.

I was unable to move from where I stood. I stared at the retreating figures, as the rain started to drizzle, stinging here and there against my skin. I couldn't take my eyes off him.

Jacob would come back. He had to.

The rain picked up, and so did the wind. The rain drops fell on my cheeks, indicating the tears which would flow. I stood there like that, shivering in the pouring rain. I slowly made my way to my truck. I'd left the windows open and the seats were slick and wet. It didn't matter. I was already soaked.

Not as bad! Not as bad! My mind tried to comfort me. It was true. This wasn't as bad. This wasn't the end of the world, not again. This was just the end of what little peace there was left behind. That was all. Not as bad, I agreed, then added, but bad enough. I'd thought Jake had been healing the hole in me—or at least plugging it up, keeping it from hurting me so much. I'd been wrong. He'd just been carving out his own hole, so that I was now riddled through like

Swiss cheese. I wondered why I didn't crumble into pieces. Charlie was waiting on the porch. As I rolled to a stop, he walked out to meet me.

"Billy called. He said you got in fight with Jake—said you were pretty upset," he explained as he opened my door for me. So Billy knew what Jacob was going to say to me, and exactly how I was going to react. Then Charlie looked at my face. A kind of horrified recognition registered in his expression. I tried to feel my face from the inside out, to know what he was seeing. My face felt empty and cold and I realized what it would remind him of.

"That's not exactly how it happened," I muttered.

Charlie put his arm around me and helped me out of the car. He didn't comment on my sodden clothes.

"Then what did happen'" he asked when we were inside. He pulled the afghan off the back of the sofa as he spoke and wrapped it around my shoulders. I realized I was shivering still.

"Jacob and I can't be friends anymore" I stated. Charlie shot me a strange look. "Who told you that?"

"Jacob," I stated, which was another cold harsh truth, I had to face.

Charlie's eyebrows pulled together. "You really think there's something wrong with the Uley kid?"

"I know there is. Jacob wouldn't tell me what, though." I could hear the water from my clothes dripping to the floor and splashing on the linoleum. "Jacob's changed Dad. He's not the same Jacob you and I used to know. He's changed, and I don't like it"

"What do you mean by changed?"

"He doesn't want to be friends with me, or anyone else besides those in Sam Uley's gang. His friend Quil told me the same thing"

Charlie was lost in thought. "Okay," he said absently.

"I'm going to go change."

I decided to take a shower because I was so cold, but the hot water didn't seem to affect the temperature of my skin. To my shock, I found hot tears flowing down my cheeks as the hot water flowed down my body. I let the silent tears flow, without bothering to wipe them. After I was done,I stared at my face in the mirror. I looked like a wreck. Just like when he had left me. My chest hurt again, but this time, I didn't bother to clutch myself like I used to. I stared at the mirror letting tears flow.


	4. Chapter 4

_Disclaimer : I do not own twilight, since I'm not SM . Thank you all for your awesome reviews. I really appreciate them. Here's what you've been waiting for. The fourth chapter. Things you need to know before you read :_

_There are some parts of SM's work here for obvious reasons_

_I've worked really hard for this chapter. I slogged for three days. Hope it meets your expectations._

_Any further inquiries about this chapter please PM me. _

_This chapter is extra long _

_Please read and review._

* * *

><p>Chapter 4 – Confrontation<p>

I didn't know how long I stood in the bathroom feeling the sorrow and pain. I was suffering the loss of a good friend. I didn't know how to handle this situation anymore. Jacob was gone. He had given up on me. He was no longer my friend. I had lost him for good. After a long time, I really felt abandoned. I let out a sigh. I was tired after today's events. I needed a break. It was still early in the morning, and I had the urge to sleep, rather than do anything else.

I wrapped myself in a towel and headed out of the bathroom. I put on some decent clothes, and curled myself into a ball and fell asleep. This time, I didn't have a dream. I was truly exhausted to even dream.

When I woke up again, the sun was high in the sky. It was already afternoon. I felt sluggish and I had a headache. I steadied myself and went to the bathroom.

"Don't you put this on Bella!" came Charlie's loud voice. He sounded angry. Who was he talking to?

"She made it perfectly clear that she and Jacob were just friends!" he exclaimed. He was talking to Billy? I was surprised. Charlie had never used that tone with Billy before. There was a long pause.

"You don't know what condition she's in!" he shouted.

"Yesterday, she screamed for hours! Yes, hours! The poor girl was whimpering in her sleep. I had to take her to the doctor. None of the medicines are working! And last night, I could hear the pain in her screams. It was so loud Billy!" he bellowed.

There was a pause again. "It's much worse than after he left! At least she would try to hide her pain! I can't see her like this Billy! My daughter's in agony!" he yelled loudly. I felt a spasm of pain rip through my chest. The mention of my zombie months brought back painful memories. I held my hands on either side of my chest. I hadn't felt this pain since yesterday. Even this morning, those few moments when I felt numb, it didn't affect me as much as it was right now. So my attempts to fool Charlie hadn't worked. He had seen through my facade.

"Send Jacob over to see her Billy! Just for a few hours! Please" I heard Charlie say. He was almost begging. I had never heard Charlie so upset before. So I must've screamed and yelled a lot last night, as Charlie had stated. There was a long pause again. Charlie merely grunted.

"Alright. You convince your boy that. I'll see you soon. Bye" he said and hung up. I quickly made my way to the bathroom, as quietly as possible. I looked in the bathroom mirror, and was shocked. I looked like a disaster. It was much worse than I looked in the morning. I tried to wash away the dark circles under my eyes, which looked like black bags. I quickly ran to my room and fixed my appalling appearance, and finally, I looked presentable. I went downstairs to eat. I was starving. Charlie was quite satisfied with what he saw, except for the dark circles.

"Bells honey, didn't you get any sleep?" he asked, concerned. "No, I did. I woke up just a minute ago. Why?" I replied, pretending to be mildly surprised. It wasn't a lie. Even if I didn't know why I had dark circles, I slept long enough the whole morning. I made some lasagne for me and Charlie and I ate quietly. Charlie cleared his throat, and I looked up. "So, Bella, what are your plans for today?" he asked, trying to be casual. "Nothing. I've got to clean the bathroom. It's a mess and there's a lot of laundry to do" I replied, looking at my plate.

"Well, after you've done that, why don't you and I watch a movie together? Or you could give a call to Angela or Jessica, and hang out with them" he suggested. I could see underneath his feeble attempts to cheer me up, there was a lot of concern and fear. He was afraid that I would turn into the zombie again.

"Yeah. Let's watch a movie together" I replied. I would at least pretend for Charlie, like I had for the past five months. Charlie was taken aback by my prompt answer. "You sure? Don't you want to call your friends?" he asked.

I knew he purposely suggested this. To get my mind off Jacob. As if hanging out with Angela and Jessica would solve anything. It wasn't going to save Jacob from Sam Uley's cult. I had to bring him back to his normal myself, but now, that was impossible, since Jacob didn't want to have to do anything with me anymore.

"They may have other plans" I replied, sighing. "But why don't you double check? One of them may be free you know" he urged. "No Dad, Jessica always has weekend plans and Angela maybe busy with Ben" I replied sighing. I was sure Jessica would find an excuse or claim that she was busy, and Angela, my kind hearted friend may just append me with her own plans. I was in no mood for company right now. I ate quickly and began with the laundry. Charlie began changing channels, looking for something good to watch. After I was done with the laundry and cleaning the bathroom, I went downstairs to watch the movie. Charlie had chosen a horror movie.

I knew why. He wanted to keep off subjects, which would hurt me. Romance was crossed off my movie list, and now friendship was too. I soon lost interest in the movie in the first half, though it was pretty scary. Even Charlie looked anxious. I smiled to myself. Finally, there was something that could scare Chief Swan. My thoughts kept going back to this morning's conversation. There were some parts of it which didn't make sense at all. Why was Jacob talking in riddles? He was never a person to beat around the bush. After the movie ended, I quickly prepared dinner. Charlie looked a bit shaken after the movie, which surprised me.

Maybe if I had paid attention I would've reacted the same way. After dinner, I went off to bed. I had school tomorrow, and I didn't want to end up looking like a racoon. I recalled today's events and sobbed quietly to myself. I pulled the quilt around myself and covered my face too. Tears kept flowing, and that pillow was wet my tears. But surprisingly, I fell asleep very quickly tonight, after grieving, waiting for the nightmares to begin.

This time, my nightmare was worse than usual, just as I had anticipated. I was standing in the meadow yet again, but this time, my hands were covered in blood. I turned around to see piles of dead bodies around me, covered in blood. Charlie, his colleagues and some of the townsfolk too. There were pools of blood everywhere, and I felt someone grab my arm. I was horrified to see blood dripping from the girl's face. "Run Bella, run!" she warned. "She's coming for you next!"

Then, there was Jake, a few feet away, his back turned towards me. "We can't be friends anymore Bella" he said. "You're not good enough" he stated, and began walking away. "JAKE! WAIT! COME BACK!" I shouted. But no amount of shouting and begging would bring him back. The faster I chased after him, the quicker he faded away. I saw another girl screaming at me; "You're next!" she threatened, and pointed towards the north, where I stared in horror, to see Victoria standing, a few feet away. She glared at me with her devilish ruby eyes, her mouth covered in blood. She grinned menacingly. "It's over Bella!" she said cunningly and lounged for me. I woke up screaming at the top of my lungs. It hurt my own ears. I found myself on the floor, my head throbbing in pain.

My body ached probably because I fell down from the bed. Again, I was sweating all over, only this time, it was much worse. It felt as though I'd jumped into a lake and just come out. My clothes were stuck to my body, and I could feel the sweat tinkling down my face, back and neck. It was by far, the worst dream I've ever had. I was breathing rapidly, and I could feel my heart thumping hard against my chest. If these nightmares continued, I would probably die of heart failure, rather than being murdered by a vampire.

I was surprised that Charlie hadn't come to wake me up. My scream mustn't have been that loud then. I checked the time. It was one in the morning. I had hardly any sleep then. I was too scared to fall asleep. Right now, I was ready face Victoria and let her kill me; rather go back to sleep and witness another nightmare. Just as I had predicted, my life was rapidly becoming a nightmare. How would I put an end to these nightmares?

I slouched against the wall and began worrying. Surely there was a way out? If Victoria wanted to kill me, then surely she would've done it by now? Why the delay? Did it mean that Laurent hadn't told her yet? Or possibly, by some miracle, Laurent was killed by the wolves, and they were the ones causing the deaths? I was sure there was a reason; there was something I was missing. Something I couldn't put my finger on. I recalled Victoria's cunning face the last time I confronted her. She didn't seem the kind to give up so easily, just like her mate James. He didn't rest until he had me cornered, and he acted fast. Surely Victoria would do the same? What would cause the delay?

Was she planning something bigger? That didn't seem appropriate. What was the need for plotting and scheming? I was just one fragile human. I didn't have a coven of vampires protecting me, like the last time. In James's case, he had to think it out carefully to get me alone. But for Victoria, it was a lot easier. She just had to come and get me. I was all alone. It was only a matter of time. I had to be patient. This nightmare would end soon. I sighed. Now, all I had to do was to protect Charlie.

He was in equal danger hunting outside, just as he was being with me at home. I just had to take my chance and let him stay outside, as far as possible from me. He seemed convinced that the wolves were responsible for the killings. Had they really killed Laurent? It seemed too good to be true. Sure they were enormous beasts, but they were no match for the marble skinned immortal. Could both of them be responsible for the killings? Either way, people were in danger.

Then, there was Jacob, who was now sucked into a cult. What had happened during those days when he was sick? What happened in these past two weeks that could've changed Jacob? What had Sam Uley said to him? What did he do to change him, that too in such a short period of time? And why wasn't Billy stopping Sam? Didn't he care about his son at all? Then why didn't he keep Jacob away from Sam? And why was Billy backing Jacob on ignoring me? He had found a way to blame me.

I was leading Jacob on, and he'd finally had enough. It was strange, for I'd feared that myself, but after the last thing Jacob had said yesterday morning, I didn't believe it anymore. There was much more to this than an unrequited crush, and it surprised me that Billy would stoop to claiming that. It made me think that whatever secret they were keeping was bigger than I'd been imagining. At least Charlie was on my side now. But what on earth was going down in the reservation? I had to find out.

What did Jacob mean, when he said all those things to me? I couldn't understand head or tail of it. What was an imprint? I hadn't given much thought to it since I came home. I had been too depressed. What change was Jacob talking about? I recalled his words. _"The change which all Quileutes, with the right bloodline go through when they come of age, that's what I'm talking about"_

What did the change in Quileutes have to do with me and hating vampires? And what was an imprint? I began thinking hard. Quileutes and vampires... then, it struck me. The legend which Jacob had told me.

_"Do you know any of our old __stories, about where we came from — the Quileutes, I mean?"_

_"Not really," _

_"Well, there are lots of legends, some of them claiming to date back to the Flood — supposedly, the ancient Quileutes tied their canoes to the tops of the tallest trees on the mountain to survive like Noah and the ark. Another legend claims that we descended from wolves — and that the wolves are our brothers still. It's against tribal law to kill them. _

_"Then there are the stories about the cold ones." _

_"The cold ones?" _

_"Yes. There are stories of the cold ones as old as the wolf legends, and some much more recent. _

_According to legend, my own great-grandfather knew some of them. He was the one who made the treaty that kept them off our land." _

_"Your great-grandfather?" _

_"He was a tribal elder, like my father. You see, the cold ones are the natural enemies of the wolf—well, not the wolf, really, but the wolves that turn into men, like our ancestors. You would call them werewolves." _

_"Werewolves have enemies?" _

_"Only one." _

I shook in fear, and I could feel sweat forming on my forehead. If I was not mistaken, then, the hatred in Jacob's voice when he mentioned the Cullens, the change, the hatred for vampires... this time, my chest didn't ache, because there were tremors all over my body. I found it hard to even sit. So then, Jacob was a...

Then, I suddenly heard a noise.

My eyes flew wide open in fright. Something sharp scraped along the length of my window with a high-pitched squeal, like fingernails against the glass.

I was too scared to turn around and look at the window. I was blinking the lingering tears from my eyes on the way. Should I make a run for it? No, that was pointless.

I slowly turned around and stared upwards at the window. I was trembling in fear.

A huge, dark shape wobbled erratically on the other side of the glass, lurching toward me like it was going to smash right through. I staggered back on the floor, terrified, my throat closing around a scream.

Victoria.

She'd come for me.

I was dead.

Not Charlie, too!

I choked back the building scream. I would have to keep quiet through this. Somehow, I had to keep Charlie from coming to investigate…

And then a familiar, husky voice called from the dark shape.

"Bella!" it hissed. "Ouch! Damn it, open the window! OUCH!"

I needed two seconds to shake off the horror before I could move, but then I stood up and hurried to the window and shoved the glass out of the way. The clouds were dimly lit from behind, enough for me to make sense of the shapes.

"What are you doing?" I gasped.

Jacob was clinging precariously to the top of the spruce that grew in the middle of Charlie's little front yard. His weight had bowed the tree toward the house and he now swung—his legs dangling twenty feet above the ground—not a yard away from me. The thin branches at the tip of the tree scraped against the side of the house again with a grating squeal.

"I'm trying to keep"—he huffed, shifting his weight as the treetop bounced him—"my promise!"

I blinked my wet blurry eyes, suddenly sure that I was dreaming.

"When did you ever promise to kill yourself falling out of Charlie's tree?"

He snorted, unamused, swinging his legs to improve his balance. "Get out of the way," he ordered.

"What?"

He swung his legs again, backwards and forward, increasing his momentum. I realized what he was trying to do.

"No, Jake!" I hissed.

But I ducked to the side, because it was too late. With a grunt, he launched himself toward my open window.

Another scream built in my throat as I waited for him to fall to his death—or at least maim himself against the wooden siding. To my shock, he swung agilely into my room, landing on the balls of his feet with a low thud.

We both looked to the door automatically, holding our breath, waiting to see if the noise had woken Charlie. A short moment of silence passed, and then we heard the muffled sound of Charlie's snore.

A wide grin spread slowly across Jacob's face; he seemed extremely pleased with himself. It wasn't the grin that I knew and loved—it was a new grin, one that was a bitter mockery of his old sincerity, on the new face that belonged to Sam.

That was a bit much for me. I'd cried myself to sleep over this boy. His harsh rejection had punched a painful new hole in what was left of my chest. He'd left a new nightmare behind him, like an infection in a sore—the insult after the injury. And now he was here in my room, smirking at me as if none of that had passed. Worse than that, even though his arrival had been noisy and awkward, it reminded me of when Edward used to sneak in through my window at night, and the reminder picked viciously at the unhealed wounds.

All of this, coupled with the fact that I was dog-tired, did not put me in a friendly mood. But, when he turned to look at me, all that changed. I saw him give me the same expression as he did yesterday morning. Underneath all that shock and fear, I had a warm feeling in the pit of my stomach. I tried to pull myself together. If he can look at me this way, then what's with all the 'we can't friends anymore' lines?

I opened my mouth to yell at him to get out, when he beat me to it.

"Bella, before you say anything, please let me explain" he began, holding his hands up in defense. "Before you order me to get out, I want to tell you something. If you order me to go, I won't get a chance to say what I have to"

I wanted him to go away, but I remembered my theory from a little while ago, and a small part of my brain wanted to listen to the explanation of his upsetting behaviour. "Let's sit down shall we?" he asked. I nodded, and saw him make himself comfortable on my bed. I hesitantly sat next to him. "Bella, believe me, I really am sorry for all those things I said earlier. But please, hear me out, I had a reason for saying all that though" he said.

"What reason Jacob? What on earth possessed you to say such things?" I demanded.

"I was scared Bella" he replied instantly.

"Scared?" I asked in disbelief.

"I already told you Bella, I was scared of losing you. But now, I realize, it's your choice alone to make, not mine. You have every right to know. I was a fool to keep it from you"

"Keep what from me?"

"Bella, if you haven't figured it out yet, I'm...I'm a werewolf"

I drew a sharp breath. So, the legends were true then. My thoughts from earlier had been proved correct. My breathing almost stopped. All the sleepless had caught up to me, and I almost fell on the bed, if Jacob hadn't steadied me. "Bella, are you alright?" he asked concerned.

"How would I be alright Jake?" I asked in a queer voice.

"Right. I'm so sorry Bella, it's all my fault. I did this to you"

"Did what?"

"I'm causing you to be sick and weak"

"How?"

"Bella, as I've already told you. I'm a werewolf"

"Werewolf" I repeated. I drew a couple of sharp breaths, and tried to steady my breathing. I noticed Jacob closely observing me. Finally, I let out a huge sigh. "So, you're a werewolf huh? So that's what you meant when you said you change if you have the right bloodline?"

He nodded. "That's right"

"First vampires, now werewolves. What's next? Witches? Gargoyles?" I asked disbelievingly. My life was filled with supernatural creatures from horror movies. It was too good to be true.

He chuckled. "Who knows? They may exist too"

"Wouldn't be surprised if they did" I muttered. He chuckled again. "Of course you wouldn't. But Bella, I must tell you something about us werewolves"

"Are you...are you... the ones killing the tourists?" I asked fearfully.

"Of course not Bella! Don't you remember what we call ourselves?"

"Protectors" I said slowly remembering.

"Exactly. Bella, honey, we only protect people from one thing—our one enemy. It's the reason we exist—because they do."

I stared at him blankly for one second before I understood. Then the blood drained from my face and a thin, wordless cry of horror broke through my lips.

He nodded. "I thought you, of all people, would realize what was really going on."

"Laurent," I whispered. "He's still here."

Jacob blinked twice, and cocked his head to one side. "Who's Laurent?"

I tried to sort out the chaos in my head so that I could answer. "You know—you saw him in the meadow. You were there…" The words came out in a wondering tone as it all sunk in. "You were there, and you kept him from killing me…"

"Oh, the black-haired leech?" He grinned, a tight, fierce grin. "Was that his name?"

I shuddered. "What were you thinking?" I whispered. "He could have killed you! Jake, you don't realize how dangerous—"

A small laugh interrupted me."Bella, one lone vampire isn't much of a problem for a pack as big as ours. It was so easy, it was hardly even fun!"

"What was so easy?"

"Killing the bloodsucker who was going to kill you. Now, I don't count that towards the whole murder thing," he added quickly. "Vampires don't count as people."

I could only mouth the words. "You… killed… Laurent?"

He nodded. "Well, it was a group effort," he qualified.

"Laurent is dead?" I whispered.

His expression changed. "You're not upset about that, are you? He was going to kill you—he was going for the kill, Bella, we were sure of that before we attacked. You know that, right?"

"I know that. No, I'm not upset—I'm…" I sighed and leaned against his shoulder in utter relief. "Laurent is dead. He's not coming back for me."

"You're not mad? He wasn't one of your friends or anything, was he?"

"My friend?" I stared up at him, confused and dizzy with relief. I started babbling, my eyes getting moist.

"No, Jake. I'm so… so relieved. I thought he was going to find me—I've been waiting for him every night, just hoping that he'd stop with me and leave Charlie alone. I've been so frightened, Jacob… But how? He was a vampire! How did you kill him? He was so strong, so hard, like marble…"

He put one big arm around me comfortingly. "It's what we're made for, Bells. We're strong, too. I wish you would have told me that you were so afraid. You didn't need to be."

"You weren't around," I mumbled, lost in thought.

"Oh, right."

"Wait, Jake—I thought you knew, though. Yesterday, you said it wasn't safe for me to be near you, I thought you knew that a vampire might be coming. Isn't that what you were talking about?"

He looked confused for a minute, and then he ducked his head. "No, that's not what I meant."

"Then why didn't you think it was safe for me there?"

He looked at me with guilt-ridden eyes. "There's more than one reason I'm not supposed to be around you, Bella. If I get too mad… too upset… you might get hurt."

I thought about that carefully. "When you were mad before… when I was yelling at you… and you were shaking…?"

"Yeah." His face dropped even lower. "That was pretty stupid of me. I have to keep a better hold on myself. I swore I wasn't going to get mad, no matter what you said to me. But… I just got so upset that I was going to lose you… that you couldn't deal with what I am…"

"What would happen… if you got too mad?" I whispered.

"I'd turn into a wolf," he whispered back.

"You don't need a full moon?"

He rolled his eyes. "Hollywood's version doesn't get much right." Then he sighed, and was serious again.

"You don't need to be so stressed out, Bells. We're going to take care of this. And we're keeping a special eye on Charlie and the others—we won't let anything happen to him. Trust me on that."

Something very, very obvious, something I should have grasped at once—but I'd been so distracted by the idea of Jacob and his friends fighting with Laurent, that I'd completely missed it at the time—occurred to me only then, when Jacob used the present tense again.

We're going to take care of this.

It wasn't over.

"Laurent is dead," I gasped, and my entire body went ice cold.

"Bella?" Jacob asked anxiously, touching my ashen cheek.

"If Laurent died… a week ago… then someone else is killing people now."

Jacob nodded; his teeth clenched together, and he spoke through them. "There were two of them. We thought his mate would want to fight us—in our stories, they usually get pretty pissed off if you kill their mate—but she just keeps running away, and then coming back again. If we could figure out what she was after, it would be easier to take her down. But she makes no sense. She keeps dancing around the edges, like she's testing our defences, looking for a way in—but in where? Where does she want to go?

Sam thinks she's trying to separate us, so she'll have a better chance…"

My body convulsed with useless heaves, my empty stomach contracting with horrified nausea, though there was nothing in it to expel.

Victoria was here. Looking for me. Killing strangers in the woods. The woods where Charlie was searching…

My head spun sickeningly.

Jacob's hands caught my shoulders—kept me from sliding off the bed. I could feel his hot breath on my cheek. "Bella! What's wrong?"

"Victoria," I gasped as soon as I could catch my breath around the nauseous spasms.

In my head, Edward snarled in fury at the name.

I felt Jacob pull me up from my slump. He draped me awkwardly across his lap, laying my limp head against his shoulder. He struggled to balance me, to keep me from sagging over, one way or the other He brushed the sweaty hair back from my face.

"Who?" Jacob asked. "Can you hear me, Bella? Bella?"

"She wasn't Laurent's mate," I moaned into his shoulder. "They were just old friends…"

"Do you need some water? A doctor? Tell me what to do," he demanded, frantic.

"I'm not sick—I'm scared," I explained in a whisper. The word scared didn't really seem to cover it.

Jacob patted my back. "Scared of this Victoria?" I nodded, shuddering. "Victoria is the red-haired female?" I trembled again, and whimpered, "Yes."

"How do you know she wasn't his mate?"

"Laurent told me James was her mate," I explained, automatically flexing the hand with the scar.

"Who's James?" he asked. I remembered that he didn't know any of the incidents that happened last summer. He suddenly caught the sight of the scar on my hand and stared. "This is..." he said fearfully. "Then, shouldn't you be..."

"It's what you think it is. I was bitten by a vampire"

"He got that close? But how and why?" asked Jacob confused and worried at the same time.

"Do you remember last summer, when I was hospitalized? James bit me and Ed...Edward saved me by sucking the venom out"

"He actually got that close?"he asked in a shocked voice.

I nodded.

He pulled my face around, holding it steady in his big hand. He stared intently into my eyes. "This is important. What does this James and red head have to do with you? Do you know what she wants?"

"Of course," I whispered. "She wants me." His eyes flipped wide, then narrowed into slits.

"Why?" he demanded.

"Edward killed James, and Victoria was his mate" I whispered. Jacob held me so tightly that there was no need for me to clutch at the hole—he kept me in one piece. "She did get… pissed off. But Laurent said she thought it was fairer to kill me than Edward. Mate for mate. She didn't know—still doesn't know, I guess—that… that…" I swallowed hard. "That things aren't like that with us anymore. Not for Edward, anyway."

Jacob was distracted by that, his face torn between several different expressions. "Is that what happened? Why the Cullens left?"

"I'm nothing but a human, after all. Nothing special," I explained, shrugging weakly.

Something like a growl—not a real growl, just a human approximation—rumbled in Jacob's chest under my ear. "If that idiot bloodsucker is honestly stupid enough—"

"Please," I moaned. "Please. Don't."

Jacob hesitated, then nodded once. I could he was arguing with himself for a few seconds, and began talking. "Bella, I know all this is a lot to take in, but there's something else you have to know. This probably isn't the best time...but you have to know this."

What else would be left to know? I wondered.

"Have you ever heard of imprinting?" he asked.

"Imprinting?" I repeated. "No. Is that what you were talking about earlier? What does that mean?"

"It's one of those bizarre things we have to deal with. It doesn't happen to everyone. In fact, it's the rare exception, not the rule. Sam had heard all the stories by then, the stories we all used to think were legends. He'd heard of imprinting, but he never dreamed . . . and neither did I..."

"What is it?" I prodded.

"When we look at her, she's the only thing that matters. She's the gravity, and we're willing to do or be anything for her. A father, a brother, a boyfriend and even a friend. Sometimes . . . we don't exactly know why . . . we find our mates that way"

"What way? Love at first sight?" I asked, curious.

His dark eyes were boring into mine. "It's a little bit more powerful than that. More absolute."

"You're serious, aren't you?" I asked slowly.

"Yeah, I am. It's much, much stronger. It's like... gravity moves. Once you see your imprint, in that instant she becomes the center of your world. Nothing matters more than her. _She's_ the one holding you in place. A new string holds you. Not one string, but a million. A million steel cables all tying you to one thing – to the very center of the universe. The gravity of the earth no longer tied you to the place where you stand. She's the most important thing, practically the _only_ thing. You would be anything for her. And neither of you get a choice about it"

"Love at first sight? But more powerful?" My voice still sounded a bit dubious, and he could hear that. But I had the urge to believe him. He seemed to be telling the truth.

"Did it happen to you?" I finally asked, still looking away. "This love-at-first-sight thing?"

"Yes"

The words he said earlier came to me in a rush, _because you're my imprint._

"You mean... you imprinted on me?" I said my voice in a low whisper. I was choking. My nails dug hard on the bed, and I grabbed the quilt, not ready to let go.

He nodded. "You mean...we're soul mates?" I asked choking. He nodded.

This was too much for me to handle. My head began to spin, I began to sway in all directions and the next thing I knew, I was succumbed by darkness.

"Bella, Bella, are you alright?" I heard an anxious voice ask.

I tried opening my eyes, but I was too tired. "Try to open your eyes honey"

I slowly opened my eyes and saw Jacob looking anxious. I was lying on my bed; and Jacob was hovering over me. I tried to sit up, with Jacob's help. I felt his warm hands on my skin. It seemed very soothing.

"You scared me there Bells. Haven't you had any sleep lately?"

"No. I've been sick, and I've been having an awful lot of nightmares lately."

Jacob's expression suddenly changed to guilt. "This is all my fault." He muttered. "If I had told you sooner, none of this would've happened"

"What do you mean?"

"The reason you've been falling sick Bells, is because of me"

I gasped. "You?'

"Yes. If I hadn't been trying so hard to fight the imprint and stay away from you, none of these things would've happened"

"You were...fighting the imprint? But why?"

"Because I was scared Bella. I was scared to death of losing you. I thought you couldn't deal with what I am, and because of this wolf claim on you, it would make you hate me, and reject the imprint...and the thought of losing you..." he said, looking a bit petrified.

"No Jake. It's alright that you're a wolf. You needn't be afraid of losing me. I'll always be your friend. Wolf or not, you're still Jacob, and that's all that matters"

His face broke into the wide, happy smile that I loved. "So, you're not afraid of me? You don't mind that I morph into a giant wolf?"

"No of course not. Why would I be afraid of you Jacob?"

"Because I'm a monster"

"No you're not!" I said a little too loudly, and both of us held our breaths. But Charlie didn't stir from his bed. "No you're not a monster Jacob!" I said fiercely, but more quietly this time. "You're my friend. You told me that yesterday too. Don't delude yourself thinking that you're a monster. I don't believe that"

"So, you don't hate me then?"

"Why would I hate you Jake?"

"After all I've said and done to you and not to mention the imprinting"

Then, the authenticity of the grave situation dawned to me. "So...then we're soul mates?" I asked the question from earlier, but slowly this time. A sick, churning feeling was developing inside my stomach. I had the urge to throw up again. It was much worse than when I felt sick this past week. Nothing was compared to this feeling. I was horrified, yet somehow satisfied with the explanation. No surprise there. Soul mates. When I considered the possibility of me and Jacob being soul mates, it seemed...logical. We were perfect for each other in every way. But at the same time, it didn't feel right.

He bit his lip and nodded his eyes still vehemently on mine. He hadn't looked away the whole time. He wasn't kidding about the imprinting. It was strong alright. The look in his eyes proved it.

My breath stopped in my lungs._ Now_, I understood _that look_ on his face. It was _love._ _True love._ It was an overwhelming, unconditional, everlasting love. Jacob was not just bound to me; he was in love with me. _Actually in love with me_. He would do anything for me, be anything for me; even give up his life for me.

"Oh no" I whispered. His expression changed to a fearful one. He glanced at me worriedly. I swallowed a couple of times. Jacob and I were soul mates. He was a werewolf, and I was his mate. He was in love with me. Not the same teenage, normal kind of love, but the undying and everlasting one, and he had no choice about it. I was his imprintee, and he would be whatever I wanted him to be. I would just have to decide. He could be my brother, the one I wanted when we first got to know each other, or the best friend I had and dearly missed.

I would just have to order him, and that would be ultimate verdict. He wouldn't question me. He undoubtedly be what I wanted him to be. If I wanted to uncomplicate things, I would just have to ask him to be my best friend, when he was before he turned into a werewolf, and things would go back to normal. Everything would be easy as breathing. Piece of cake.

But the expression on his face, when he gazed at me, the love and adoration in his lovely black eyes, the fear he had of losing me, his attempts to fight the imprint for my sake, the sacrifices he made before and after he turned into a wolf, the happy look on his face when we were together, the words he told me in the theatre that night…

All those memories came back to me, and it reminded about all the time we spent together.

No, I wouldn't. It wasn't fair. Just because I was the imprintee, didn't mean he had no choice about it. He was my friend. He had been there for me when I wasn't myself. He was there, healing the huge hole in my chest. Being the imprinter didn't entitle slavery. He didn't have to be forced to do anything. I wouldn't order him around. I could see that he wasn't happy with either being a wolf, or with the imprinting. He was forced into both of them, and with no way out. I wouldn't. I couldn't. No, I couldn't do that to him _again_. He deserved a choice. A chance to state his opinion.

I noticed the anticipatory expression on his face. The love, adoration, friendship, the tiredness, the anxiety of my choice, the sadness, the pain, the helplessness. I would lessen his burden. I was his soul mate after all. We were in this together.

"I'm not going to choose" I replied. I could see and sense the surprise on his face. He hadn't expected this kind of response from me.

"You're not?"

"No. I'm not" I replied firmly.

"But why? I thought that if you …"

"I'm not going to"

"But…"

"I won't do it Jacob. It's not my choice alone. I maybe your imprintee, but you have a say in this too. I'm not going to choose who I want you to be. It's sickening,unjust, and unethical. I won't do it. You're my soul mate aren't you? Then you have a right to state what you want too"

He stared into my eyes, unsure. "Bella, I've already told you, it's not my choice to make. It's yours. I'll have to do as you say, no matter what. I don't have a choice in it. And it's not just the imprinting, and not just being what you want, but also doing what you want"

"What do you mean?"

"I mean, whatever you say, I have to do it. If you ask me to jump off a building, I will, even if it kills me, I'd do it. Without a second thought. You own me Bella, I'm yours. I'm yours until you want me. I'm your property. I'm like a letter stamped hard and marked, with your name written all over it. I've no choice about it. I've never had a choice about it from the very beginning. The choice has always been yours. Even before the imprint. You decide everything; I've just got to obey"

"But Jake that's horrible!" I exclaimed, loudly. Then, I remembered Charlie. We waited for him to show up, but he surprisingly didn't. "He's still sleeping" stated Jacob. "How do you know?"I asked surprised.

"Werewolf senses. That's one of the best parts about being a wolf. You can hear things from miles away"

"Oh. But Charlie usually comes up when he hears me scream"

"I guess he's tired out. From the past few days, he's been hunting with his men all day. It must be exhausting. He never gives up"

"Oh". I felt accountable for this. If it hadn't been for me, Charlie would've gotten some rest today. "It's all my fault" I whispered. "You're fault?" he asked disbelievingly. They way he looked me right now, it would almost seem as though I could never do anything wrong.

"Yeah. If it weren't for me, Charlie would've gotten some rest today. If I wasn't all depressed and worried…"

"No Bells, this is my fault. This one's all on me. It was my fault from the very beginning. I made you unhappy. I should've told you as soon as possible. I should've been prepared. As soon as I found out that I imprinted on you, I tried to fight it, and ignore it. But Sam was right. You can't ignore something which is so absolute. It's impossible. Sam even offered to help me. He told me ways of telling you without freaking you out. Since I had already told you our secret, he assumed it wouldn't be hard for you to guess. He didn't understand why I wouldn't tell you, and why I feared you wouldn't accept what I am. If you could run with vampires…then what was the big deal with werewolves?" he said sadly. He paused for a while.

"But I wouldn't listen. I was worried about it for a week. It drove the pack insane and furious. I got into many fights with Sam and Paul these two weeks. The first week, Sam ordered me to stay away from you, and not to tell you. But after the imprinting, he forced me to meet you and talk to you. I just couldn't handle it Bells. I thought I was going to lose you. I wanted to protect you"

I listened in amazement. So this was about me all along. Jacob was afraid of losing me. He was _really afraid of losing me._ But that seemed silly. "Jake, I've already told you. You're my friend. You'll always be that. Imprint or not, you'll always my best friend. You won't lose me for that reason"

He grinned that old grin that I loved so much. He was my Jacob again. "Thanks Bells. Boy, was I freaked out or what when you showed up yesterday. I wasn't ready to tell you yet. I hadn't decided what to tell you, or what not to tell you. I didn't know how to break the news to you. Sam came and Jared came home and woke me up, and told me that you were waiting for me outside. I flipped and refused to come out of the house. Both of them began arguing with me and it went on for sometime"

"I guessed that much. Is that why you were yelling so loudly?" I said. He nodded."Sam and Jared threatened to drag me out and push me to you. But I didn't agree. Sam even threatened to hit me with a crowbar" he said and snorted. "Like that would work. Anyway, we argued for some time, and Billy backed Sam and ordered me to talk to you. No matter what they said, I wouldn't get out of my room. Then, finally, Sam ordered me to talk to you."

I stared angrily. "Who is Sam order you about?" I demanded. "Who does he think he is?"

"He's the Alpha of the pack. Don't be mad at Sam. He was only trying to help me. I should've listened to him"

"The alpha?" I asked puzzled.

"The alpha male is the leader of the wolf pack. Sam's the alpha of our pack. He was the first to phase. Whatever he says is an absolute order. We have no choice. We have to obey him"

"Wow. So you really have to obey him?" I asked dazed.

Jake nodded. "It's not so bad though. Sam gets on my nerves only while we're patrolling. He goes wild when we don't show up on time for patrol. He makes us run for hours. It's exhausting really. Besides that, he's really good guy. Better than some others" he said shrugging.

"So, you, Sam, Embry are all werewolves?" I asked, picturing the five mutant wolves in the meadow.

"Yeah"

"Has it happened to anyone else? The imprinting I mean"

"Yeah. It happened to Sam and Jared too" he replied. I could see some emotion in his eyes when he mentioned Sam.

"Is something wrong?"

"No, Nothing. I'll tell you another time. You're probably worn out. You should get some rest. You look tired", I didn't look tired as he did.

"But Jake, why didn't you want to tell me about the imprinting? Besides being scared of losing me. I'm sure there was another reason"

"You're right Bells .Besides losing you, I had other reasons. Actually, I didn't know what to do when you showed up this morning. Wait, it's past midnight, so, yesterday then. Well Bella, I didn't know what to say. I didn't know how you'd react to all this; or if would you start hating me. I thought I might lose you forever. I tried hard not to hurt you. To act as though everything was normal, but I couldn't. It was impossible. The imprint was too strong. For the past one week, I tried so hard to stay away from you, trying to distract myself, but every time I came near your house while patrolling, I had the urge to come and visit you, to see you smile, to talk and make laugh. Those where the times I was really weak. The pack picked these weak moments and would try to convince me to see you. I almost gave in sometimes, but the fear of your rejection kept coming back to me. So I didn't"

"Oh Jake" I said and hugged him tightly. He hugged me back, and I felt that strange sensation again. "You feel that Bella? That's the imprint" he stated, holding me tighter. I laid my head on his broad chest, feeling the warmth radiating from his body. This was Jacob, my friend, radiating the warmth like he always did. But this was not the just the physical thing. We stayed like that for some time. I sighed. "It's getting late. Go to sleep Bells" he said, unwinding himself from me. For some strange reason, I didn't like the distance he abruptly put between us. Then, a thought struck me.

"Jake, what did Billy say about the imprinting?"

"Yeah. Billy was happy when he heard I imprinted. But when he heard it was you, he had mixed feelings about it. But all the same, he was glad that it was you and not some stranger. It reduced one burden at least. And Bells, sorry for making you feel sick"

"That was really you?" I asked in disbelief.

"Yeah. Staying away from your imprints causes a lot of physical and mental pain. Being a part of imprinting, let's you know what the other person's feeling. I felt your pain Bella. The pack would force me to see you. Embry even tried to shove me out of the house once and tried to knock me down, and drag me to your place. Paul, Sam and Jared offered to help him with his plan too. Anything to get me to you. But I wouldn't listen, and I knocked Embry flat on the ground. Paul and I had a good old brawl too, but no luck. Nothing could get me to see you. Then, while patrolling the other night, I heard you scream for hours Bells. It was agonizing. I wanted to come and comfort you and pull you out of that nightmare. I could hear you whimper in your sleep. I just couldn't take it anymore. I thought of coming through your window, but Charlie was in the room, so I couldn't. But when you screamed really loudly, I almost phased back. Sam and the others were hoping something like this would happen sooner or later. But it wasn't the right time to meet you. But thankfully, Charlie woke you up and was tried to calm you down; otherwise I don't know what I would've done"

I stared into his depressing eyes, tears trickling down my cheeks. "I swear I would've died if you had screamed again. Then, Sam had it. He and everyone else in the pack decided to knock me out together, drag me to your place and make me explain. I was ready to take them down, but we had the leech roaming around, so they dropped the plan. Even on my way here, I heard you scream Bella, I'm so glad I came. I didn't know you were so scared. I'm sorry that I didn't tell you earlier. When we were walking in the beach, I swear I wasn't going to get mad no matter what you said to me. I just didn't want to hurt you that way. I didn't want to talk about those things. But you ordered me to, and I was forced to answer. Sam had told me that if I didn't answer, he had already told you to order me, knowing that I wouldn't have a choice. So I wanted to do it alone. I wanted convince you to stay away from me, even if I couldn't. But you didn't order me as I had expected. Did you notice when I answered you without hesitating? When you asked me angrily?"

I nodded. "That's it. That's the imprint working. I didn't answer, until you ordered me to. I was playing safe. But when you started to cry, I couldn't tell you how heartbreaking it was for me. It was torture Bella. When you were saying all those things to me, and yet, I couldn't tell you the truth" He drew in a deep breath. "Then, when Paul showed up, and you ordered me to wait, I was worried that I couldn't help them with the emergency. Luckily, you let me off the hook, and I ran away before you ordered me to stay again. I could hear you cry when I was running away Bella. I'm so sorry. I won't do it again."

He looked as though _he was ready to shed tears._ Poor Jacob. This wasn't fair. None of this was fair. Why did Jacob have to suffer my pain? The pain was all mine to bear, not his.

"When Charlie called, I was patrolling. When I came back, Billy rowed me and demanded I tell you the truth. I was being stubborn, and wouldn't listen. When he mentioned about your nightmares, and I remembered your loud screams, and I couldn't take it anymore. I knew I had to see you and I had to see you soon. But Sam had me patrolling for hours. When he heard I wanted to see you, he finally let me off the hook for a few minutes. So here I am" he said.

I could hear the sobs emerging from my chest. "Aw Bells, honey, don't cry" said Jake comfortingly, and put his arm around me again. I sobbed weakly on his chest. He rubbed my back, trying to calm me down. "It'll be alright Bells. Trust me, it will. We'll work this out, you and me, together. We'll find a way through this. I promise. We'll solve this imprinting stuff" he said in a sad tone.

For a moment, I forgot my sadness and stared into Jacob's distressed eyes. "Why are you sad Jake?" I asked. "Is all this wolf thing too much for you to handle?" He shook his head. "It's not so bad, I'm sad, because you're upset honey" he replied. "Is that…a part of imprinting as well?" I questioned, trying to hold back more tears that were threatening to flow.

"I guess so. But we still don't know how this imprinting thing works" he said calmly. "No one's imprinted on a girl who's in love with someone else before" he said the last bit in a mere whisper. I felt guilt wash over me like a tsunami. I wasn't being fair to Jacob. He didn't deserve someone as damaged as me. He deserved someone much better. Someone who was whole and could keep him happy, in every way.

"Jake, what do you want?" I asked. His black irises flickered with slight confusion. "I mean what do you want us to be?" I asked. It was stupid question. I should've known all along. The second I looked into those adulation filled eyes, and I got my answer. I saw the crush of a fifteen year old boy, the adoration of a sixteen year old, and the undying love and desire of a growing man.

"Oh" I replied, lowering my gaze, unable to meet his eyes. As if the guilt I was feeling right now wasn't adequate, this added a huge load to all my list of sorrows. I deserved Jacob lesser than I ever had before. It was very unfortunate that I was his imprint. I couldn't even love him back the same way he did. Even then and even now. Why did Jacob have to suffer this fate? Why did he have to be something he didn't want to be, and imprint on someone who couldn't give the happiness he deserved? Though he wouldn't admit it, he didn't want to be a werewolf. He didn't have a choice on either of the things which currently constituted a major part of his life.

Why did destiny play such games with us? My life was already a disaster, why did he have to be a part of this chaos? Why did Jacob's cheerful life have to be disrupted this way? What had he done to deserve this? All this was my fault. Victoria was chasing after me, and here was Jacob, trying to protect me, after all the things I had done to him. I felt sick in the gut. Sicker than I had ever felt in my whole life. I was disgusted with myself. Why was I so selfish? Why did others have to suffer the consequences of my choice? His life was peaceful and easy going, and this had to happen. I wanted to hand over myself to Victoria and let her do her worst. I deserved it. I deserved all the pain and torture she had installed for me. I deserved the worst kind of punishment.

"Bella, I've got to go" said Jacob. I wasn't ready to let him go just yet. But I had nothing to say, no excuses to make. "Can't you stay a little longer?" I pleaded. He looked rueful. "I wish I could. But the others would be wondering why I'm taking so long. I haven't finished patrolling yet, and the sun will rise soon. You need to sleep" he said, in a apologetic tone. "Don't you have school?"

I groaned as I remembered. School. How would I attend school after all this?

"I can skip one day. It's no big deal" I said, just hoping I could receive more comfort.

He gave me a small smile. "I'm sorry Bells, but I really got to go. It's not that I don't want to stay or anything. I've got to get back to patrolling or Sam will kill me, and I've got to tell them the news."

"News?" I asked surprised.

"Yeah. The reason why that red head's here" he replied

I sighed. "Oh. Alright then. Will I see you again soon?" I asked hopefully. He nodded. "Real soon Bells. I promise. Be careful until then. Take care Bella" he said and planted a kiss on my forehead, gently laid me down on my bed and quickly disappeared through the window.

I sighed yet again. I was so exhausted and muddled that I was not yet positive whether I was awake or asleep right now. I turned around and stared at the horizon, where the sun would rise in a few hours. My sun had just disappeared out the window. I closed my eyes and drifted out to a dreamless sleep.


	5. Chapter 5

_Disclaimer: I am not SM, so hence, I do not own twilight. Only the plot in this fanfic is mine. My gracious thanks to all my reviewers. **I want to know if you guys want a lot of romantic scenes between Bell and Jacob. It's your choice .**Sorry for the late update, I was busy. As usual, things you need to know:_

_There is SM's work in this chapter too._

_The next chapter will clear all your doubts about this one._

_Kindly read and review_

**_Please mention whether you want a lot of love scenes in your review or not._**

* * *

><p>Chapter 5 – Meeting<p>

When I woke up, the sun was shining brightly through my window. I wondered whether what had happened last night was a dream, or whether Jacob had actually come to see me. These days, I wasn't sure I could differentiate between dreams and reality. But, Jacob wasn't a dream. He had actually come last night. My open window was clear proof of his presence last night. I would never leave the window open, considering the present circumstances, it was too dangerous. Then, I realized I smelt like Jacob. He always smelled like the forest, fresh and earthy. I knew I couldn't make up that aura. So he really was here last night.

I got ready for school, and as always, classes passed in a blur. During lunch, Mike wanted to trade shifts with me. "Hey Bella, you have your shift today don't you?" he asked at the lunch table. I nodded. "Ben, Austin, Eric and I are going to a movie tomorrow, and it's my shift tomorrow, so could you trade with me? I'll do your shift today and you have to do my shift tomorrow. I've told mom. She's alright with it" he stated. "Oh. Alright. Have fun then" I replied. The boys were discussing about their plans for tomorrow, and Jessica and Lauren were discussing about college plans. "What are your plans for college Bella?" asked Angela.

I caught off guard by the topic. I hadn't planned anything at all. Besides, I had no intention of leaving Forks. "I really don't have any plans for college" I stammered. Angela looked surprised. "Oh. Then what you plan to do then?" she asked. I shrugged. "I don't know". Angela thought for a second. "Why don't you start applying to other colleges right now? There's quite some time before the deadlines" she suggested. "Oh, which colleges have you applied to?" I asked surprised. Angela and Ben had applied to many colleges in Seattle and Washington. I made a mental note to myself, and decided to start applying soon.

The afternoon classes went faster than expected. When I made my way to the parking lot, I was surprised to see Jacob leaning against my truck. "Jake!" I exclaimed. He turned around and smiled, the smile that and I loved, and gave me that _imprint _look. I would have to get used to it. He pulled me into a warm embrace, and that nice sensation tingled all over me again. I would soon have to get used to this too. Things were going to change.

After he let go, I felt a small part of me feeling that something was missing. That would be the imprint. "Hey Jake, what are you doing here?" I asked. "Sam ordered me to come and get you" he replied. "Sam ordered you? But why?" I asked surprised. "We're having a pack meeting, and he wants you there. I already told them about the leech, we need more details Bella. So you have to come to LaPush with me right now" he replied still giving the look.

"Alright then, hop in" I said and I started the truck. "How did you get here?" I asked. "I ran" was his astonishing answer. "You ran all the way from LaPush?" I questioned amazed. "But how? Didn't you get tired?" He grinned. "Nope" he said. "You're bluffing" I said driving up the road. "No I'm not Bella" he replied still gloating. "Then how did you…?" I began. Then, it struck me. "You're right. I turned into a wolf and ran all the way here. I phased back and changed in the woods behind your house and I walked up here" he replied smirking. "Oh" I said.

I recalled last night's conversation, "Jake, remember when you said that you were scared that I might reject the imprint?" I asked. He nodded. "What happens when the imprint is rejected?" I asked hesitantly. He immediately stiffened and looked uncomfortable. "You die" he answered, shocking me. "The imprinter goes through agony and unbearable physical pain if his imprint rejects him" he replied in a quivering voice. I remained silent. I ironically felt safe, yet uncomfortable with Jacob. Safe, because it was Jake, and uncomfortable, because he wasn't saying anything. The drive to LaPush was very silent. I tried to lighten the mood and picked up a conversation.

"So what does Sam want with me?"

"Well, specific information, about the bloodsucker"

"You mean Victoria?"

"Yeah. He wants to discuss something with you and the pack too"

"Oh" I replied, and recalled my previous encounter with Sam. I didn't like Sam anymore than I did two days ago. But what Jacob said yesterday, gave me a brief reason for his unsound behaviour. Even Jared's too. I was still annoyed with Sam and Jared. "What's wrong?" asked Jacob, studying my face. "Nothing" I replied. "Bella, I know and even you know how much of a bad liar you are. So don't bother, but even the imprint sometimes lets me know how strong you're feeling about something, I can feel all your emotions. But either way, you can tell me what's wrong. You can tell me anything. You know that right? I'm still me"

I sighed and narrated my encounter with Jared and Sam. After I finished, Jacob let out a small chuckle. I looked at him, surprised. "That sounds like Sam and Jared alright. Don't mind Sam Bella, he can be like that sometimes, and Jared's an idiot, but he's okay"

"So you found out I feeling irritated through our imprint?" I asked curious.

"No" he replied. "Then?" I asked surprise. "The look on your face Bella" he answered, suppressing a grin. "What look?" I asked surprised. "The irritated look on your face you have when you're thinking hard about something which annoys you" he replied, smiling broadly. He was suddenly my Jacob again. I didn't know how to react to this. "Are everyone in the pack like Sam?" I asked suddenly. "Naw. Not all of them. Paul's a hot head. He gets angry easily, and you know Embry. He's still the same as ever. I'll make sure that they behave. You'll have no trouble from Sam and Emily, his imprint and also his fiancée's really nice. She's a great cook"

"Oh. So that's what Jared meant that she'll like me very much" I replied_. Since we're both imprints. _"Emily's lonely most of the time, so she has some company now" he said. I nodded. He gave me directions to Sam's house. At the end of the lane was a tiny house that had once been gray. There was only one narrow window beside the weathered blue door, but the window box under it was filled with bright orange and yellow marigolds, giving the whole place a cheerful look. I parked the truck carefully, and hopped out.

"Er…Bella, don't stare at Emily okay? It kind of bugs Sam". I frowned at him. "Why would I stare?" I asked surprised.

Jacob looked really uncomfortable. "You'll see for yourself" he mumbled.

Jacob climbed up the one step and entered the house without knocking. I followed timidly after him. The front room, like Billy's house, was mostly kitchen. A young woman with satiny copper skin and long, straight, crow-black hair was standing at the counter by the sink, popping big muffins out of a tin and placing them on a paper plate. For one second, I thought the reason Jake had told me not to stare was because the girl was so beautiful.

But I was wrong. "Hello" she said in a melodic voice, and turned to face us full on, a smile on half of her face. The right side of her face was scarred from hairline to chin by three thick, red lines, livid in colour though they were long healed. One line pulled down the corner of her dark, almond-shaped right eye; another twisted the right side of her mouth into a permanent grimace.

Thankful for Jake's warning, I quickly turned my eyes away. "Oh," Emily said, surprised. "So this is Bella" she said. Jacob nodded. So obviously, I had been a topic of discussion earlier. Why wouldn't I? I was Jacob's imprint wasn't I? I still grasp my head over the concept of the whole imprinting. I saw Sam, Embry, Jared and another boy, Paul, I suppose, eating muffins. They smelled wonderful—like fresh blueberries. Jacob sat down and grabbed two muffins and began to eat.

She stared at me, and neither half of her once-beautiful face was friendly. "So, you're the vampire girl." I stiffened. "Yes. Are you the wolf girl?" Everyone laughed. "Told you, you'd like her Emily" said Jared chuckling. "But she's not vampire girl anymore, she's wolf girl now" said Embry. I looked over at Jacob, who wouldn't meet my gaze. "Hello Bella, I'm Emily Young, Sam imprint and fiancée" she introduced, extending her hand. I shook it. "Hello, I'm Bella Swan" I replied. Her scarred face broke into a wide smile. I surprisingly returned it back.

I took a seat next to Jacob, and I felt the imprint at work again. I saw the imprint look once more, and yet again, I couldn't stop staring. Paul stretched. "Finally, I couldn't take more of that moping and whining. It was really getting unbearable" he said mockingly. Jacob growled at him. "What? I'm stating facts. It would always be, Bella this, and Bella that, or what's Bella doing now? Should I tell Bella? Will she accept me? Will she hate me?" said Paul, with a disgusted look on his face. "And it was no different before the imprint. Trust you to fall for leech lover".

Jacob threw a muffin at him, which was the nearest thing to his reach. Paul caught it deftly and grinned. "Thanks, like to throw another?" he asked. Jacob was ready to lounge at him, when Sam began to talk. "QUIET!" he said loudly, and both of them shut up instantly. So this alpha thing was for real then. "So we know why we're here right? Bella?" he questioned. I lifted my head and gazed at his serious face and nodded. "So this Victoria's after you, because the Cullen's killed her mate, am I right?" he asked. I nodded. Emily stared at me with open-mouthed surprise. The boys' expression didn't differ much than Emily's. Though they were well aware of the fact, but they stared anyway. Only Jacob and Sam remained calm.

"She's just a girl," Embry protested.

"I didn't say it made sense. But that's why the bloodsucker's been trying to get past us. She's been heading for Forks" said Jacob.

Embry, Jared, Emily, Paul continued to stare at me, mouths still hanging open, for a long moment. I ducked my head.

"Excellent," Jared finally said, a smile beginning to pull up the corners of his mouth. "We've got bait."

With stunning speed, Jacob yanked a can opener from the table and launched it at Jared's head.

Jared's hand flicked up faster than I would have thought possible, and he snagged the tool just before it hit his face. Sam glared at him.

"Bella is not bait."

"You know what I mean," Jared said, unabashed. "What I am drunk? I wouldn't make your imprint bait!"

"So we'll be changing oar patterns," Sam said, ignoring their squabble. "We'll try leaving a few holes, and see if she falls for it. We'll have to split up, and I don't like that. But if she's really after Bella, she probably won't try to take advantage of our divided numbers."

"Quil's got to be close to joining us," Embry murmured. "Then we'll be able to split evenly."

Everyone looked down. I glanced at Jacob's face, and it was hopeless, like it had been two days ago. No matter how comfortable they seemed to be with their fate, here in this happy kitchen, none of these werewolves wanted the same fate for their friend.

"Well, we won't count on that," Sam said in a low voice, and then continued at his regular volume. "Paul, Jared, and Embry will take the outer perimeter, and Jacob and I will take the inner. We'll collapse in when we've got her trapped."

I noticed that Emily didn't particularly like that Sam would be in the smaller grouping. Her worry had me glancing up at Jacob, worrying, too.

Sam caught my eye. "Jacob thinks it would be best if you spent as much time as possible here in La Push. She won't know where to find you so easily, just in case."

"What about Charlie?" I demanded.

"March Madness is still going," Jacob said. "I think Billy and Harry can manage to keep Charlie down here when he's not at work."

"Wait," Sam said, holding one hand up. His glance flickered to Emily and then back to me. "That's what Jacob thinks is best, but you need to decide for yourself. You should weigh the risks of both options very seriously. If you choose to stay with us, I can't make any guarantees about your safety."

"I won't hurt her," Jacob mumbled, looking down. I looked up at him in surprise. "Why would Jacob hurt me?" I asked puzzled. Everyone looked a bit uncomfortable, and Emily looked upset. I was curious about their suddenly lapse in behaviour.

Sam composed himself and acted as if he hadn't heard me speak. "If there was somewhere else you felt safe…"

I bit my lip. Where could I go that wouldn't put someone else in danger? I recoiled the idea of bringing Renee into this- pulling her into the target of circles I wore... "I don't want Victoria anywhere else,"

Sam nodded. "That's true. It's better to have her here, where we can end this."

I flinched. I didn't want Jacob or any of the rest of them trying to end Victoria. I glanced at Jake's face; it was relaxed, almost the same as I remembered it from before the onset of the wolf thing, and utterly unconcerned by the idea of hunting vampires.

"You'll be careful, right?" I asked, an audible lump in my throat.

The boys burst into loud hoots of amusement. Everyone laughed at me—except Emily. She met my eyes, and I could suddenly see the symmetry underlying her deformity. Her face was still beautiful, and alive with a concern even more fierce than mine. I had to look away, before the love behind that concern could start me aching again.

"Man you're girlfriend's a real worry wart isn't she?" asked Jared chortling. Jacob, surprisingly, agreed. I expected the imprint to change some things, but apparently, it didn't. Jacob seemed to still think I was worrying too much over them hunting Victoria. All of them seemed more eccentric than I thought. They understand the danger they were in.

"So, it's decided then, Bella will be staying at LaPush from now on" said Sam, quite serious again. The pack became silent. "Bella, it would help if you stayed at my place, or Emily's. It would be a lot safer for you than anywhere else" said Jacob, gazing at me with his _imprint look_. It was going to be hard to get used to it.

"Alright" I agreed. I feel his protectiveness through our imprint. So I instantly agreed. Besides, what choice did I have? What else could I do? At least he would have the reassurance that I was secure. If that made him feel any better about this whole mess, I would do it. I would be in the safe harbour of his home. Even I knew his roof was a lot safer than mine. His home was a safe harbour, just like Jake.

"Bella, you'll have to be very careful, don't wander off on your own" warned Sam. "That leech could be around anywhere. She's been trying hard to pass us. It would be big trouble if you got caught". I nodded; annoyed to think Sam thought I was that dense. If only he know how I spent those days living in terror, awaiting my death. Hadn't Jacob told him? Hadn't he told him how I spent every day in agony and dread?

"One last thing, is there anything we need to know about this leech? Anything you know about her? Something special about her? A weakness probably? That would help us out" he questioned, looking hard at me. I racked my brains to recall my last encounter with Victoria. There was something about that fiery red haired vampire that had scared me. She was a lot her mate James. Both had that devilish look on their faces. I shuddered at the memory. Everyone noticed this. Jacob put arm around me, trying to comfort me. I tried to swallow the lump in my throat, and avoid the fear.

"She was very fast" I began, remembering the speed at which all of the vampires had disappeared that day. "Her mate James was a tracker. He had planned everything carefully. He wouldn't rest until he had me. He was very clever. He tricked me and got me to meet him alone. I thought he had kidnapped my mom" I said choking. Jacob rubbed my shoulder. Paul snorted. "It wouldn't be that hard to trick her" he muttered. Jacob shot him a death glare.

Even while undergoing this pain, I felt a felt a part of me soothed by his gesture. His warm hands caused a strange sensation all over me. It was warm feeling, in contrast to what I feeling inside right now. "So I assume Victoria to do the same. She won't stop until she has me. She might be as clever as her mate" I said in a diminutive voice.

Sam studied me carefully. "Alright then, you'll be staying here, or at Jacob's all the time, until he comes to get you" he ordered. I could feel the sternness in his voice. "Don't come out of the house unless it's an emergency. Stay with Emily at all times. Or with Billy". He glanced at Emily, who nodded reassuring him that she would take care of me. I'm sure he told her through his look, not to let me out of her sight.

"You won't go anywhere alone and you'll wait until Jacob or any of us come to get you. Don't cause any more trouble for us. Is that clear?" he commanded in his Alpha voice. I nodded meekly. Where else would I go? No, it was a question of where else _could I go?_ I sighed. So, I was officially under house arrest. It didn't matter anyway, since I had no special plans.

"Come down here the first thing tomorrow"

"But I have school and work" I protested. Sam sighed exasperated.

"Fine. It'll be Spring break soon, when does your holidays start?"

"The day after"

"Excellent. Come down the day after tomorrow. I trust you can be safe for one more day"

"Food's ready," announced Emily, then, and the strategic conversation was history. The guys hurried to surround the bigger table—which looked tiny and in danger of being crushed by them—and devoured the buffet-sized pan of eggs Emily placed in their midst in record time. Emily ate leaning against the counter like me—avoiding the bedlam at the table—and watched them with affectionate eyes. Her expression clearly stated that this was her family.

All in all, it wasn't exactly what I'd been expecting from a pack of werewolves.

I spent the day in La Push, the majority of it in Billy's house. He left a message on Charlie's phone and at the station, and Charlie showed up around dinnertime with two pizzas. It was good he brought two larges; Jacob ate one all by himself.

I saw Charlie eyeing the two of us suspiciously all night, especially the much-changed Jacob. He asked about the hair; Jacob shrugged and told him it was just more convenient. I knew that as soon as Charlie and I were headed home, Jacob would take off—off to run around as a wolf, as he had done intermittently through the entire day. He and his brothers of sorts kept up a constant watch, looking for some sign of Victoria's return. But since they'd chased her away from the hot springs last night—chased her halfway to Canada, according to Jacob—she'd yet to make another foray.

I had no hope at all that she might just give up. I didn't have that kind of luck.

Jacob walked me to my truck after dinner and lingered by the window, waiting for Charlie to drive away first.

"Don't be afraid tonight," Jacob said, while Charlie pretended to be having trouble with his seat belt.

"We'll be out there, watching."

"I won't worry about myself," I promised.

"You're silly. Hunting vampires is fun. It's the best part of this whole mess."

I shook my head. "If I'm silly, then you're dangerously unbalanced."

He chuckled. "Get some rest, Bella, honey. You look exhausted."

"I'll try."

Charlie honked his horn impatiently.

"See you tomorrow," Jacob said. "Come down first thing day after."

I could sense the worry in his voice. He was being surprisingly overprotective. I couldn't blame him though. It wasn't his fault that a revenge crazed vampire was after me.

"I will."

"Can't you skip school tomorrow? What difference does it make anyway?"

I shook my head. "It's the last day, after that, its Spring break, and I'll receive piles of assignments"

He sighed. "I would feel a lot better if you did. It can't be helped. Goodnight Bells. Sleep tight"

Charlie followed me home. I paid scant attention to the lights in my rear-view mirror. Instead, I wondered where Sam and Jared and Embry and Paul were, out running in the night. I wondered if Jacob had joined them yet.

When we got home, I hurried for the stairs, but Charlie was right behind me.

"What's going on, Bella?" he demanded before I could escape. "I thought Jacob was part of a gang and you two were fighting."

"We made up."

"And the gang?"

"I don't know—who can understand teenage boys? They're a mystery. But I met Sam Uley and his fiancée, Emily. The seemed pretty nice to me." I shrugged. "Must have all been a misunderstanding."

His face changed. "I hadn't heard that he and Emily had made it official. That's nice. Poor girl."

"Do you know what happened to her?"

"Mauled by a bear, up north, during salmon spawning season—horrible accident .It was more than a year ago now. I heard Sam was really messed up over it."

"That's horrible," I echoed. More than a year ago. I'd bet that meant it had happened when there was just one werewolf in La Push. I shuddered at the thought of how Sam must have felt every time he looked at Emily's face. I wonder what precisely happened to her.

That night, I lay awake for a long time trying to sort through the day. I worked my way backward through dinner with Billy, Jacob, and Charlie, to the long afternoon in the Blacks' house, waiting anxiously to hear something from Jacob, to Emily's kitchen, to the horror of the werewolf fight, to talking with Jacob on the beach.

I thought about what Sam and the others called vampires. _Leeches. _I could feel the hate in their voices. Even Jacob's. I curled into a tight ball. They considered all leeches to be the same, murderers' .No, Edward wasn't a killer. Even in his darker past, he'd never been a murderer of innocents, at least.

But what if he had been? What if, during the time I that I'd known him, he'd been just like any other vampire? What if people had been disappearing from the woods, just like now? Would that have kept me away from him?

I shook my head sadly. Love is irrational, I reminded myself. The more you loved someone, the less sense anything made.

I rolled over and tried to think of something else—and I thought of Jacob and his brothers, out running in the darkness. It wasn't fair that he had to suffer emotionally. If my love for Edward was irrational, then my relationship with Jacob was more than just complicated. It didn't feel right for me to say I loved Edward, knowing that Jacob was madly in love with me, and it didn't make sense either. I fell asleep imagining the wolves, invisible in the night, guarding me from danger. When I dreamed, I stood in the forest again, but I didn't wander. I was holding Emily's scarred hand as we faced into the shadows and waited anxiously for our werewolves to come home.

The next day, school passed in a blur. I went to work, and that passed in a daze too. Spring break began in Forks, and I spent most of my time in LaPush. On Jacob's request, I would either be at his house or at Emily's. So today, I went to Emily's house, and stayed there for some time, until Jacob came to get me. She was a lively person, who never sat in one place. I helped her with cooking lunch. She was really nice; and full of smiles. I could tell that beneath that scarred face, laid a very good human being. She had promised not to bore me too much; she was joking of course, but how would I entertain myself when Jacob and his brothers were hunting a deadly vampire?

She was an amazing cook as Jacob stated, and even gave me some recipes to try out. She had a lovely little garden, which was very well maintained. We decided to do some gardening, which she stated she hadn't done in a very long time. Soon, we were removing weed from the ground.

"Really, these weeds keep growing so fast, they'll end up destroying the plants" stated Emily, pulling hard. I nodded. "When was the last time you removed the weeds?" I asked, tugging hard the vicious plant. "About four weeks ago" she replied. I gasped. Weeds grew pretty quickly then. We were so involved in our tasks, that I forgot all my quandaries, at least for a little while.

When it was noon, I sighed, gazing at the sun. I wondered what Jacob was doing right now. I remembered the imprint and felt tears form in my eyes. I bet he didn't want this. I bet he regretted imprinting on me. Who wouldn't? Jacob was right, no one would have ever imprinted on a girl who was in love with someone else. How could I do this to Jake? I felt even more at fault, than I already was. "Bella, what's wrong?" asked Emily, noticing my sad gaze. I sighed. "It's nothing" I lied getting back to weeding. "Bella, you can you tell me" she said. "Maybe I can help you. We both are wolf girls remember?" she said the last part with a smile. I couldn't smiled back. "It's Jacob" I replied. "You're worried about him? I'm sure he'll be fine" she assured. "Sam won't let anything happen to him".

"It's not just about his safety, it's... it's about the imprint as well" I stated. Her expression changed, and her eyes softened. "Oh" she said. "I know it's weird, I felt the same, when it happened to me at first too. You can't figure anything out. But it eventually worked out between me and Sam. I'm sure it'll work out for Jacob and you too" she comforted.

I gazed at her scarred face. "I hope so Emily" I replied. I hesitated and decided to be brave. "Emily, can I ask you something?" I stammered. She nodded. "What happened to you? I mean...did you really get..." She shook her head. "Bella, Jacob hasn't told you much about me has he?"she asked. I shook my head.

"I can't expect him to either. You've only known for two days" she said, sighing. She slowly turned to look at her beautiful plants. "Bella, you may not know this, but I'm actually not from this reservation. I lived in the Makah reservation, a few miles from here. A year ago, I first met Sam when I came to visit my cousin Leah. I'm sure you know her" she stated.

"You mean Leah Clearwater? Harry's daughter?" I asked surprised. She nodded. "I came to visit her one day, and she introduced me to Sam, and after that, things just changed. When Sam first looked me in a funny way; I felt a strange connection too. For about a week or so, I felt odd sensations over my body. I shoved it away, thinking it was nothing, but the second week, I felt slight body pains. The third week I felt terribly sick. Then, Sam showed up at my place and explained everything to me. I wouldn't believe it at first, but my uncle and the council in the Quileute reservation, cleared everything"

She paused and I could feel the aura of sadness around her. "At first, I was horrified at Sam for doing that to me and Leah. I didn't even know him that well. I was furious at him. I refused to accept his claim on me. Leah didn't blame me at first, but I could tell that she was shattered. Sam told me he just didn't love her anymore. He didn't have any of his old feelings. All that mattered to him was me" she narrated.

I listened, amazed. "I blamed him for Leah's unhappiness. But he was sad too. He hated himself for what he had done to her. Everyone said he really loved her. He would've killed himself for it. I tried to resist him at first, but I soon fell sick, and I could hear the agony in his voice when he came to visit me" she paused again, her voice sounding broken.

"I would fight him, and send him away at first, but he never gave up. It was affecting our health. When both our health got worse, and I soon gave in. When I got to know Sam, I soon fell in love with him. I didn't even realize how or when exactly. I just did. And I didn't have a choice after that. Sam soon made it official. Leah was broken hearted, and she _just _changed. She was never the same Leah I knew again. Now, she hates both me and Sam. She refuses to change. Sam, Uncle Harry, and everyone else tried to convince her that the flaw wasn't in her. It wasn't her fault. She had nothing to do with any of this. Sam took the blame entirely. It made all of us miserable. Now, Leah just hates me" she said. I could sense the misery in her voice.

But it didn't stop me from feeling shocked. "I tried fighting the imprint many times for poor Leah's sake, but it didn't work. Sam lost control many times, but I never dreamed that...nobody ever assumed that he would ever hurt me...I was standing too close, he was really angry and I..." she said and flinched.

She let out an involuntary gasp out of fear. I could tell that memory still haunted her, even now. We remained silent for a long time. It took me some time to digest all this. Poor Leah. Poor Emily. Poor Sam. I had begun to understand Sam a bit now. "Is that why...is that why he couldn't guarantee my safety here?" I asked fearfully. She nodded. "You mean there are chances that...Jacob could hurt me too?"

I remembered the morning at the beach...when Jacob was shaking. If he had lost control...then I might've ended up like Emily. But I couldn't get myself to believe that he would hurt me. Jacob told me that he would never hurt me. But anytime he lost his temper and I was too close...I would end up like Emily. But even knowing all this, I was sure he wouldn't do it. He was Jacob after all.

"Well no, things might be different for you and Jacob" she replied. "He has much better self control than Sam did. Besides, you've known each other from earlier, so it may not be that hard for you to figure this all out". She smiled genuinely at me. It was a very reassuring, encouraging and confident smile. So she believed in Jacob as much as I did. Or perhaps, enough to believe that he wouldn't hurt me. "You'll figure this out, don't worry. It takes time" she stated, getting back to weeding. "It's only a matter of time until you figure it out"

I nodded and continued weeding. My thoughts were pre- occupied with everything what Emily said. Could life get any more complicated? Sam's messy love triangle was more complicated than mine. But in my case, there was no triangle. Edward didn't love me anymore. He left for the very reason Sam left Leah, he didn't love me anymore. But Sam fell in love with Emily, or imprinted on her. But, would Edward fall in love with someone else again? I flinched at the thought, and stopped working abruptly.

Would he forget me and move on? Would it matter to him if I moved on? Would he care? Would he be jealous or angry? I recalled the words he told me that fateful day in the forest,_ my kind, we are easily distracted._ So was I distraction all along? Had he found another distraction already? I was sure of the answer of the third question. It probably wouldn't have made a difference to him. Tears started overflowing from my cheeks and hit the ground. I began to sniff and sob. I clutched myself to control the pain.

"Bella! Bella!" exclaimed Emily coming over to me. "What's wrong? What did I say?" she asked shocked at my tears. I shook my head and let the tears flow, and continued sobbing Emily hugged me and comforted me. She took me inside, and made me a cup of tea. When I had calmed down, she began to speak. "Are you ready to talk?" she asked. I couldn't. I wasn't able to tell her what I was thinking. Finally, after a while, I debated whether to tell her or not. "It's ... complicated" I said, finally. She gave a small smile. "If anyone knows about complication, then it has to be me. I think I can help"

I had to agree with her. Her love story was a lot more complicated than mine. "I don't know what to do Emily. Things have become so complicated now. Everything was going so well. Jake and I were really great friends. But now, with the werewolf and imprinting thing, everything's changed. I'm lost Emily. I can't, I mean I don't feel the same as Jacob. He's my best friend, but I could've easily asked him to be that again, but I just couldn't do that to him. It would've made things a lot less complicated than it already is" I replied in a broken voice. Emily rubbed my back, trying to console me. "Why don't you talk to Jacob?" she suggested. "Talking always helps. You decide what you want Bella. You should discuss it together. Then you'll both know what you want. You should decide this together"

It made sense. Sooner or later, we had to talk about this. It was obvious how Jacob felt, but what about me? What did I want? It was something to think about. I brooded over it the whole afternoon. Sam, Paul and Jared came for lunch. Jacob and Embry were patrolling, and would be back later. I helped Emily in the kitchen, and hastily walked out, as Sam came to talk to her. I didn't think I could see any of that and they needed privacy.

After they left, Jacob and Embry came to eat. I took one glance, at both their faces, and instantly my guilty conscience awakened. Both looked worn out. But when Jacob gave me his imprint look, which I tried to return with a smile, I instantly felt better. Embry crashed on Emily's sofa, after eating. "Hey Bells, how's your day?" asked Jake.

"Good" I replied. "Emily and I cooked and spent the afternoon weeding". He grinned. "Bet you enjoyed that" he commented. I gave him a stern look. Weeding had been harder than I expected. The weeds in Emily's garden were a stubborn as mules. No matter how hard we pulled, they wouldn't come out. We were forced to use gardening tools. By the end of it all, I was worn out. My hands were still hurting.

He chuckled. "Sorry Bells, but the expression on your face was priceless". "Really?" I asked snorting. Emily was carefully observing us. "Well Bells, I'm off to crash for another two hours. You coming?" he asked, yawning. I nodded and followed him to his house. He crashed on his couch. Within a few seconds, he was asleep, snoring. I sighed. Billy was busy in the kitchen.

It was hard to believe that this sixteen year old boy, who was peacefully sleeping right now, was just hunting a vampire a few minutes ago. It was hard to believe that he was a werewolf, who despised vampires.

I only saw my friend Jacob, with all his smiles, laughter and warmth. I missed him. I missed Jacob. As much as I hated to admit, he had changed. He wasn't _my Jacob_ anymore. He had become a lot like Sam. His Alpha authority was influencing Jacob's behaviour too. My thoughts went back to Emily's words earlier. I felt sorry for Sam. That's why he cared about my safety. That's why he asked if I preferred to stay somewhere safer. It all made sense now. Sam wasn't as bad as I thought. He had gone through a lot. He didn't want me and Jacob to go through that too.

I was quite surprised to think, Sam Uley, was trying to protect me. Protect me from what Jacob was. Trying to protect Jacob from what he was. He didn't want history to repeat itself. That elucidated a lot. Jacob was right. Sam wasn't so bad after all. He was a good guy. I felt guilty of accusing Sam of hurting Jacob. He was doing the right thing. The thing_ he_ felt was right for the pack. I couldn't blame him for doing and saying all the things he did. But at the same time, I didn't like what he was doing to Jacob. I could feel my Jacob gradually changing into someone else. Someone who I'm sure I wouldn't like.


	6. Chapter 6

_Disclaimer: If I was SM, would I post in fanfic? So obviously I do not own twilight._

I would like to apologize for the delay of this chapter. I'm terribly sorry, hope you're not too mad. I couldn't post this chapter due to my failing health. I will post the next chapter soon. **I want post on a regular basis so that you do not have to wait too long, your opinion is necessary, so tell me, is it alright if I post once in two weeks or once in a week? Leave your opinion, it's mandatory. I want to know what you think. **For all those who have reviewed, thank you so much, love you all! I wanted your opinion on adding romance well in advance so that I can plan better. Yes, it's going to be good. Hope this chapter meets up to your expectations. Someone told me not to add romance immediately, which I obviously cannot do, and Bella is already in love with Jacob as stated by SM in her interview. She falls in love with him in New moon, and it's already happened, so she's not completely in love with Edward. Things you need to know:

_There are some parts of SM's wok in this chapter_

_Kindly excuse me if there are any grammatical errors_

_Kindly review_

* * *

><p>Chapter 6 – Conversation<p>

I could hear Jake snore now and then. My thoughts wandered, and my eyes flickered away from the television. Billy was eating lunch in the kitchen. I switched off the television, uninterested. I wasn't watching it anyway. "Bella! Would you like to have lunch?" called Billy. "No thanks! I already ate at Emily's" I called back. For the past one hour, I was thinking hard. I hadn't noticed Billy cooking lunch. I felt guilty; I should've offered to make some for him. I strolled into the kitchen, and saw Billy eating a plain sandwich. "I'm sorry Billy" I apologized. He looked surprised. "What are you apologizing for?" he asked.

"I should've made lunch for you. You could've told me. Would you like me to prepare something else?" I replied, leaning against the counter. "It's alright. I'm not that hungry anyway" he replied. I sighed. Jacob and his pack weren't the only ones who looked exhausted, even Billy did. "Billy, you're not sick are you?" I asked. "No, of course not. Just tired. You don't look so good either" he replied, glancing at my exhausted face. "May be you should get some sleep too, but I doubt you can sleep through that" he said, chuckling, indicating Jacob's snoring.

"Poor Jacob" I said, worried. "Don't worry Bella; the boy can take care of himself. Besides, he has Sam and the pack and you for support" he said, calmly. I wondered about how he felt about Jacob imprinting on me. "Billy…" I began, unsure of what to say. I cleared my throat and began again. "About the imprint…you're not mad are you?" I asked. To my surprise, he laughed. "No, of course not Bella. It was bound to happen one day or another" he replied. "Well, I just didn't expect it to be so soon and certainly didn't expect it to be you". "Not that it's a bad thing or anything, but I thought it would someone from the reservation" he amended, hastily, hoping that I wasn't offended.

"I know. I didn't either. Jacob told me about it. Sam imprinted on Emily, who is a Native American. I don't know about Jared's imprint, but I heard she was from the reservation too"

"Well, yes, we thought that's how it worked… but I guess it's proved wrong in Jacob's case"

"Yeah. Sam and Jared kept going on about it" I replied, rolling my eyes, remembering our first encounter. Billy chuckled. "Well, we all can't be the same" he said.

"Why do you think it happens?" I asked suddenly. "The imprinting I mean"

Billy thought for a moment. "It happens for many reasons. It's because the wolves have to find their soul mates eventually. The main reason could be lineage. The wolves have to continue their generations. The imprint is usually the person who has the best suited genes to carry on the generation. The impint's usually of the same tribe. But then again, Sam imprinted on Emily, who's from the Makah reservation. But then, the Makah and Hoh tribes are closely related to us Quileutes. If it was only about bloodline, then Jacob would've imprinted on someone else. So maybe there's another reason" he explained.

I listened astonished. If that were the case, then I was best suited to carry Jacob's baby? I shook my head from that mental thought. No way, Billy was right. There had to be some other reason. My genes were totally messed up. Hell, even I was totally messed up.

"You're right Billy, there has to be some other reason. My genes are completely messed up. My mother's part albino and I'm pretty sure Charlie isn't Quileute either" I stated. He gave a small laugh. "We still don't know why it happens" he said shrugging. "But we'll find out soon. If any of the others imprint, we might find a familiar pattern".

"I thought it was supposed to be rare"

"It is. But we'll see"

With that, silence overwhelmed us. We both were busy with our own thoughts. I racked my brains thinking hard. Why would I be the best choice for Jacob to imprint? I pondered. I didn't realize how long I had stood there, until I heard Jacob's snores get louder. Billy smiled. "He just gets louder and louder" he said. I smiled back. "You better go wake him up, he has to get back to patrolling" he said. I checked the time. There was still 45 minutes left. I didn't have the heart to wake him up even if two hours were up.

"He looks really exhausted." I stated. Billy agreed, nodding. "I know. But it can't be helped. But this is a great honour for Jacob, Bella. He's got the chance to protect our tribe. His name will go down in his history as a hero". I was surprised to hear this. "Really?" I asked. "My grandfather was a werewolf too. He was the leader of the tribe and pack. Everyone thought his generation of werewolves would be the last, but again, with these unexpected turn of events, things have changed" he answered with pride in his voice.

"Why do you think everyone changed into werewolves? Is there a theory for that too?"

"Yes, legend has it that werewolf's change happens, only when there is a presence or threat of the cold ones"

I listened amazed. My breath was caught in my lungs. "You mean to say that they Jacob and the others became werewolves, because of Victoria?" I squeaked in a small voice.

"Yes and no. They changed due to the presence of two completely differently vampires. Sam was the first werewolf in our tribe. He changed quickly, because was the oldest, and the others followed. The others will change soon too"

I gasped. "There are others too?"

He nodded gravely. "They won't stop changing until the vampire problem was put to an end. But I doubt killing this vampire might prevent the change of some others"

"Why so?"

Billy looked hesitant. "Well…because of your… friends… Sam changed into a werewolf much earlier than the others, because they were still there in Forks at that time. But they stayed long enough to cause the change" he elucidated. My heart almost stopped beating. Because of the Cul - because of _them, _Sam and the others have to suffer this fate. It added to the list of unfairness and injustice. I noticed how Billy was restraining himself from saying their names. Even _he knew then_. It wasn't just Charlie and Jacob.

Everyone seemed to be protecting me from getting hurt in different ways. Jacob and his pack were protecting me from physical pain and threat from Victoria, Charlie and Billy were trying to prevent me from getting hurt emotionally. Even Jacob was doing that before he changed. Life wasn't fair. Why did everyone have to suffer because of me?

I remembered my zombie months. I wondered how much I must've hurt Charlie and Renee and made them worry. All my friends must've been hurt by my behaviour. Now, even Jacob. I was totally messed up. There was no way out. I had to fix the mess I made; otherwise, things could end up worse than they already were. If that was possible. But in my case, even the impossible seemed to make an exception.

"You better go wake the boy up, or he'll end up sleeping here all day" said Billy. I went to hall and shook Jacob. He didn't even stir. "Jacob, wake up" I said, shaking him hard. He didn't budge. After several attempts, I managed to wake him up. "What? What?" he asked disoriented. "Relax Jake! It's just me! You have to go back to patrolling" I said. "Oh right!" he replied and yawned widely, stretching. We walked to Emily's and Jacob didn't leave until I reached the doorstep safely.

Emily smiled welcoming me. "Hello Bella, why don't we start making dinner?" she suggested. I helped her make casserole and some potatoes. While we waited for the potatoes to boil, I noticed Emily stare at me. "Bella…we need to talk" she began hesitantly. I glanced at her tentative face. "It's about you and Jake" she stated. I remembered her observing us earlier.

"I saw you two. I've seen the way you act around each other" she stated. "You're really comfortable around each other. It's very strange. I thought after all that you said, and after the imprinting, I thought it would affect your relationship. But it didn't, and you're still the same, Jake and Bella. There's hardly any difference from before and now. Jacob had described your relationship to me, and so had Sam. Even the others told me you were inseparable, which seems to stay the same even now"

I gazed her scarred face, wondering where this was going. She debated with herself and I could see the conflict of emotions in her eyes. Finally she gazed into my eyes and said, "Bella, I think you should give Jacob a chance". I gasped in amazement. "Bella, I can tell he really loves you. Besides the imprint. His old feelings may not be there anymore, but I can tell he loves you. If he didn't, why would he fight against the imprint? He wants you to love him by your will, not out of force. I saw it in his eyes, before he imprinted. His longing for you, and your affection. Bella, why don't you give him a chance? He deserves it. Would it be too much to give it a try? I'm not telling you to rush into things, you know better than that, but why don't you give it a shot? Jake's a really nice guy" she said seriously.

I couldn't find a hint of sarcasm in her voice. She was seriously suggesting that I try dating Jacob. She seemed pretty serious and I couldn't help but think about it. "That's just my opinion though Bella. Don't think that I'm forcing you into things. If you date Jacob, it shouldn't be an obligation. It should be out of your own free will. Jacob needs you, and so do you. If not as a lover, then as a friend you could be by his side. He's already told you about his feelings. Now it's your turn to decide. Think about it Bella. You're soul mates, if you work on your relationship now, then your future would be bright together. You're lucky you know. I didn't have the time to work on my relationship with Sam. But thankfully, things worked out. But it could've happened otherwise too" she advised.

I stared at her sentiment filled irises. "I think you're right" I replied quietly. She nodded. "Bella, I know how much he cares about you, and watches out for you. I saw him, watching carefully, until you entered here safely. He cared a great deal about you even before the imprint. You're lucky to have someone like Jacob. Not all of us are like that"

I listened silently. I couldn't help but agree with her. Jacob cared a lot about me. Even before the imprint. He cared a lot more than I deserved. "You're right" I whispered. "Bella, I've been through this too, and believe me, it's not easy. You don't have the complications I had. Your situation is a lot simpler than mine" she said, sighing.

That's where she was wrong. It was a lot more complicated than it looked. How could I date Jacob, when I was still hopelessly in love with someone else? He may not feel the same for me anymore, but I still did. Jacob deserved someone better. Someone who could love him back whole heartedly, not as a damaged good or a broken toy. Someone who could reciprocate his strong emotion, with equal potent.

"Think about it Bella" advised Emily. "I will, thanks Emily" I replied giving her a small smile. "And no matter what happens, I'm there for you" she said, comfortingly. I felt a twinge of reassurance in her voice. There was hope somewhere. A probable optimistic future for me and Jacob. Only _if_ I tried.

I followed Emily's advise and thought about it all evening. I sat on her small table and pondered over what she said. Her strong words, still echoing through my head. She was right, Jacob deserved a chance. He deserved a better soul mate, and I would try to be that soul mate. Jacob could heal me, like he already was. He was sewing up the big hole in my chest, which was immeasurably huge.

Emily brought some toast for me to eat later on. I ate quietly, still thinking. Emily wanted a better future for me and Jacob, the one she has with Sam. She didn't get to know him that well. She didn't know him that well. She didn't get a chance to. But I had that advantage. I had all the time in the world to get to know Jacob. Like he said, he wasn't going anywhere any time soon, and neither was I. Maybe this could work.

I was lost in thought for hours. "Bella! Bella!" called Emily, and I was interrupted from my deep string of thoughts. "Hmm?" I asked. "I've been calling you from the past five minutes" she stated, looking a bit annoyed. "Sorry, I was thinking" I mumbled. Her scarred face broke into a wide smile."I can see that" she replied, amused. "You've carefully buttered both sides of your toast".

To my embarrassment, my fingers and both sides of my toast were buttered neatly. "I'm sorry" I apologized. She chuckled. "What're you apologizing for? I came to ask you if wanted some tea" she said, still grinning. "Yes, thank you" I replied, trying to get over my embarrassment. She went back into the kitchen chuckling.

Since when did my life become so complicated? Why had my life changed so much? In my zombie months, things seemed so simple and uncomplicated. I would live life mechanically, and things would run smoothly. There was no complication. Right now, I longed for those months to come back, in order to escape this mess. If I hadn't come into Jacob's life, none this would've happened. Things would've been easier for the both of us. _At least for him._

He wouldn't have to deal with an imprint, who was so broken and damaged like me. He would've had an easier life as a werewolf, without bothering about me. He didn't have to constantly worry about my safety, or wonder what I'm doing, or whether I needed something. He could concentrate on hunting Victoria, without my thoughts disconcerting him at all. I could just go back to my old life and leave Jacob alone.

But, the fact occurred to me that, staying away from an imprint, would cause physical and mental pain to both us. Now, I was really stumped. So, I was better off with being with Jacob, rather than without. It was better for him, at least. I was already damaged beyond repair. What would a few more body aches do? Not much, I've had far worse, so it was nothing for me to worry about. But Jacob, he needed to be in the best condition. He needed every ounce of strength and energy he had, to fight Victoria.

He at least needed the power of self defense. I should give whatever I can, even though it wasn't much. Emily served me some tea, and I waited till it cooled. "Bella, I'm really glad you're thinking over it, but you better drink your tea, or it'll get cold" she stated, clearly amused by my behaviour again. I bent my head and sipped the tea quietly. My mind was wandering off too much. We had our tea, enjoying the peace and quiet. It was soothing and relaxing. Emily didn't interrupt me at all during the whole thinking process. She seemed to be at ease working in the kitchen. I had begun to like her. She seemed nice, and I could tell she really cared about Jake.

We would soon be good friends. After all, we both were wolf girls. I sighed for the hundredth time that day. Would I ever get used to all this? Would I ever have the normal life I had before my life was infested with mythical creatures? Even my subconscious knew the answer. That would never be possible. After we had tea, the boys came back, tired out. All of them looked ready to collapse. Emily rushed to serve them, and I assisted her. They swallowed down everything we served and emptied all the dishes. The tea pot was completely empty, without a single drop left. They drank the hot tea as though it was juice.

Embry re-occupied his previous position on the sofa and collapsed. Jared muttered something at him, but Embry was fast asleep already. "I'm beat. Now I have to drag myself home. No, I'll go to Kim's instead. See you Sam" he said, and he clearly wasn't exaggerating when he said he would drag himself. He and Embry looked the most tired among the lot. Even Jacob, who recently turned werewolf, looked in better shape than either of the two. It surprised me. They had black circles under their eyes and looked weak, if that was possible, considering their huge stature. I felt sorry for both of them, and the other wolves too.

Paul took off, and so did Jake and I, to give Sam and Emily some privacy, and Embry wouldn't be of any hindrance, considering his present state. As soon as we reached, the Black's house, Jacob shuffled to his room and collapsed on his bed, and I sat on the couch, but I soon fell asleep, tired out for some strange reason. When I woke up, it was already late. I heard Billy wheel himself into the hall. "Oh Bella, you're awake. I called Charlie to tell him you're here. He'll come and pick you up. I've ordered pizzas" he said, smiling. "Is he awake?" I asked, trying to sit up straight. I yawned widely, surprised at how exhausted I felt.

"Not yet" replied Billy. "You can go back to sleep if you want". "What time is it?" I questioned. "Half past six" replied Billy wheeling himself back into the kitchen. I dozed off again, involuntarily. When I woke up again, I found Charlie seated next to me, chuckling at something Billy said. The television was on at a high volume, and some game was on. Much to my amazement, standing not far away was Sam Uley. I recognized Emily's long black hair, as she arranged something the table. I could feel Jacob's presence behind me. "Hey Bella, glad you're awake, Billy invited us for a small party. The game's on tonight. You seemed exhausted Bells, you slept through all the racket we were making" said Charlie, chuckling.

I looked puzzled. "It was Billy's idea to throw a last minute party" stated Jacob, grinning. Sam nodded at me and Emily smiled broadly. Now, I understood. This was Billy's plan to remove all of Dad's suspicions about Sam Uley. I freshened up and was greeted by Emily, who handed me a pizza slice. "Good thing you didn't sleep too long, or they would be none left for you" she joked. I smiled, agreeing. Having two huge wolves to feed was a hard job, gathering from what we cooked today, wolves had enormous appetites. "Was I asleep too long?" I asked. "No, we just arrived fifteen minutes ago. Jake woke up only ten minutes before you did, and half the food's gone" she said, smiling, and arranging the plates.

I noticed Jacob, sipping soda from his can, leaning casually against the wall, watching the game. I was surprised to see him wear a black T- shirt and blue jeans, which I hadn't noticed earlier. He seemed to be walking around half naked these days. I was unexpectedly hungry, after tea, which I had not too long ago. Emily brought a cake that would have won over a harder man than Charlie. I could see, as the conversation flowed naturally through a range of casual subjects, that any worries Charlie might have harboured about gangs in La Push were being dissolved. Jake and I skipped out early, to get some privacy. We went out to his garage and sat in the Rabbit. He gave that imprint look again. I thought it was the best time to ask questions, but I immediately changed my mind, when he leaned his head back, his face drawn with exhaustion.

"You need some sleep, Jake."

"I'll get around to it."

"Is that one of those wolf things?" I asked him. "The heat, I mean."

"Yeah. You noticed? We run a little warmer than the normal people. About one-oh-eight, one-oh-nine. I never get cold anymore. I could stand like this"—he gestured to his bare torso—"in a snowstorm and it wouldn't bother me. The flakes would turn to rain where I stood."

"Yeah, the other night, I could feel your warmth. So what other wolf things do you have to deal with?" I couldn't help but ask.

"We heal pretty fast, you wanna see? It's pretty cool." His eyes flipped open and he grinned. He reached around me to the glove compartment and dug around for a minute. His hand came out with a pocketknife.

"No, I do not want to see!" I shouted as soon as I realized what he was thinking. "Put that away!"

Jacob chuckled, but shoved the knife back where it belonged. "Fine. It's a good thing we heal, though.

You can't go see just any doctor when you're running a temperature that should mean you're dead."

"No, I guess not." I thought about that for a minute. "… And being so big—that's part of it? Is that why you're all worried about Quil?"

"That and the fact that Quil's grandfather says the kid could fry an egg on his forehead." Jacob's face turned hopeless. "It won't be long now. There's no exact age… it just builds and builds and then suddenly—" He broke off, and it was a moment before he could speak again. "Sometimes, if you get really upset or something, that can trigger it early. But I wasn't upset about anything—I was happy."

He laughed bitterly. "Because of you, mostly. That's why it didn't happen to me sooner. Instead it just kept on building up inside me—I was like a time bomb. You know what set me off? I got back from that movie and Billy said I looked weird. That was all, but I just snapped. And then I—I exploded. I almost ripped his face off—my own father!" He shuddered, and his face paled.

"Is it really bad, Jake?" I asked anxiously, wishing I had some way to help him. "Are you miserable?"

"No, I'm not miserable," he told me. "Not anymore. Not now that you know. That was hard, before." He leaned over so that his cheek was resting on top of my head. He was quiet for a moment, and I wondered what he was thinking about. Maybe I didn't want to know.

"What's the hardest part?" I whispered, still wishing I could help.

"The hardest part is feeling… out of control," he said slowly. "Feeling like I can't be sure of myself—like maybe you shouldn't be around me, like maybe nobody should. Like I'm a monster who might hurt somebody. You've seen Emily. Sam lost control of his temper for just one second… and she was standing too close. And now there's nothing he can ever do to put it right again. I hear his thoughts—I know what that feels like…

"Who wants to be a nightmare, a monster?

"And then, the way it comes so easily to me, the way I'm better at it than the rest of them—does that make me even less human than Embry or Sam? Sometimes I'm afraid that I'm losing myself." I could feel his strong sad emotions conflict with each other. Imprinting gave you the power to feel each other's emotions as Jacob had stated, but I didn't know it was this strong. It was as though his pain was mine.

" You can read each other's thoughts?" I asked surprised

Jacob grimaced. "It's another one of the huge drawbacks of being a werewolf. Hearing each other's thoughts. Your most embarrassing, sickening and dirty thoughts, all laid out for everyone to see. It's the worst part about being a wolf, you have no privacy"

I listened in amazement. I could feel his anger and resentment. " Is it hard? To find yourself again?" I asked, hoping to calm him down.

"At first," he said. "It takes some practice to phase back and forth. But it's easier for me."

"Why?" I wondered.

"Because Ephraim Black was my father's grandfather, and Quil Ateara was my mother's grandfather."

"Quil?" I asked in confusion.

"His great-grandfather," Jacob clarified. "The Quil you know is my second cousin."

"But why does it matter who your great-grandfathers are?"

"Because Ephraim and Quil were in the last pack. Levi Uley was the third. It's in my blood on both sides. I never had a chance. Like Quil doesn't have a chance."

His expression was bleak.

"What's the very best part?" I asked, hoping to cheer him up.

"The best part," he said, suddenly smiling again, "is the speed."

"Better than the motorcycles?"

He nodded, enthusiastic. "There's no comparison."

"How fast can you… ?"

"Run?" he finished my question. "Fast enough. What can I measure it by? We caught… what was his name? Laurent? I imagine that means more to you than it would to someone else."

It did mean something to me. I couldn't imagine that—the wolves running faster than a vampire. When the Cullens ran, they all but turned invisible with speed. I felt immediately upset, and I knew he felt it through the imprint, I could feel his anger and attempt to cheer me up.

"So, tell me something I don't know," he said. "Something about vampires. How did you stand it, being around them? Didn't it creep you out?"

"No," I said curtly.

"Tell me something else. Give me something else to think about."

"What do you want to know?"

"I don't know." He had his eyes closed, concentrating. "The extra stuff I guess. Did any of the other Cullens have… extra talents? Like the mind reading?"

I hesitated a second. This felt like a question he would ask of his spy, not his friend. But what was the point of hiding what I knew? It didn't matter now, and it would help him control himself. So I spoke quickly, the image of Emily's ruined face in my mind, and the hair rising on my arms. I couldn't imagine how the russet wolf would fit inside the Rabbit—Jacob would tear the whole garage apart if he changed now. He looked a bit mad, despite the look he was giving me.

"Jasper could… sort of control the emotions of the people around him. Not in a bad way, just to calm someone down, that kind of thing. It would probably help Paul a lot," I added, teasing weakly. "And then Alice could see things that were going to happen. The future, you know, but not absolutely. The things she saw would change when someone changed the path they were on…"

Like how she'd seen me dying… and she'd seen me becoming one of them. Two things that had not happened. And one that never would. My head started to spin—I couldn't seem to pull in enough oxygen from the air. No lungs.

Jacob was entirely in control now, very still beside me.

"Why do you do that?" he asked. He tugged lightly at one of my arms, which was bound around my chest, and then gave up when it wouldn't come loose easily. I hadn't even realized I'd moved them. "You do that when you're upset. Why?"

"It hurts to think about them," I whispered. "It's like I can't breathe… like I'm breaking into pieces…"It was bizarre how much I could tell Jacob now. We had no more secrets. He smoothed my hair. "It's okay, Bella, it's okay. I won't bring it up again. I'm sorry."

"I'm fine." I gasped. "Happens all the time. Not your fault."

"We're a pretty messed-up pair, aren't we?" Jacob said. "Neither one of us can hold our shape together right."

"Pathetic," I agreed, still breathless.

"At least we have each other," he said, clearly comforted by the thought.

I was comforted, too. "At least there's that," I agreed.

I sighed reluctantly, and decided to ask him, what had been occupying my mind these two long days."Jacob, tell me, do you regret imprinting on me?"

He looked instantly shocked at my question. "Of course not Bells. Why would you think that?"

"I know you do" I said in a quiet voice.

"I don't!" he almost yelled. "It's the best thing that's happened to me since I became a werewolf. But I hadn't planned on things going this way. I wanted you to like me, out of your own choice. Not out of some freaky wolf claim. I wanted to do things differently. Smoother. But now… things have changed"

I was astonished at his words. So what Emily had said mirrored Jacob's words. So Emily was stating the truth. She was right. Jacob did love me. He really did want me to love him by my own will. I gawked at him. I deserved Jacob lesser than I already did now. How could I reject such a wonderful person? Jacob had been nothing but supportive and helpful, not to mention so patient with me. Any other person would've easily given up on me, but Jacob didn't. His persistence and kindness was beyond measure. He had been a very good friend to me. Emily was right yet again. Jacob cared a great deal about me, more than himself, even before the imprinting. Now, with the imprinting, he was willing to sacrifice his own life to save my miserable one. Justice never prevailed.

Wouldn't it be fair like Emily said, to give him a chance? How would it change things? I thought hard, it was only fair that Jacob got a chance. My Romeo was never going to come back, and Jacob… was Paris. Paris had offered to marry Juliet. It was more or less the same case with us, except Jacob and I were destined together. We were soul mates. What if? What was the right thing to do? I couldn't imagine my life without Jacob now—I cringed away from the idea of even trying to imagine that. Somehow, he'd become essential to my survival. I remembered wishing that Jacob were my brother. I realized now that all I really wanted was a claim on him. Safe. Jacob was a safe harbour.

I could stake a claim. I had that much within my power. I'd have to tell him everything, I knew that. It was the only way to be fair. I'd have to explain it right, so that he'd know I wasn't settling, that he was much too good for me. He already knew I was broken, that part wouldn't surprise him, but he'd need to know the extent of it. I'd even have to admit that I was crazy—explain about the voices I heard. He'd need to know everything before he made a decision. But, even as I recognized that necessity, I knew he would take me in spite of it all. He wouldn't even pause to think it through. I would have to commit to this—commit as much of me as there was left, every one of the broken pieces. It was the only way to be fair to him. Would I? Could I?

Would it be so wrong to try to make Jacob happy? Even if the love I felt for him was no more than a weak echo of what I was capable of, even if my heart was far away, wandering and grieving after my fickle Romeo, would it be so very wrong?

"What did you plan to do?" I asked quietly.

To my intense surprise, Jacob actually blushed. Underneath that russet skin, I could see the pink tints. It seemed a lot different from the last time he blushed, which was a year ago, during the - I refrained myself from thinking about it. What was the point? I was deciding to move along with Jacob, wasn't I? This reminded me of the fifteen year old Jacob. The sweet, gentle Jacob, who I had really grown to like, not the Jacob he was turning out be right now.

"Well, after we went to the movie that night, if I hadn't changed, I thought I would be patient and persistent, and you know, keep trying. Like you said, you liked me the best, so I wouldn't give up. I thought for a few weeks we could go on like this, and I could well… you know … start making my moves. I thought I would've achieved something by then, at least make you think about me that way. Well, I planned to ask you to my junior prom; after the prom I hoped to take a walk with you around the beach, hoping it's a starry night, and then… well ask you to look at the stars and then kiss you, see your shocked expression, then when you're still speechless, I'd kiss you again. After that, tell you that I love you" he said, trying to hide his gaze from my flabbergasted one.

I could see he was blushing hard. His hands were in his pockets and he gazed at the ground, smiling, yet embarrassed. I was speechless. Even as unlady like as I was, even I could tell that was romantic. So Jacob had everything planned out. He knew me well enough to anticipate my future reactions. It just depicted how predictable I was, and how little I knew Jake. I was disgusted with myself. How could I do this to someone who I claimed was my best friend? Someone who I really claimed cared about? Someone who I loved, though not in the same why he did, but yet I could do nothing for him? Who was I deceiving? I hardly knew anything about Jacob. He could complete my sentences and I couldn't even tell the name of his favourite car. I barely knew anything beyond his basic information.

"And then?" I questioned further. He blushed harder, shifting his position and fidgeting his hands. "Well... I didn't expect any answer from you right away. I would give you the time you needed, and I would give you one last kiss, say, 'that's something for you to think about Bells', and I'm sure I'd have to wait for a while. I wouldn't contact you and wait .Try to wait patiently, which I'm sure I couldn't. And when you accept, I would sneak in another kiss. After that, I'd ask to be my girlfriend. I'd go on about being the only sophomore having a senior for a girlfriend. I'm sure Quil would die of envy. I hoped you'd ask me to your graduation prom and by then, I hope our relationship would've progressed further in more than one way, if you know what I mean" he said, with a huge smile on his face.

He looked up at me, and I saw my Jacob. MY JACOB. The Jacob I loved. Underneath the imprint look, I could see my sunny Jacob, my personal sun. I couldn't help but smile back, and it was effortless. I realized how widely I was smiling. I had never smiled so happily in my life, even with _him_ around. Jacob apparently noticed this too. He looked amazed, but continued his smile, not wanting to spoil the moment. "Jake, that's... that's..." I began.

"BELLA! Ready to go? It's getting late!" called Charlie. I was startled at his call, and not to mention disappointed, and slightly annoyed. I wanted to talk to Jake a bit longer. We had loads of things to discuss and sort out. I sighed and reluctantly bid goodbye, and I could he was pleased at my reaction. Not because of the imprint, but _my Jacob_ was pleased, but at the same time, he didn't want me to go, anymore than I did. Every word Emily had said was true. So there was still hope. I could bring the old Jacob back. The Jacob I loved, the Jacob who was my best friend. I could prevent him from changing, into another version of Sam. I could still save him. I could keep Jacob happy, and I could stay happy too.

I felt myself happy and hopeful as I climbed into my truck and fastened the seat belt. So there was something for us to be optimistic about after all. I smiled as I drove into the starry night, into an anticipated future.


	7. Chapter 7

_Disclaimer: If I owned twilight, Bella would end up with Jacob, and not Edward. I am not SM, so obviously, I cannot own twilight. **As requested, I will update once a week, on Sundays. **I would like to thank all those reviewed. You have my heart filled gratitude. _

_I am still recovering, so I request you to overlook any grammatical errors_

_I hope this chapter meets your expectations, because I'm not that confident, for obvious reasons_

_Kindly review_

* * *

><p>Chapter 7 – Decision<p>

I lay on my bed, pondering in the darkness. I had to make a decision. Jacob... he had told me everything. The only thing left to do, was to make a decision. I could be happy with Jacob. It would make him happier, and help him concentrate better. He would have the satisfaction that I was there to comfort him. Billy was right, he needed my support. We were all going through a rough time. I needed to back him up the same way Emily backed Sam and the others. Things would be easier for all of us if I tried. But Edward...

I shifted my position. Wasn't I betraying him by doing this? Hanging out with his mortal enemies seemed _so wrong_. I had already told Jake about their special abilities; his whole pack would soon know. And the mind reading, it seemed so bizarre. I bet poor Jake had no privacy. I guess that's why his whole pack went wild when he constantly kept worrying about me. Poor Jake. He seemed to have gone through so much in this brief period of time. He was still a boy. Why did our lives become so intricate? Shouldn't I just give Jacob the contentment he deserved, even if it was just a little? He definitely needed me, and I needed him. Didn't he already state that we were a messed up pair, and that the only comfort we had, was each other? Then why was I holding back?

I turned to my right, and slept on my side. Jacob was my best friend. My soul mate. My imprinter. He had done way too much for me. Wasn't it fair that I do the same for him? I owed him at least that. He deserved the little happiness, compared to all that he had given me. His friendship, his warmth, his hospitality, his laughter, not to mention lots of time. He had invested a lot of time in keeping me happy, and preventing me from breaking. He had begun to heal me. I would stay in his debt forever.

I recalled the two weeks I spent without him. I shuddered, unable to imagine my life at this point without him. I would become an empty shell, and turn into the zombie again, and this time, it would be a lot worse. There would be no one to heal me or pick up the pieces. I would die.

Wouldn't it be the right thing to do if I make him happy? If do justice to Jacob, to reduce the injustice done to him? Wouldn't it lessen his burden? I'm sure Charlie would be happy, and so would Billy and Emily. I may have proclaimed that I wasn't going to choose what Jacob was going to be to me. But how long could stall this decision? One day he would come up and ask me to choose and relieve him from this torture. No, I couldn't do it. I would have to face him sooner or later. So Emily's right. I better make a choice, since I refused the other alternatives, the effortless ones. I would simply have to make Jake my brother, or my best friend. That would be the end of discussion. No questions, no tears, no name calling, except the fact that, Jake's heart would be shattered and ripped to millions of pieces, and I wouldn't see or hear his silent pain, because he couldn't show it to me. All I would see was his devoted and patronizing expression.

NO. I decided firmly. I wanted Jacob. My Jacob. The Jacob I love, and not some werewolf who was forced to love me. I wanted the sixteen year old happy boy, who had a crush on me, who was my best friend, who agreed to be patient and wait. The fact that he was willing to accept me as a damaged good, showed how much he really loved me. I wanted _that _love. Not the imprint love. I wanted us to be two normal teenagers falling in love, except, we weren't normal teenagers, especially when one's a teen wolf, and the other was a broken unconventional girl, who could hallucinate and hear her vampire ex- boyfriend's voice. Pathetic.

Jacob deserved to know everything. He needed to hear everything from me. He needed to hear the truth about me, the cold harsh truth that would hurt him, and he the fact that he would have to accept this truth before he accepted me, seemed more painful for him. He would have to believe my level of insanity. And yet, he deserved the truth and nothing else. If he would still accept me after all this, then, I would give my best in our relationship, just as he would.

I sighed heavily. I was exhausted, and I needed some sleep. So, it was it decided then. I would talk to Jacob tomorrow and sort things out. I would give him what he wanted. We would do things his way, with no changes. But in return, I wanted _my Jacob_ to do everything. The imprint should only make it more final, it shouldn't be the basis of our relationship. He would do all those things because he wants too, not because the imprint drives him to do it. _He_ would do it. The real Jacob should do all of it, not the sulking werewolf.

My friend, Jacob should be the one doing all those things. Things should be the same as it was earlier. I didn't want any changes, except the changes which would gradually occur in our relationship.

The next morning, I hurried to Emily's, who was busy making eggs. "Ah Bella, you're just in time" she said delighted, and scooped two eggs into the tray. They smelt fantastic. "I'm making breakfast. Sam's still getting ready and the boys will be here soon. Better hurry and take as many as you want, or you won't get your share" she said playfully. Though I had already hurriedly swallowed my breakfast, I had the urge to taste these eggs. I grabbed a plate, and she served them.

As I ate the delicious eggs, one by one, the boys came in, and I saw Jake. His face broke into delighted smile, when he saw me. I smiled back. "Eggs! Oh goody! I'm starving!" said Embry grabbing a plate. "Didn't you have any breakfast?" asked Emily, and shot him a look. "There's always room for your wonderful cooking" he replied cheerfully. Everyone laughed. Paul and Embry got into fight over whether scrambled eggs were better or not. It was really comical to watch.

I decided this was the best time to talk to Jake. "Hey Jake..." I began. "Hmm?" he asked, his face stuffed with eggs. "After you patrol, do you think I could talk to you? It's important. It might take sometime" I replied, carefully observing his reaction. The others were busy eating or laughing at Paul and Embry. Jacob looked tensed. "Something wrong?" he asked. I shook my head. "No. It's something we need to discuss, but it'll take long. So tell me when you're not too tired" I stated. "Sure" he replied, swallowing the eggs. When they boys took off, Emily looked expectantly at me. "So, Bella, what have you decided?" she asked, with a sparkle in her eye.

"I've decided to give Jacob a chance" I replied, quietly. Her face broke in a wide, happy smile, and her face lit up. "Thank you Bella. I'm sure Jacob will be very happy to hear it" she said, cheerfully. I couldn't help but smile back. "So, what made you reconsider?" she asked, inquisitively. "Well... what you said yesterday, and well... what happened at the party last night" I answered, hesitantly. She quirked up an eyebrow, questioningly. I briefly narrated my talk with Jacob in his garage, blushing hard at some parts. Emily clearly looked excited. "So... you're doing things his way? That's so romantic!" she squealed. I was startled at her enthusiasm.

She came closer to me, and held both my hands. "Bella, I'm so happy for you and Jacob. I wish you all the best. I'm sure he'll keep you happy" she said, sincerely. I looked at her scarred face and felt warmth radiating from her. Even though she wasn't a werewolf, her hands were warm. She made me feel confident about my decision. I was doing the right thing.

"So, how do you plan to break the news to him?" she inquired, with the same sparkle. I wavered, yet again. I didn't know how much I could tell her. "Well, I plan to tell him the truth, about Edward's -" I winced at the name, "and my relationship. There are certain things he needs to know. I wouldn't want to keep him in the dark. Since we're starting a new relationship, he needs to know everything" I said, my voice shaking. She nodded understandingly. She left me to my thoughts, and began cleaning her house.

I sat debating, on what exactly I would say to Jacob. I would have to convince him about my insanity. I still wondered whether he would accept me after hearing what I had to say. The fear of his anger, rejection and sadness, flooded through me. I would die if he abandoned me. But another, bigger part of my mind convinced me that he wouldn't. If he could wait and understand all that's happened so far, then this wouldn't be hard to understand either. But it would definitely hurt him. I sat fretting all morning about Jacob's response. I hardly ate anything. My heart jumped when it was lunch time. The boys came soon after. I tried breathing steadily.

_"This is for Jacob. He needs to know. He has a right to know" _I chanted mentally. I waited until the boys finished eating. "Are you alright Bella? You look kind of pale" said Jacob, carefully monitoring my every movement. I bet he could feel my anxiety through our imprint. "I'm fine" I stammered. The others noticed nothing unusual, and continued bickering over the food. Emily gave me encouraging glances and soothing arm rubs, every now and then, noticing my fear. Jake eyed me curiously. I couldn't even reassure him. I found it silly. This was Jake after all.

When it was time for them to resume patrolling, this time, Jared occupied the couch faster than Embry, who got into a fight with him. "You slept here for two days in a row. It's my turn! I'm exhausted man!" yelled Jared. "Ha! This couch is my territory! You can't sleep here!" argued Embry. "Quiet! Both of you, or I'll throw you both out! Neither of you get to sleep in your couch if I hear one more noise" ordered Sam. Both of them immediately shut their mouths, but glared at each other. Embry muttered curses and shuffled out of the door. "Now I have to walk all the way home. I'm going to pass out soon!" he complained.

"Serves you right, pig!" called Jared. "Silence!" ordered Sam, yet again, and Jared repositioned himself comfortably on the couch. Sam and Paul took off, and Jacob stretched, getting ready to go. Emily gave me an encouraging smile. "It'll be alright Bella. I'm sure he'll accept whatever you have to say to him" she whispered to me, when he was getting up to go. I nodded and followed him nervously. Once we were out of ear shot, he turned to me. "So, what did you want to talk to me about?" he asked. I sighed, feeling fidgety. "Can we sit somewhere, or would you like to rest first?" I asked. He shook his head.

"No. It can wait. Let's hear what you wanna say" he replied. We walked to the first beach, and he sat on our log. I stood indolently. It was the ideal place to do this. It was where we first met. Things would be perfect now. "Well? What did you want talk about?" he asked, yawning. "Well... it's about us actually" I said, trying to gather the right words. I stood hesitatingly. He looked surprised. "Well. What about us?" he questioned. I was at loss for words. I hadn't planned out what exactly I had to say. I had spent all night wondering where I should start, or what I should say, but I couldn't come up with anything much. May be I should've asked Emily for help earlier, it hadn't occurred to me then, and it was too late now. "Well, it's something which we've talked about earlier. I didn't think we'd talk about it anytime soon, but this time, it's different" I said, erratically.

"Bells, what on earth are you talking about? You're confusing me here" he stated, bewildered. I could see fatigue and blankness on his face, so I didn't expect him to understand right away. I drew in a deep breath. It was now or never. "Jacob, let's do it" I said. Before I could continue, I noticed that he stared at me with a dumbfunded expression on his face. "What?" he blurted out. "I mean, you've asked me earlier, and you know I couldn't, and well...let's give it a shot" I blurted out, not knowing what I was saying.

"I'm ready" I stated, swiftly. He stared at me as if I had suddenly grown three horns. "Bella, what are you talking about? When on earth have I pressurized you _for anything_? I've been patient, and when have I ever suggested _that_?" he emphasized on 'that' as if it was a bad thing. No, he looked terrified, when he mentioned it.

I was astonished at his reaction. "Why, you did. In the theatre that night" I replied. He furrowed his eyebrows in confusion. "When did I suggest that?" he questioned, thinking hard. "Why, right after Mike Newton said he felt sick, and we waited outside for him" I replied, surprised. How could he not remember? Did he alter his mind already? Had I hurt him enough to make him change his mind? I began having serious doubts about his reaction.

"When exactly?" he asked. "Right after you held my hand" I answered. Did he honestly not remember? "Uh... Bella, honey, when I held your hand, and what we discussed... what I actually meant was, that I wanted you to be my girlfriend" he said, looking embarrassed. I blinked, "That's exactly what I meant" I stated, baffled. Now, it was his turn to blink. "You mean... you want us to be a couple?" he asked, slowly, as if he had misunderstood. I nodded. "Yes, that's exactly what I meant" I replied, looking at his unreadable expression. "You mean... you're ready? You're ready to move on and accept me as your boyfriend?" he asked, still keeping the low pace. I continued nodding. What was the matter with him?

"Yes Jacob, what did you think?" I questioned, still confused. To my incomprehension, he blushed deep scarlet. "Jacob, what's wrong?" I asked, worried. He turned his face away, and continued blushing. I could feel the high level of embarrassment through our imprint. What had I said? "Jacob... tell me what did I say?" I pleaded. He cleared his throat, still blushing; he looked at the approaching waves. "Well, Bella, I kinda misunderstood what you said just then" he replied, almost mumbling. I narrowed my eyebrows in confusion. "What exactly did you misunderstand?" I demanded.

"When you said, _let's do it,_ I thought you meant something else" he replied, his voice trailing off, and he was blushing furiously. "What did you exactly think I wanted us to do?" I asked surprised. "I thought you meant you wanted us to do '_it' _" he answered, blushing even more furiously, if that were possible. His cheeks had turned to the shade of a tomato. Then, it dawned to me. I stared with my mouth wide open with a pop, in amazement and mortification. "_I thought you meant you wanted us to do 'it' "_ his voice lowered, when he said 'it'. Now, it was my turn to feel embarrassed.

I couldn't believe what Jacob had interpreted my declaration as. I couldn't believe that he thought I meant I was asking to him have... sex, with me. I winced at the word. The very thought of having sex with Jacob, hadn't even occurred to me. I had only thought of giving him a chance, but never dreamed that our relationship would go _that far_. I stood there, mortification washing over me like the high tide in the sea. I had to fix this gauche moment. "Uh... no Jake, what I meant was, I'd like to give our relationship a try" I said, gulping. "I'm...I'm sorry, you mis... mis...understood. I didn't mean that" I stammered.

He chuckled. "I thought so. When you said, let's do it, I thought... well, I thought I must be dreaming or something. Hell, you weren't even ready to let me hold your hand, and here you were, asking me to..." he paused. "So I asked for a clarification Bells. I'm sorry I misunderstood" he said, in an amused voice. But I could feel the flicker of emotions. I felt the bitterness in his heart. I sat next to him. "I'm sorry about that day Jake. I wasn't ready yet. I told you not to expect more" I said, apologetically. "But now I am prepared. Let's give it a try; what do we have to lose?"

He turned to look at me, and his expression made my heart melt. He was beaming; looking elated, and had such a huge smile on his face, which had _my Jacobness _written all over it. I felt upset that I might crush his high hopes. His emotions hit me hard. I could feel hope, excitement, elation, contentment and most of all happiness. Sere happiness sweltering from him. _My Jacob_ was finally happy. I was giving him what he wanted. "Really Bells? You're gonna give me a chance? We're going to be a couple?" he asked joyfully, still beaming. I couldn't help but smile back cheerfully at him. I felt light and content for a moment.

He beamed again, accepting my response. "What made you change your mind?" he asked, sounding curious, yet elated. I opened my mouth to answer, when he intercepted. "It's not because of the imprint is it?" he asked out of the blue. His expression faltered, and he instantly appeared shattered. "Bella you don't have to force yourself to..." he began.

"Jake" I protested.

"Look, I can handle the imprinting thing okay?"

"Jake-"

"I'll try to fight it okay? You don't have to feel obligated in anyway"

"But Jake –"

"You don't have to date me out of pity; I can deal with it myself!"

"JAKE!"

"I CAN DEAL WITH THE DAMN IMPRINT OKAY? I'VE DONE IT ONCE, I'LL DO IT AGAIN! I CAN FIGHT THE IMPRINT FOR YOU BELLA!"

"JAKE! SHUT UP!" I shouted. He instantly shut his mouth, and I at once regretted saying it. I had just ordered him. I was horrified at what I had done.

"I'm sorry, Jake, I didn't mean to. Really, I..."

"It's okay Bella. It's not your fault, I was the one who imprinted on you" he replied sourly.

"Stop blaming yourself Jake! It's not your fault that you imprinted! So stop blaming yourself!" I yelled angrily. "None of this is your fault. No one's to blame!"

He remained silent. "And I'm not accepting you because of our imprint" I stated. He looked up at me astounded. "You're not?" he asked. "No. It's because I want to, not because I have to silly! You didn't let me finish!" I replied, defiantly. "Then why?" he questioned, genuinely curious. "Two weeks ago, you wouldn't even let me hold your hand, and you said you weren't going to change. Why would you change your mind now?" he asked incredulously. I could tell that he was livid and hurt. Everything was going so perfectly a minute ago. "You did silly" I replied, trying to calm him down. "Me?" he asked dubiously.

"Yes you. Jacob, when I didn't see you for two weeks, I realized how exactly my life would be without you. I need you Jacob, I really do. The days you weren't around, were the darkest days of my life. You wouldn't believe how it was for me, without you to support and comfort me, when I was haunted by dreams of Victoria and Laurent coming to kill me. I had the worst nightmares, which I've never had in my life in those two weeks. I was scared to death" I stated, trembling as I recalled those sinister and unpleasant days.

"I longed for your smile and warmth. And most of all, _I missed you Jacob._ You weren't there at all. I lived every day like it was my last. I prayed constantly, hoping that she would leave Charlie alone and just finish me. If you had just given me the reassurance and your warm smile, everything would've been so much better" I said, looking at his beautiful face.

He was hiding his gaze from mine, and looking out at the sea. "I lived each day like a nightmare. How I managed to live a fortnight without dying of panic, is still a mystery to me. I was glad that you stayed away from me, so that you wouldn't get caught into all of this. And after hearing about the imprinting, and your struggle to fight for me, Jacob, how could I not give you a chance? You've done so much for me, and yet I can't do anything to make it better for you" I said sadly. He snorted. "So you're going to date me, only to repay me, and for your own comfort, and most of all, out of pity then. How is it different Bella?" he insisted furiously.

"Would you let me finish?" I demanded. He quietened down immediately. I did it again. I was disgusted with myself. What was I doing? Instead of making things better, I was making them worse. "I'm sorry Jacob, would you listen to me and let me finish? This is a request and not an order" I said, calmly. He still wouldn't look at me. "Yesterday, I had a conversation with Emily. She told me her story. About Sam, herself and Leah, how they were really hurt through this imprinting" I said, looking at the waves. I paused. "It made me realize, how lucky I was, not to have any of the complications she did. Jake, I'm very glad that I have you in my life, the very thought of you not being there…" said, the last line shuddering.

"I couldn't bear that Jake. I can't imagine how my life would be without you. Your warmth, your happy smiles, your jokes and most of all, your friendship Jake. I couldn't bear to lose that, and I can't afford to lose you. You brought me back… when I wasn't myself. It's bad enough that he's gone, and now when you're gone… how would I deal with it Jake?" I choked.

I realized that tears were flowing down my cheeks. "I need you, Jake. I'd die without you. I've already died once, and this time, I doubt I can handle it if you leave". Jacob looked at me with depressing eyes. His emotions instantaneously changed. "Aw, don't cry honey, I'm not going anywhere. I'll never leave you. I'll stick around till you get tired of me, like I promised. You can't get rid of me if you tried" he said, pulling me into a warm hug, which I gladly returned. I cried hard on his chest, letting the tears flow.

"I missed you Jake" I said, placing my head on his broad chest. My hands went automatically around his neck. "I missed you too Bells" he replied, placing his chin above my head and stroking my hair. How long had it been since I felt such comfort? Too much had happened in this brief period of two weeks. I wish all this would get over soon, so that we could go back to being Jacob and Bella again. Things would go back to normal. I wanted my Jacob back. I wanted Jacob to have his old life back. I wanted to help him build cars in his garage, and ride our bikes again.

We stayed like that for some time. This contact was very soothing. "We should probably go inside. You need some rest" I said, looking at his drained face. I grasped his giant into my small one. He looked enthralled at my gesture. We walked hand in hand back to his home, and this time, I didn't mind the contact. It didn't have a brotherly feeling now; it seemed familiar and relaxing to have his hand around mine. Billy wasn't at home today. Both of us collapsed on the couch to talk, but instead, Jake fell asleep. I yawned too. I had slept barely three hours last night. My eyelids flickered, and I was soon drifting off into a deep slumber.

When I woke up, Jacob was fast asleep on my shoulder. I glanced at the clock. He still had some time to sleep before patrol. I should've waited longer and told him. I blushed furiously, when I recalled what happened an hour or so ago. The fact that Jake had misinterpreted my words, into something else so... so erotic, was actually mortifying. I instantly felt uncomfortable having him on my shoulder right now. He snored, making me jump. I wanted to move away right now, and let him sleep on the couch, but he was really heavy. I slowly tried to reposition myself, so that I could get up, and I succeeded, without waking him up.

I gently put a pillow under his head and made sure that he was comfortable. I made some coffee for myself and sat down, on the chair. As I sipped the coffee, I stared at his sleeping figure. He looked so serene, when he was like this. I still found it hard to wrap the idea around my head that he would shift into a giant wolf. It seemed that even fairy tales could come true in my case. I sighed. I had been sighing a lot lately. I began estimating as to how I would explain my feelings to Jacob. The current situation I was in didn't seem very explicable. But I had to do it somehow.

When he dropped me off at Emily's, she rushed up to me. "How did it go, what did he say?" she demanded. I couldn't exactly explain what happened this afternoon, especially the 'misinterpreting' part. She pulled me down on the couch and made me sit next to her. "Jared's gone, and Sam's not here, so it's okay, tell me" she urged. I briefly narrated this afternoon's events, excluding the 'it' part. Emily listened without interrupting. Her scarred face clearly showed a hint of worry. When, I was finished, she gazed into my eyes.

"Bella, I think you have a lot to discuss with Jacob, and not just the dating part" she stated gravely. "I know" I agreed. "There's a lot to sort out. There's been a misunderstanding". She nodded. "Emily, I need your help, please. I don't know what to do. He doesn't know much he means to me, and how much it would hurt me, to lose him. He thinks the only reason I'm saying all this was because of the imprint" I said, sobbing. Emily pulled me into a warm hug. "It's alright Bella; I'll help you sort this out. We'll do this together" she assured.

I sobbed into her comforting arms. Emily was probably the only one who understood me. I sniffed and let her make me some tea. I felt comforted, knowing that, I at least had her for help.

That evening, when the boys came back, I waited impatiently for them for finish their tea, so that I could talk to Jacob. I knew he felt my conflict of emotions, since they were strong, and I felt the anticipation and heavy emotions he was feeling right now. He nodded, when I glanced at him. So he was ready to talk then. I noticed that the pack was behaving outlandishly customary around us. I was sure that Jacob would've thought about this afternoon's events, while patrolling and the pack would've definitely stated their opinion. But apparently, they didn't notice the tension between us. They seemed oblivious to our non-verbal conversation.

I caught the look on Sam's face. He was giving me the look that explained it all. Comprehension flickered across my face. So Sam had ordered the pack to keep their mouths shut about the matter, and let Jake handle it. Jacob and Emily were right; Sam was a really wonderful person. I gave him a thankful glance, which he returned with an understanding nod. Emily was really lucky to have him. I felt grateful to him for all this. He really did want things to work out between us, just like Emily did.

After tea, Embry and Jared began bickering again, on who should sleep on the couch this time. "Hey! I had to _walk home all the way_. Its miles from here!" exclaimed Embry. "I was lucky that I didn't pass out!"

"Serves you right, Call! You're a stingy pig!" shot back Jared.

"Me? You're the stingy one! You owe me fifteen dollars Cameron! Remember our bet?" retorted Embry.

"Hah! I'll give it to you tomorrow! The couch is mine!"

"No way! Either give the cash now, or go home!"

"How the hell do you expect me to have it now?" he demanded incredulously. "I've been patrolling, for God's sake! I don't run around with cash in my pants! Hell, I can't even guarantee that I'll get my pants back! "

Everyone chortled at his words. I noticed that everyone was enjoying the scene, even Sam. He hadn't attempted to even stop them. We all watched with amused grins on our faces. I was surprised at how effortless it was. It seemed so natural.

"I know that! I'm not an idiot! I was right there with you! Go home and get it!" mocked Embry.

"Are you insane? You expect me to go all the way home to get just fifteen dollars, and walk back _all the way_ back just to give it you? You must be crazy! I'm dog tired! I can barely move a muscle!"

"Then go home and sleep on your precious Kim's lap! This couch _is mine_!"

"Hah! In your dreams!"

"It's like they're fighting over a girl, not a couch" said Paul sniggering. "I know, they're acting like a bunch of old women" agreed Jacob, snickering. I giggled. I was surprised that this wasn't a conscious endeavour. But unfortunately, the fight ended too soon, much to Jake's and Paul's disappointment, as they had bets on who would win. The verdict was in Embry's favour. As soon as, Sam ordered them to shut their 'oh so loud mouths' as Paul called it, Embry took the opportunity to jump on the couch. Jared attempted to haul him down. Paul and Jake hooted encouragingly. Emily and I stood chuckling.

Sam maintained silence, waiting to see how far this would go. I noticed that he was clearly amused, and was enjoying himself as much the other two. Jared finally managed to drag Embry down, who gave him a couple of kicks. Jacob and Paul hooted and encouraged their respective friends. Sam thought it went too far, and with his command, both scrambled up from the ground, where they were wrestling. Embry threw himself at the couch. Jared cussed at him and almost threatened to tear his leg off. Paul and Jacob were bad enough to encourage him.

They promised to settle the accounts the next time the other two fought, as it was a draw. When I left Emily's home, I was all smiles, much to my astonishment. I hadn't enjoyed myself this much in a very long time. "Did you see the way Jared dragged Embry? I thought he would rip his pants off! Poor Embry would have to walk home naked!" exclaimed Jacob, chortling. I laughed loudly. I noticed the shock on his face. "Bella, you're laughing" he said slowly. Then his expression altered to genuine gladness. "I've haven't heard you laugh so loudly since we've known each other" he stated, dazed, and clearly in disbelief. He must've thought that he was dreaming.

I gazed back, still feeling light from all that laughing and giggling. "I guess you're right" I said in a small voice. "Glad to see you happy Bells" he said warmly. Now this was _my Jacob_ talking. "We need to talk" I stated. He nodded. "I know. Let's go" he said, and we wandered off to the first beach again. We sat on our log. Before I opened my mouth to speak, Jacob beat me to it. "Can I say something first?" he asked. I nodded. "I'm sorry. I acted like a total idiot. I shouldn't have said all those things. I hurt you. I should've given you a chance to talk, instead of butting in like an emotion-crazed freak" he apologized. I perceived that he really meant it.

"It's okay Jacob. I understand. I know that you're going through a tough time. With Victoria, the werewolf thing, and our imprint... I don't blame you. Don't be sorry. It's not your fault" I comforted, giving his hand a squeeze. "Thanks Bells. I hope you aren't too mad" he said, gazing at me. "I could never be mad at you Jake" I said, rolling my eyes. He grinned. "Glad to hear it" he said, pleased. "Right, so you were saying" his tone changed. I took in two deep breaths. I would say what I had to, just like I had discussed with Emily.

"Jacob, there's something I have to confess. There's something you have to know. I want you to listen carefully, and whatever you decide after that, I'll accept it. Since we're starting a new relationship, you deserve to know the truth" I said, confidently. He looked mystified. "But you have to listen without interrupting. After I finish, you are free to say what you like. Can you do that?" I asked. He nodded.

"Jacob, before I met you, I mean when I came to you with the motorcycles, I was a wreck. You saw how I was when I came to meet you. For four months, I was a zombie. I lived my life mechanically. I got perfect grades; I never missed a day of work or school. I was the perfect student, but I was dead inside. I barely spoke to any of my friends, Charlie or Mom either. Then, one day, Charlie threatened to send me home, back to Mom in Jacksonville. I began arguing with him, and he suggested that I needed professional help" I said, trying to swallow the big lump that was forming in my throat. This seemed to happen too often. Jacob rubbed my shoulder. I felt his strong sympathy drifting towards me. The imprint proved to have its advantages, as I instantly felt comforted.

"I wanted to stay in Forks. I had no intention of leaving. You could say that I was... I was still hoping that he would come back. In order to keep Charlie from sending me to Mom, and to keep up the facade, I tried to make him happy. I went to a movie with Jessica in Port Angeles. There, I saw some people at the bar, who looked like someone who tried to attack me last year, when I went shopping with some friends. That's when I heard_ his_ voice. He was asking me to turn around, and go back. For a moment, I thought that he was really there" I said choking.

"But I realized, he wasn't anywhere near me. I came to the conclusion that I was insane. Every time I took a step closer to the bar, his voice would get louder, and he would warn me to go back. Then, I recalled his last words" I continued, turning to look at the setting sun. I couldn't face him while narrating the rest. I was choking hard on air, this was getting painful. I felt unexpected shock ripple through me. I didn't understand why I felt so, but then, I realized that it was Jacob. I was feeling his strong emotion through our imprint. The mention of Edward's name must've really made him uneasy.

"He had requested me not do anything reckless and stupid. Then, I got the bikes, in an attempt to do something reckless, with a strong hope to hear his voice again. And every time, I heard his voice, while riding bikes, or facing any sort of danger. I made a resolution to start doing dangerous things... that's why I asked you to take me cliff diving" I said, gulping. The lump only grew bigger, and my vision began blurring. I felt shock tearing through my body making me tremulous.

I felt Jacob's frozen stature next to me. I had the urge to continue, but the huge lump prevented it. I gathered up all my courage, and dared to look at him. As far as I knew, Jake had a pretty firm control on his temper. Most of the time at least, much better than the other wolves. But I also knew that after this, I couldn't count on him to maintain his excellent self control. I wouldn't be surprised if he told me to go away and wishing that he had never met me. There was a part me, a weak part, a desperate part, that feared his response. But, there was another part of me, the selfish part, which knew that he would never say such a thing.

Jacob's lips were pressed together and I saw his feeble attempts, to keep it together. He began to shake violently, and began muttering to himself to stay calm. I sat frozen, in anticipation, for his response, irrespective of what it may be. When his shaking increased, I heard him breathing hard and loud noises escaped his lips. I saw his internal struggle to stay in control. The anger was clearly reflected on his face. The log began to quaver too. He suddenly got up and strode away from me, at a pace which I sure I couldn't catch up to, even if I ran. He disappeared out of my sight in a matter of seconds.

So it wasn't safe for me to stay around him right now. I was surprised that he didn't yell at me. May be he would do that, when he gained better control of himself. I sat, gazing at the sunset and the waves, waiting for him to return, dreading the worst. My strong emotions, was overpowered by Jacob's powerful and conflicting emotions, causing tremors to rock through my body. I felt the tough battle of his emotions. His emotions were so powerful that, I could barely sit on the log and keep it together. I was engulfed into his vast ocean of sentiments, and I wanted it to stop, as the sensations over body became unbearable.

He finally came back, looking grim. I stood up, quivering. Before I could utter a word, he held his hand up. "No Bella, you promised that I was allowed to say what I wanted after you finished. It's my turn to talk" he said, gravely. Before I could protest, I noticed his venomous glance. Jacob had never looked at me that way before. Not before the imprint or even after, if it was possible to give me any other look than the devoted one.

"So all this while, you hung out with me, just to hear_ his_ voice? The reason you brought those bikes to me was because you wanted to hear _him_?" he demanded incredulously. He spat when he said, 'his' and 'him', as if they were cuss words. I could only nod in shame. "Well, why else would you want to hang out with me? Silly me, I would do everything you asked. I would help you do every reckless thing you wanted" he said bitterly. "I'd do them with you happily, thinking that how happy it would make you!"

"So, you used me. You used me to hear _his _voice" he continued derisively. Tears began falling down my cheeks.

"I can't deny that Jake. It was like that at first" I stated. "But…"

"But what Bella?" he demanded. "I began understand too much didn't I? I understood_ everything didn't I?_" he mocked. I couldn't face his accusations. I stared at the ground, allowing the tears to flow. "I became your shoulder to cry on didn't I? Let's face it Bella, you never wanted to hang out with me. You just used me. And here I was, thinking that you loved spending time with me"

Those words felt like a punch in the gut. More tears flowed, but I instantly blinked them away, and looked up. "That's not true Jacob. I didn't pretend that I like spending with you! I really did! You kept me whole Jacob! You kept me from breaking! I never lied about spending time with you! If you weren't there, I don't know what I would've done!"

"Is that so? Then tell me this Bella, did you ever think what would've happen to Charlie and Renee while you were doing all those reckless things? Did it ever occur to you how they would feel if something happened to you?" he demanded, livid. I felt as though I was being ripped to pieces by his words. His doubtful, shocked, impaired and bruised expressions tore me apart layer by layer. I didn't reply. "Really Bella, what _were_ _you thinking_? Is he worth all this effort?"he continued. "Do you think he really even cares about you now? Would it even make a difference to him that you're trying so hard to keep so close?"

I began to sob. "Let's face it Bella, it'll always be about him. It always was, and has always been, and will always be about _him_" he hissed venomously. "Let's face it Bella, it's never going to work between us, you're always thinking about him. There's no hope Bella. He's messed you big time" he said, sadly, and I could feel the rush of emotions through our imprint. My sobs broke out into loud wails, and began crying hysterically.

I deserved all of this. I deserved every cruel word he said. But I felt expression alter instantly. He looked shocked at himself. "I'm sorry Bella! I didn't mean to make you cry!" he apologized. Jake cursed as he pushed his hands through his hair in frustration. He suddenly enveloped me into his arms. I felt the change in his emotion, from fury to agony.

The agony was felt for me. I sobbed in his chest, and choked apologies, whenever I could. He silenced me and rubbed my shoulder and I soon felt comforted. "I'm being a jerk, aren't I?" he asked. I shook my head. "No. You're right. I deserved all those words." I objected. "I deserved every word. Jacob, you're right! What was I thinking? How could I have been so foolish? I didn't even think about Charlie and Renee. They couldn't handle it if anything happened to me"

He stroked my head and gently comforted me. "I'm pathetic aren't I?" I asked. "I'm stupid too" "No you're not. It's not your fault" he defended. "It's that stupid bloodsucker's fault. He's messed with your head so badly. He screwed you up" he said, snarling. "I'll never forgive him. I'll never forgive him for what he did to you" he vowed. That made more tears trickle down my cheeks.

He hugged me tightly, and placed his chin above my head, like he always did. "It's okay Bella, I'm here now. I'll never leave you. I promise" he said in his soothing voice. This was _my Jacob's _voice. I snuggled closer in his warm chest. I missed my Jacob. He was being replaced by some testosterone filled werewolf, with anger issues, not mention; he was turning out to be like Sam. The Jacob I knew wouldn't lose his temper with me like this. Being a werewolf probably had something to do with it.

"I miss you Jacob" I said, in a muffled voice. "I'm right here, honey. I'm not going anywhere" he reassured. I looked up at his face, with tear stricken eyes. I saw his pain, and my pain, reflected on his miserable face. That disappointed and hurt me, and not to mention added a lot more to my already outsized guilty conscience. "No, Jacob. _I miss you_. I miss _my friend Jacob_. The Jacob who would make me laugh with his jokes, and reassure me with his sunny smiles. I miss_ that_ Jacob. You're turning into some other Jacob. The Jacob Sam has turned you into, and I don't like him very much" I elaborated.

For the first time, I saw a guilty expression on his handsome face. He sighed, and debated with himself. "I guess you're right. Things haven't been easy you know" he admitted. "And Sam and the others have been there for me. Like I said yesterday, it's really hard to find yourself at first. But I keep trying. I don't like who I'm turning out to be either. I'll try harder to be like the old me, but it's not that simple. I'll try okay? I'll try for you". I comprehended his explanation, and felt sorry for him. Poor Jacob. He had a lot more to deal with than I thought. But I didn't want him to force himself yet again for me.

I shook my head. "No Jake, I don't want you to try for me, because you _have to_, but because you _want to_. There's a difference. I know it must be hard to find yourself. I'm just like you. I'm trying too" I revealed. "After he left, I couldn't find myself. I didn't know who I was anymore. Then, you came along, and I - I felt whole again. I felt happy; all my pain was gone when I was with you. You healed me Jake, and that's why I couldn't do without you. When you weren't there for those few weeks… it was like zombie Bella all over again". Jacob looked at me, with pure anguish in his eyes. His grip tightened around me. "I'm sorry Bella" he said, in a quiet voice, and I could hear the sincerity in it.

This was the best time to do it then. I pulled away from his embrace and looked straight into his lovely black eyes. "Jacob, I think it's about time I decided, what I want you to be" I said confidently. I could see and feel the expectation Jacob was experiencing. "Let's give it a shot Jake" I said, self-assuredly. This time, I saw him smile. "So, you're really willing to give it a shot?" he confirmed. I nodded, smiling. "But, I have a condition" I stated.

"What's that?"

"Let's do things your way"

He looked puzzled. "My way? What do you mean Bella?"

I drew in another deep breath. "You wanted me to love for you, right? Not because of the imprint?" I questioned. He nodded, still confounded.

"So, let's do things your way then. You wanted me to fall in love with the Jacob you really are. Underneath that russet werewolf, is Jacob Black right? Who is my friend. I'm not saying we start dating right away, I'm saying you do what you planned to do. We remain Jake and Bella. Everything goes according to plan"

He looked perplexed. "But Bells, how is that possible?" he asked. "I'm confused".

I smiled. "Remember what you told me in the garage yesterday?" I questioned. "Like how you planned to ask me out, and to be your girlfriend and stuff?".He nodded. "Well, I think there's still hope for you to try all that" I continued smiling broadly.

"But how is that possible with this entire werewolf thing and not to mention the imprinting…"

"It's possible Jake. We go back to being who were earlier. Jacob and Bella, except, we accept certain details about each other. Like what I told you today, and what you told me about you being a werewolf. Nothing changes. We go back to being normal. We can act as though none of this happened. We can start from where we left off. From the day after the movie. We start afresh, and you can do exactly what you had planned to do. We can go doing what were doing earlier, building cars, riding bikes, hiking… it'll all be the same, until you start making your… er… moves and I'll well… react appropriately" I explained.

His expression varied during my speech, and finally, he let out a laugh. "Bella, what's the point of making my moves, when you know I'm gonna make them? How can we go back to being the same when you know what we're going to do? I mean you're willing to give me a chance. How would that work out knowing that I'm going to hit on you and make my moves? It'll be like some kind of a role play, and we'll know what's going to happen next. How would it be real, when we know what the other ones going to do?" he asked, sensibly.

I smiled. "Er… Jake, remember what you told me about making your moves? You didn't exactly elaborate what they were, so how would I know? And I didn't know when you were planning to start making your…er… moves. I would be oblivious even now, even then." I elucidated. "I knew you like me, even then. So it wouldn't be that different. When you told me that you planned to ask me to the prom, I didn't know even then, how exactly you would ask me, and when exactly you would ask me. I don't even know when your prom is! As for knowing that you would ask me to the prom… Jake, even I'm sure you would've dropped some hints before you asked me. Even without knowing what exactly you were planning, I would get what you're indicating, I wouldn't be that dumb"

He chuckled at the last bit. "So, we'd be okay then?" he asked unsure. I nodded. "We let things take their natural course. You do what you want to, as planned, and we gradually get to know each other" I stated. He smiled delighted. "But Bells, don't we already know each other? What more is there left to know?" he asked, curious. "There's lots left for us to discover about each other Jake. You may be able to read me like an open book, but I can't. I want to do the same for you Jake. I want to know all about you, the same way you know everything about me. But there are many things we still don't know about each other, which we are yet to discover" I replied, sagaciously.

"Like what?"

"Wait and find out" I replied, winking at him. He laughed. "Oh Bells… you really are a real character like Jared says" he commented. I immediately felt offended. "What do you mean?" I demanded. He chuckled. "Relax Bells, I'm just saying this was unexpected" he clarified, still grinning.

"Oh. Well then, do you approve?" I asked, anxiously. Jacob was deep in thought for a minute, and his expression looked very calculating. He seemed to be reconsidering all that I said. I almost feared that he might not like the idea. Then, his face broke into a wide smile. "Sure Bells, why not? I love the idea, why don't we give it a try?" he said, with a twinkle in his eye. I sighed in relief, and my silly fears were washed away. He was just fooling around.

"So, you're saying we could work this out?" he further questioned.

"Yes. We can, I'll try. We'll both try"

"But… what if it doesn't work out?" he asked diffidently.

"Then we'll try again. Besides, we have forever"

"That's true" he agreed.

"So, do you accept?" I asked.

"Sure I do"

I sighed in relief. But there are still some things to illuminate. "Jacob, before we try this, I want to ask you something. Can you forgive me after all I've said and done to you? Can you forgive me, considering the fact that I used you to hear _his_ voice, and that I've hurt you too much? And not to mention that I'm insane"

"Of course I forgive you Bells. I could never be mad at you for too long. You're not insane, just messed up. But let me ask you something, do you forgive me?"

I looked surprised. "Forgive you for what?"

"I yelled at you and well, I was too harsh. I didn't mean to make you cry. I hurt your feelings too"

"No, I deserved it, like I already said" I argued. "And Jake, I love spending time with you. You're my best friend, you know that" I added.

"Thanks Bells. And I wanna apologize for something else too. I'm sorry about the imprint too. I mean, I didn't wanna drag you into all this Bells. I wanted to win your heart, the way I had planned earlier. The normal way, the real way" he said, awkwardly. He ran his hand through his hair again.

"Jake, don't apologize. I don't feel compelled in anyway. And I didn't suggest this, just because of the imprint. I suggested it because I really wanted to do this"

He looked over the moon when I said this. I could help but feel the pleasure. "But Bells, what's the real reason? I mean, what made you reconsider?"

"Well… it's something that Emily said" I stated, much to his bewilderment. "I really got to know her well these three days. We became friends, you know, both of us being wolf girls now" I said, with a little laugh. "We got talking, and well, it's her something in her words that got me thinking"

"And what's that?"

"She said that she didn't have the time to work on her relationship with Sam. But thankfully, things worked out. But she said it could've happened otherwise too. And that you and I had all the time in the world to figure it out, which she didn't have, and neither do we have the complications that she had. That had me thinking Jake. I felt culpable, for not considering all that she told me. She was absolutely right. And that's not all… it's something you said too"

"What did I say?" he inquired, curiously.

"Actually, it's everything you said. It matched the exact words Emily told me. You both told me the exact same things, which shows that you really meant it, and it was the truth"

"Well… what exactly did Emily say, and what exactly did I say?" he pressed. I could tell he was getting impatient.

"That you wanted me to love you for who you are, besides the imprint" I stated, my voice lowering, I breathed, moving closer to him and gazing into his exquisite irises. "And…" I began.

"Yes?" he breathed.

"That you really love me, and not just because of the imprint" I continued. There were only a few inches of space between our faces.

He let out a heavy sigh. I experience relief wash over me. This was what Jacob was feeling right now. "And I want to love you back the same way Jacob" I murmured. We stood there, like that, gazing into each other's eyes.

"Bella… I… I…" began Jake, and stopped abruptly. For the first time, he didn't have any words to say. He finally let out a warm breath, feeling the harmony within him, which finally made me feel content. "Thank you" he whispered.

"You're welcome Jake"

"But before we do this, I want you to promise me something" he said, suddenly turning staid.

"What?"

"Promise me that you'll never do anything stupid. Promise me that you'll never even think of doing anything dangerous, not matter what happens. Can promise me that?" he said, his eyes boring into mine. "Think of Charlie, Renee and most of all, me. I would die if anything happened to you, and I mean literally. Not just because of the imprint"

How could I deny him now? He was being reasonable, and he stated facts. I hadn't thought about Charlie and Renee at all. And Jacob… I knew what he meant when he said that he would die, if something happened to me. It would be same for me. "I promise"

"Good. That's all"

"But Jake, you have to promise something in return too"

"Anything"

"Promise me that'll you be _my Jacob_. You'll be my friend Jacob. Promise me that you'll never change and you'll try to be yourself again?'

"I promise Bells. I'll try"

"And Jake, one more thing"

"Yes?"

"Promise me that, if this doesn't work out, you'll… you'll still be my friend"

"I promise Bells. I'll always be that. No matter what" he assured. That seemed very heartening. "And you'll promise to be my Bells?" he asked.

"I promise Jake" I assured him back. This was how it was supposed to be. We could rely on each other from now on. Things wouldn't have to change. The imprint wouldn't change anything. Things would go back to normal again, now that Jacob had accepted me, and I had accepted him, things would be easier for both of us from now on. His arms wrapped around my waist, and I wrapped my hand around his neck.

We stood there in each other's comforting embrace, as the beautiful sun, reached its horizon.


	8. Chapter 8

_Disclaimer: If I owned twilight, do you think I would put Jake through all that torture? He's too lovable. So, I'm not SM, and I don't own twilight. **I have an important announcement to make. I have received the results of my board exams, and I will be very busy this week, and hence, I posting this chapter in advance. I may get back to my regular schedule after all the process of admission is done. So kindly bear with me. I'm fully recovered, and will be back in action, next week. I hope you guys aren't too mad. A big thank you to all my lovely readers, for your awesome reviews, I really appreciate them. **As usual, things you need to know about this chapter:_

_I have given the distinctive traits to three characters. _

_These characters aren't very prominent in SM's twilight saga, but are important in my story, for various and obvious reasons._

_I have made up the name, and surname of one of the characters, which you will know, after reading this chapter._

_If anyone knows the real name and surname, kindly PM me._

_I hope this chapter meets your expectations_

_This chapter may confuse you, and all the questions of this chapter, will be answered in the next one._

_Kindly review_

* * *

><p>Chapter 8 – Melancholy<p>

Jacob was fast asleep in his room. I was busy making dinner for him and Billy, who was at the Clearwaters. I was worried that Jake might not get enough sleep after our conversation. I was surprisingly in a calm mood, which I hadn't felt in months. My conversation with Jacob had done us both good. After making my confession, my guilt reduced, at least a little bit. I was still blameworthy for many things. I waited as the water boiled. I didn't understand the rationale for my slightly ecstatic mood. I realized that it was Jacob's emotion, reflecting on mine. But he was currently fast asleep, so did it mean that he was happy even while resting? That thought gave me instant relief. He was finally happy. I recalled our conversation after our warm embrace.

"Jake, will you tell the pack about our idea?" I asked.

"Well, it's not like I have a choice Bells. I wouldn't be able to control my thoughts" he replied, surreptitiously.

"Is it bad? The mind reading I mean?"

"Yeah. It's awful. No privacy, no secrets. Everything you're ashamed of, laid out for everyone to see." He said, shuddering.

"It sounds horrible," I whispered.

"Yeah it is. But wasn't it like that for you all the time? Having him in your head?" he asked suddenly, and instantly regretted it. "I'm sorry I...shouldn't brought that up" he muttered apologetically. I swallowed once, and let out a deep breath.

"It's alright Jake" I mumbled. It took me a few moments to recover. "Oh, no. Edward was never in my head. He only wishes."

Jacob's expression became confused.

"He couldn't hear me," I explained, my voice a tiny bit smug from old habit. "I'm the only one like that, for him. I don't know why he couldn't. Even he didn't know why"

"Weird," Jacob said.

"Yeah." I whispered "It probably means there's something wrong with my brain," I admitted.

"I already knew there was something wrong with your brain," Jacob muttered.

"Thanks."

He looked puzzled, but composed himself hastily. "But actually, it is sometimes helpful when we need to coordinate," he stated. "When some bloodsucker crosses into our territory. Laurent was fun. I really enjoyed ripping him apart"

I recalled lethal face. I shuddered at the thought of Jacob or of the any others getting hurt. "Jake! You could've gotten injured!" I exclaimed horrified.

He chuckled. "You worry too much Bells. Jared was right about you also being a worry wart. Anyway, like I already said, he wasn't much of a challenge to a pack as huge as ours. It took us only a couple of minutes to rip him apart"

"But what about Victoria?" I questioned, flinching.

"We'll get her soon enough. She hasn't showed up for a few days. Sam reckons she'll back soon. We'll be ready for her this time. Now that we know what she wants" he assured.

"Please be careful Jacob" I pleaded. It was nothing like the panic I felt at the idea of Jacob going up against Victoria. Jacob was warm, still comparatively human. Mortal. I thought of Jacob facing Victoria, her brilliant hair blowing around her oddly feline face . . . and shuddered. He began comforting me all over again. "Jake, I've been meaning to ask you something about imprinting" I began. "Sure, go ahead" he encouraged.

"Jake, why is that we can feel each other's emotions? And why does it make us sick if we stay away from each other?" I asked, curiously.

"Imprinting is very powerful. Like how the pack can read each other's minds, the same way, imprints can feel the emotions of their imprinter, and vice – versa. It has its advantages, and disadvantages. Whenever you're sick, or in trouble, I'll easily know, and so can you. But again, there will be no privacy for us. It's so strong, so that the imprintee is forced to accept the imprinter. It also makes things convenient for the both of them. Like I can easily know where you are, what you're doing, or what you're feeling, so that I can come to your rescue, so that I can stay satisfied without worrying about you. If you're hurt or in pain, I'll feel it and I'll know. No matter what I do, I can't stay away from you. It'll kill me. It's the same for you. We have to be around each other to be normal. No matter what I have to be or do to stay to be close to you, I'll do it" he elucidated.

I experienced his divergence of emotions again. "Is that… is that why you hate imprinting?" I asked uncertainly. He nodded. "I won't lie to you Bells. I wasn't exactly thrilled either when I heard about it" he confessed. "It made me feel so sick and disgusted on the insides. To impose such a punishment and obligation on you... it didn't seem fair. So… so that's why I…"

"So that's why you tried to fight it?" I finished. He nodded, not meeting my gaze. "For Sam and Emily, it was different. She tried to stay away from him, but it's hard to resist that level of love and adoration" he continued. "And I guess, that's another reason why I felt I should fight the imprint, no matter how hard it was". I stared at his bent head, tears forming in my eyes.

"When I saw everything through Sam's eyes, the pain, the torture, the sadness, the compulsion, and finally acceptance" he said, despondently. "How Emily and Sam were forced to betray Leah, how much it hurt her, and him. How finally Emily gave in, but with love in return, and how she was torn apart by Sam". He began to tremble. "It didn't seem fair for me to put you through that, knowing that how much it would hurt you… knowing that I might do the same thing what Sam did to his imprint. Everyone, including Sam wants your safety Bella. Sam feels so bad even today, when he looks at Emily's face. I don't want to put you through that. I don't want to be like Sam"

"Then don't be like Sam! Be yourself! Be Jacob! My Jacob. You won't hurt me Jake"

"Of course I won't hurt you Bella! I'd never hurt you that way"

"I know Jake, I know. You have exceptional self control. Even better than Sam." "Emily told me" I added.

He looked up and gave me a small smile. "That's true. Sam's says I'm a natural. He even suggested that I give Paul some pointers, who wasn't too happy about it" he said, amused. I smiled at that.

"You never had a temper Jake. That's why you're so good at it. You were always patient. Even with me" I stated.

He chuckled. "I guess that's one way of looking at it. Sam thinks differently though"

"Why does it matter what Sam thinks?" I demanded.

"It matters because he's the Alpha" replied Jake, instantly.

"Being Alpha doesn't give him the right to impose his ideas!" I exclaimed exasperated. As grateful as I was to Sam, I didn't appreciate his dominating conduct.

"He wasn't imposing his ideas Bella, he was only stating it" he stated, trying to pacify me. "And I thought that you would've liked Sam by now, after getting to know Emily and hearing his story and all that"

"It's not that I don't like him, it's that he's … he's too dominating"

"Well, he _is_ the Alpha. He has to order us, otherwise how do you expect the others to listen to him? You saw how the guys fight. They even fight over food and couches, so you can imagine what it's like while patrolling" said, Jacob, prudently.

I thought about it for a moment. "I guess you're right. But he's making you work too hard"

"We can't afford to let her give us the slip Bells. She's dangerous. I can't let anything happen to you"

I sighed. "Does possessing the feeling of over protectiveness also a part of the imprint?"

"I guess it is. It's the duty of the imprinter and the other pack members to protect each other's imprint"

I groaned reproachfully. "Another obligation?" I questioned.

"I guess you could call it that. But for me, it's natural. I want to protect you. I couldn't let anything happen to you Bells. You're too precious to me. But for the other pack members, it's a duty, but not an obligation. Only Paul whined about it. But he realized his duty, so kept his mouth shut" answered Jake, calmly.

"So, you're saying that, it's not only your duty then, but it's the pack's duty too?"

He nodded. "But we're not doing this because we _have _to Bells. We're doing it because we _want _to" he emphasized. It didn't seem that way to me though. Somehow, I wanted to believe him.

"And the best part's hunting leeches. It's fun" he said, gleefully.

I groaned again. "Jake, it's not safe!"

"C'mon Bells. Let me have my fun"

I sighed, resigning. "Does… does the pack hate me for putting their lives in danger?" I questioned, hesitantly.

"Are you kidding? Everyone's thrilled about it! That's the best part of this whole drama!" he exclaimed.

"So the pack doesn't hate me?"

"Of course not! Not even Paul! Though he used to grumble about it before the imprint. Me obsessing about you that is. He doesn't find it fair that we were protecting a girl who ran with vampires, but he'll get over it"

"So, we're okay then?" I asked, hesitant, yet again."Of course we are. You needn't feel guilty Bells. No one hates you" he assured. I sighed, and noticed that it was getting dark. "Jake. It's getting late, we better go inside, and you need some sleep" I said. "It's not dark for me. I can see through the darkness too. Another cool werewolf sense" he stated, complacently. That suddenly reminded me of Edward. My chest began to hurt again. I gulped a couple of times. "Bella, what's wrong? What did I say?" asked Jacob immediately. "It's nothing. It's just that he could... all vampires could see in the dark" I replied in a small voice.

He sighed and muttered under his breath. "See through the dark and sparkle in the sun too" he cursed. I could feel his anger. He came to a halt and I stopped too. He stood in front me, and placed his burning hand on my shoulders. "Bella, I'm sorry. It was stupid of me to bring him up, knowing the effect he has on you. Just after we decided to forget all this, I'm an idiot! Why did I have to bring that up?" he cursed. "I promise I won't do that again, but you have to promise me something else" he said, seriously.

"What?" I asked.

"I want _you _Bella. I want _my_ Bella, with no strings attached. Bella, honey, how can we continue this relationship, when you're still..." he let out a cry of frustration."Look Bells, I know he hurt you, and I would never do that to you honey. It's time to move on. You said it yourself. You're giving me a chance. How do I do all things I plan to, when you're still thinking about him? Honey, all I'm asking is for you to give me a chance. A real chance" he said, gazing into my eyes with a hard expression.

"Did you really mean all those things you said, or were they just words?"he demanded, his voice turning acidic. I was angered by his tone.

"How could you say that?" I demanded, incredulously. "Of course I meant those things!"

"Because you attempted to forget about him!" came his shocking reply. "Is he worth all this effort Bella? The bloodsucker left you! He didn't want you anymore!"

My hole threatened to rip open, and I began to shake violently. "Bella, either cry and let it all out, or let me help you forget about him. Let me fix you Bella"

Tears sped down my cheeks faster than the wind. I comprehended what Jake was saying. I could either cry and let it all out, or give him time to heal me.

"Bella, if it hurts you, it hurts me too. It hurts me more to see you like this" he stated, looking dejected. I had forgotten that we could feel each other's emotions. So, I was hurting Jacob too. I began to sob frantically and he yanked me to his chest and hugged me tightly. I sobbed into his chest. "I'll never forgive him. I'll never forgive what he's done to you!" he swore. "I'll kill him, I really will"

That made me sob harder. He let me weep in his arms, and after a while, his touched soothed me and I instantly calmed down. He was right. If he wanted a fair chance, then I would try to forget about Edward. I sniffed and wiped away my tears. "I'll try to forget about him" I said in a muffled voice. "Don't give up on me Jacob. I promise I'll try. It just... hurts so much"

"It's okay, honey. Try, try, to let it all out"

"I promise you Jacob, I will try to forget about Ed- Edward for you" I promised. "We'll start over"

"That's all I'm asking" he said, in a serene voice. That was all the placating I needed.

"Do you forgive me?"

"Of course I do, you silly girl" he said, slightly amused. "It won't happen again" I promised. We walked back home, and Jacob was smiling, looking at my determination, which I felt was feeble. Apparently, Jacob didn't think so. He kissed me on my forehead, and ran to his room, and I heard him collapse on the bed. I straight away busied myself in the kitchen.

I jerked out of my thoughts, as the water boiled just enough. I began preparing dinner, and when I was nearly done, I noticed the time, and went upstairs to wake Jacob. I opened his door and I didn't like what I saw. For the first time, I noticed dark circles forming under his eyes. I didn't have the heart to wake him up. I felt accountable of depriving him of sleep. It wouldn't happen anymore. I gently shook him, and he stirred. He opened his eyes, and looked disoriented for a moment. It took him a few seconds to comprehend the present scenario. He smiled blissfully, as he saw me. I felt my heart melt. How could Sam make him run patrol in this condition?

"You're here; I thought it was all a dream. I thought you had come to wake me up for patrolling" he said, yawning widely.

"Jake, I am here to wake you up for patrolling" I stated with a laugh. He chuckled. "So, did all that happen? Did you really agree to give me a chance?" he asked, his eyes sparkling with hope.

"Yes Jake, I did"

"Well, I'm glad it's real, and not some dream"

"You're not that creative" I scoffed.

"Wouldn't you like to know?" he asked winking. I rolled my eyes. "I had a great dream just now, you woke me up"

"Sorry"

"It's okay, I hope it continues tonight" he said, with a twinkle in his eye. I snorted. We walked to Emily's and like yesterday, he waited till I entered the door step, and I almost tripped. He chuckled. "Some things never change do they?" he joked. I snorted, and got in, and shut the door. He was still chuckling, I heard him even from inside.

"Bella!" exclaimed Emily, anxious. "What did he say? What did you decide?" she demanded, dragging me to her couch. "Don't leave any details" she ordered. I elaborated what happened a few hours ago, and I saw Emily's expressions fluctuate. She didn't interrupt at all, and listened in rapt attention. When I finished, I found tears in her eyes. "Oh Bella!" she said, choking. "It's wonderful. I'm glad you decided all this"

"Thank you Emily. I couldn't have done it without you" I thanked.

"It's okay Bella. But first things, first. Would you like to talk about your past relationship?" she questioned.

I froze. I was taken aback by her bluntness. "Jacob's right you know. He deserves a fair chance, and you need to let go of your past"

I wasn't comfortable talking to anyone about it. Edward and the Cullens were taboo at home, and no one mentioned them at school either. I was amazed to hear Emily urging me to reveal secrets of my relationship, which I hadn't revealed to anyone yet. "You know, I understand that you couldn't tell Jake. But you can tell me you know. We've gone through similar experiences. I know it's not the same, but you could try me Bella. I'm a girl too. A wolf girl that too. We're both friends now" she stated. I debated with myself. Emily was right. We both were wolf girls and who could understand me better than her? Except, she didn't understand. She wouldn't understand. What Edward and I had was... unexplainable.

"Emily, what happened with me and Ed- Edward" I choked. "What we had was... special. It was different"

"I can tell" she stated, scrutinizing me.

"It was not just a healthy... boy and girl relationship, it was everything. To me at least" I said, out of breath. My chest began to hurt.

"Tell me Bella, tell me. I can help you let me help you through this" she pressed. I was still indecisive. "You're doing this for Jacob, Bella. Think about it. If you let go now, things will be okay later on"

"I- I can't Emily. It hurts too much"

"You'll have to get over it someday!" she reasoned. "Do it now Bella. Confront your fears"

"Emily... it's it's not that simple"

"It wasn't for me either"

"But –"

"This going to make things easier for you and Jacob" she stated."Don't you want to help Jacob, Bella? Doesn't he mean anything to you at all? Doesn't his happiness matter to you?"

Her words stung. Jacob was the most important person in my life right now. I had to do this for him. I took a deep breath, trying to ignore the gnawing pain in my chest. "Our relationship was everything to me" I began, and I paused."But... I guess it wasn't the same to him".

I tried to describe what happened when I first met him, and I tried to complete my sorrowful tale, but I couldn't reach far. And the consequence of awakening my suppressed melancholy, ended with physical breathlessness. I couldn't inhale the air around me. The air wouldn't enter my lungs, not matter how hard I tried. I was frantically breathing with my mouth open, and I was no longer aware of any other sensation.

Emily frantically looked for a glass of water and handed it me, but I was clutching my chest in pain. The sound of my breathing grew louder, and Emily was alarmed. She ran around the kitchen, hunting for something. "Calm down, Bella. You're going to be fine!" she said, panicking. She resumed her desperate search. But my vision blurred again, due to the tears overflowing.

I began panting for air and Emily discarded whatever she was holding, and tried to help me breathe. I wouldn't remove my hands from my chest, and I began letting out screams. All those memories, all the pain, the day he left in the woods... all came back to me in a flash. I felt Emily splashing water on my face and shove a glass of water in my mouth, but I didn't co- operate. The hole would rip open anytime soon. I forced my head back and the air got caught in my lungs. Just then, the door burst open, and Jacob came in, hysterical.

"EMILY! EMILY! WHAT'S HAPPENING TO HER?" he demanded, panicking, immediately rushing up to me. My brain functioned enough to hear what they were saying."I don't know! One moment she was talking about Edward, and the other moment, she went hysterical" answered Emily, anxiously. "I'm trying to get her to drink some water, but she's not listening! Jacob do something!"

I could feel Jacob close to me. His frenetic emotion was too much for me to handle. It soon overwhelmed me, and I wailed agitatedly. I felt Jacob's soothing touch on my back. He tried to pull my hands free from my chest, but I wasn't willingly to let go. But he effortlessly succeeded. In spite of my situation, I remembered his immense strength. He grabbed my wrists and ignored my struggles. He forced me to sleep on the couch, and forced my legs at the other end, while Emily shoved some water into my mouth, which splashed all over my face. I spat some of it out, and continued my struggle to hold my hands against my chest. The pain was blazing hard, and I still couldn't breathe.

I felt Jacob's iron grip on my hands and knees, and Emily hovering above me. "BELLA! BELLA! HONEY, OPEN YOUR EYES! IT'S ME JACOB!"he ordered, despite of his worry. "Bella! Bella! Try to breathe! Bella!" called Emily alarmed. She patted my cheeks, which felt like angry slaps, with a hope to wake me up. "It's no use Jake! We'll have to call the doctor!" she exclaimed, panicking. "Hurry then!"screamed Jacob. Our emotions, assorted together, was impossible for me to handle. I felt the loss of energy in my body, and soon stopped my fraught endeavour to escape his iron grip. My breathing slowed down, and I felt Jacob's relief wash over me. I didn't how long I lay there, disoriented, with Jacob desperately trying to comfort me, until I let darkness engulf me.

When I woke up, I found myself in a strange room. It was dark already, and I heard voices from downstairs.

"DON'T DRAG EMILY INTO THIS JACOB!" yelled a voice, which I supposed, was Sam's.

"DON'T DRAG HER INTO ALL THIS? SHE STARTED IT!" yelled back Jacob.

"SHE WAS ONLY TRYING TO HELP!" defended Sam.

"Help?" spat out Jacob. "Does she even know what she was doing? Bella was dying! You don't know what she's been through! I can feel her pain and sorrow Sam!" he argued hotly.

"It's the damn bloodsucker's fault! What are you dragging Emily into all this for?" countered Paul.

"Because she's the one who caused this!" he screeched. "EVERYTHING WAS GOING JUST FINE! BELLA EVEN AGREED TO FORGET THE BLOODSUCKER! BUT _SHE_ HAD TO GO AND RUIN EVERYTHING!"

I felt tremors rock through my body. I could hear Emily's frantic sobs. "I was- I was only trying to help" she said, stammering.

"Help? Do you even know the kind of effect that filthy bloodsucker has on Bella? You mention his name, and she stops breathing! Do you want to kill her?" he demanded, enraged. "She's my imprint for God's sake!"

"That doesn't mean you go on insulting other's imprints!" argued Sam, and went on saying something in Quileute.

"Do you even realize what she's done Sam?" demanded Jake, furious. "This was my only chance with Bella, AND _SHE_ RUINED IT!" he accused, his voice raising a few octaves. "You saw everything! You heard my thoughts! You know how I feel!"

"Just because I know how you feel, doesn't mean I'll support you! If Bella really wants to give you a chance, then what happened today won't change her decision" he reasoned.

"How do you know?" demanded Jake incredulously. "She could even reject the imprint!"

"Well good riddance then!" shouted Paul. "I'm glad when leech lover's gone!"

Jacob growled ferociously. "Don't you dare call her that!" he said through his teeth, and cussed at him in Quileute. Paul, I assumed, cussed back, and a deafening argument broke out between two. They were still going on in Quileute. His fury penetrated through my body, making me quiver.

"ENOUGH!" roared Sam. I could feel the tension in the abrupt silence. I could hear Sam's voice again. But I didn't bother to listen. I was dwelling in my own sorrow. The voices grew louder, but this time, some of them conversed in Quileute. They switched over to English at brief intervals. Though I couldn't comprehend what they were saying, it was obvious that they were continuing their argument. I realized that I was in Emily's bedroom. I was tucked under a quilt, and my jacket was on the dressing table. I felt lifeless and tired. I was clearly exhausted. I couldn't get myself to think at all. My mind went blank. I couldn't even cry and mourn. My mind consciously pushed away all thought of today's events, and any hurtful thoughts.

I lay there, staring up at the ceiling. I felt Jacob's anger rock through me once more. I guessed that after I passed out, Emily called the doctor, and he must've given some bad news, and the wolves, who were waiting for Jake impatiently, were annoyed at the delay. So Sam must've sent someone to check up on Jake, and he must've informed the others of my condition. Jake would've blamed Emily for my present condition, and got into an argument with her. Sam would've naturally defended her, and the others backed him up. I had done it yet again. I had created a drift between the pack, the same way I had created distance between...

I wouldn't even think his name or any of the others. Only _I_ could do this. No one else in the world could make angry teenage wolves fight with each other, over me, a frail human. I was highly talented. I was at the wrong place, at the wrong time, with the wrong person. I began to loathe myself more than ever. I didn't deserve this. What was I doing? Why was I destroying the pack, who was working industriously to protect me? I was horrible. I should surrender myself to Victoria and let her to her worst.

As Laurent has stated, she had planned the most unpleasant revenge for me. I deserved every slap and cut she gave me. Why was I doing this to everyone? Wouldn't it be easier for everyone if I just died? As if to answer my question, Jacob's excruciating face came into my vision. If I die, then so would he. I sighed in frustration. There was no way out for me. I was stuck. Why was I so selfish? Why couldn't I relieve everyone from their pain? Even poor Emily, whose help knew no bounds, was hurt because of me. I could never repay her debts in the precise manner. Instead, I just repaid her with pain, just like I had done to Jake and everyone else.

I was a horrible, and I deserved to die, except I couldn't. For Jacob's sake. I owed him his life, if not anything else. So I would stay alive, without butting into anyone's life. I was better off as the zombie, with no emotion, dead on the inside. I shut my eyes. I would live life for Jacob's sake and my parent's sake, until the pack caught Victoria. After that, I would move somewhere else, and study in college, and leave everyone alone. It was the best thing to do. Everyone needed a break from my antics. I was too much of a trouble maker, a danger magnet.

With all these thoughts, I drifted off into a dreamless sleep. When I woke up again, I found myself in my bed, tucked in. It was three in the morning. How did I get home? I recalled being in Emily's bedroom. Jacob's warm, earthy scent was all over me. _Jacob..._

I didn't deserve his love. Or anyone else's for that matter. And Jacob had loved me more than I deserved. I decided that I would wait until the pack had Victoria, and move away to a far place, where I would away from him. Realization hit me again, if I stayed away from Jacob, both of us would suffer excruciating pain, and eventually die. I almost screamed in aggravation. The whole world was against me. Why couldn't I let anyone be happy? All my plans seemed to backfire. Pathetic.

I fell asleep again, and woke up at around eight in the morning. Charlie came up to check on me. "Hey Bells, how're you feeling?" he asked. "Fine" I mumbled. "You scared me there Bells. Jacob told me that you passed out in Emily's place, due to exhaustion. You really should be eating Bells. You look thin" he said, concerned. "I'll do that Dad. Aren't you late for work?" I said non chalantely. "I'm waiting for Jacob, he offered to stay with you today" he replied. "Since I have to go to hunting with the boys". I felt vexed again. "Dad, can't you please send someone else?" I pleaded. "Bella, you worry too much. I'm well protected" he convinced. "Just be careful" I warned. He smiled warmly. "Thanks Bells. You take care now. Need any help getting up?"

I had a hot shower, and I noticed that my body felt stiff, the hot water felt good. I dressed quickly, and went downstairs. I hadn't got all my energy back. I found Charlie eating eggs. He had put a plate for me too, and a glass of orange juice. I ate quietly, and just as I finished, Jacob's rabbit rode into the drive way. "Well, Jacob's here honey. I better be off. Do you want me to stay?" he said. I shook my head. "Take care, call if you need anything" he said, getting up. "Uh Dad..." I began, suddenly remembering. "Could you go buy some college applications for me? I haven't started applying yet, and the deadlines are approaching soon" I stated. Charlie's face broke into a smile. "Sure thing Bells, any college in particular?" he asked.

I shook my head. "Just make sure it's not too expensive. That's all" I answered. Jacob came in, and his presence replaced the glum feeling in my stomach, with warmth. He spoke to Charlie, and bid goodbye. I washed the dishes until Charlie left. Jake strolled into the kitchen, feeling hesitant. "Hey Bells, how're you feeling?" he asked, clearing his throat. "Fine" I replied, not turning to look at him, I continued washing the dishes, while he stood idly. When I was finished, he began a conversation. "Uh Bella, just take whatever you need, we're going to LaPush" he said, awaiting my reaction. "I'll be ready in a minute" I stated, still not looking at him. I sauntered past him, and went to my room, and gathered a couple of textbooks. It was about time that I started my holiday homework.

I went downstairs and Jacob waited until I locked the door. I climbed into his Rabbit. "Charlie will be hunting all day, so he won't have time to call. You don't have to worry" he said. I felt his stare piercing through me. But I refused to look at him, and stared at the passing scenery. "Thanks" I muttered. Jacob was fretting about my future response, to everything, in general. "You know Jacob, I'm not going to yell at you or anything" I said, quietly. "I'm not angry at you, or Emily, or Sam, or anyone else for that matter". "You're not?" he asked, surprised. "Can't you feel it through our imprint?" I questioned. "I feel nothing through imprint Bella. Nothing" he replied, fearful. "Tell me what are you planning?"

I was caught off guard by the question. "Why, nothing" I lied. "Oh yeah? Then why aren't you looking at me?" he demanded. The fact was that, I was scared to face him. "What do you mean?" I questioned, innocently. "Don't play with me Bella" he warned. I turned around to face him.

"I'm not mad Jake. I'm really not. I'm just tired okay?" I stated.

"I know. Then why won't you look at me?"

"I'm looking at you now"

He sighed. "Bells, honey, tell me, what's going in your mind?"

"Weren't you the one who said you could read my mind? Then how can you expect me to be mad at you or Emily for that matter?"

"I don't know Bells, after last night... I tried to get it alright? But I can't! When Emily asked you to talk about... things... I felt you pain and agony, Bella. I was devastated. I begged Sam let me go and see you. The others felt it too. So I came rushing, and when I saw you like that, I couldn't take it Bells" he said, looking petrified. "I know how you felt Bella" he said, his tone altering.

I gazed at the floor of the truck, sadly. But something was forcing me to look back at Jacob. "It's alright Jake; she was trying to help me"

"But she forced you to talk"

"I...I should've known that I would... over- overreact. I should've told that I couldn't"

"We'll never talk about it again, I promise"

I nodded. We remained silent for a while. "Bella, are we still... are we still... you know, trying out your idea?" he asked cautiously. I smiled at that. I looked at his unsure expression. "Jake, you're beginning to sound like me now" I teased. "Well, I hang around you; it's bound to rub off some time" he taunted. I gave him a sour look, and he sniggered. "So, are we still doing it or what?" he asked. I remembered the misinterpretation yesterday, and laughed. "I can't believe you'd ask me to do such a thing Jake. Charlie would arrest me for assault, and you're a minor" I teased playfully. He snickered. "Don't worry, I won't press charges" he said, smiling. "So, what do you say? Do we still give it a shot, or what?"

I pretended to be deep in thought. "I'll think about it, provided you behave" I replied, joking. "Oh, I'll be the best behaved man on this planet today" he vowed, good-humouredly."We'll see then" I challenged. We chuckled in unison, and the tension in the air lifted. Both of us were smiling, as he drove to LaPush.

"Jake, why did you think I would reject the imprint?" I asked suddenly. He looked taken aback by the question. "Like I told you, I thought you wouldn't like the whole idea" he answered, not meeting my gaze. "No, I mean yesterday, when you fighting with Sam, why did you think I would reject you, after I promised that we would try?" I pressed. His stature changed, along with his emotions. I could feel strong fear.

"You were awake?" he questioned. I nodded. "Well I'm sorry you had to hear all that" he apologized. Well, when it's about... that guy, you're always so... so... upset and hurt. I thought you may be angry after what Emily did to you" he answered truthfully. His eyes were on the road, but I could feel his discomfort, and not just because of the imprint. "Jake, I would never do that. You of all people should know that" I countered. "But yesterday, when you broke down, I couldn't think after that. I was horrified at what I saw. Everyone was. The whole pack was shocked too. Emily and the others didn't know the extent of damage caused to you. I didn't know what you would decide next. I thought that you were dying Bells! What could I do?" he replied, terrified.

I hadn't realized what Jacob would've gone through, when he saw me in such a wretched state. The whole pack had seen me like that. It was a moment of my weakness and embarrassment. "After you passed out, Emily called the doctor, and I kept trying to wake you up, by the time the doctor showed up, Sam had already sent Jared to see why I hadn't showed up yet. Jared took one look at you, and looked as if he saw a ghost. He phased and told the others what happened. They were concerned, but someone had to patrol, and Sam was doing double shifts. So Jared ran patrol, while Sam came to help. By that time, Emily had explained everything to me, and I was furious. I was yelling at her, and Sam showed up, and you can guess, we had quite the yelling match" he elucidated, unhappily.

"The doctor showed up, and he quickly examined you. He said that you had a panic attack and some psychological pains too. He suggested therapy and a couple of medicines and a better diet. I was frantic of course. Sam handled the whole situation, and asked Billy to talk to Charlie. Even after the doctor gave you the injection, you weren't waking up. But he had stated that you may come around soon, but I couldn't wait that long. I took out all my frustration on the guys and Emily. Paul had showed up for patrol, and well, he kinda got involved too. Jared and Embry came back, and well, things got out of hand. Jared had mixed feelings about the whole thing. He agreed that he would've done the same thing if his imprint was hurt, but he respects Sam and Emily, and Embry supported me" he continued.

"So as you know, we got into a huge fight. Sam asked me to go check up on you, and you still weren't awake. It drove me wild. Sam and Jared agreed that they had felt the same level of devastation when their imprints were hurt, but they thought that I shouldn't have yelled at Emily. Paul and Embry haven't imprinted, so they couldn't understand, and Paul as usual, made his sly comments, which made me mad. I almost attacked him, if Sam hadn't stopped me. I carried you to your truck, and Emily came with me. She kept apologizing and blaming herself. Not that I didn't stop her from doing it. But Sam and Paul kept pacifying her. She cried too. Sam was infuriated with me" he explained, driving quickly.

"I carried you to bed, with Charlie's and Emily's help. Charlie was in a panicked state. Emily did all the convincing there was left to do" he stated. "And after I left, I patrolled around your house the whole time, not that Sam didn't like it. I was relieved when you woke up".

"I'm sorry for causing so much of trouble" I apologized. "Would you stop blaming yourself?" he scolded. "It's not your fault! It's that damn bloodsuckers! He did this! Not you!"

I felt the pain slowly creeping up. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said that. I keep breaking my promises. I lost my temper again" he apologized. "It's alright Jake. Forget it. It won't happen again. I'll try to forget about him. Besides, remember, we promised that we would pretend that none of this happened when we're together right? So let's be normal for a while, and act like it's just us hanging out" I said, recovering. "Right" he agreed. "So, what's with all the books?" he questioned. "Holiday homework" I answered.

"It's only been what, three days, since your vacations began, and you've already stated your homework?"

"Yeah. I've got to do it someday"

"Really Bells, you're boring. What do you do to have fun? Other than hang out with me that is"

We began bickering, and both of us gained more years, deciding which one of us had more fun. When I noticed, that Jacob drove into an unfamiliar road. "Jake, where are we going? This isn't the route to Emily's" I asked. "We're not going to Emily's, we're going to Kim's" he replied. "Kim? You mean Jared's imprint?" I asked surprised. He nodded. "But why?" I questioned. "It was a mutual decision" he replied, calmly. "If you stay at Emily's, I thought that she might bring that up again, and well... Emily might feel guilty too, and you know it shouldn't happen again. It was a unanimous decision. Embry suggested that I leave you with Kim, since she's an imprint too, and Jared and I run shifts together, so I'll pick you up from her place".

I was taken aback. "Don't worry, Kim's told her parents that you're coming, and that you're a senior trying to help her out with school and stuff. I'm sure she's got it covered" he assured. "Did Jared approve?" I questioned, unsure. "He wasn't too happy about it. Paul warned him that you might be a bad influence, and I hit him for that. But Sam ordered him, so he no choice, and Sam thought it was a good idea too. Jared wouldn't admit it, but he liked the idea" answered Jake. We stopped in front of a small house, that looked a lot like any other house on the reservation, but it was slightly bigger. Jared and Kim were waiting outside, and as Jake hadn't Jared didn't look too happy about all this.

"Don't worry, he's given clear instructions. She'll avoid all the unnecessary topics. And she knows everything" said Jacob, and climbed down. I followed after him. My first impression of Kim was that she was a nice girl, a little shy, and a little plain. She had a wide face, mostly cheekbones, with eyes too small to balance them out. Her nose and mouth were both too broad for traditional beauty. Her flat black hair was thin and wispy in the wind that never seemed to let up atop the cliff. After watching Jared watch Kim, I could no longer find anything plain about the girl. The way he stared at her! It was like a blind man seeing the sun for the first time. Like a collector finding an undiscovered Da Vinci, like a mother looking into the face of her newborn child.

His wondering eyes made me see new things about her — how her skin looked like russet-coloured silk in the sunlight, how the shape of her lips was a perfect double curve, how white her teeth were against them, how long her eyelashes were, brushing her cheek when she looked down.

Kim's skin sometimes darkened when she met Jared's awed gaze, and her eyes would drop as if in embarrassment, but she had a hard time keeping her eyes away from his for any length of time. Watching them, I felt like I better understood what Jacob had told me about imprinting before —it's hard to resist that level of commitment and adoration. I also realized why it was so hard for me to look away from Jacob for a long time. "I don't like this" muttered Jared. He kissed Kim goodbye, and I saw her blush. Jake, waved at me. "Be careful. And don't talk about wolves and stuff. Kim's mom's at home" he whispered in my ear. I nodded. I quietly went in to her home. Kim seemed very shy and nervous around me. I couldn't be less surprised. Jared could have told her anything he wanted about me.

Kim's mother, Mrs. Lisa Franer, was nice too, but wasn't quite easy going as her daughter. She acknowledged the fact that I was the Chief's daughter, so she remained cordial and friendly. Their house had two storeys, and Kim lived upstairs, just like me. We did our holiday homework, and she would ask me for help now and then, when she got stuck. We were careful about our conversation as we were under her mother's vigilant eye. I didn't ask much about her, as it would have to appear that we were already acquaintances. So, we quietly worked. But both of us were highly uncomfortable around each other. Kim, though kind, didn't look pleased or happy about my presence in her home. Kim's mother brought up some cookies for us, and was pleased to see our progress.

I thanked her, and continued my work. The cookies were good, and so was lunch. I didn't have to provide any explanation about staying long, as Kim, apparently, had given a valid reason, which her mother seemed to buy. I had almost finished a quarter of my work, by lunch. Kim began doing another subject, which caught my interest. "Do you like English literature?" I asked politely. She blushed and nodded. "I love it. But most of my friends think I'm an idiot for liking it. They complain that it's boring" she replied. "English Literature is quite an interesting subject. I enjoy myself" I stated. She was writing an essay about her opinion on William Wordsworth poems. We had quite an enjoyable discussion, and her mother seemed surprised at the alteration of the atmosphere. We had a lively conversation, and we laughed and joked around. I was truly surprised that someone like Kim, would like English literature. Then again, she seemed a lot like me in several ways.

Kim soon forgot her wariness and her eyes sparkled, when we began discussing without restraint. In the end, Kim finally finished her essay, and I appreciated her use of criticism and praise too. "You know Bella, there aren't enough books in the Quileute library, except for Quileute history, and it's really boring" she complained. I laughed and empathised, and stated that I had the same problem. "May be we should go book shopping together in Seattle or Port Angeles" I suggested. Her eyes lit up. "Really Bella? You would come with me?" she questioned, hopefully. I nodded. "Mom and Jared never agree to come with me. Mom says she's always too busy, and Jared has no interest in books at all. He says English literature is a big waste of time for him" she whined. "And Mom won't let me go alone either". "Don't worry we'll go together soon" I promised. "After the pack's caught..." I halted.

"After we finish with all our work and when we're both free" I hastily amended. She nodded, quickly getting the hint. Until the pack had caught Victoria, I was under house arrest in LaPush, and I couldn't endanger Kim, in case Victoria was lurking around. So we would have to wait patiently, until 'the pack tore Victoria to shreds', as Jake stated. "Would you like to see my book collection? It's not much, but I would like it if you took a look at it" she asked shyly. I willingly obliged. She opened her small cupboard, and at the bottom, was her collection. As she stated, it was poor, but it had more or less the same books I had. Shakespeare, Austen, Wordsworth, Chaucer, Spencer and Thomas More. There was a lot of Quileute history too. I glanced at the titles. "Those are my history textbooks" she informed, sourly. "I don't know the point of studying all this, since we all know it by heart. All Quileutes know their history; we've been hearing it since we were kids".

I sympathized with her, and guaranteed that I would take her book shopping. We grudgingly went back to our homework, as both of us would love to resume our conversation. She reluctantly put away her English book, and opened her Physics book in distaste. We assiduously worked till Jared and Jake came to pick us up. Jared was amazed at my fast comradeship with Kim. He wasn't too thrilled about this. On the other hand, Jacob was delighted. Jared gave me a hard look and began conversing with Kim. She waved goodbye timidly, but she was smiling. Jake and I walked to the Black's residence. "So, you and Kim are friends now huh?" he asked, pleased. I couldn't help but grin back. "Yup. She's a nice girl. I had fun with her" I replied, and I began chatting animatedly about our common interest in literature. Jacob smiled at my excitement.

Jacob resumed his usual his position on his bed, snoring, and I resumed my homework, yet again. Billy wasn't home today either. He was at another friend's house. Someone I didn't know. Time flew, and it was time for Jake to patrol again. Jacob dropped me to Kim's, just as Jared was stepping out. He gave me the solid expression again, and muttered something to Kim, who looked offended. Soon after, he and Jacob took off. Kim smiled welcoming me, but I could see the worry on her face. I longed to ask her about it. Mrs. Lisa wasn't at home, so we could talk freely. Kim was doing her chores, and I waited for her to come back. She made tea and biscuits for us. I waited for the tea to cool down.

"Kim, can I ask you something?"

She looked up from her cup, and nodded. "Is something bothering you?" I asked concerned. She looked uncomfortable and jittery all of a sudden. She remained silent for a while. "Is it something to do with what Jared said?" I questioned. She looked alarmed at my question, and finally resigned. "Yes" she said, sighing. "I was quite upset with him earlier". "Why?" I questioned. "Because we had an argument" she explained. "About what?" I questioned. "You actually" was her astonishing answer. "Me?" I asked, astounded.

"Yes. He didn't like the idea of us being friends. He told me to stay away from you and not get too friendly. He's very protective of me you know" she elucidated, not looking at me. "He said... he said that you created a fight among the pack members, and you might break them apart". I wasn't staggered that he felt that way. Jake stated that Jared had mixed feelings. "Oh. I see. So it's better if we don't stay friends then?"I questioned. "If it makes things better between you and Jared, then we'll not be friends". Kim looked upset by this. "I thought differently. I didn't agree with him" she stated. This was news to me. "I can be friends with who I want to, can't I?" she demanded, looking affronted. "Yes, but if our friendship causes a fight between you and Jared then..." I began.

"It won't. He can choose his friends, and I can choose mine" she interjected. For the first time, Kim didn't seem so timorous to me. She was someone who stood up for herself, a quality that I didn't know she possessed. I had clearly assumed that she was Jared's shadow.

"I want to be friends with you Bella. You're nice. And besides, I haven't found anyone at all who shares my love for literature" she stated blushing. I smiled back at her. "Thank you. But..." I began again. "I'll tell Jared that we are friends. If he doesn't like it, I'll order him to butt out" she said grinning. For the first time, I realized that there was a lot more to Kim than I had first noticed. I had judged her too quickly. I really began to like her now. Just the same way I had begun to like Emily. "Besides, we have to stick together, we're wolf girls right?" she said, winking. I smiled yet again, today. We continued our conversation till late in the evening, and I noticed the time. "Isn't your mom going to be back soon? Did you tell her I'll be here this late?" I asked, fearfully.

"She's gone to her friends place. She won't be back until dinner" she replied.

"What excuse did you give her about me staying?" I questioned, enquiringly.

"Well, I told her that you were Jacob's and Jared's friend, and of course, the Chief's daughter. I mentioned that you were a senior, and a good student, and that you were going to help me with my homework from now on, since I'm aiming for better grades. Mum was really happy. She wasn't happy with me recently, worrying that Jared would influence my behaviour" she replied, smiling broadly. "I told her that Chief Swan was busy hunting, and that you were lonely, which your Dad didn't appreciate, and the boys couldn't keep you company, since they were busy...er... building a car and doing some boy stuff"

"What made you think of the 'good student' excuse?" I asked, surprised.

"Jacob told me" she answered, chuckling. "He said, 'well Kim, by the time the spring break's over, Bella would've made you memorize all the pages of your text books. You'll be topping all your classes, and going off to college, leaving poor Jared behind. Don't blame me if you two break up! Don't say I didn't warn you!' "

I laughed. That was exactly like something Jacob would've said. I was glad to know that he was acting a lot like his old self. "That really got me scared. But Jared said that you were a..." she stopped unexpectedly, looking embarrassed. "Jared said what Kim?" I inquired. She looked flushed now. "Nothing" she mumbled. "It's okay, you can tell me. I deserve to hear bad things" I muttered. I was hurting everyone I met, and ruining their relationship with someone who they loved the most. I deserved bad things to be told about me. I needed to hear the cold harsh truth. Maybe a reality check was what I needed.

"It's not a bad thing, actually" she said, surprisingly. "In fact, it's quite funny"

"Funny?"

"Yeah. He said that, you would be the one to dump Jacob because he's not smart enough. You would run off to college and marry a smart dorky weasel, and ride off into the sunset, leaving Jacob to rot in the garage"

I laughed heartily, and Kim joined in. "Jared's funny isn't he?" I asked, amused.

"Not as funny as Jacob" she replied, smiling.

"That's true. I wonder how Jake took that"

"He threw book at Jared, and they wrestled on the floor. Lucky my parents weren't at home"

I chuckled. "But Jacob won in the end" she continued. "Jared's wasn't too happy about it"

"Why doesn't Jared want us to be friends?"

She pursed her lips, and didn't meet my gaze. "Apparently, he didn't want the same thing that happened with Emily and you, to happen to me. He asked me not to talk to you, unless it was absolutely necessary, and that it wasn't good for us to be friends. He also mentioned the fight yesterday. He didn't like it that Jacob was so rude to Sam and Emily, and that he disrespected an imprint. Sam had never done that, and neither had Jared, until they knew that you were his imprint. It hurt his sentiments, but he agreed that he would've probably reacted the same way, if anything like that happened to me. And also... after he saw you last night..." she paused. "He told me... he saw what you had been through and what you had to deal with. He was shocked at what he saw Bella. That's why... he wants to help you, and protect you. But he wants to protect me more, and make sure anything of that sort doesn't happen to me. He doesn't want me to suffer in anyway"

I felt a spasm of pain in my chest. Jared was really fair minded. I hadn't got a chance to know him, but he really did care about me, and took his duty seriously. Not to mention that he loved Kim. "I told him that we would be friends after you left, and he couldn't anything about it" she continued. "When he saw that I was happy, he was happy too. He was glad that I had someone to share my liking for literature. But he also warned me not to hurt you, or get hurt myself. He requested me not to get caught up in your pain"

My respect for Jared soared up high. Kim couldn't get a better partner. "He really loves you doesn't he?" I asked. She blushed hard and nodded. "And you love him too don't you?" I further questioned. She bent her head and nodded again. I was glad that at least another wolf girl would have a happy ending, just like Emily. "So, how did you meet?" I asked, trying to disregard the scorching pain in my chest. I was not really inquisitive, but I desperately needed a distraction. Her pink cheeks turned a few shades darker. "It's well... a silly sort of story" she stated, hiding her face. But with my encouragement, she was able to narrate her love story. Turns out that, Kim had a huge crush on Jared for a long time, and she even sat next to him in class. But he wouldn't even turn to look at her. Then, suddenly, after he transformed into a werewolf, he took one look at her, and well... couldn't stop staring. Kim apparently, was thrilled.

It was foolish of me to pick such an aversion to distract my aching heart, as her story reminded me a lot of my own. Her story was like a slap on my face. It reminded me of how Edward, during the first stages of our acquaintance, would ignore me in class, and pretend as if I didn't exist, and finally how he proclaimed his love for me after my months of misery and waiting. History repeated itself, but too quickly, and Kim recognized my change in body movements. "BELLA! WHAT DID I SAY? I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY!" she exclaimed, panicking. My body shook violently, and the automatic process continued.

_"Pull yourself together. For Jacob, for Jacob"_ chanted a voice in my head. A voice that hadn't had an existence in my defected brain, until today. I envisioned Jacob's warm, sunny smile, his woody scent, and his mirth. I felt warm vibes entering my body. I didn't understand why there was such an amorous feeling all over me. It eased my pain, instantly. It was as though Jacob was really here, hugging me, and soothing me. I could feel his touch, even though he was miles away, patrolling in the woods, his effect was visible. I felt an invisible Jacob, embracing me._ JACOB... _

He was comforting me through our imprint. Memories of our time in his garage, our hiking escapade, our enjoyable time while hunting for his parts in the dump, all came back to me. I was watching our happy life all over again. It was pleasurable and memorable, for both of us, where there was no pain and sorrow, just smiles and laughter. I could see Jacob, _my Jacob_, with his long hair and smiles. I immediately relaxed, and so did my body. Kim was astonished at the instant variation in my behaviour. She observed me cautiously. "Bella, are you alright?" she asked. It took me a little while to compose myself. I was aware that Jacob was conscious of the change in my emotions. I still enjoyed his tenderness, which he was sending with full force. Kim continued to stare at me, confused and terrified. It was only after a few minutes, did the warm feeling fade. I was sad to feel it disappear. I closed my eyes, and cherished the lingering tinges of warmth. I was finally able to pull myself together.

When I opened my eyes, the feeling was completely gone, and I felt at ease. "Thank you Jacob" I murmured, knowing that he could hear and feel my gratitude. Poor Kim looked ready to pass out. "It's alright Kim, I'm fine now" I stated. "Ar-re you sure?" she questioned diffidently. I nodded. "Don't worry, I'm fine now" I reassured. After she examined me, confirming that I was stating the authentic, and looked relieved. "Oh thank God Bella! You scared me for a moment there!" she said, breathless. "I'm sorry for making you worry. I assure you that won't happen again" I apologized. "You had me worried there. I thought that..." she began, looking apprehensive.

"That what happened with Emily, happened again?" I questioned. She nodded miserably. "I shouldn't have said all those things... I... it's all my fault!" she wailed. I was startled. "No! No! It was my fault! I shouldn't have asked you, knowing that... this would happen" I stated. We began apologizing to each other all over again. My feeble attempts to attempts to comfort her were of no avail. Kim turned hysterical, and began to cry. There was a role reversal, all of sudden, which seemed ironic. Then, Kim looked at me wide eyed, and soon began to have an outlandish look on her face. Her expression and body language varied constantly. I recognized her expression. Jared was doing the same thing Jacob did to relieve me. I couldn't help but smile at that. Then, the same warm feeling from earlier began to spread through my body. She began to smile too. We gazed at each other and smiled broadly, feeling alleviated. I could tell that we were going to be very good friends from now on.


	9. Chapter 9

_Disclaimer: I do not own twilight. If I did, would I be posting this fanfic? So I'm obviously not SM. I'm back in action as promised. College starts next month, so my update schedule might change, but I will definitely inform you all of the change. I'm writing another twilight story, which I will publish soon. Anyway, a big thank you to all my readers for your splendid reviews. I promise you the best is yet to come! The things you need to know about this chapter:_

_I slogged for two whole days continuously to finish this! Shocking, but true._

_There are parts of SM's work in this chapter_

_All your questions regarding this chapter will be answered in the next chapter. I'm sure they'll be millions, after you read it._

_If you have any queries regarding this chapter, kindly PM me._

_Kindly review _

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><p>Chapter 9 – Realization<p>

I was staring at the clock on the wall, as every second passed by. I was waiting for Charlie for the past one hour. He hadn't showed up at his usual time. I had already prepared dinner, and I was waiting. I began to worry, wondering what was causing his impediment. Another hour passed by. I ate dinner, and placed the rest in the refrigerator. Charlie showed up twenty minutes later, looking fatigued. He ate dinner hungrily, his expression perturbed. "Dad, what's wrong?"I asked, noticing his flustered face. "I had a meeting with the boys in the station today, that's why I'm late" he replied. "Meeting?" I questioned, surprised. "Yeah. We had to discuss about the wolf problem. It really doesn't make any sense. There are no killings these past few days, but these wolf tracks... they make no sense" he answered, gruffly. "Wolf tracks?" I repeated. He nodded. "These wolves, are roaming around the whole area Bells. Things are getting out of hand. These animals seem to be following some sort of pattern. They keep running around in circles" he elucidated, frowning.

I stared, shocked at the news. So Charlie and his men had noticed the Pack's pattern of patrolling. "We can't figure out their pattern. Their tracks are everywhere. They are near almost all the locations where we found the dead bodies" he explained, much to my relief. So Jake and the others had gone to inspect the dead bodies and Victoria's scent too. I shuddered at the thought of Victoria, springing a surprise attack on them. "Don't go out in the woods anymore Bells, and inform your friends too" warned Charlie. I nodded. I had no intention of going anywhere Victoria. Charlie didn't have any other information, and he looked exhausted, so he retired, and I followed. It was only a matter of time when Victoria would come back and attempt to kill me again. I pulled the quilt over my head and fell asleep.

It wasn't long until the nightmares returned. It had been too long since I hadn't had a nightmare. This time, I was in the deep forest, with wolf footprints all around me. I followed them, and then, I saw my russet wolf, standing quite far away, with the pack. They were growling ferociously, which surprised me. I realized that they weren't growling at me, but at someone standing behind me. I dared to turn around and look at the most vile, blood thirsty vampire, Victoria, lunging at the pack, and ripping them apart. "You're next Bella!" she said, savagely. I woke with a jolt, panting hard. So the nightmares were back again. Even Jacob couldn't keep the nightmares away. They would always come, not matter how hard I tried to forget. The shadow of my past would always haunt me. Until she was killed. It was still dark, and pitch black outside, and there wasn't a sound to be heard.

I lay down again, and fervently hoped that the dreams would stop, and I was really glad when I woke up the next morning. Charlie had left a note, stating that he had an early meeting. I drove to LaPush, trying to recall the route to Kim's place. I finally managed to find it. Kim greeted me warmly. "Mum's not at home, we can do whatever we want" she said, animatedly. I had brought a couple of books from my own collection for her. She eagerly received them and handed me a tray of cookies. I could see the sparkle in her eyes when she began reading. She had picked Pride and Prejudice, among three books I had given her. Her holiday homework was long forgotten. I began doing my Calculus homework in much distaste. It took me nearly all morning to finish a portion of it. Kim was still keenly reading, and she hadn't progressed too far in the story.

I didn't want to disturb her, so I continued doing Calculus. The boys didn't show up for lunch. "Hey Kim, isn't it lunch time? How come Jake and Jared aren't back yet?" I inquired. She looked up from her book, clearly lost in it, and glanced at the clock. It was well past twelve. "Why don't we have lunch?" she suggested. "They may be back soon". We ate lunch quietly. Kim was still reading, and barely touching her food, while I toyed around with my lasagna too. It was half past one, and the boys didn't show up yet. I began to worry. I didn't feel anything through our imprint either. "Kim, do you think the boys are in trouble?" I asked. "I don't think so. We would've known if they were. They're probably at Emily's sleeping. Sometimes Jared would be too tired to walk up here, so he would stay there. Why don't we go there?" she replied, calmly.

She could sense the panicky edge in my voice. I debated with myself whether it was good idea or not. If I clarified things with Emily today, she would stop blaming herself, and forgive me. But I wasn't quite ready to face her yet. "You should talk to Emily you know" advised Kim in her gentle voice. "I bet she still feels guilty for what she did. It would be good to sort things out". I nodded and got up. Kim brought the book with her as I drove to Emily's house. "It'll be alright Bella" assured Kim. I hoped that she was right. I rang the doorbell and I heard someone scurrying to the door and opening it in a hurry. I saw Emily's scarred face looking down at us. Her expression altered instantly, as she gazed at me. "Oh Kim, Bella. It's you, come in" she invited. Both of us sensed the tension in her voice. I entered and closed the door behind me. I desperately looked around for Jacob. Kim and Emily began chatting, so I guess they were good acquaintances. The boys weren't around anywhere.

I could feel Emily's uncomfortable stature. Her gaze flickered towards me every now and then; Kim continued her conversation with Emily, pretending to be oblivious. "Emily, why haven't the boys come back yet?" I asked, worriedly, forgetting my awkwardness. "I don't know. I guess they'll be here soon" she replied, making eye contact with me for the first time. I guess she sensed the disquiet in my voice. "Jared's right you know Bella, you're a worry wart" teased Kim, snickering. "If you keep worrying at this rate, you'll have premature grey hair, or be bald by the end of the year". For a moment, I forgot my anxiety. "Why does everyone keep saying that?" I demanded, aggravated. "First Jacob, and now you". "Because it's true" mused Emily, giggling. "You worry too much Bella". "That's right, Jared and the others sometimes show up late, or sometimes don't show up at all until midnight" stated Kim, smiling. "You should have some faith in them"

"I do. It's just that..." I began, and my thoughts wandered off. "There she goes again, Emily. Our worry wart Bella" said Kim, sighing. Emily chuckled. I gave her a sour look. "Come on Bella, loosen up a little bit. Have fun" advised Kim. "Or do you want to prove Jared's theory of you being a boring nerd?"she challenged. I was taken by surprise at the news. I assumed that the pack would've known all my dangerous exploits by rummaging through Jacob's thoughts. They surely would've informed their imprints about it."Hey! I can be fun!" I insisted. "Sure, we'll ask Jacob how fun you really are" she taunted. I quirked up an eyebrow. "Well Bella, why don't you prove to me and Emily how fun you really are" she continued. "How?" I asked, mystified. "By telling us your idea of fun" she replied. That got me thinking. "Well, I guess reading is fun" I began. Emily snickered, but Kim's eyes lightened up. "Cooking is fun" I continued, and instantly, Emily's expression mirrored Kim's. "Hiking is fun, fixing cars and motorcycles is fun" I continued, enjoying the shocked and amazed stares on both their faces. "And... riding motorcycles is really fun" I finished. Both the girls gaped, their mouths wide open.

I smirked, basking in my fully attained glory. "Riding motorcycles? Fixing cars?" repeated Emily, admiringly. "Gee Bella, I didn't know you had that in you" she said, her tone full of amazement and wonder. "Me too. I didn't ever think you could do all that" gushed Kim, her tone, exactly like Emily's. "Where'd you learn all that Bella?" questioned Emily, curious. I blushed. "Well... I hung out with Jake a lot, and well, he taught me how to ride a motorbike and stuff" I replied, hiding my gaze. "Wow" said Emily in awe. "No wonder you and Jake are so close. You have a lot in common". I couldn't disagree with Emily, because I went to Jake with those bikes, and ended up shopping for parts, and even helping him fix it, so she wasn't exactly wrong.

"You can fix cars Bella? Really?" asked Kim, delighted. "Well... not exactly. Jake did most of the work. I just helped around, like you know handing him the parts, helping him find them" I replied, honestly. "Well at least you can differentiate between the parts. I can't even do that" said Kim remorsefully. "Jared finds it very disappointing". "At least you know the names of the parts; I don't have a clue about it. Sam used to go on all day about cars" stated Emily, remorseful as Kim. I laughed. The other two discussed what would be fun, and turns out that Kim and Emily were both fond of shopping and sleepovers, and found it fun. "We'll all have a sleepover" promised Kim. "I desperately need a girl's night out" I nodded. It had been a long time since I had a girl's night out.

Emily offered us lunch, but we declined. "Would you like to help me bake a cake?" asked Emily. Both Kim and I brightened up, and began helping her. I accidently knocked down the flour bowl, and spent a long time cleaning it, and Kim began teasing me all over again, while Emily watched in amusement. Kim accidently dropped the baking powder, and most of it landed on my feet, and some on my hair. "This is what you're gonna look like in one year Bella" taunted Kim, both the girls laughed, while I glared at them. She refused to clean the mess, and instead she began throwing baking power at me and Emily, and a huge fight broke out between the three of us. In the end, the baking bowl was left forgotten on the counter, and we ended up looking like off-white ghosts.

Kim sped off to the bathroom to get cleaned, while I helped Emily replace all the utensils. "She's really playful isn't she? I never knew she had it in her" I stated, placing the bowl on the right side of the counter. Emily had her back turned against me, and was washing the dishes. "Yes, she's rarely in such a good mood. May be you had something to do with it" she replied, amused. I stared at her back, sighing. "Emily, I'm sorry" I said, in a small voice, looking at the bowl in my hands. "I'm sorry you had to go through that. I know that you were only trying to help. None of it is your fault". I heard the sound of water gushing from the tap. Uncomfortable silence engulfed us. "It's alright Bella" she finally said. "It wasn't your fault to apologize for. I shouldn't have been prying in your personal matters. I unnecessarily hurt both you and Jacob. I should've let you and Jacob handle the whole thing, instead of butting in like that. I'm sorry". I noticed that she still had her back turned.

"I knew that you were trying to help, and I should've..." I began. "No Bella!" she interjected. "It was all my entire fault! If I had known that you were going to react in such a way, I would've never brought it up, I swear!" I stared at her. "But... when I saw you like that, I couldn't...no, I can't believe that anyone would do such a thing" she choked, shuddering. "Even after it happened, I can't believe that anyone could hurt you or anyone else to that extent". She dropped the vessel, and it fell into the sink with a huge clang. "I just can't believe he did that to you Bella! How could he?" she demanded. I was alarmed at her strident tone. "I will never forgive him for doing that to you Bella! I'll never forgive any of them! They have no right to subject you to such pain and torture!" she yelled, turning around. I was shocked to see her teary eyes, filled with disgust and abhorrence.

"They don't deserve clemency Bella! Sam's right! They should all die!" she screeched, her eyes flashing with anger. I was scared now. I had never seen Emily like this before. In the few days I had got to know, she never seemed the kind of person who would hate someone. I had brought that out of her too. I began shivering involuntarily, and her expression altered. "Bella! I'm sorry so sorry! I shouldn't have said that!" she exclaimed, rushing over to me. She rubbed my back, simultaneously began begging for my forgiveness.

When I calmed down, I leaned against the kitchen counter. "I'm alright now, Emily. You needn't worry" I assured. "I did it again didn't I?" she demanded, anxious and pained. Somehow, she reminded me a lot of Jacob, right now. "You don't have to hate anyone on my account Emily" I said, gazing into her angst filled irises. I took in a deep breath. "Don't hate them please Emily. It's not their fault. It's not his fault either. It's just that I'm so weak and..."

"Stop that!" snapped Emily. I was taken aback at the rage in her tone. "Stop blaming yourself! None of this is your fault Bella!" she exclaimed, grabbing my shoulders. She brought her face to my level and her eyes bore into mine. I was really beginning to feel afraid of this new Emily. "Sam heard Jacob's thoughts Bella. He brought you back that day from the woods. What he saw, it scares him even today Bella. And it wasn't a pretty sight. He saw what _he _did to you. He told me about it. The whole pack saw the atrocious sight after they phased. Sam thinks about it even today Bella!" she stated gravely. I stared wide eyed.

"You scared everyone Bella. Especially your Mom and Charlie. I heard Billy telling Sam that you weren't getting better, and how Charlie worried about you all day. It scared him Bella. He thought that you were going insane! Is it worth putting your father through all that torture? Can't you just move on? Can't you try to forget about _him_? Is _he_ worth all this wallowing and withering?" she continued, her eyes burning with anger, and her expression mirroring the emotion in her eyes.

I stared frozen, unable to think. "And what about Jacob, Bella? Don't care you care about him? Don't you know how much it hurts him to see you like this? He was miserable when you were apart for those few weeks Bella. And after you imprinted, Sam thought he was going to die with the separation" she stated, scaring me, as I comprehended the information. "Do you want Jacob to suffer too? Can't you even attempt to come out of your desolation?" she demanded, still livid.

Her question stung. Her words had true facts in them. So my facade hadn't fooled Charlie at all, or anyone else. Sam, Emily, Jacob, and the pack... they knew what I was going through. They had seen it all. The weakest and darkest phase of my life. I stared at her blankly. "For God's sake Bella! Pull yourself together, would you?" she scolded, shaking me hard. "You're killing him Bella! You're killing everyone! Charlie, Jacob, your Mom, Billy, Sam, the pack... _please _try to get over it! He's not coming back!" she shouted.

Those four words sent electric shocks all over my body. _He's not coming back. _"Don't you think that if he really loved you, he would've come back by now? If he claimed to love as much as he did, they why hasn't he shown up and begged for your forgiveness? Why hasn't he bothered to contact you, if he really cared, or check up on you at all?" she demanded furiously. I couldn't move my body an inch. Her words made deeper cuts on my almost healing heart. "None of this is your fault. It's his entire fault. So stop tormenting yourself and others too, and move on" she concluded. She sighed, tired. "Look Bella, things will be so much better if you tried. I mean really tried, without reminiscing your past. Live in the present Bella, not wallowing in the shadow of your past" she advised. "Do you understand Bella?" she asked, jerking me out of my pain.

The whole in my chest ripped right open, and this time, my hands weren't enough to hold the pain. I stood, frozen, like a statue. "You're willing to help me even after all I've done to you? After all those mean things Jacob said to you?" I asked, in a trance. "Yes" she replied curtly. "But why?" I whispered. "Because I care about you Bella. You and Jacob both. I love him like a brother, and you're his imprint, and I've got know you these past few days, and I think you're a really nice person" she stated. My body felt numb, and I couldn't react. "You're so lucky to have Jacob. What would've happened if he hadn't imprinted on you? Or what if h had imprinted on someone else?"

Those words stung as much as the most hurtful fact she had stated. My breathing hitched up, distracting the horrendous pain in my chest. I comprehended her words. The horrific possibility of Jacob not imprinting on me seemed unbelievable to me. If he hadn't imprinted, he would've continued to ignore me, my life would've been the way it was before I began spending time with him. I would've become the same zombie Bella. I couldn't have lasted a day longer without Jacob. It was a blessing that he hadn't imprinted on someone else. Otherwise, I would've been devastated. There would be no Jacob to fix me back anymore.

"You're right" I whispered. Emily seemed satisfied with my response. "You and Jacob are bound together Bella. You're soul mates" she stated. "You were meant to be together from the very beginning. With or without the imprint. I know he loved you before the imprint, and now, he loves you even more, except his feelings have greater potent than before. He hasn't changed at all. He's still the same old Jacob" she stated perceptively. She was absolutely right. "Only the imprint has an effect on both of you, which changes minor details in your relationship. Sam told me how it was before Jacob changed. He cared about you the same way he cares now. He hasn't changed. Sam hasn't changed him Bella, _you have_. So stop accusing Sam of anything. He's only trying to help Jacob". A small part of my mind, realized that she was aware of my accusations. "Jacob said that while arguing with Sam the other day" she revealed, recognizing the expression on my face. "He told Sam that he was turning into to someone who you didn't like, and he had begun to hate himself too" she continued, her gaze piercing through mine.

I could tell that she was irate with me right now. She had every reason to detest me. I had caused her and Sam redundant pain. "Why do you keep blaming Sam? He's done nothing wrong! He's always tried to help Jacob and the others! If you want to blame anyone, blame_ them_" she yelled, her voice raising a few octaves. I stared back frightened. These were the exact same words Jacob had told me that fateful morning. "If it weren't for them, Sam wouldn't have to go through so much pain" she screeched, tears threatening to fall from her eyes.

"I'm sorry Emily! It's all my fault!" I wailed, suddenly finding my voice. I embraced her tightly and sobbed into her chest. She didn't return the embrace. "You're right! It's my fault! I hurt everyone! I've been so selfish! How could I be so insensitive?" I exclaimed horrified at myself. "Jacob! And Jacob! I'll die without him Emily!" My voice was loud yet muffled. "I need him Emily! I need him to keep me whole! I'm broken!"

She stood there, her body rigid. I could tell that she was still furious. "I'm a horrible person! I deserve bad things to happen to me! I want to die! How could I do such things? I'm not worth Jacob at all! He deserves someone better! How could I do this to Jacob, Charlie and Renee?" I wept hard into her chest. As my sobs and wails grew louder, she rubbed my back, attempting to comfort me. My screams grew louder, and I had soaked her shirt. This time, she held me tight, and encouraged me to let it all out.

I screamed and sobbed drowning in the sea of my melancholy. "Jacob! Jacob!" I choked. "How could I do that to him? Especially when he needs me! How can I be so self-centred? I never thought how he and Charlie would feel when they saw me like that!" I said, out of breath. I wallowed in her arms, letting out all my sorrows. I didn't know how long I suppurated like that. "Emily! What's wrong with her?" came Kim's panicked voice. She was suddenly silenced by Emily. I didn't realize the strength of my vocal chords, until today. I hadn't realized the extent of pain I had hidden inside me either.

All those painful memories, those words he told me in the woods, and those terrifying nightmares, all came back to me. Both of them were alarmed now. I found myself in Kim's arms, and I didn't realize how I had got there. I missed Emily's warm, motherly embrace. But Kim made up for it. Though her hug wasn't that comforting, I felt soothed. She helped me sit on the couch, as I wept on her shoulder. She remained quiet, as instructed by Emily I suppose. Finally, both girls helped me go to the bathroom, to get cleaned up. I stood in the shower, as the water poured my face in the shower, the tears flowed simultaneously. I recalled Emily's words, _he's not coming back. _

I realized what she said was authentic. If he really loved me, he would've come back for me. He would've come to protect me from Victoria. He would've come back and asked for my forgiveness, if I really meant that much to him, as he had claimed in the meadow, where he confessed his love. So, it was obvious that I was not important to him anymore. _"Of course, I'll always love you… in a way. But what happened the other night made me realize that it's time for a change. Because I'm… tired of pretending to be something I'm not, Bella. I am not human." He looked back, and the icy planes of his perfect face were not human. "I've let this go on much too long, and I'm sorry for that." _

So he was tired of letting it go on for so long? So he was pretending? Pretending all this time that he loved me? The truth dawned to me. So I was just another distraction then. For the first time in seventeen years, I saw myself for who I am. I saw myself through Edward's eyes. A puny, fragile human. Then, I saw what Edward really was. A cold, thirsty, blood sucking vampire. Not the beautiful, flawless, kind man, sparkling in the sun. He had caused me and Jacob so much pain. Pain that wasn't ours to suffer. And not to mention hurt the pack and Emily. People who had nothing to do with the vampires. They were all innocent people who lived their normal lives until the vampires showed up. Their brief stay in Forks has caused immeasurable and irrevocable damage.

They were what made Sam despise himself. They were the reason why Leah hated Sam and Emily. They were the cause of everyone's unhappiness. Mine, Jacob's, Sam's, Emily's, Leah's and the pack's too. _It will be as though I never existed._ His words echoed through my head. It was too late for that now. Their mere presence had changed the lives of many, not to mention in an atrocious and irreversible way. Their disappearance now, made no difference. Like Jacob had stated, the damage was done. There was nothing I could or anyone could do now. It was all over. Their lives had turned upside down. The damage was done beyond repair.

"Emily! Look what you've done now! She was just getting better! Now she's gone insane all over again! WHAT WILL WE DO IF SHE DOES SOMETHING TO HERSELF?" yelled Kim, turbulent. I shrivelled in pain as the cold water splashed all over my body. I tuned out Emily's response and frantic calls. _He wasn't coming back. He won't come back_. I was desperately clinging on to someone who didn't care about me at all. He was gone. Gone forever. It was all a lie. A complete lie. All his words, his promises, his gestures and even his feelings...

All those times he that he told me he loved me, all those hugs and kisses... they were all lies. A pretense he had put on. Just like his humanity. I began to wail vociferously testing the strength of my vocal cords, until, I couldn't scream anymore. The huge hole in my chest hurt more than ever. Emily's words had ripped it open, and Jacob's attempt to fill the void was squandered. The harsh truth my unconscious mind was trying so hard to push away, finally comprehended the ruthless facts Emily had stated so callously.

All those facts which I hadn't realized, which I didn't analyze, which I buried deep in my hole seemed to cause the kind of agonizing pain, which I had never felt before. My eyes involuntarily closed, and I could only feel the water dripping all over my body. I didn't acknowledge the commotion going on outside. I stayed there, numb, and dead inside. I involuntarily felt my eyes closing, and I lost consciousness. When I woke up, I was shivering. It took me a moment to realize that I was on the bathroom floor, freezing.

It took me great effort to get up. My knees felt wobbly, and I stopped the shower water from flowing. I wrapped the towel around myself and opened the door. I found a pair of clothes in Emily's bedroom, and I quickly changed. I quietly made my way to the hall, where I caught a glimpse of Emily and Kim sitting on the couch, looking forlorn. "Kim, Emily" I croaked, shocked at my own voice. They instantly snapped up from their thoughts and rushed up to me. They helped me sit on the couch, and Emily prepared some hot cocoa for me. I drank it all up, and it felt really good, for my aching throat. "How are you feeling?" asked Emily hesitantly. "I'm..." I began, trying to find my voice. "I'm sorry Bella. I hurt you again didn't I? I shouldn't have said all those mean things to you" she apologized. It was evident that she had cried too. Her red, puffy eyes proved it. "I hope you can forgive me". I looked at her scarred face, and this time, I saw only penitence.

"No. What you said was true. All of it" I stated, in an audible whisper. "I should've realized by now. He's not coming back. He doesn't love me". Kim rubbed my back. I observed that she too had cried. "Did you let it all out?" asked Emily, cautiously. I nodded. I currently felt anaesthetized. Emotionless. I had used up all my pain and energy to mourn. "Did Jacob help you feel better?" asked Kim gently. Emily furrowed her eyebrows in confusion. Then, the thought struck me. Yesterday, Jacob instantly cured me, when I was grieving. But today, there was no sign of him at all. He didn't give me the warm fuzzy feeling I needed so badly.

"No, he didn't" I replied. "I don't why. He should've felt all my emotions. There were very strong. He should've comforted me, but he didn't. And you know, I don't feel his emotions either" I revealed, realizing for the first time, that something was wrong. "Kim, Emily do you feel anything through your imprints? Have you felt anything at all today?" I asked, desperately. They shook their heads. "Not a thing. Usually Sam keeps his emotions well under control after the... accident" admitted Emily, not looking at me. "And Jared is always calm" stated Kim. "I usually don't feel his emotions that much either. Unless they're very strong, but that's only very rarely".

"So... then, you're saying that my emotions today weren't that's strong? That's impossible!" I demanded incredulously . The emotions I felt today were more than just strong. They were very intoxicating. I hadn't had such an emotional breakdown until today. Even the pain I felt two days ago was nothing compared to what I felt a few minutes ago. Didn't Jacob feel it then? He would've rushed to cure me, if he knew that I was in a mess. That meant only one thing. _Jacob was in trouble._ The present situation dawned to me. "Emily! Kim! Jacob's in trouble!" I exclaimed frantically. "We have to go help him!" "Bella! What's wrong?" asked Emily, baffled. "And what are you and Kim talking about?"

"Jacob!" I spluttered. "Jacob's in trouble!" "How do you know?" she questioned. "Because we can feel each other's emotions. Emily, whenever I was upset, Jacob would sense it through our imprint, and comfort me! Today he didn't! Surely he would've felt my emotions! I'm sure that something's wrong with him!" I answered panicking. Kim looked terrified too. "She's right Emily. Jared would've felt my anxiety for Bella too. Yesterday, he and Jacob comforted me and Bella! He would've done the same today! Something's gone wrong! The pack's in trouble" she reasoned.

Emily was enlightened by our words, and turned hysterical. "No wonder they haven't shown up for lunch! They must be caught up with the vampire!" she exclaimed worried. "Oh Emily! What should we do?" Kim asked, her eyes filled with angst. "We could tell Billy or the council" I suggested. "No Bella" said Emily firmly. "If Sam and the others are out hunting Victoria, then its better we stay inside and you safe. She could be lurking around nearby. It's now _my duty_ to keep you safe".

The very thought of Victoria prowling nearby scared me. I fervently hoped that the pack were strong enough to handle her. Those fiery red eyes sent shivers down my spine. Emily instructed me and Kim to lock all the doors and windows. Until she was assured that all the doors and windows were fastened and shut, she didn't let me out of her sight. We dragged all the chairs to the front and back doors placing them as protection, and on her insistence, we closed all the curtains. The house looked dark and quiet now. "Something tells me the pack's not safe right now" said Kim, in a distressed tone.

"I know. We have to protect Bella. She could be anywhere, for all we know. I'm sure the pack's chasing her right now" said Emily, gripping a broom in her hand. "Uh Emily's what's the broom for?" I questioned, naively. "A broom isn't going to scare a vampire away". "No, I'm not done sweeping the floor yet" she replied. I almost laughed out in relief. As I acknowledged this feeling, in spite of wallowing over my pain a few minutes ago, and coming to realize that Jacob was hunting Victoria, at this very moment to speak, I had the urge to laugh. I was really going insane, if that possible, since I already was insane.

I suddenly realized something very important, that I had been missing. These past few days I spent with Jacob, Emily and Kim, had left a deep impression on me. I couldn't comprehend how that was plausible, since I had got to know all of them a few days ago. Except for Jacob, the rest of them were strangers to me. I sat next to Kim, on the couch, thinking hard about this theory. Then, after a long while, I felt a wave of emotion rush through me. I almost fell down the couch, if Kim hadn't steadied me. She too was quivering, and Emily dropped her broom. She leaned on the table, and finally sat down, placing her head in her hands.

So I was right then. The pack had finally caught a lead on Victoria. For the next three hours, all three of us, were experiencing our imprinters high range of panic and anger. I swayed from side to side, unable to bear Jacob's emotions. Jacob must be going for Victoria with all his energy, unaware of the danger he was in. I heard Emily groan, while Kim was the only one who wasn't having it bad as the both of us. Jared wasn't as emotional as Jake or Sam. But she too looked pale. Finally, when the emotions disappeared, and I felt relief wash over me. Apparently Jacob was conflicting with all his emotions a while ago.

Some of his frustration still lingered on my body. Something was wrong. I jumped out of my skin, when I heard someone banging the door loudly. Emily looked startled, while Kim turned sallow at the noise. Emily made no move to open the door. The banging grew louder, and the person kept calling for Emily. Kim gripped the pillow in fear, and I sat petrified. "Emily! Open the door quick! You've got to come to the Clearwater's! It's Harry" called a muffled voice, banging the door frantically. Emily began debating with herself. It could be a trap, but how would Victoria know anything about Emily's personal life or the Clearwaters?

"Emily! Drat! She must in the toilet or something" muttered a voice. "May be she's not home" said another voice. Emily immediately rushed to the door and dragged the chair away, much to my amazement. She threw open the door, and I saw two Quileute children standing in the doorway, a boy and a girl. The boy looked frustrated and panicked. "Emily! Thank God! You've got to come quickly! Harry's got a heart attack!" said the girl, frenetic. The news shocked me. Harry Clearwater was one of my Dad's best friends. Poor Harry.

"Oh Uncle Harry! Oh no!" exclaimed Emily in horror. "Sue sent us to get you, hurry up!" said the boy. Emily immediately turned to go, when it dawned to her that she would have to leave us alone. "Go Emily!" I urged. "Harry needs you!" "I'll take care of her, you don't worry" encouraged Kim. "Bring them along!" said the boy. "Charlie is already there in the hospital". So Charlie was there then. "No, I can't" she muttered. "Hurry Emily! Sue needs you!" pressed the girl. Both Kim and I persuaded her to go, and she almost ran out of the door, yelling, "Be careful".

I shut the door and bolted it, replacing the chair. "Poor Harry" I mumbled, sadly. "Poor Sue". Kim nodded. "Poor Leah and Seth, they're so young" she sympathized. It must be a big blow for them. Today seemed a bad day for everyone. I had my breakdown, and Victoria chose to show up today, just when Harry had a heart attack. He was one of Charlie's and Billy's best friend. They were practically family. I prayed that he would recover soon.

Both of us sat in silence, lost in our own thoughts. It was dark now, and I didn't dare to switch on the light. My body was fixed on the couch, constant feeling fear dominating my other emotions. Kim didn't want the light on, either. We sat there like that, in the darkness. It seemed so ironic to me that, this was how my life was, when Edward had left me. Empty and black. The shrill sound of the phone ringing, snapped me out of my doleful thoughts. I quietly made my way to the phone, groping for it in the darkness.

"H- hell-lo" I stammered. "Bella! It's Emily" said the frantic voice on the other end. "Oh Emily!" I exclaimed in relief. "Bella!" her tone sounded dreadful and petrified. "Bella, I just spoke to Sam, he's in the hospital with me, and so is the pack. He's helping Sue, so he couldn't tell me much. Victoria escaped again. He can give me any details. There are people around. No matter what you do, don't open the door" she warned, hysterical. "Wait until Jacob comes to get you. Don't go anywhere. Be careful Bella. Keep Kim safe. No matter what you do, don't open the door"

I was as petrified as earlier. So Victoria had escaped again, and was still lurking around. "Aaa-lright" I stuttered. "I won't be back until midnight. So be careful. Bye" she informed, and replaced the receiver. I could barely whisper a response to her. I quivered in trepidation. "Bella, what's wrong?" asked Kim. "It's, it's Victoria. She escaped again" I stammered, unable to breath. I was having palpitations. "Emily called to warn me not to open the door, and wait until Jake comes to get us" I breathed in fear. Sweat trickled down my forehead. My eyes were wide in fear, and my hand shook as I replaced the receiver.

"Oh no" said Kim dismayed. Both us trembled. My whole body shook violently, as I made my way back to the couch. I grabbed Kim's shivering, sweaty hand into mine and we snuggled closer to each other. Both our bodies vibrated involuntarily. We would have to wait till Jacob came back. Even while breathing, I heard my own breath quavering. "When will Jacob come for us?" whispered Kim, stammering. "I don't know. Emily didn't mention what time. She just instructed us to wait" I whispered back. "Bella, I'm scared" she said, her tone, filled with fear and misery. "I want to go home"

Then, a thought struck me. If Victoria was prowling around, then she would definitely hurt Kim too. "Kim, why don't you go home?" I suggested, gulping. If Victoria was around, then she couldn't attack Kim if she went home, and I could keep her safe. Even in the darkness, I could see Kim's amazed expression. "No Bella, I can't leave you here alone" she argued. "No Kim, vampires can smell our blood from miles away. She'll know you're here with me, and she might kill you too. So it's safer if you went home" I countered. Hearing the news, tears flew down Kim's face. "She'll kill me too?" she asked, whispering, terrified. "I hope not" I whispered back.

A knock on the scared the living daylights out of us. Kim stifled a scream, and I doubted that I could do the same. It was over. Victoria had found me. I grasped Kim's hand in anticipation._ It could be anyone_, my rational mind reasoned. It could be Jacob or someone from the pack too. Kim grasped my hand tighter, as tremors of panic rocked through my body.

Then, it hit me. If it was Victoria, she wouldn't bother to knock. She would just break the door down with her incalculable strength. On the other hand, if it was Emily, she would announce her arrival, and she stated that she wouldn't be back until midnight. So, it had to be someone from the pack. I swallowed. But Emily had stated that the pack was in the hospital with her, only a few moments ago. So it meant that...Victoria was here.

The information almost stopped my heart beat. She wouldn't break the door. She knows that I was only inches from the door, and she wanted me to be afraid, and as Laurent had stated, she planned to make my death a painful process. So she wanted me to be scared to death, and start killing me slowly. I knew that she wouldn't spare Kim. The miniature hope that I possessed, of the possibility that the pack had finished her off, was torn to shreds. The knocking grew louder and louder.

"Kim, go upstairs and bolt the door" I murmured in her ear. Kim looked at me, alarmed. "Go, before she gets you too" I ordered. "But Bella..." she began. I shoved her, and waited until I heard her lock the door. The person began banging the door. Now, I confirmed that it was Victoria, on the other side. She would break the door down if I didn't open it. My body trembled in fear. I slowly made my way to the door. What was the point of stalling, knowing that death was approaching me? In a fraction of a second, my life would be over. She had probably led the pack on a false trail, and effortlessly escaped their clutches. Now, none of them were around to save me. I quietly put the chair away. I grabbed the door knob, my hands quivering. I trembled, as I turned it. "Bella? Bella, honey, you there? Open the door" called a voice I knew too well.

I threw open the door, and there, I saw Jacob was standing in the door way, his handsome face looking worn out in the bright moonlight. He was dead on his feet. "Oh! Oh ! Jacob!" I choked as soon as I could breathe. "Jacob!" I lounged at him, and slammed hard in to his chest, and hugged him tightly around his waist, since I couldn't reach his neck. I tried to wound my arms around his waist completely, in a desperate attempt to hold him closer. "Jacob! Oh Jacob" I exclaimed in relief. He hugged me back with equal potent, and his warm soothing embrace gave me instant relief. "Bella honey, what's wrong?" he asked, worried. "Are you alright?"

"You're really here!" I exclaimed, dismissing his question. "Yes honey, I'm here. Calm down" he comforted, patting my head. It took me a few minutes to calm myself down, and with Jacob's help, I finally gained composure. "You're alright" I breathed, looking up at his sad face. "I'm fine honey. Just a little tired though" he stated. "Bells, why's the house so dark? Didn't you switch on the light?" he questioned. Then, I remembered. "Oh Jake! I was so scared. I thought Victoria was here!" I answered, panting. He rubbed my shoulder, trying to ease me. "Come on, honey. Let's get you in. You're freezing" he said and led me inside the dark house. He switched on the light and the room looked so much bigger all of a sudden. "Where's Kim?" he asked, looking around. "I thought she was with you". "She's upstairs" I replied. I quickly ran up the stairs and beckoned her to come downstairs; assuring her that there was no danger. She slowly opened the door, and looked instantly comforted, when she saw me. She joined us downstairs, and we sat at the table.

"What the hell were you doing upstairs Kim? And why does the house look like cemetery? It's so dark and quiet! Why didn't you switch on the lights?" he asked, frowning. "It's alright Jake. I told Kim to hide upstairs. We thought you were Victoria. I thought that we could trick her into thinking that I wasn't here. It was foolish of me though. She could smell my blood from miles away" I replied, grateful of his presence. Kim sighed in relief too.

"Victoria?" he asked surprised. "She took off into the water" he stated. "I'm sure she wouldn't come back. Jared, Embry and Paul are still patrolling. We're pretty sure she took off. She won't be back for another few days". Both Kim and I looked at each other blankly. "But Emily told us that she escaped. She didn't tell us anything else. She ordered us not to open the door" I said, mystified. "Emily?" he questioned, perplexed. "She told me that she had called you, and mentioned that Kim was with you. But I'm sure that Sam would've told her that the red head escaped"

"She did. She warned me not to open the door, so I assumed that she was still lurking around"

His frowned, baffled. "That's odd Bella. If she escaped, she wouldn't come back so soon, knowing that we almost had her"

Now, it was my turn to be confused. "Then if she knew that Victoria escaped, then why would she ask me to not open the door?"

Both Kim and Jacob shrugged. "May be she misunderstood what Sam said or something" offered Jake.

"Yes, but it doesn't seem likely" I stated, narrowing my eyebrows in bewilderment.

"Well, Emily looked down in dumps, because of Harry, so she probably misinterpreted what Sam said" he mused. Both Kim and I looked worried now. "Is he going to be alright?" I asked, concerned. "I don't know. The doctor said he's in a critical state. His chances of surviving the attack is not possible" replied Jake, desolately. "Aw Jake, I'm sorry. It'll be okay" I said, placing my hand on his cheek. Jake loved Harry like a father. "Jake, when will Jared be back?" asked Kim timidly. He turned to her and shrugged. "He's still patrolling around the area. It'll be a while. Don't worry. He's just checking to make sure that she doesn't try a sneak attack on us. I highly doubt"

"Oh. Alright then" she said. Jacob looked dog tired, I observed . "Would you like something to eat?" I asked. He nodded. "I haven' eaten all day" he stated. "I'm starving". Kim and I heated the food in the refrigerator and Jake gulped down all of it, in mere seconds. "Why don't you get some sleep? We'll be here if you need anything" I offered. He shook his head. "We haven't caught the bloodsucker yet. I have to take you home and get back to patrolling. Sam's orders"

"But you look exhausted" Kim and I said in unison.

"I'll get some sleep later" he said, stifling a yawn.

"You can rest now and patrol later" I urged. I couldn't bear to look at him like this.

"Bella's right Jake. You need some rest. You look awful" said Kim, helpfully.

He looked at both of us. "I wish I could, but it's the Alpha's orders. I'll rest after I drop you two home"

My face turned sour. "I can go home alone" I stated obstinately. "I'll drop Kim too", who looked relieved when I said this. "Come on Kim, let's get you home. Then I'll drop you home Bella" he said, getting up. I knew that I had lost the battle. We closed the door and climbed into my truck. I bickered with Jake and insisted that I drive, since he looked dead beat, and I also mentioned the fact that it was _my_ truck. I drove to Kim's and her mother welcomed her, looking furious and worried.

"Kim! Where have you been all day? I come home and I find the house empty! I was worried sick!" scolded Mrs. Franer. She stuttered and stammered while explaining the cause of her absence, with mine and Jacob's assistance. She seemed astonished to find him shirtless. He brushed aside her question of his evident skin show, giving silly excuses. However, Mrs. Franer was too preoccupied with Kim to notice Jake's half nudeness for long. I bid goodbye to Kim, and drove back.

"Jake, why don't I stay here in LaPush?" I suggested. "I'm sure Charlie won't be home yet. Billy may be home soon and he may need you, and you look like you need some rest too". Jacob was dozing off in the truck. "Alright. You can stay" he said yawning. I drove to the Black's residence, and forced Jacob to sleep on his bed, before he crashed on the couch. I helped him upstairs, and he was asleep the second his head touched the pillow. I sat there, staring at him. The house was darker now than before, and it was black outside the window. I was stiff, but warm. The inside of my throat burned with every breath I took. I had cried deafeningly today, and my throat hurt.

The panic attack, and divergence of emotions, was too much for me to handle in one day. I was emotionally exhausted, which led to my physical exhaustion. I went to the living room and laid on the couch. For the first time in a very long time, my dream was just a normal dream. Just a blurred wandering through old memories—blinding bright visions of the Phoenix sun, my mother's face, a ramshackle tree house, a faded quilt, a wall of mirrors … I forgot each of them as soon as the picture changed.

The last picture was the only one that stuck in my head. It was meaningless—just a set on a stage. A balcony at night, a painted moon hanging in the sky. I watched the girl in her nightdress lean on the railing and talk to herself.

Meaningless… but when I slowly struggled back to consciousness, Juliet was on my mind. I thought about her some more.

I wondered what she would have done if Romeo had left her, not because he was banished, but because he lost interest in her. What if Rosaline had given him the time of day, and he'd changed his mind? What if, instead of marrying Juliet, he'd just disappeared?

I thought I knew how Juliet would feel. She wouldn't go back to her old life, not really. She wouldn't ever have moved on, I was sure of that. Even if she'd lived until she was old and gray, every time she closed her eyes, it would have been Romeo's face she saw behind her lids. She would have accepted that, eventually. I wondered if she would have married Paris in the end, just to please her parents, to keep the peace. No, probably not, I decided. But then, the story didn't say much about Paris. He was just a stick figure—a placeholder, a threat, a deadline to force her hand.

What if there were more to Paris?

What if Paris had been Juliet's friend? Her very best friend? What if he was the only one she could confide in about the whole devastating thing with Romeo? The same way I had done with Jacob. I had confided all the secrets of my relationship with Edward. All my pain, sorrow, and desolation, all of it. What if Paris was the one person who really understood her and made her feel halfway human again? What if he was patient and kind? What if he took care of her? What if Juliet knew she couldn't survive without him? What if he really loved her, and wanted her to be happy?

And… what if she loved Paris? Not like Romeo. Nothing like that, of course. But enough that she wanted him to be happy, too? I sighed, and then groaned when the sigh scraped my throat. I was reading too much into the story.

Romeo wouldn't change his mind. That's why people still remembered his name, always twined with hers:

Romeo and Juliet. That's why it was a good story. "Juliet gets dumped and ends up with Paris" would have never been a hit.

I closed my eyes and drifted again; letting my mind wander away from the stupid play I didn't want to think about anymore. I thought about reality instead—about the motorcycles and the whole irresponsible Evel Knievel bit. What if something bad happened to me? What would that do to Charlie? Harry's heart attack had pushed everything suddenly into perspective for me. Perspective that I didn't want to see, because—if I admitted to the truth of it—it would mean that I would have to change my ways. Could I live like that?

Yes, I could, if I had Jacob. But if I hadn't done all those things, I wouldn't have gotten to know Jacob. I would've lived like a zombie for another couple of months, and Charlie would've probably packed me off to Jacksonville, and Mom would've made sure that I would consult a psychiatrist.

I shuddered at the thought. If that had happened, then I couldn't imagine how devastated my parents would've been. Luckily, I went to Port Angeles with Jessica that day. That's when I got my first hallucination of Edward. Because of my hallucinations and desperate attempt to keep him close, I was able to have someone as wonderful as Jacob in my life. So, the consequence of doing all those reckless things was favourable, as fate gave me my Jacob. I had received one of the best people in the world for a best friend. I pushed my head further up the couch. I couldn't understand why I had a normal dream, just after I had gone through the worst of ordeal of my life. Realization.

Realization that Edward was never coming back. Realization that he never loved me, and that all of it was a lie, and comprehension of the fact that he was vampire, whose mere existence had caused grief to so several people, especially Jacob, Sam, Emily and Leah. All of them were distraught now. I further realized that my love story was a combination of Emily's and Kim's, except that both their stories had happy endings, and mine didn't. They had found their Romeo, and I hadn't. The authentic reality that the man I loved wasn't my Romeo anymore, stung. Kim got the man she had longed for, and Emily fell in love with a man who used to love her sister. Though she vowed to hate him, in the end, she finally fell in love, with _that_ very man.

Sometimes life played unfair games. There I was, a few weeks ago, vowing that I wouldn't love anyone again, and refusing to give Jacob a chance, and here I was now, willing to give the same Jacob a chance, because he had imprinted on me? No. That wasn't it. I was giving him a chance; I was giving myself a chance, because I knew that he was madly in love with me. If it was possible for a sixteen year old to experience true love in the twenty first century, then Jacob had experienced it all. I wasn't just a stupid unrequited crush he once had, nor the undying desire, but love. Jacob _really loved me._

It wasn't the kind of love he wanted to feel for me. He wanted the real love, the real feeling and in the real way. So he would have it. He would have all of it, in the real way. I knew that I loved Jacob, not in_ that_ way, but I did. So I would give him myself, with no strings attached, as promised. There were no strings controlling me now, since I had let out all the pain I had bottled up for so long. All the pain disappeared, and I felt numb. It was Jacob's turn to detach the numbness from my heart, and bring life back into it. He finally had me the way he wanted. _Jacob..._

All our memories together replayed in my mind again. I was reassured with these memories; they filled my void heart. His comforting words and gestures seemed enough to make me forget all my pain and distress. Now, seeing as all the pain was gone, or at least I assumed that all of it was gone, he could have me. It seemed shocking that the huge hole had disappeared, and left emptiness as its replacement. It was unbelievable that I let out all my pain in one day, but all those hurtful facts Emily blew at my face, seemed enough to get it out of me. The pain which seemed so unbearable for months suddenly got bearable, because of Jacob. Now, it had completely disappeared.

A small part of me didn't want to let go of the pain, which was my only reminder of Edward. But now, I couldn't even get myself to cry or weep, or feel that pain. I was dead. Even the tears wouldn't flow.

My thoughts were interrupted by the sound of a car squelching through the mud on the road outside. I heard it stop in front of the house, and doors started opening and closing. I thought about sitting up, and then decided against that idea. I didn't have the strength, or the mental capacity. Billy's voice was easily identifiable, but he kept it uncharacteristically low, so that it was only a gravelly grumble. "Sorry," Billy grunted. "Did we wake you?"

My eyes slowly focused on his face, and then, as I could read his expression, they filled with tears.

"Oh, no, Billy!" I moaned.

He nodded slowly, his expression hard with grief. "Where's Jake?" he asked. Just as if Jake could sense his father calling him, he hurried out of his room to his father's side and took one of his hands.

The pain made his face suddenly childlike—it looked odd on top of the man's body.

Sam was right behind Billy, pushing his chair through the door. His normal composure was absent from his agonized face.

"I'm so sorry," I whispered.

Billy nodded. "It's gonna be hard all around."

"Where's Charlie?"

"Your dad is still at the hospital with Sue. There are a lot of… arrangements to be made."

I swallowed hard.

"I'd better get back there," Sam mumbled, and he ducked hastily out the door. I stared after him. I wanted to talk to him, I realized. I owed him an apology, but this wasn't the right time. Billy pulled his hand away from Jacob, and then he rolled himself through the kitchen toward his room.

Jake stared after him for a minute, then came to sit on the floor beside me again. He put his face in his hands. I rubbed his shoulder, wishing I could think of anything to say.

After a long moment, Jacob caught my hand and held it to his face.

"How are you feeling? Are you okay? You had quite the scare today." He sighed.

"Don't worry about me," I croaked.

He twisted his head to look at me. His eyes were rimmed in red. "You don't look so good."

"You don't look so good either. I don't feel that well, but I'll be fine."

"I'll go get your truck and then take you home—you probably ought to be there when Charlie gets back."

"Right."

I lay listlessly on the sofa while I waited for him. Billy was silent in the other room. I felt like a peeping torn, peering through the cracks at a private sorrow that wasn't mine.

It didn't take Jake long. The roar of my truck's engine broke the silence before I expected it. He helped me up from the couch without speaking, keeping his arm around my shoulder when the cold air outside made me shiver. He took the driver's seat without asking, and then pulled me next to his side to keep his arm tight around me. I leaned my head against his chest. I wanted him close to me now, and I knew he did too. We seeked solace in each other, for the short ride.

I felt sympathetic towards him and Billy. I just hoped that they would overcome their loss soon. He parked the car in my driveway. It surprised me how he still managed to drive in this condition. "Jake, please take care, and get some rest" I pleaded. "I can't bear to see you like this". He looked at me, forlornly. "I will Bells. You take care too. And Bella, I'm sorry" he said.

"Sorry for what?" I asked, surprised.

"I couldn't be there for you today. I felt your pain again, Bella. And believe me, I wanted to be there for you, but Sam wouldn't let me. We were chasing the red head. I won't ask all the details, honey, but I'm sorry, you had to go through that. It was a lot worse than the other day" he replied, clearly saddened. "I promise, I'll be there for you next time. I'll help you Bella, I really will. I promise. It's just that the red head showed up at the wrong time. I was busy tracking that her scent, and Charlie and his men were lurking around, so we had to keep a pretty safe distance. I had to fight her Bella, so I couldn't... I'm sorry Bells! It won't happen again". For the first time, I saw who Jacob really was. A sixteen year old boy, who was forced to be mature for his age, and burdened with responsibilities, that wasn't his.

Now, I _really_ felt that I didn't deserve him at all. He was risking his life to save me, and he was apologizing for not comforting me. He was apologizing for not being able to be at two places at the same time. I fiercely decided that none of this was going to happen anymore. "Don't you dare blame yourself!" I said, fiercely. "It's not your fault!"

"But..." he began.

I placed my finger on his lips and silenced him. "It doesn't matter anymore" I said sternly. "All that matters is that you're alright, and she didn't hurt you. I was so worried that she might've harmed you"

"Bella, we're werewolves. We're invincible" he stated. "One vampire couldn't hurt me. We're very durable"

I looked bewildered. "Remember when I told that we were born to kill vampires? Well, we're equipped with massive strength and durability. A vampire couldn't kill me so easily" he explained, noticing my expression.

"But she could've hurt you" I argued.

"We heal very fast, as you know" he countered.

"That would still upset me" I revealed. He looked ashamed of himself. I placed my hand on his cheek again. "I don't want you to get hurt. You're too important to me" I stated. "Please be careful" I murmured. My face was inches away from his. "Promise me that you'll be careful"

"I will" he vowed.

"That's all I need" I murmured, as I gazed into those gloomy irises. "Thank you Jacob".

"For what?" he questioned, his eyes boring into mine.

"For promising to keep yourself safe" I answered. "You mean a lot more to me than anyone else"

Hearing this, he looked elated, forgetting his anguish, momentarily. I smiled at him. Our succinct moment of happiness was bungled, when I realized - "It's time for you to go, isn't it?" I questioned, sighing. He nodded, reluctantly. "I'll see you tomorrow at Harry's funeral" he said. "You'll come right?"

"Of course I'll come" I assured.

We hopped out of truck. "I'm going to change in the woods. Don't worry. She won't come back tonight. I'll be patrolling around your house, so sleep well" he comforted and swiftly sped off into the woods. He seemed even more averse to leave than I was. I walked into my shadowy, vacant home, and made my way to my room. I changed and went downstairs, and switched on the light. I waited for Charlie to arrive, just like yesterday, except this time, I knew precisely where he was, what he was doing, and in what condition he would return home.


	10. Chapter 10

_Disclaimer: I do not own twilight. If I did, Jacob wouldn't have gone through all that torture, because I love him. A big thank you to all my readers for your reviews. I want to clarify your questions, before I say anything else. I had posted chapter 11 too. But I deleted it, since I hadn't edited it. Most of you would've noticed that Kim calls her mother, 'Mum' instead of 'Mom'. I added that variation on purpose, because I wanted a distinctive feature in the character. I will definitely add a lot of romance, as promised. Yes, Bella will bond with others too. Things you need to you know about this chapter:_

_I would like to make one thing clear that I don't know much about death ceremonies, so kindly bear with me._

_If you have any further questions, kindly PM me._

_There are parts of SM's work here._

_Kindly review_

* * *

><p>Chapter 10 – Illumination<p>

It was around midnight when I woke up again. I stared out of the window at the full moon. The moonlight was penetrating through my window. I sighed in melancholy, as I recalled Charlie's condition when he returned home. He didn't say anything, but looked traumatized. He refused to eat; and barely acknowledged my sympathy. He sat on the couch for a long time, and I sat next to him, murmuring words of comfort. I wasn't used to all this and I was at loss of words, unknowing what to say, in order to reduce his pain. But looking at Charlie, it reminded me of how I was like when Edward left me. Harry was Charlie's best friend, a trusted comrade, who had helped Charlie till the end. It was a shame that he had to die; he had still many years to live. I felt a pang of sympathy towards Sue, Leah and Seth. Seth was still a kid, not much younger than Jacob.

I decided to leave Charlie alone, and I went upstairs. I couldn't control the train of my thoughts, as they flew from one event after the other, which occurred today. Everyone was having a depressing day. As I thought about Edward, my mind blocked away all the painful memories, and the feeling of numbness remained. This situation may be temporary, and I may go back to clinging on the waning memories of my Romeo. Jacob's sad face entered my mind. Every time I thought about Edward, I felt guilty, and Jacob's face would always pop out of nowhere. It was probably a defense mechanism to remind me of Jacob, and our imprint.

Would I ever be able to give myself to him as a whole? Reassuring him that the strings had detached themselves from me? Or would I go back into depression? With all these queries in my mind, I dozed off into a dreamless sleep, fatigued. Charlie woke me up, and asked me to prepare myself to attend Harry's funeral. I clothed myself in black, and went along with Charlie, in his cruiser to LaPush. The aura in the burial ground was disheartening. Sue, Seth and Leah looked shattered. Charlie immediately went to comfort Sue, and I noticed that almost all the residents of LaPush were present. I was surprised to see their unity. Everyone offered the Clearwaters their condolences.

I saw the Pack helping around everywhere. Sam retained the same expression as yesterday. Emily was sobbing, and Sam was doing his best to placate her. Kim was assisting Jared whenever she could. Billy and Jacob were right beside Sue. I noticed Quil along with two other men there, one sat in a wheel chair who I assumed to be his father and grandfather. Quil didn't look happy either. I was aware that Harry was friends with Quil's grandfather too. I felt out of place in the land of Quileutes. Jacob was with Billy the whole time. It surprised me how Leah didn't snub either Sam or Emily. She looked at her father's body, upset and distressed. She apparently didn't notice either of them, even though they were on the other side of the coffin.

Her father's death clearly mattered more to her, than any betrayal. I realized that this was no place for me, and I hesitated to stand next to Charlie or Jacob. Quil surprisingly picked up a conversation with me. "Hey Bella, how are you?" he asked, trying to be polite. The impish Quil I knew, had disappeared. He had grown taller, so I guessed that he was close to phasing. "I'm fine Quil, and how have you been lately?" I said, conversationally. "Fine, I guess" he muttered. "Your family was friends with Harry too right?" I questioned. He nodded. "Yeah. Grandpa, Dad and Harry were pretty tight. Even more these days, after Sam Uley" he said acidly. I opened my mouth to defend Sam, but reminded myself that Quil knew nothing about it.

So I remained silent. "So, what's up with you these days?" he inquired, trying to be pleasant.

"Who me? Nothing much. Just busy with college admissions and homework" I lied. Well, it was partially true.

"So why don't you hang out with me sometime? Its spring break right?" he suggested.

"Uh... sorry Quil, I can't. The deadline for the admission is approaching, and I'm busy with the applications and stuff" I lied again.

He looked a bit disappointed. "Oh. Which colleges have you applied to?"

"Uh ... university of Seattle, Peninsula community college, and University of Washington" I stated recalling the names of the colleges Angela had suggested. I remembered that I hadn't bought the applications yet. Though I didn't see the need to either. I wasn't leaving Forks either way. It would just be a facade, like everything else. "Oh... did you get accepted anywhere?" he questioned further.

"Not yet" I answered, this was the twisted truth. My conversation with Quil didn't go very well, and he sensed that I was lying, but didn't mention it. I assumed it was anguish of his loss. We stood next to each other, silent. After they buried the body, friends and family went around comforting the Clearwaters. Quil and I joined them. I went to Charlie, and held his hand, in a frail attempt to comfort him. He gave me a small smile. I offered my condolences to Sue, unknowing what to say, but I doubt she even heard what I said, even if it wasn't exactly comforting.

Billy and Jacob's expression mirrored Charlie's. Seth was crying, and I could see Leah and Sue preventing their tears from flowing. It was a sad sight. At noon, everyone departed. I went up to Jacob, who was also clothed in black pant, white shirt, black coat and a tie. "It'll be alright Jake, Billy" I comforted. Billy barely acknowledged my words and Jake just nodded. The atmosphere of the cemetery and Jacob's emotions overwhelmed me. The Clearwaters still stayed behind, saying their last goodbyes to their loved one. The Pack, me, Charlie and the Atearas stayed back with them. Finally we all went to the Clearwaters house to help out. Charlie told me it was alright if I went home. But I wouldn't hear of it. Charlie and Jake needed me.

I helped around with boxes and stuff. That evening passed in a blur. I sat next to Jacob in his garage, while Billy and Charlie stayed in house, grieving. We sat in the rabbit. I entwined my hand with Jacob, and sat close to him. I was his only solace. We didn't speak to each other at all. This was the most silent Jacob had ever been. For two days, I followed the same routine. I would go LaPush with Charlie, who had applied for a two day leave, and help out at the Clearwaters all day. Sue gave me a small smile, and I spoke comforting words to Seth, who politely nodded.

Leah didn't bother to acknowledge anyone at all. She seemed to have reverted back to her old malicious state, as Jacob had stated. Jake and I hardly spoke a few words to each other. Embry, Jared and Paul were the regular patrollers for these two days. Sam had put the wolves on red alert, knowing that Victoria would come back, and try a sneak attack. The other three wolves were not close to the Clearwaters, so they didn't mind patrolling. Charlie went back to work, and brought the college applications, apologizing for the delay. On Jacob's request, I stayed at Emily's place .I couldn't handle the gloomy ambience around me. Even Emily, who was always merry and lively, looked down in the dumps. I requested her to help me fill the applications, as a distraction. I clarified all the questions with Charlie, and finally posted my applications. One week passed, and everyone seemed mollified. It seemed the longest week of my life.

The wolf pack followed its regular schedule. Jacob would always sleep, and wouldn't talk more than a couple of sentences. Billy would always be at the Clearwaters. Renee had called up when she received my email, about Harry's death. She gave her condolences to Charlie. She had known Harry quite well, during her brief stay in Forks. The feeling of numbness dominated most of my heart, along with grief and sympathy. I hadn't cried in one week. I hadn't had any dreams at all, which scared me. I hadn't thought about Edward for a week. I missed Jacob and Charlie. My father hadn't watched television since the past week.

My occasional comforting went unheard, which made me realize how I must've reacted when Edward left me. I realized the embarrassment and humiliation my well wishers went through when I didn't acknowledge their greeting and condolences. Everyone ignored me, unintentionally, dwelling in their own sorrows. Even Jacob. But at least he attempted to talk to me. I hadn't seen a single person around me smile in a week. Even the weather was gloomy. I couldn't think of any way to reduce their pain. I comprehended that I was in the same situation Charlie was in, a few months ago. How heart breaking it must have been for him to see me moping around, lifeless, unable to diminish the ache. That had dug its way so deep, and left a permanent impression.

I frequently began emailing Renee, as a desperate distraction. I had promised Jacob that I wouldn't do anything reckless, but it was hard not to. She updated me about her and Phil's on goings. Phil was doing well for himself. When I couldn't bear to see everyone moping, I decided to reduce their pain, the same way Charlie and Jacob had done for me. It was my turn to give something back to them. When Charlie came home today, I had planned to cheer him up. "Hey Dad" I greeted as he came in; he nodded, giving me a smile.

"Dad... I was wondering, if you would watch a hockey game with me. The one you missed a couple of days ago" I said, cautiously. I had done my research. He looked surprised.

"Since when did you begin to like sports?" he questioned.

"Since now, and you could use a good change too. I've made some popcorn" I answered, smiling. His eyes brightened up tremendously, and he agreed. By the time he freshened up, I got the popcorn ready. For the next three hours, I watched a hockey game with Charlie, who was clearly distracted. So, I had prepared his favourite meal for dinner. He looked tremendously pleased and lightened up. I started a lively conversation with him about the match, though I didn't sound as enthusiastic as planned, he conversed genially. I kept the conversation going, until bed time.

"Good night Bells" he called happily, and retired. I slept with the satisfaction that I had helped my father. The next step was to help Jacob, Billy and Emily. I couldn't spend any time with Jacob, as he was always patrolling. Billy was always at the Clearwaters now, so I would cook all of the edible food stocked, to make it tasty as possible. I went with a baking recipe which I searched on the net to Emily, who assistance I asked to make it. Cooking became a regular distraction for the next few days for her. Kim was grounded for not showing up at home the other day, or I would've asked for her to facilitate too. Everything seemed in control for awhile, until Emily had a breakdown.

She had left me at her place, stating she had for some personal work at the Clearwaters. After a long while, she came back home hysterical. Her eyes were red, and tears flew down her cheeks, and she was sniffing hard. When I frantically questioned her, choking though her sobs, she narrated the cause of her heartache. Leah had apparently got into a fight with her, and things went pretty malevolent. I didn't believe that Leah was as malicious as everyone portrayed her, but after taking one look at Emily tear streaked face, I believed them. Emily was hysterical all day, crying, screaming and wailing. No amounting of consoling worked. I ardently waited for Sam to return, and when he did, I rapidly explained the event that occurred. Sam looked livid, and depressed at the same time. His first priority was to comfort Emily. The pack didn't look happy about it either.

"That Leah's an unpleasant bitch! She keeps saying nasty things to everyone! What's her problem? Emily was just trying to help! Couldn't she appreciate that? After all that she's done for them. Sheesh!" complained Paul. "Her father's dead and I haven't seen a single tear in her eyes"

The pack remained silent. Emily's frenzied crying didn't impede. "Oh! Oh! Sam! She hates me! She really does! She said she'd rather see me dead than enter her house again" wailed Emily. "It's alright honey, I'm sure she didn't mean that" consoled Sam, rubbing her back. "No! It's true! It was all true! She meant every single word!" screamed Emily, tears flowing down her cheeks. I couldn't bear to look at her, and I felt tears form in my eyes too.

"She said I deserved every scar on my face!" she continued. Hearing this, Sam clenching his fist, attempting to control his temper. "She told me that she despised me!"

"She's lost her mind!" exclaimed Jared. "Who the hell does she think she is, saying all that garbage?"

"She's got to mend that attitude of hers!" stated Paul.

"Fat chance that'll happen" said Jacob snorting. "Her bark is worse than her bite"

Embry remained silent. The boys continued their unpleasant comments, until a huge commotion began. "SILENCE!" ordered Sam. He helped Emily into her room, and spent a long time comforting her, while I served the pack. For once, Paul didn't glare at me or make any comments. Everyone worried about Emily, and ate quietly. Jared took off to Kim's and Embry crashed at Jake's. I stayed behind with Jake and Paul. Sam finally came out, looking livid.

Paul informed Sam of the other's two's absence. "Paul, Jake, go home. Bella, stay here with Emily in case she needs anything" he instructed. "Where are you going?" asked Paul. "To the Clearwaters. I'd like to have a word with Leah" he replied curtly. "Uh Sam, I don't think that's such a good idea man" said Paul uncertainly. "Stay out of this. This is between me and Leah" he said, curtly. "I'll come with you" offered Jacob. "No, I'm going alone" he stated coldly. "Be careful Sam, you might lose your temper" warned Jacob. "Yeah, you might need someone to calm you down" backed Paul. "I'll be fine" he said, gritting his teeth, making his way to the door. "Wait Sam, let me come with you" said Jacob, getting up. "I'm coming too" said Paul, joining him.

"Sam, things could get pretty nasty. You'll need us there. Let us come" insisted Jacob. "Alright fine. Come along then" agreed Sam, reluctant. "Stay here Bella" ordered Jacob and all three of them left abruptly. I checked on Emily for the next three hours and she was sound asleep. I realized that everyone was sleep deprived, since the past week. I felt Jacob's anger through our imprint, I distracted myself by cooking. Emily's breakdown terrified me. I realized how she must have felt like when I had my breakdown. My life was the example of irony, because, I began to feel all the emotions others had felt, when they were in the same situation. I realized how hard it must've been for everyone to deal with me.

Sam and the others didn't return, until tea time. Emily was still fast asleep. Sam and Paul came in. Neither of them bothered to acknowledge me. Sam and Paul had black bags under their eyes. "Is Emily still sleeping?" questioned Sam worried. I nodded. He immediately went to check up on her. Paul drank the tea I served, in one gulp. Sam came back after a long time. I offered Sam some tea, and biscuits. "Sam... Paul, are you alright?" I asked hesitantly. "You look tired". Paul grunted, and Sam nodded. "Where's Jacob?" I questioned. "He's still patrolling. Go to his house and wait" he ordered. I nodded and placed all the dishes in the basin, and washed them.

"Dinner's in the fridge" I stated quietly, and went out to the Black's. I was greeted by darkness and silence yet again. Jacob came back two hours later. I served what I had hurriedly prepared for him. He scarfed down the whole meal. "What happened at the Clearwaters?" I asked timidly. "I'll tell you later. We have to go to Sam's for a meeting" he replied. We hastily went to Emily's house. Everyone was already present and surprisingly, so was Kim.

"Hi Bella" she greeted cheerfully. "Oh hi Kim. I thought you were grounded" I said, glad to see her. "Well, Mum let off today. I've been good lately" she replied in her soft voice. I realized how much I had missed her, and seated myself next to her. I saw Emily sitting next to Sam, slouching. She looked tired. "I've called a meeting today because I have important announcements to make" said Sam in his authoritative tenor that I disliked so much. "We are going to have additions to our pack" he informed. Everyone gasped at the plural. "Quil will be joining us soon" he continued. "Along with Seth, Brady and Collin". Everyone gasped. "When I went to visit the Clearwaters, I noticed Seth's growth sprout. I didn't observe it during the funeral, and the week after that either, for obvious reasons" he said, non chalantely.

I could see his attempts to control his emotions. Emily looked miserable. "I received a call from Billy, who had gone to visit the Littleseas, stating that Collin has a sudden growth sprout. He has shown all the symptoms. I happened to meet Brady Fuller today, who also clearly exhibited the symptoms. If we catch the bloodsucker on time, I hope that it will prevent their change. Quil will phase in a few days, so we can't do anything to prevent that. Someone has to keep an eye on him. So, I'm changing the patrol schedules. Bella and Kim and please maintain your distance from him, as you know the consequences" he expounded, emotions flickering across his eyes.

"So, I've decided our schedules. Jacob and I will patrol from four in the morning to eleven in the morning. Paul, Jared and Embry will patrol from eleven to four. Jacob and I will resume our shift four to nine. Then you three will resume your shift from nine to four in the morning. We can't leave the land unguarded for a second. She may come back anytime. Understand?" he explained, carefully. The pack nodded. "Bella, you will stay indoors the whole time. No matter what happens, stay in and lock the door. You will stay in Jacob's house at all times. Make arrangements with him and Billy" he said, looking at me. I nodded. "I've asked Old Quil to keep an eye on Quil, and inform any of us as soon as possible, so stay here or at your places so that you can be available, in case I'm not, and watch over Quil's house"

"Uh Sam, what happened that day? I never got all the details" I asked, quietly. "Well, that seemed to have caused some confusion between me and Emily". Sam gave me a hard expression. "Well, that leech led us into a wild goose chase around the whole forest, and finally we were able to get her. Until she led us to the cliffs and escaped into the water. We almost had her. We can't follow her in the water" he replied, frowning. "But why did you ask Emily to tell me not to open the door?" I questioned curiously. He looked confused. "I didn't ask her to do that" he answered, looking at Emily, who looked up for the first time. "Well Sam, you told me that Victoria escaped" she stated.

"Well yes, she escaped into the sea" he said, surprised. "But I thought that she was still lurking around. I thought you came back only because of Uncle Harry" she said, swallowing. "You told me that the others were still patrolling, so I thought that..." she continued and realized her mistake. "Oh Emily, you thought that she was still here?" he asked. She nodded. "I've been a fool! I called Bella and told not to open the door and oh! Oh! How silly of me!" she moaned in embarrassment and shock. She almost laughed, as she was in the verge of hysteria. "Oh dear! I scared poor Bella and Kim!" she exclaimed. "Is that why you two were sweating bullets?" asked Jacob, turning to me and Kim.

We nodded. "I was really scared" said Kim. "But Bella was so brave. She told me to go home, and she wanted handle the vampire herself". I hid my gaze, as everyone stared at me, in admiration and awe. "She even sent me upstairs to keep Victoria from hurting me" she continued in an awed voice. "I'm sorry Bella, I caused you so much trouble and worry" apologized Emily. "It's alright. It's not your fault you misunderstood" I reassured. "Honestly Emily, do you think that I would be in a hospital while a bloodsucker is on the loose?" asked Sam. "We've been after this leech for weeks. Besides, we would never leave Bella unprotected". A pang of guilt washed over my body. Jacob immediately squeezed my hand. "She's one of us too now. She's Jake's imprint" he continued, looking at Emily, with that adulation filled expression. "I know Harry's as important as Bella, but everyone else was with him. Bella was all alone" he said in a calm voice. "I understand. It's alright" she assured, sadly. "Bella needs you"

If my guilt could overflow through my body, then it just did. Tears formed in my eyes. Even after all that I had put them through; they were still willing to protect me. That stung. It left a cavernous impression on me. Emily's words lingered in my mind. _Sam hasn't changed him Bella, you have. So stop accusing Sam of anything. He's only trying to help Jacob. _Her words had complete legitimacy in them. I had been wrong about Sam all along. He was willing to choose me over his dear one. Right now, I had never seen anyone as selfish as me in the world.

"Well, I bet you were relieved that it was Jake and not the leech" said Embry, abruptly, addressing me and Kim. He interrupted my string of thoughts, and I looked up at him. "We really were" replied Kim. "I'll say. The way you assaulted Jake Bella that was clear proof" he teased, grinning. "I'm surprised that you didn't wet your pants". "Like I said, you're a worry wart" said Jared, smirking. "How did you...?" I began, forgetting myself resentment, momentarily. "Pack minds Bella" answered Embry. I could've kicked myself. Everyone laughed, while I blushed. I was about to scold him, when Paul interjected. "Yeah, you should've seen it Emily. You'd think they were long lost lovers, the way they hugged" said Paul, chortling. "Jake!" imitated Embry, and hugged Paul, who made kissing noises. Everyone roared with laughter. Even Jake. They went a step further ahead, and began a role play.

Embry pretended to be me, and Paul pretended to be Jake. They stood on either ends of the hall. Embry ran up to Paul, and embraced him tightly_. "Oh Jake! Oh! Oh! Jake!" It's you!"_ drawled Embry, burying is face in Paul's chest, they same I had done with Jake. "Yes Bella! It's me Jacob! Your knight in shining armour!" said Paul raising his hand, as if it were a sword. Everyone burst out laughing. "Oh Jake, I was so worried" continued Embry, fluttering his eyes, giving a very good impersonation of me. Whereas Paul dragged the whole act. "Yes Bella. I'm fine. One vampire can't kill me. I'm invincible!" he exclaimed triumphantly, raising his hand as if it were a sword. Jared hooted, while Jake gave them both a sour look.

Sam, Kim and Emily snickered. They began to make kissing noises, and Embry pretended to cry in relief. "Oh Jacob! You're so strong" gushed Embry, fluttering eyes, the same way I had when I wanted to get information about vampires. That caused pain in my chest. "That I am, and you've got a hot ass" commented Paul winking. That did it. Jake lounged at both of them. Jared hooted encouragingly. I didn't acknowledge Paul's perverted comment, because of the pain in my chest. "I bet five dollars that your Jake won't make it" he bet me. I was temporarily diverted and since I wasn't one to gamble, but I knew that one against two wasn't fair. "What do you say Sam?' he asked, chuckling. Sam merely watched amused. Paul and Embry continued to make kissing noises, even while Jake pounded them. Both of them went for him, but still he managed to win, until Sam stopped them. "Really Sam, couldn't you have waited a bit longer?" grumbled Paul. "We almost had him". "In your dreams" snorted Jacob.

"Bring it on kid" challenged Paul. "You and me alone. Outside". "Bring it on" growled Jake. "Enough!" ordered Sam, who seemed sorry to stop the fight too. "You can use all that energy in hunting the leech" he commanded. "Jake, go home. Embry and Paul back to patrol". They went out, and I went home with Jake, and Kim went with Jared. Instead of going to his bedroom, he went to the garage. "Jake, why are we here?" I questioned, curious. "Shouldn't you be resting?". He shook his head. "Naa. I'll catch some sleep later" he said, and pulled me into the garage, closing the door. He climbed into the rabbit, and I followed, perplexed at his odd behaviour.

I sat next to him, and he pulled me closer, and snuggled up to me. I squeezed his hand, gently rubbing it. "What's wrong Jake?" I asked, feeling sadness float through our imprint. "It's what happened today with Emily" he replied remorsefully. "Well, what about it?" I questioned. "You never did tell me what happened with Sam and Leah this afternoon". He sighed. "Has Emily ever told you Sam's story?"he asked. I shook my head. "Sam had it so much harder than the rest of us. Because he was the first, and he was alone, and he didn't have anyone to tell him what was happening. Sam's grandfather died before he was born, and his father has never been around. There was no one there to recognize the signs. The first time it happened — the first time he phased — he thought he'd gone insane. It took him two weeks to calm down enough to change back.

"This was before you came to Forks, so you wouldn't remember. Sam's mother and Leah Clearwater had the forest rangers searching for him, the police. People thought there had been an accident or something. . . ."

"Leah?" I repeated, surprised. Hearing her name sent an automatic surge of pity through me. I recalled that Harry Clearwater, Charlie's life-long friend, had died just about two weeks ago. And Charlie still hadn't gotten over it, despite my several attempts, though he got better. His voice changed, became heavier. "Yeah. Leah and Sam were high school sweethearts. They started dating when she was just a freshman. I'm sure Emily told you the rest. Leah was frantic when he disappeared."

I supposed it was silly for me to imagine that Sam had never loved anyone before Emily. Most people fall in and out of love many times in their lives. It was just that I'd seen Sam with Emily, and I couldn't imagine him with someone else. The way he looked at her . . . well, it reminded me of a look of how Jacob looked at me, or how Jared looked at Kim.

"Sam came back," Jacob said, "but he wouldn't talk to anyone about where he'd been. Rumours flew — that he was up to no good, mostly. And then Sam happened to run in to Quil's grandfather one afternoon when Old Quil Ateara came to visit Mrs. Uley. Sam shook his hand. Old Quil just about had a stroke." Jacob paused to laugh.

"Why?"

Jacob put his hand on my cheek and pulled my face around to look at him — he was leaning toward me, his face was just a few inches away. His palm burned my skin, like he had a fever.

"Oh, right," I said. It felt so right, having my face so close to his with his hand hot against my skin. I remembered how it felt to have my hand on his warm cheek last night." Sam was running a temperature."

Jacob laughed again. "Sam's hand felt like he'd left it sitting on a hot stovetop."

He was so close, and I could feel his warm breath. He stroked my cheek, and I felt a strange sensation in my stomach, the sensation of excitement. I stared at his flawless face, enjoying the feel of his hand on my cheek. I didn't understand this bizarre feeling. He smiled and continued, still stroking my cheek.

"So Mr. Ateara went straight to the other elders," Jacob went on. "They were the only ones left who still knew, who remembered. Mr. Ateara, Billy, and Harry had actually seen their grandfathers make the change. When Old Quil told them, they met with Sam secretly and explained.

"It was easier when he understood — when he wasn't alone anymore. They knew he wouldn't be the only one affected by the Cullens' return" — he pronounced the name with unconscious bitterness — "but no one else was old enough. So Sam waited for the rest of us to join him. . . ."

I felt Jacob's and my pity surge through my body, and I surprisingly didn't feel the pain when he mentioned the Cullens. I felt just a small twinge. "Poor Sam" I murmured. Jake nodded, stroking my cheek with his thumb. "I misunderstood him all along. I owe him an apology" I said, sadly, gazing at the rabbit's floor. Jake put his arm around my waist and pulled me closer. The feel of his arm around my waist, created a strange excitement through me again. "This afternoon, we went to Leah's house. Sue was inside, cleaning, so Seth opened the door, and we noticed that he had grown since the past few days. Sam immediately checked his temperature and stuff. He was pretty warm, though he said that he didn't have a fever. Leah was in her room. Seth called her out, and she came out and gave all three of us a glare. She didn't bother to acknowledge us. That is, until Sam began talking"

He shifted uncomfortably, his arm still around my waist, and I noticed that he looked disturbed. "Sam asked her why she had said all those mean things to Emily, who was just trying to help her. She meant no harm of course" he continued. "Leah ordered us to get the hell out of her house, and Paul got mad. He got into an argument with her, and Leah threw a fruit bowl at him, and asked him get his big wolf butt out of her house, because he's not invited. Sam sent us both outside. He talked to Leah and well he asked her to apologize to Emily, and you can guess, a huge fight broke out, and hurtful words were exchanged. Sam had never lost his cool, especially after what happened with Emily. Seth tried to intervene, and Sue came to see what the commotion was all about, and things went wild. Leah began throwing things at Sam and yelling all sorts of swear words, and he also began arguing. He said some of the most heartless things to her; and he regrets saying it, but Paul thinks she deserved all of them. And much to our surprise, she began crying. Sue sent Sam out and Seth looked ready to cry too. Jared and Embry had already begun patrolling, and I joined them. I did Sam's shift, knowing that he was in no condition to patrol. He looked like wreck after the fight. I let him cool off, and Paul went home. Sam didn't phase for his shift, so I continued patrolling. When he got better, he patrolled with me and Paul, and I did all I could to help him. The same way he had done for me, when I ... I was away from you"

He looked sad, and his arm loosened around my waist, and he turned away from me. I felt his pain, so I placed my hand on his cheek, and turned his face towards mine. "Jacob, it's okay. I'm here now" I comforted. "I'm not going anywhere". He gave me a small smile. He placed his hand on mine, and pressed it tighter to his cheek, and held it tightly, as if he was afraid that I would disappear. "That's the only comfort I have now" he murmured. I guessed that he was speaking to himself, rather than me. He shifted his position, and placed his hand on my waist, and his other hand intertwined with mine. The touch felt very soothing but awakened sensations in me, which I had never felt. "After sorting things, he went back with Paul, and I finished my shift and I came home. I have the rest of the night off, for running double shifts"

I remained silent. "I'm ashamed of myself, Jake. I misapprehended Sam all along. You were right, he's a good guy. And a really nice human being". Jake nodded. "That he is" he agreed. "I'm going to apologize and make it up to him. Do you think he'll forgive me?" I said, mournful. "Of course he will. Like you said, he's a nice guy" assured Jake. "I can't believe that he would choose to protect me, instead of being with Harry" I said, tears threatening to fall down again. "If it makes you feel any better, then, it's not just about your safety, it's about our tribes safety, and our land's safety too. We protect our people from our worst enemies" he stated. "The legend" I said, comprehending. "You're one of us now, so technically, he has to protect you" explicated Jake, shrugging. "We'd have to protect you either way. She would have to cross our land to get to you, and we'd still be patrolling. So even if weren't imprinted, you'd be safe". I shuddered recalling those nightmarish weeks. His arm glided up to my shoulder rubbing me.

"Now, you tell me, what happened with you at Emily's house that day" he said, staring into my eyes. That caught me completely off guard. I had forgotten that incident since Harry's death. "Well, I had another breakdown" I stated, uncomfortably. He nodded. "I guessed that much. Now tell me why" he urged. I fumbled with my fingers, looking at our intertwined hands. "Will you promise not to get mad?" I asked timidly. "I won't get mad. Not with you beside me". I let out a deep breath. In brief, I explained the incident with Emily.

How I had over reacted, how realized that I was wrong about Sam, the Cullens, Edward, how I wept on the cold bathroom floor, how I let the hot tears fall on the icy floor. How I had fainted, and how I realized that he was in trouble, how Emily protected me and Kim, her desperate attempt to choose between me and her uncle, her phone call, and finally his arrival. His emotions varied every moment, which made things harder for me. I began and crying while talking. But surprisingly, this time, I cried without the scorching pain in my chest. Edward's pain was no longer that painful. I knew that it existed, but it didn't ache that much anymore.

Jacob pulled me into a warm embrace. I sighed and melted into his warmth. I never wanted to let go, this physical contact seemed enough to take away the pain. I could hear his heart beat, as I my ear was on his chest. "I'm sorry. I didn't know" he whispered. "Believe me Bells, if I had known that this would happen then...argh! That filthy bloodsucker had to show up right at that time! It was agonizing to stay away from you and not to comfort you" he said, his voice going a few octaves higher. "You don't have to apologize for anything, anymore. Things are going to be fine from now on" I said, comfortingly. He hugged me tighter and I let my hands glide up to his shoulders. "Promise me that you'll be safe" I whispered. "I will" he guaranteed. I slowly pulled away from his embrace, and smiled at him. "Well I'm glad that something good came out of it all though" I stated. "What's that?" he asked, surprised. "I can give myself to you now, completely" I whispered. "With no strings attached, no aching pain, no more breakdowns. Just me, as a whole" I murmured, quietly. He tilted his head lower, until our foreheads touched, and I could feel his warm breath on my face. My breathing went up a notch. "That's all I'm asking for" he murmured back, as one of his hands glided down to my waist, and my hands wound around his neck. Suddenly, I let out a small laugh, recalling the words that I told him not too long ago.

He looked at me confused. "What's so funny?" he asked. I chuckled. "It's not a very good joke" I replied, slowly unwinding myself from his embrace. "Come on, let's go and talk to Sam" I said, sliding down the rabbit. He smiled and followed. I caught Sam, just in time, as he was leaving for patrol. "Hi Sam" greeted Jacob. "Hi Jacob, Bella" he greeted back. "It's not time for you to patrol yet" he addressed Jake. "Uh, no, Bella wanted to talk to you" he said awkwardly."Uh Sam, could I talk to you for a minute?" I asked, hesitantly. "Sure Bella" he instantly obliged. Jacob went in the house, and apparently, Jared and Embry were fighting over the couch again. I heard loud yells. I chuckled. "They never give up" he sighed, tired. "So, what did you want to take about?".

I swallowed twice. I wasn't sure how to do this. I wasn't this nervous when I confessed to Jacob. "Uh... could we go for a walk?" I blurted out, unthinking. He nodded, giving me a queer look. We walked down the road, behind his home. "Hurry up though would you? I have to patrol. Paul's waiting" he said, skeptically. "Sam, I'm... I'm... sorry" I blurted out, unthinkingly. He looked at me bewildered. "Sorry for what?" he asked, mystified. "For everything actually" I replied, honestly. "For misunderstanding you, for unnecessarily hurting you, for causing Emily so much pain. For making Jacob think that he was turning into a bad person, because of you. For making you loathe yourself"

His demeanour instantly changed. He frowned. "I know that I don't deserve your forgiveness. But I needed to let you know that you won't have any problem from my side or Jacob's side from now on" I assured. "I know that you were just trying to help me and Jake. I was wrong about you the whole time. I'm so sorry". He didn't interrupt. "I didn't know what you had to go through. How you coped through all that" I swallowed, trying to hold back the tears. "All that pain and torture. I just added more trouble to your vows. I'm sorry"

"I didn't know _what_ you sacrificed for Emily, me, Jacob, the pack... I can't thank you enough. It seemed so unfair to me that you have to go through all that, especially since you aren't at fault. All those things shouldn't have happened to you. You didn't do anything wrong, you just lived your life, but your life changed due to vampires, I don't know how you dealt with all that. I' haven't seen anyone as strong as you. You've been through a lot. You deserve some happiness. I promise you, after all this is over, I won't interfere in your life again" I said, holding back the sobs.

Sam's hard expression appeased. "Bella..." he began. "I deserved all those words Emily said to me. Each and every single one of them. You're welcome to scold me too" I interjected. "I deserve it all. I'm a horrible person, selfish, self centred and foolish. I didn't realize how much pain I was causing everyone". He raised his eyebrows at me. "Bella, will you let me speak?" he asked, amused. "Sorry" I muttered. "It's okay. I forgive you. I'm not holding any grudge against you or Jacob either. He's my brother, and you're his imprint. And even if you weren't, I wouldn't hold a grudge. What you and Jacob have is something special. I wish I had that with Emily, and so does Emily. We never got the chance to get to know each other. You and Jacob started out as friends, something I should've done with Emily, after the imprint, instead of forcing her to love me. I didn't know how to handle the imprint, and things went out of hand. Look at Emily now. She forgave me, but I'm never able to forgive myself. You're exactly right about the reason why I'm helping Jacob and you, so that he doesn't repeat my mistakes. But Bella, he's not me. He's different. I should've realized that. Your relationship is different. Jacob gets instantly comforted, when he's even around you. I just to say your name, and he smiles. I'm envious Bella, and so is the whole pack. How is that one person can change and affect another so much?" he clarified.

I listened in amazement. "We all want what you have with our imprints or girlfriends. That kind of fantastic friendship and understanding is impossible to find these days. You know what the other one is thinking. It just shows how well you two know each other. I didn't like the fact that Jake imprinted on you. At first, I didn't understand why. But now, I realized that you are made for each other. Actually, you are meant for each other. Think about it Bella. Jacob told me everything. Your whole life story. Having pack minds has its advantages Bella. I was able to see all that you did together, your conversations, you laughs, you behaviour around each other" he explained, smiling. I gawked at him, and almost stopped walking.

"Today, Leah accused my feelings to be fake. None of it as real. But what I had with Leah was real. That was the real way of falling in love. The same way you and Jacob will fall in love. Except that, you are guaranteed soul mates. I didn't realize how badly she was hurt, until today. She questioned my feelings for her. If I really loved her, then why I had imprinted on someone else, INSTEAD OF HER? I couldn't answer that question. That hurt Bella. It really did. I saw torment in her eyes, the same torment I felt from Jacob, when he was away from you. At first, I thought that it was a silly crush, but after entering his mind, I realized that it was love. Jacob really loved you before the imprint and even now. If his love wasn't real, or suffice, he would've imprinted on someone else. But he didn't. It made me question my feelings for Leah" he revealed, and paused. "If vampires and werewolves didn't exist, you and Jacob would still be together. Because that's how it was meant to be. It's nature's law. Things are meant to be this way. But after Jacob imprinted, I didn't understand why it was you. We thought we had the pattern figured out, but we didn't. You turned out to be the strangest, non native imprint so far. Unless there are still chances of you being Quileute"

I was too stunned to laugh at his small joke. I couldn't believe my ears. My pace decreased. He smiled to himself, and looked at me. "Bella, after Jacob imprinted, he drove the pack crazy by avoiding you. I didn't understand why. First, he felt agonized for avoiding your calls, and not seeing you. Now, he felt agonized for deliberately avoiding you. I never understood that boy. He got what he wanted, so why was he staying way? It drove me and pack wild, having to deal with his constant whining and thoughts about it. I thought he was mad. I hated you for putting Jacob and all of us through all that torture. He was foolish to fight something so absolute. Imprinting is everything. The person you imprint around is the centre of the world for you, and it's foolish to run away from it" he continued. "But he did that for you too. That idiot put all his energy into fighting the impossible. That meant only two things. One: he was an idiot. Two: he really loves you. Judging by his character, I think it's both"

He paused for a moment to chuckle, and I had the urge to smile too. "I warned Jake that the separation would kill him, and eventually did, causing both of you to feel sick. I tried to knock some common sense to him, and so did the pack and Billy, but that stubborn brat didn't listen to a word we said. When you showed up, I finally relieved. But the reasons to fight the imprint, seemed logical too. But to add to his complications, you were still in love with you vampire, and well, that killed Jake. The pack went wild again, and so did I. I didn't comprehend why he had so many complications. But after what you did, I think I've begun to like you more. So technically, I'm not doing this for you, I'm doing this for Jacob. I love that idiot like a brother, so I don't have a choice. So don't delude yourself to thinking that I'm doing all this for you" he elucidated. I realized how much Sam actually loved Jacob.

"But after your brilliant idea, you've earned by respect. I realized that you really are trying. I wish I could do that with Emily, but it's too late now. All that's been done. I'm envious of that brat for having such a wonderful friend, and envious of you for having someone who loves you so much. I know Emily loves me, but I wish we had what you and Jake have, or will have. You may be twisted, but you're a really nice girl. I know how happy you've made Emily. She's been upset and lonely lately, and you've helped her feel better. You're not as bad you think you are. You may have hurt Emily, but it wasn't your fault. I have to agree that Emily had something to do with it" he confessed. He stopped abruptly, and looked ahead; my eyes flickered towards the direction he was looking at, and I realized that we standing in front of the woods. "You know, when I found you the other day, I saw what he had done to you. I couldn't believe what I saw. It was impossible to believe what he had done; that he could hurt you this way" he said, gazing at the woods. My heart almost stopped beating. The pain in my chest seemed to work its way higher. "But things have changed now. You've become wolf girl, from vampire girl" he said, teasing.

I gave him a small smile. "Hanging out with Jake, Emily and Kim has done you some good. You're changing for the better, and let's hope it stays that way" he commented. "So apology accepted, and now, you could say that I may be doing all this to help you too" he said, chuckling. I smiled broadly at him. I was sure that we would hit it off very well from now on. "It's about time I left. Nice talking to you Bella" he said, smiling. "Bye Sam. Thank you for being honest with me. And thank you for accepting my apology. If there's any way I can make it up to you know, let me know" I said, gratefully. "Well, you can help by making Jacob and Emily happy, and also... continue your delicious cooking". He said winking at me for the last part. He ruffled my hair and went into the woods; I bid goodbye to Sam, feeling much better and happy. I went into the house, to inform Jake that I was leaving. "So how'd it go?" he asked. He didn't look as worried as he should be. I rolled my eyes. "You heard everything" I accused. He chuckled. "I didn't want things to get out of hand. Sam's still depressed" he said, calmly.

"Well, things went just fine, and it's about time I went home" I said, sighing. He walked outside with me. "So, who won the couch fight?" I asked, suddenly remembering. "Embry" replied Jacob chuckling. "He ripped Jared's pants off!". I laughed. "Embry yanked the poor guy's pants down, and he was damn embarrassed, since Emily was there, and we dragged his pants back on, Embry was already fast asleep on the couch" he said, chortling. I laughed harder. "They had quite the fight I tell you. I can't wait to rub it Paul's face. He doesn't know what he missed" continued Jake. "Good luck with that" I said, climbing into the truck. He shut the door. "Good night" I said, waving. "Good night to you too. I'm gonna have awesome dreams tonight" he said, winking. For some weird reason, I blushed, and rolled my eyes in unison. "I got a long night's sleep, I have to make the best of it" he stated, smirking.

I tried hard not to blush. "Well bye, Jake" I said, not looking at him. "Bye honey, sleep well. I know I will" he said, amused. "Jake!" I exclaimed embarrassed. He laughed and waved. I carefully drove down the moonlit lane, with a wide grin on my face.


	11. Chapter 11

_Disclaimer: I do not own twilight; if I did, do you think Jacob would end up Renesmee? So, I am not SM, so how can I own twilight? **First and foremost, thank you guys so much! A 101 reviews? Awesome! I love you all!**_** _You've made me the happiest girl in the world! Really, I can't thank you enough, I'm ecstatic right now! A big thanks to all my readers, for your marvellous reviews! I love you guys, I really do. _**_Now, for the sad news, college starts next week! Ya, I know, boring. I'm nervous and excited in unison, but I hope I can survive for three years. Can anyone give me tips on how to survive in college? Hehe, ok, enough about me. I updated early as a gift to you all, and I have a very important announcement. I know you may be furious at me after reading this, but I think this maybe my last chapter of this fanfic. I think I should stop writing it. I've lost interest. I know it sounds ironic since you've given me a 101 reviews, I've sort of lost inspiration to write this. Let me know what you all think. If you want me to continue, please let me know. But if I do decide to continue, you must give me time to update. Things you need to know, about this chapter:_

_I spent all night writing this._

_I hope it meets your expectations_

_Kindly review._

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><p>Chapter 11 – Instigation<p>

I drove back home, replaying Sam's words in my head. For the first time in my life, I went to bed with a huge grin on my face. With thoughts of Jacob lingering in my mind. For the first time, I actually realized how much Jacob really loved me. I couldn't believe anyone could love me to such an extent. It was the same way I had loved... no, I wouldn't think of him. I had to think about Jacob. _Jacob..._ I suddenly found myself smiling. Not a small smile, but a big happy one. My cheek bones hurt whenever I forced myself to smile earlier, now, it seemed so natural. I sighed, blissfully. What was happening to me? Why was I smiling? Why was I so cheerful?

I questioned myself. I was always happy around Jacob, but today, something happened. Something different. I recalled the feel of his arm around my waist, the feel of his warm cheek on my face, his hand intertwined with mine. I had hugged Jake countless number of times, and even comforted him. What changed today? Was it because that I had finally let go of Edward? Was it possible for me to live without him?

I suddenly realized something. I_ was_ living without him, and that too, a life that was not a life at all. I began to comprehend Sam's words, _how is that one person can change and affect another so much?_ I realized that it held authentic to me and Edward too. How had affected me in such a way? He hadn't just meant me and Jacob, he meant me and Edward too. The same way Edward affected me, I affected Jacob. I recalled the various times Jacob's emotions reflected on mine, before the imprint. How I felt the horror he felt when he told me about Sam's gang. His sadness, his smiles, his infectious laughter...

Sam was right. Jacob and I were actually meant for each other. If Edward didn't exist, things would've gone exactly as planned by nature. Fate would've brought me closer to Jacob. He was Charlie's best friend's son for God's sake! He wouldn't change into a werewolf, and it would've been the natural path my life would've taken. I would've fallen in love with Jacob. Not because of his looks, but because of who he was. _Jacob, my Jacob._ I pictured his warm, sunny smile. It was instantly replaced by an angry looking Jacob, who hissed "It's their fault for existing.". So it was my good vampires fault for existing?

That didn't seem a false accusation, since the Quileutes theory was accurate. It was because of them, Sam had to face what he had today. Why was life so iniquitous to all good people? It seemed so wrong. He deserved a happy ending, a happy life. I would've ended up like Leah if Jacob had imprinted on someone else. I need Jacob. He's my only salvation, solace and safe harbour. I couldn't imagine a day without Jacob. The same way I had imagined for Edward, but it was never the same for him. I gasped as I realized the role reversal. Jacob was me now, and I was Edward. I had the power to destroy Jacob's heart, just like Edward had destroyed mine. Shattering it to pieces. I had to be careful not to do that.

No, I wouldn't do that. I shouldn't compare Edward's and my relationship to mine and Jacob's relationship. They were completely dissimilar. It wasn't fair for me to compare Jacob with Edward. They were two very distinct people, and diametrically opposite in physique and personality, and most of all, they were mortal enemies. It was impossible to evaluate one with the other.

I should get over Edward, as had Jacob stated. The pain in my chest hadn't disappeared, except that it didn't hurt a lot, and Jacob had something to do with it. I could love him that way...maybe. I spent another few minutes pondering, and I finally fell asleep. I had a nice dream, but I couldn't remember it in the morning, when I woke up.

I spent most of my time at Jacob's for the next few days, chatting with Billy, who told me Jacob's antics since he was a kid. Listening to it was quite enjoyable. Emily and Kim would stop by, and we would listen to ancient Quileute legends. Even Kim, who had complained about the Quileutes boring history. Billy sure knew how to tell a tale. I always listened enraptured. Turns out that Jacob's great grandfather, Ephraim Black, was a legendary Quileute tribe leader, and Levi Uley, Sam's grandfather, was the second in command. Jacob should've been Alpha, but he refused, because of his stubbornness. At least that's what Billy told me. "I hoped that once he had settled in, and gotten used to all this, he would've taken his rightful position as Alpha. But he's obdurate. He refuses. So the council, Jacob and Sam would be the second in command, until Jacob's ready to take this position.".

Something told me that wasn't going to happen, ever. I felt flabbergasted and shocked at the news. So Jacob was meant to be Alpha, and not Sam. But why didn't he want to Alpha? Surely it was a great honour for him, to be the leader of his tribe? As Billy had stated, Jacob's great grandfather was a legendary chief. Didn't he want to continue the legacy and follow his great grandfather's footsteps? And why hadn't Jacob told me all this? It seemed so mind boggling. I had millions of questions in my mind. I was so busy completing my homework, cooking for him and Billy, and hanging with Emily and Kim, that I hadn't got a chance to really discuss these things. But whenever Jake came home, we rarely had conversations.

Since he was patrolling twelve hours a day, he was clearly fatigued. We never had time for conversations. He would come home, greet us, and eat, and go back. If it weren't to for Billy, Kim and Emily's company, I've would've died of boredom. I was missing him terribly. At least him, being around satisfied my imprinted urge. Today, I decided to ask him about the Alpha business, if I could. He showed up exactly on time, looking worn out. He planted a kiss on my forehead, which suddenly made my heart flutter. This was another feeling which I never had. Since when did my heart flutter? Even when I was with Edward, my heart never felt this way. He began eating, actually gulping down everything. I sat next to him, which made him and me, happy. He went to sleep, before I could put a word in. Billy wasn't that sympathetic towards his son, though he knew that Jacob was worn out, he simply stated that Jacob could look after himself. And now, I knew why. Billy had explained that a werewolf's body were designed to bear with all obstacles. I hadn't had a conversation with him in days. My personal longing for his company, and my imprint's restlessness was sometimes hard to maintain. Billy had gone to visit someone at noon, with Emily. So I was alone with Jake today.

Seeing him like this, dead, gave me a heart ache. After he ate, he crashed on the couch, and began stretching. After I put all the things away, I saw him, impatiently waiting. "Hurry up Bells. I'm getting sleepy," he said, yawning, and patting the space next to him. At first, I didn't comprehend what he was saying. Then, recognition flickered across my face. "Jake, why don't you sleep on the bed?" I asked, worriedly walking up to him. "You're patrolling twelve hours a day; don't you think it's better if you slept in your room? I'm sure it's much more comfortable than the couch."."Naw, I like sleeping on the couch. It has a great advantage that my bed doesn't." he said, grinning. "What's that?" I asked mystified. "You." he replied. I stared dumbstruck. "Me?" I stammered. He nodded. "It's a lot more comfier sleeping on your shoulder than on my bed. Unless of course you prefer joining me in my bed," he replied, with a devilish wink. We were comfortable in each other's silence. We would lean into each other, and sit on the couch, and Jake would sleep on my shoulder, or sometimes, he would accidently end up on my chest, which embarrassed me, but I soon got over it. I would watch a movie or TV, while he slept peacefully.

"JAKE!" I exclaimed, mortified. He chuckled. "So, you see, I'm more than comfortable on your shoulder." he explained, as a matter of factly. I blushed madly. "So honey, you coming over here or what?" he asked, unashamed. I stood there, idly blushing. "Honey... I'm waiting." he said, almost impatiently, as if he were my husband, waiting to seduce me. I hid my gaze from his, and sat next to him, but a little further. But he apparently, wasn't having any of that. He yanked me closer to him, and settled on my shoulder before I could protest.

In a matter of seconds, he was fast asleep. His snores grew louder. I idly watched the images which flickered on TV, but I was distracted by Jake's heavy snoring. I leaned back on the couch, and instantly I found Jacob's head on my chest. I'm sure the colour of my skin was redder than a tomato's. I tried to push his head away, but boy, was his heavy. He almost woke up, due to my attempts to push him away. But quickly, went back to sleep again. I went further end of the couch, so that his head would be on my lap. I switched off the television, and gazed at his flawless sleeping face. He looked a lot like _my _Jacob now. His serene expression made my heart melt. I brushed his smooth silky hair. It was such a pity that he had to cut off those shiny, silky tresses. I found my hands playing with his hair. I had forgotten to ask Jacob why he refused the Alpha position. Maybe the pressure was too much. Then, a thought suddenly struck me. _Maybe it was because of me_. He probably couldn't cope up with all this because of me. His insane imprint was always a nuisance. How could he put up with all my antics and insane behaviour, and yet handle the pressure of running a wolf pack? Of course it was too much pressure. It was foolish of me not to realize it. He was only a sixteen year old boy. How much could a normal teen handle?

No, I thought fiercely. He would get his birth right. I would help him through all this. It was my responsibility as his imprint to lighten his burden. I was really grateful to my twisted fate for this blessing, of having Jacob as my imprinter. It was a sanction in disguise, which I had never realized. And neither did Jacob. He suddenly shifted his moments to get more comfortable.

I realized that lack of sleep wasn't going to help him. Looking at him now, sleeping, clearly exhausted, made me feel upset. Why did he have to go through all this for me? Couldn't he just be a normal teenager? I fervently hoped that the Pack caught Victoria soon. For their sake, and Jacob's too. He looked dead these days. I stroked his cheek affectionately. "My Jacob." I murmured. For the next four hours, I was fast asleep just like Jacob. When I woke up, it was almost four. I tried to awaken Jake, who seemed reluctant to even move. Finally, he woke up, groggy, and he almost seemed angry to leave. I couldn't blame him. He cursed under his breath, and stretched around. Finally, he planted a kiss on my forehead, and grudgingly went off to patrol.

The next day, Jake slept on my shoulder again, and this time, he nearly fell on my lap, disoriented. He hiked his arm around my thigh, making himself more comfortable. I was reading a book, and this made it hard for me to concentrate with Jacob's arm around my thigh. He was causing strange sensations all over my body, just like a few days ago. Since the past few days, I'd been busy, and I didn't have time to comprehend the feeling. I brushed my hand in his hair again. _So soft. So shiny and beautiful._ Just like his smooth russet skin...

Jacob's hair was something I was envious of, other than his stature. I spent the next three hours touching his lovely hair. It was almost as soft as Ed- no, not now. I thought, gulping, I began to sweat, and my heart began pounding. My body shook violently. I gripped Jacob's arm as a distraction and I rubbed my hand against his, and I was instantly comforted. Jacob's mere presence or touch always lightened up my mood. I maintained my position, and the pain subsided. When it was time for him to go, he looked more defiant and reluctant than yesterday.

The following morning, Billy greeted me, as I entered his house. I heard loud snores from Jake's room. "He's still here? Doesn't have to patrol?" I questioned surprised. "Well, he changed schedules with Sam apparently." answered Billy, shrugging. "The boy snores so loudly, that I can barely listen to what they're saying on the television!" he complained. I chuckled. I had to literally drag Jacob out of bed, with Billy's help. He came at four, all smiles. Billy was sleeping in his room. Jake occupied my lap. "Jake, I've meaning to ask you ask you something..." I began, but it was too late. He was already snoring. Today, I began admiring his body, something which I had never realized that I was capable of something like this.

I had never admired a boy's body, not even Edward's. But then again, he didn't walk half naked like Jacob. I had the sudden urge to touch his body. I rubbed my hands along his back, and it felt very good. Jacob made a sound, and I immediately halted, withdrawing my hand, startled. But again, the urge kept building through me. In order to distract myself, I switched on the TV, but it was getting harder to concentrate. What was wrong with me?

I had to snap myself out of it. Jacob had leaned countless number of times on my shoulder and walked around half naked, but I was never distracted this way, and never for so long. I began to feel tension inside of me, and this continued for a long while. I was relieved when it was time for him to patrol. He suddenly gave me a big mesmerizing smile, and debated with himself for a few seconds, and planted a kiss on my cheek, my to my astonishment. I felt the essence of his lips lingering on my cheek. He reluctantly pulled away, winked, and went outside with a big goofy grin on his face. My heart went wild. I stood staring after him. After a while, I shut the door, realizing that I had to. My brain had instantly switched off after the kiss. For the rest of the day, I was fidgety and restless. I cooked a lot more than required, and busied myself. Billy questioned my odd behaviour, and I brushed it away.

I read my book, as Billy was busy in his room. I had scraping noises from his room. Curious, I went in and to my surprise, I found him at his table, with dust and wood scattered all over it. "Hey Billy, what're you doing?" I inquired. "Carving." he replied. I admired the lovely little pieces of craved figures, each unique from the other. There were at least forty of them. "Billy, they're beautiful." I said, in an awed voice. That apparently pleased him. "Thanks Bella," he said, laughing. "Did you make all of them?" I asked, carefully observing them. "Well yes, most of them. Jacob's made some too." he replied, scraping off the wood. "Jacob?" I asked surprised. "Yes, I taught him when he was younger." replied Billy, carefully carving with a small knife.

"Well, he didn't tell me a thing!" I exclaimed annoyed. Billy chuckled. "Well, I guess he was being modest, and we all have secrets Bella." he stated. I snorted. "Jacob's been more than modest Billy," I said, sourly. "I can't believe he didn't tell me a thing!". I sulked for a few minutes after watching Billy. "So which ones has Jacob made?" I asked, looking at the line of figures. "The soldier with a sword, the smaller ones, the one to the left." he said, not looking up. They were a fine collection, but not as precise as Billy's. I had a lot to say to Jacob when he came back.

I spent a long time admiring the carvings. "Billy, do you think you can teach me how to carve?" I asked, suddenly. "Sure. But I wouldn't want you to cut your finger or anything, and I don't want Charlie accusing me of hurting his little girl," he replied amused, and clearly teasing me. I laughed. "I'm sure you'll survive." I said, jovially. "How long have you known to carve?" I asked. "Since I was a little boy. My father taught me." he replied pushing away the unwanted pieces. "And you taught Jacob. To carry on the tradition," I stated. He nodded. "Thanks Billy." I said and I let him continue his carving. I was probably the only one with no special talent at all. I couldn't believe Jacob had kept so many secrets from me. Some best friend he was.

When he came come, I planned to give him a piece of my mind, but as soon as I saw that exhausted face, my heart melted as always, and I felt the same odd sensation, as earlier, as I saw his body half naked. I didn't look at him during lunch, and ignored him. Billy smiled to himself, amused. "What's up with her?" asked Jake, when I was in the kitchen. "Watch out son, your girl's pretty angry," replied Billy amused. "But what did I do? I've been patrolling all day!" he asked, sounding terrified. Did I scare Jacob_ that_ much? I wondered. "She looked really mad.". His father merely chuckled. "Apparently, you've been keeping many secrets from her." he elucidated. "Secrets?"asked Jake, surprised. "She'll tell you soon enough son, so until then, be ready." replied Billy, almost laughing.

I wouldn't even look at Jake while serving, which got him pretty worried. Billy observed, clearly enjoying himself. I bet he would gossip to Charlie about his only son, being petrified of Chief Swan's only daughter, who wasn't even half his size. When Billy retired to his room, and I refused to sit next to Jacob. "Bells, honey, you gotta tell me why you're angry, otherwise, how do I make it up to you?" he said, looking at me, as I stared out of the window. "Well, I'm mad at you Jacob Black for keeping important things from me." I stated coldly, my back turned towards him. "Important things? Like what?" he questioned, surprised. "Like about you being the second in command for your pack, and the rightful Alpha." I answered in a monotone. He muttered something intelligible. "Old man! Did he have to?" he asked defiant. "Don't blame this on Billy, if it weren't for him, I would've never known." I said, fuming. I could hear Jacob grunting and making all sorts noises. "Honey, why don't we go out? We can discuss this outside," he said, making peace.

"Why? Can't we talk here?" I asked, coldly. "I don't want my prying father to eavesdrop." he stated, and grabbed my arm, and led me to the garage. This physical contact had my heart speeding up. What was going on? I wondered. He sat in the rabbit, and I followed, and sat as far as possible from him. "Bells..." he pleaded. I looked at the other direction childishly. "Bells, honey let me explain," he whined. I stubbornly maintained my position. Suddenly, I felt his hot hand on my chin, and he turned my face to his. I gasped at the proximity. His lovely coal black irises bored into mine, and he yanked me closer to him. "Look at me Bella," he said, calmly.

My heart skipped a beat at that voice. "Honey, I never told you all those things because it never came up" he stated, his arm still around my waist. "And lately I've been so exhausted, that I can barely think straight". That made me felt devastated. Poor Jacob. "So, I'm really sorry that I didn't tell you honey. Besides, I didn't want to bore you with the Pack stuff, and all this crazy stuff about the imprinting going on," he said, apologizing. I opened my mouth to forgive him, but I backtracked. "Jake, why would Pack stuff bore me? It's as important to me as you. How can you even think that?" I scolded. "I thought that you could read me like a book,". He looked mournful. "Sorry honey." he mumbled. "So, are you going to tell me the reason why you refused to be the Alpha?" I asked, callously.

He frowned, uncomfortable with my questions. "I didn't want any of it, Bella. I didn't want anything to change. I didn't want to be some legendary chief. I didn't want to be part of a pack of werewolves, let alone their leader. I wouldn't take it when Sam offered" he replied, not looking at me. He gip loosened around my waist. "But I thought you were happier. That you were okay with this," I finally whispered. Jacob smiled down at me reassuringly. "Yeah. It's really not so bad. After letting you know and all" he stated. "So - so you didn't turn down the offer because of me? Because I was too much of an extra burden along with the Alpha thing?" I asked, hesitantly.

He almost looked angry hearing my question. "Bella! How could you even think that?" he demanded. "Of course not! I didn't reject the Alpha authority because of you, what on earth made you think that?". I stared lamely at him. "Well, I already told you that I don't want to Alpha, and why, so don't ever blame yourself for anything. You more than anything to me." he said fiercely. "So, you rejected the Alpha position because you didn't want to be Chief?" I clarified. He nodded. "It was not because you couldn't handle balancing me and the Pack.". He nodded. "Honey, what makes you think you're a burden?" he asked, kindly.

"Well, I keep hurting myself, you and everyone else I meet. I'm insane, I hear voices in my head," I began. "I have the ability to attract danger to me. So how am I not a burden?". Jacob hugged me, and silenced me. "You're not a burden, and none of it's your fault. Even the fact that you're a big klutz, but surprisingly you have a stronger immune system that I thought." he teased. I slapped his shoulder. "Just joking honey. You're the most important thing to me in this world. You just remember that." he stated, embracing me tighter. "Really?" I breathed. "Yes." he replied, burying his hair in my chest. "Jake, can I ask you something?" I began cautiously. "Sure," he said, in a husky voice. "It's about imprinting." I stated. He looked up at me, with the imprint look. "Well, what do you want know? I've already told you everything." he said, surprised. "Well, it's something Sam actually said to me." I stated. "It got me thinking."

"What did Sam say?" he questioned. "Well, he said that Leah accused him of not loving her enough, and that's why he didn't imprint on her." I answered, uncomfortably. Jake shifted unnervingly too. It wasn't an easy topic for either of us. "Well, that may or may not be true. We're still not sure how imprinting works. I mean look at you, you're not Native American, and you're still my imprint. So that means there's something we're missing." he said, sighing. I cleared my throat. "Well Sam has a theory," I said, not looking at him. "What theory?" he asked, surprised. "Well, he thinks that you love me enough, or more than required, and that's why you imprinted on me." I said, swallowing. Jacob gazed hard at me.

"Well, that could be one reason," he agreed. "What else do you think could be the reason?" I inquired. "Well, I think imprinting is probably because of convenience." he admitted, surprising me. "Convenience?" I repeated. He brushed his hand through his hair. "Well, I mean we all imprinted on the most convenient people possible. I mean look at Jared and Kim, he sat right next to her in class. They were bound to be together either way, if Kim had the guts to open her mouth, which she would've I'm sure." he explicated. "And look at me and you. We're best friends. We already knew each other. And Sam ... well..."

"Your theory doesn't apply to Sam," I argued. "If it was for convenience, he would've imprinted on Leah, and not Emily.". "That's where Sam's theory comes in, I guess." he said, shrugging. "I doubt it. How is it possible Jake? Jared barely knew Kim existed until he imprinted." I countered. "Sam didn't know Emily either and you ..." I paused abruptly. "And I always loved you." he finished, looking hard into my eyes. I tore my eyes away from his gaze. "I always have, and I always will love you". My heart pounded at a rate which frightened me. I could feel his emotion through our imprint. "So Sam's theory isn't completely wrong after all." he stated.

I swallowed a couple of times. I comprehended what he was saying. "But they contradict each other," I realized. "They're diametrically opposite.". "I guess you right." Jacob agreed. I gazed at his face, and decided to ask him what was bugging me for days. "Jake, can I ask you something? Would you be honest?" I questioned. "You just did, and yes, I'll answer honestly, I would never lie to you." he answered chuckling. "What was it like when you imprinted on me? I mean what did you feel?" I asked, curious. He sighed. "Such a simple question, and such a complicated answer." he mused. "Well, when I first saw you, after I transformed, well, I couldn't stop staring at you. You suddenly became the centre of my world. It was like you were the sun and I was the earth revolving around you. Or like you were the earth, and me the moon, made just to revolve around you". I stared in wonder. " Like you were my one and only" he said, looking at the starry night outside. "Like you were the only thing that mattered. Everything inside me came undone as I stared at your tiny porcelain face. All the lines that held me to my life were sliced apart in swift cuts, like clipping the strings to a bunch of balloons. Everything that made me who I was –my love for my father, my loyalty to my pack, the love for my other brothers, my hatred for my enemies, my home, my name, my self – disconnected from me in that second _snip, snip, snip _– and floated up into space."

He closed his eyes, as he was replaying the experience in his mind. "I was not left drifting. A new string held me where I was. Not one string, but a million. Not strings, but steel cables. A million steel cables all tying me to one thing – to the very center of the universe. I could see that now – how the universe swirled around this one point. I'd never seen the symmetry of the universe before, but now it was plain. The gravity of the earth no longer tied me to the place where I stood. I saw only you." he stated smiling. I found tears overflowing down my cheeks. I really didn't deserve all this devotion. "Oh Jacob!" I exclaimed.

His head snapped up and he directly turned to me, his expression immediately altering. "What did I say honey? Don't cry!" he said, upset, and I found my face in his chest. "No, Jake, what you said was wonderful" I stated, sniffing. "You've made me the luckiest girl in the world.". He looked elated at my declaration. "No honey, you've made me the luckiest guy in the world. I'm so glad that I imprinted on you and not anyone else," he said, smiling blissfully. "So now you know what you mean to me, and how much it would mean to lose you. I'd be devastated without you Bells." he said, turning serious. "I won't let anything happen to you honey. I swear. You just be careful okay? Look after yourself."

More tears flew down. I really didn't deserve Jake, at all. "I will, and you have to promise me that you will too." I said, sniffing again. "I already have." he stated, slowly wiping the tears off my face. "You know that you're my life right? I'd die without you?". "Jake, have you ever wondered what would've happened if you hadn't imprinted on me?" I asked, cautiously. His deportment altered. His expression clearly showed that he didn't even like to think that was possible. "I don't know. I never thought of it I guess." he replied shrugging.

"I think I do. I'd continue calling you, and you'd go on ignoring me. I would've confronted you, and you would've asked me to go away. And I would've never found out the truth about you" I stated, sadly. "Bella..." he said, and wrapped his arm my waist. "Honey, I think you've underestimated my self control.". My heart skipped a beat. "Honey, it wasn't for very long that I could stay away from you" he revealed, staring into my eyes. I stared back, awed. "I was already living everyday fighting with Sam to let me see you. You didn't know how much it hurt me to ignore your calls, and listen to Billy to lie to you every day. How agonized I felt when I heard you scream at night. And believe me honey, all this was before the imprint.".

"I would've eventually found a way to meet you," he admitted. "To help you guess the truth about me". "Really?" I asked, doubtfully. "Of course you silly girl!" he said, nuzzling my neck. That sent electric shocks through my body. "You don't know how much you mean to me" he murmured in my ear. My heart went wild and hammered into my chest. I'm pretty sure that he could hear it. His sensations on my neck sent shivers down my back. "I can't afford to lose you," he continued. "I'd die without you.". I was pretty sure that I would die of heart failure, if I escaped Victoria's clutches. Suddenly, a thought occurred. "If I meant so much to you, than why didn't you tell me anything?" I demanded, breaking free from his embrace. "About what?" he asked, frustrated. "I already told you everything." "Well, you haven't. There's one thing that you left out. Actually, after this, I think there are lots of things you haven't told me about yourself." I said, firmly, folding my arms on my chest. "What did I leave out?" he questioned. "Why didn't you tell me that you could carve?" I demanded. "Because it never came up." was his instant reply.

"You already gave that excuse" I stated sourly.

"It's not an excuse Bella, its true," he said, as a matter of factly.

"Sure it is." I mocked.

"Honey..." he pleaded.

I turned my face away again. "So, you saw my Dad carving did you?" he asked peculiarly.

I nodded. "And I wouldn't have known either, if he hadn't told me." I stated unpleasantly.

"I told you, it never came up." he defended.

"Sure it didn't. It never came up when we hung out all those times together."

"What could say? One moment we're working on our bikes, and the next moment you expect to say - hey Bella! I can carve!"

I rolled my eyes. "You could've stated it as your hobby."

"Sure, sure. So did you see the collection?"

"I did. It was exquisite. Billy showed me the ones you made" I answered, refusing to look at him.

"So, did you like them?'

"I did. They were very nice. But I think Billy's was more precise."

"Well, you've seen the master at work. He's the best."

"Oh. He told me that you've doing it since you were a kid."

"Yeah. You know what, I think I will carve again, when I get time, and I just know what to make."

I sensed the longing emotion in his voice, and the feeling through the imprint. I noticed that he was slowly tilting his head towards mine, and his arms slowly wrapped around my waist, pulling me closer. My breathing went up a notch, and I could feel the tension in the air. Jacob was moving closer to me and I could almost feel his breath on my face. I was lost in those deep irises. His lips were an inch apart from mine. I stayed still, anticipating, and suddenly, I felt the warm lips pressed on mine. My brain suddenly switched off, and my hormones went wild, and unrealizingly, I was kissing him back.

It was the sweetest kiss I ever had. I slowly wrapped my arms around his neck, and his hands were now wound tight around my waist. My lips moved in a way which they had never before. Against all reason, my lips were moving with his in strange, confusing ways they'd never moved before — because I didn't have to be careful with Jacob, and he certainly wasn't being careful with me. He kept lowering me slowly, in order to deepen the kiss. It was the best kiss I had ever had. I refused to think about_ him_, when I was being kissed like this. All I could feel was his warms lips on mine, and his hands on my waist. My hands reached for his smooth hair, pulling him closer. It was the best feeling I ever had. Those warm lips, those warm hands were something. I never wanted to break apart, and I kept pulling him closer. His hands began to move up and down my waist, and I was desperately kissing him back. When we broke apart, I didn't know who was more unwilling to break apart, me or him. After I got my breath back, and my mind comprehended what just happened, I began blushing, and also panting for air. "That was sure something huh?"he asked, sounding euphoric. I nodded. "Yeah. It was" I replied, breathless. Since we had broken apart, I was yearning for more. I peeked at Jacob, and I saw that he was in bliss. I couldn't help but feel the same, and the imprint really helped. Jacob was ecstatic, and so was I.

We sat in the Rabbit like that, in enjoyment and contentment. I didn't apprehend that I was ecstatically beaming just as he was. I didn't bother about the present time, place or situation. All I feel was Jacob and the kiss. I couldn't compose myself for a long time, and neither could Jacob. I could feel his inner struggle to control himself. I couldn't believe it. _I had finally kissed Jacob Black._ I had a strong feeling that things would go very well from now on. I let out a huge breath, feeling the best I've ever felt in my life.

"Jacob..." I asked, abruptly. "Hmm?" he asked, beaming. My heart began pounding again, and I forgot to speak. That warm, sunny smile, the radiance, the aura around him, left me speechless. _This, is my Jacob_. I realized that I was staring at him, devotionally admiring his handsome face. "Uh...you didn't tell me what you were planning to make." I asked lamely. He chuckled, amused."I think you should know the answer by now." he said, smiling. "Uh... no, I don't." I said, mystified. He moved closer to me, and our foreheads touched, and I could feel his warm breath on mine. I was lost in the sea of those black pools. "You." he murmured.


	12. Chapter 12

_Disclaimer: __**Of course I don't own twilight! I'm not a 35 year old lady called SM, so obviously I don't own it!**__**IMPORTANT ANNOUNCEMENT: I WILL BE CONTINUING THIS STORY! YES, IT'S TRUE! I LOVE YOU GUYS! THANK YOU SO MUCH! I SWEAR, I WILL UPDATE EVERY ONCE IN THREE WEEKS! I would like to apologize to all my readers for being so inconsiderate, I hope you can forgive me.**_

_Thank you so much for all your advise on college. I will maintain my update schedule. I'm very glad that I'm not SM, because I wouldn't be posting this fanfic, and I would've never met such wonderful people. __**Thank you so much. I really want to thank you for your faith in me. I feel as if I've won the global globe award for best writer! I will finish this fanfic! And as another gift, I'm writing another fanfic for all you Jacob lovers!**_

_Now after that rather loud disclaimer, things you need to know about this chapter:_

_This is my gift for you all. I hope it meets your expectations._

_Kindly excuse me if they are any grammatical mistakes, since my computer isn't working properly._

Chapter 12- Innate

I was smiling ecstatically. I had never felt this happy in my whole life. I was in heaven. My mind kept replaying my first kiss with Jacob. So warm, so beautiful, so loving... I wanted more. It was definitely the best kiss I've ever had. I had never felt such sensations in my body. Jacob... I could feel the same blissful feeling through our imprint. I began humming a tune, and I felt divine. I cooked dinner for Billy and Jacob, and when I served Billy, he smiled happily, noticing my pleasant demeanour. "Well, Bella, you seem in a good mood all of a sudden."he commented. I smiled brightly at him. "I guess so." I said, placing his plate on the table. He observed me all through dinner. "You know Bella, you're an excellent cook. I wish you could teach Jacob and Rachael."he said, grinning. "Sure." I agreed. "How's Rachael doing?" I asked, still smiling broadly.

"Good. She'll be back in a few months."he replied. "Did I tell you about the time when Rachael forced Jacob to play dress up?" he asked, eagerly. "No, tell me." I replied, evenly eager. Turns out that Rachael made Jacob wear her frock, plaited his hair and put some girly make up on, and paraded around LaPush with Rebecca and him with an umbrella. Billy had even taken a picture of it. It was apparently somewhere in the upstairs room. I laughed merrily at his vivid description of poor Jacob's discomfort. Apparently, he blushed the whole time, while everyone thought that he was a girl, and Rachael had made him wear a hat. We were interrupted by his loud snores.

"Speak of the wolf, and he shall snore."quoted Billy. I laughed whole heartedly. I put all the plates away, and washed all the dishes while Billy continued telling stories of Jacob's childhood. I almost dropped the plate in my hand, laughing at Billy's narration. After I was done with the dishes, it was time for me to go, and I was reluctant. I could've sat all night listening to Billy's stories. But I sighed, remembering Charlie. He needed someone to make dinner. Billy laughed, noticing my unenthusiastic expression. "Don't worry Bella, there's time tomorrow, and I'm not going anywhere anytime soon."he comforted. I drove home with the biggest smile on my face. I recalled Billy's story and laughed aloud. I cooked for Charlie, my mood remaining constant. When he came home, he was shocked to see me smile so blissfully.

I excitedly narrated the story Billy told me, and Charlie told me some more, and we had a lively conversation, up till midnight. I didn't want to go to sleep at all. But I had to. I leaned and stared outside the window, knowing that Jacob was patrolling out there. "Good night Jake." I murmured, hoping that he would hear. And I dreamt of our amazing kiss.

The next morning, I was in an ecstatic mood just like yesterday, much to Charlie's amazement. "Hi Dad!" I greeted cheerfully, as he came downstairs. He almost tripped sown the stairs in shock at my loud greeting. "Hi Bells. What's for breakfast?" he asked, smiling brightly. "Italian pasta."I replied, placing some on his plate. "Smells delicious."he complimented. I smiled radiantly. "Thanks Dad."I said, sitting down. Breakfast was pleasant, as Charlie conversed pleasantly.

"Hanging out with Jake?" he asked, trying to be casual. I nodded, still smiling. "Say hi to Billy for me. I haven't seen him in weeks."said Charlie,with a sad expression. Ever since Harry's death, he hadn't seen his best friend. He had just begun to recover from his loss. "Sure thing Dad." I said, putting the dishes away. "I'll tell him. What do you want for dinner?". I hoped that this would distract him. My plan worked, and Charlie's face lightened up, when I promised to make him his favourite dish. He left for work in an good mood, much to my relief. I left for LaPush, and I was greeted by Jacob's strident snoring as Billy opened the door. "The boy just won't stop."stated Billy resigned. I laughed. "He's been like that since yesterday."he grumbled. "I bet he ran an extra hundred miles.". I gave him a puzzled expression."He jumped out joyfully, like a girl, going for a kitty party," he continued, wheeling himself into the hell. "Wonder what's gotten into the boy.". I blushed, realizing the cause of Jacob's exceptional mood. The kiss was definitely something to be excited over.

Billy resumed storytelling, which held my attention, while I made lunch. I didn't notice the time fly by, and it was already time to wake Jake up. I could hear his horrendous snores. "It's like his growling."groused Billy, with a sour look. I laughed again. When I woke Jake, he gave me his sunniest smile. He looked at me in elation, and my heart began hammering against my chest. Since when did Jacob have such an effect on me? But, my pulse began racing only when I noticed him wearing only his boxers. I attempted to turn away from his perfect body, but my inarticulate mind wouldn't allow it. "Ah Jake, time to patrol." I mumbled swallowing. I was sure that I began sweating. I stood frozen on the spot staring at him, unable to avert my gaze. Jake had no intention of moving either. He continued to stare back, blissfully, and I felt longing desire from him. I swallowed again. His body was perfect. I had the urge to run my hand across those perfect muscles."Bella! Is he up yet?" called Billy. I immediately snapped out of my trance. "Yeah! I'm up Dad!"yelled Jacob, loudly, muttering something under his breath.

"Uh honey, I gotta change and shower and stuff, so unless you wanna join me or help..." he began. I gawked at him, my mouth agape in mortification. I couldn't even react. I stood there, motionless, while he laughed, and winked. He got up and grabbed a towel and a pair of jeans."I'm going to take a shower, unless you wanna join me..." he began again. This time, I found my voice. "Jake!" I squeaked. He chuckled."I'll leave the door open just in case..." he taunted. I fought to stifle my scream. Instead, I stormed out of the room mechanically, hearing Jacob's chuckles lingering in the hallway.

"What the hell is wrong with that boy?" wondered Billy, who apparently didn't notice my petrified expression. When Jacob came downstairs, I tried my best to avoid my gaze from his, but my eyes robotically turned to look at him. He was smirking at me, while he scarfed down breakfast. He winked at me, and pecked me on the cheek, before I shut the door, and went off whistling into the woods. My heart raced wildly, and my face turn flush."See what I mean, he's completely lost it."stated Billy, shaking his head, in forfeit. I thought that I saw him smirk. I stood staring after Jacob, until Billy asked whether I was expecting someone to come in. I composed myself, shut the door, and tried to hide my flushed face. I eagerly began listening to Billy's stories, trying to forget images of Jacob's perfect body. I chortled while eating, and almost choked myself hearing Billy's jokes. I never knew that he could be so jovial.

"Oh hey Billy, Charlie wanted me to tell you he said 'hi' and he was missing his fishing partner. He's sad that he hasn't seen you in weeks." I said, remembering. "Well, with all that's happening, I guess I never had time to catch up to Charlie." replied Billy, sighing. Why was I doing this to people?

"Hey Billy, why don't we have a party at my house?" I suggested, suddenly getting an idea. "Party?" asked Billy, surprised. "Yeah, like a get together. It'll be fun. I'll make pancakes and lasagna had we'll order Pizzas" I said, enthusiastically. "And you can watch the game with Charlie.". "Sounds like a good idea to me."he approved, smiling. "So, did Rachael really put seaweed in Jacob's hair?" I asked, chuckling. "You bet. I made her remove each one."replied Billy sniggering. "I grounded her for weeks. She was so mad at Jacob for ratting her out . But it's still a mystery how the girl thought that she could get away with such an obvious prank.".

He began telling stories of me and Jake when we were kids, which made me sit up. There were so many memories of Jacob, which I couldn't recall, until today. When Jake came back, he was still smiling, and he beamed when he saw me. I smiled back, but unfortunately, and much to my horror, my attention was diverted to his body yet again, and I almost ran into the kitchen. "Son, I'm warning you. You're going to have to close the door this time. I'm having my afternoon nap now. I can't bear to hear any of your loud snoring. And you need to sleep in your room. I'm going to sleep now, and I don't want to be disturbed until dinner, is that clear?" warned Billy. "Sure thing, Dad."replied Jacob, cheerfully. He didn't sound in the least offended. I served Jacob lunch, after he helped Billy on to the bed. Billy demanded that the door remained closed. I tried my hardest to avert my gaze from him, but I almost ended up spilling the lasagna on the table. Jake chuckled, clearly amused at my antics, but all the same, he ate hungrily. He kept giving me the imprint look while eating, and I noticed the glaring black bags under his eyes.

When Jake took his usual position, this time, I decided firmly that he would listen to me. "No Jake, sleep on the bed. You heard what Billy said." I stated. "I'll try to keep it down."he said yawning. "No Jake, you don't understand, you look awful. You really need to rest." I explained, anxiously. I couldn't bear to look at his fatigued face. "Aw come on Bells..." he began. I gave him a bolshie glance."Fine, but you know my condition."he said standing up. "Fine. I'll come to your room." I said, firmly. At this point, I would do anything to get him to rest. He gave me a shocked glance, but noticed my concern. "Alright. Come on."he said, grabbing my hand, leading me up to his room.

He crashed on the bed, kicking the covers down. "Well, aren't you gonna join me?"he asked, patting the bed. I rolled my eyes. "I'll get my book." I said, and went downstairs. When I came back, he was fast asleep, lying on his stomach, his face turned towards me. He had kicked the covers off the bed, and I got a full view of his perfect body. I sat down on the chair next to the bed. I flipped the pages of my book, impatiently. It was an exigent task not to admire Jacob's body. I considered the possibility of going out of the room. Jacob was a distraction. A big distraction. I failed to avoid admiring at his handsome body.

After I was done admiring his flawless body, my attention abstracted to his face. I gazed lovingly at this boy. Jacob Black was the kindest, most patient, loving, and remarkable person I had ever met. He was magnificent in both character and body. He was really breathtaking, and so was yesterday's kiss. I longed to feel his soft lips again. They were amazing. Jacob knew exactly what he was doing. I wondered if he ever had experience in all this. Not that I had much, but I had only kissed a vampire, and there were boundaries too. But with Jacob, there were no boundaries at all. I yearned for another kiss, while I spent another two hours gazing at him. "Bella..." he said in a muffled voice. I jumped. "Bella" he said again. I wondered if he was calling me. Then, I realized that he was dreaming about me. I blushed and felt flattered in unison. It was nice to know that Jake dreamt about me.

I was really not worthy as someone as fantastic as him. He was perfect in every way. Talented, smart, funny, sensitive, sweet and kind. Edward was perfect too. But in a distinct way. He developed all his talents and qualities because he had forever to develop them. But Jacob was naturally talented. All his cheerfulness was genuine. I wondered what I had done to deserve such a fantastic soul mate. Edward's face was breathtaking and beautiful, but Jacob's face was a different kind of beautiful. It gave me pleasure to admire it.

When I noticed the sun go down, I unwillingly left his room to make dinner, and when I was done, I helped Billy onto his wheelchair. I had closed the door, but Jacob's snores could still be heard. "I'm going to have to talk to Sam, and ask him to keep Jacob at his house."complained Billy. I chuckled. "Really Bella, I wonder why he snores so loudly. Don't say genetics. I don't snore that loud that my neighbours complain about it, and neither did his mother. What are you feeding him Bella?" he continued, looked irritated.

"Why Billy, I feed him the exact same thing I feed you." I replied, innocently. "I highly doubt it. No sixteen year old can snore like that."he said snorting. "You're forgetting the werewolf factor." I added. Billy grunted. "I bet none of the others snore this loud."he argued. "Actually, Paul is a lot louder." I stated. "It's deafening sometimes. He stayed over once at Emily's. It was like a motor left running. At least that's what Emily said.". "Clearly she hasn't heard Jacob." disagreed Billy. "Really Billy, it isn't that bad." I comforted. "That's all you know. It's worse at night when he comes home late. It's like a thunderstorm inside the house."countered Billy. I laughed heartily at his declaration. I would tease Jacob about this, and those funny stories too.

I went home, and mentioned the party idea to Charlie, who instantly brightened up. We decided to have the party this Saturday. Jacob didn't show up for lunch the next day. I waited until supper, and when it was time for me to go, Jacob showed up, and crashed on the couch, without saying a word. For the next two days, he didn't show up at all, and I began to worry. Billy joked about how he didn't have to worry about hearing his son's dreadful snores anymore. But he too accredited that something was wrong. Jake wasn't in a physical stipulation to explicate anything to me.

Spring break was ending soon, and I hadn't heard from any of the colleges I had applied to. The Newton's had given me the Spring break off, unexpectedly, since Karen Newton and Mike were out of town for the holidays, and they wouldn't be back until the last day of the spring break. They had left Mr. Newton in charge, who had hired some boys, to change the embellishment of the shop, and this required professional help. So, it was pointless having me there, and I was lucky since a vendetta crazed vampire was chasing after me.

I was vexed that Victoria had made her appearance yet again. I spent hours mindlessly worrying, and Billy's jokes wouldn't comfort me. When I was on my way home, Jacob came up to me. "Honey, park your car in the garage, we need to talk."he said, exhausted. He hopped in, and I did as instructed. "What's wrong Jake?" I asked worried. "Is it Victoria?" I asked, anxiously. "No, it's not her, it's Quil."he replied, sighing. "Quil?" I asked surprised. "Yeah. Quil phased two days ago."he replied, stretching. "Oh, so that's why you were so busy." I acknowledged. So then it must have happened, what everyone was waiting for — Quil joined the pack.

"I'm sorry," I mumbled.

To my surprise, Jacob snorted. "Don't say that to him."

"What do you mean?"

"Quil's not looking for pity. Just the opposite — he's jazzed. Totally thrilled."

This made no sense to me. All the other wolves had been so depressed at the idea of their friend sharing their fate. "Huh?"

Jacob tilted his head back to look at me. He smiled and rolled his eyes.

"Quil thinks it's the coolest thing that's ever happened to him. Part of it is finally knowing what's going on. And he's excited to have his friends back — to be part of the 'in crowd.'" Jacob snorted again. "Shouldn't be surprised, I guess. It's so Quil."

"He likes it?"

"Honestly . . . most of them do," Jacob admitted slowly. "There are definitely good sides to this — the speed, the freedom, the strength . . . the sense of — of family . . . . Sam and I are the only ones who ever felt really bitter. And Sam got past that a long time ago. So I'm the cry baby now." Jacob laughed at himself. I couldn't laugh along, but I silently acknowledged the last sentence. "So everything's okay then?" I questioned, warily. He nodded, chortling. "You should've seen the look on Quil's face when he found out. He looked like a girl ready to get married! As if he'd been proposed!". I smiled in relief. I mentioned my fear of Victoria coming back. "There's no sign of her since that day."stated Jake, narrowing his eyebrows. "Jake, why do you think Victoria's hasn't shown up yet? It's been long enough."I asked, inquisitive. "Sam says that she's probably planning to come with complete preparation this time, but we're ready for her. We're training Quil too."he replied.

Victoria's menacing face envisioned in my mind, and I flinched. Jacob rubbed my back. "We'll get her soon enough. I never thought I'd ever be saying this, but we have Quil."he comforted, rolling his eyes. I smiled at that. He smiled back. "Jake, you were saying how hard it was for you to get over this wolf thing. Is it still bad?" I questioned, forlornly. "Well, not anymore." he answered, hesitant. "At first it was. Not telling you and stuff, and the imprint, our fight, your breakdown, that vampire... things are hard Bella. And with Quil's phasing, well, things are getting harder.". He paused and leaned back on the seat. "One after the other.". I felt overwhelming misery, as Jake's gloom combined with my pity and empathy. "Oh Jake!" I exclaimed, and flung my arms around his waist, and buried my face in his chest. "It'll all be alright! I'm there now. I'll be there with you all the time!"

I hugged him as hard as I could, and I felt him calm down instantly. He hugged back, and my words apparently comforted him. "Thanks Bells." He muttered. "You don't have to thank me for anything Jake. I'll always be here, no matter what." I assured. "Thank you," he murmured in my ear. I felt a tingly sensation in my spine. Jacob had strange effects on me. He placed his chin on my head, and I had the urge to lose myself into his lovely irises. We remained invariable in that position, warming up to each other's embrace. I sighed, yet again, recalling that I had to go home, which he sensed immediately.

"Come on, let's get you home."he said, stretching. "You're not sleeping?" I asked, surprised. "No, Sam's giving me tonight and tomorrow off for helping Quil. Embry and I were his friends, so Sam figured that if we helped him, he would catch up faster. "So, you're all friends again?" I asked, relieved. He nodded. "I was getting tired of hiding secrets from him. I'm glad it's over now."he stated. The drive home was pleasant. "Jake, please, just tell me next time okay? I was worried sick!"I said, rather loudly.

"Sure thing honey."he said, yawning. As I drove home, he elaborated on Quil's antics while training, and I almost crashed into another car, thoroughly sidetracked. "My, my, Chief Swan won't be happy to hear his only goody two shoes daughter almost smashed another car. It's upsetting really,"he teased, with a wicked grin. I rolled my eyes. "What will people think? The perfect Bella Swan almost got into a car accident."he continued, as I drove down the lane. "I'm sure Charlie won't appreciate knowing this. Luckily I was here to handle it."

"Really Jacob, what did _you_ do? You're the reason why I _almost_ crashed into another car. You're to blame." I said, dubiously. He gave faked a incredulous look."Me? What did I do? I'm perfectly harmless."he said, innocently, fluttering his eyes. I snorted, but chuckled after that. He really seemed more like _my Jacob _now. "Sure, sure, I'm sure anyone who takes one look at you, wouldn't exactly agree with you." I argued. "What do my looks have to do with anything?"he questioned. "It's not just your looks, it's your personality as well," I stated. "What's wrong with my personality now?"he demanded. "Absolutely nothing, except you have the ability to get everyone's exclusive attention at all times, which is dangerous, and also, you possess the aptitude to make everyone laugh hysterically."I replied, smiling broadly.

"So I make you laugh hysterically huh? I get your undivided attention huh?"he asked, in a husky voice. "Yup, that's right." I replied, feeling a strange sensation in my stomach. I stopped the truck in front of my house. "Well Jake I've got to..." I began, and suddenly noticed the way he was staring at me, and also, how low my voice was. I had_ that _marvellous sensation again, as I lost myself into Jacob's eyes. We gazed into each other's eyes, motionless. Jacob made the first move, and shifted closer to me, and opened his arms to embrace me, and I willingly let him wound his arm around my waist.

My heart began fluttering, as soon as his hot hands were around my mid section. He tilted his head closer to mine, and I mirrored his actions. He lifted my chin up, and I got a better view of those magnificent irises. I moved closer to him, ending the distance between us, and winding my arms around his neck. I could hear his breathing. And finally, his lips met mine. It was just like our first kiss, sweet, wonderful and mesmerizing. My lips moved against his talented ones, which seemed to have my attention. I almost forgot his equally gifted hands, until they started moving up my waist.

He pressed his mouth harder against mine, as I had almost pulled away due to the sensation all around my body. This made me kiss back harder, forgetting those endowed hands of his. I kissed back with equal force, and I pulled him closer, dissatisfied with the distance. He towed me closer, noticing my inconvenience. This kiss was more passionate than our first one. He lowered me and I kept pulling his him closer, as my hands explored his silky hair.

I hung on to him tighter, and my mind went blank, and my body only felt him. I was desperate and unwilling to let go. I loved his warmth around me. This wonderful feeling of heaven on earth. The feeling of my sun with me. Neither of broke apart, until we were out of oxygen. This time, both of us were equally disinclined.

It was one of the best moments of my life. I panted hard, feeling my heart mallet against my chest. I stared down the empty road, not capable of feeling any other sensation. It seemed unfair that my body should react this way, since I was sure that I would pass out. Jacob always had an effect on me, but this effect was unlike any other of his previous ones. It took me a while to compose myself, since Jacob's hormones seemed to dominate his imprint on me. Jacob sat on the passenger seat, breathing hard, but he wasn't looking me. He was gazing straight ahead, and had a blissful look across his face. His face glowed with ecstasy and his irises shone like the shimmering moonlight. My eyes softened at the expression._ My Jacob, my sun. _I smiled at him blissfully. How I adored this boy. He was my reason to live, and the reason to enjoy my life.

Jacob went home after a while, with rapturous demeanour, clearly overjoyed. I gazed lovingly after him. I parked my car in the driveway, and unlocked the door, and for once, I didn't mind the darkness. When I was done preparing dinner, I surprisingly heard the phone ring, and assumed that it was Charlie.

"Hello, Charlie?" I said.

"No Bella, it's me," said Renee, much to my astonishment.

"Hi Mom, how are you?" I chimed delighted.

She seemed stunned at my joyful tone. "Hi Bella, I'm fine honey, how are you?" she asked, slightly dazed.

"I'm great Mom!" I blurted out, before thinking, like a reflex action. "How's Phil?"

"He's fine dear, he says hi. Bella, I've called three times already today. Why didn't you pick up the phone?"

"Oh, sorry Mom, I was out." I replied, hastily.

"Where were you all day?" she questioned.

"At LaPush. At the Black's place." I answered, hoping she wouldn't pry too much.

"Oh, so you and Charlie were at Billy's?" she questioned, surprised. "I didn't think he would get weekdays off."

"Er no, Mom, Charlie wasn't with me. Just me." I answered uncomfortably.

"Oh. What did you do?" she asked, intriguingly. I knew what she was hinting at.

"Uh...nothing much, just hung out with Jake and Billy. Billy was telling me some childhood stories of me and Jacob." I replied, cautiously.

"Really? That's nice. Did he tell the time when I dressed you two up?" she said, jovially.

"Uh no. He didn't mention anything about that," I said, getting my previous fervour.

Renee launched into a comical tail of how she and Sarah, Jacob's mother, had dressed Jacob, me, Rachael and Rebecca, for a photo session. I laughed heartily when she narrated Jacob's most embarrassing moment, when his pants fell off, and Renee clicked the picture at the exact moment. I had one of the liveliest conversations I had ever had with my mother. I enlightened her about my daily events, how I was spending my Spring break, how things were changing between me and Jacob, which she had eventually guessed. No surprise there, but she was overjoyed, when I accidently muttered about our first two kisses.

"Oh honey, is he a good kisser?" she asked, squealed in excitement.

"Mom!" I exclaimed, in humiliation.

"I want to know all the details!" she squealed, delighted.

I explicated, my kissing experience with Jake, feeling mortified, and my face turning red with embarrassment. I'm glad that she couldn't see me; otherwise she would go on about it. Renee shrieked at every juicy detail.

"My baby girl's growing up! Finally! So, when are you planning to kiss him next?" she said, enthralled.

"Mom!" I exclaimed, turning scarlet.

"Honey, kissing in his car in his garage is not exactly I what I call romantic, and your car too, you should've picked a better place,"she stated, disapproving.

"Mom, does it really matter?" I asked, a little annoyed.

I couldn't understand the whole point of the location. It was the person that mattered, not the place. And with Jacob, well, I didn't choose the place or moment, it just sort of happened.

"But Mom, isn't that how kisses were supposed to be?" I asked, inquisitive. "Isn't it the person, and not the place that matters?"

"Well of course honey, the person matters, but the place where you've kissed matters too. It makes the memories more unforgettable."she replied, sensibly.

"Oh," was all that I said.

"So honey, next time you kiss, think about the place first."she advised.

"Okay Mom," I mumbled. "Hey Mom, can I ask you something?" I said, suddenly getting an idea.

"Sure honey, you don't need my permission, you can do anything you want," she stated.

"Uh no, it's not that. I want to ask you something about your ancestors." I clarified.

"Ancestors?" she repeated, sounding astonished.

"Yeah, about that, well, are all of your ancestors albinos?" I said, gulping.

"Well, honey, my great grandfather suffered from albinism, and so did the generations before him, so I guess they were all albino. Why do you ask?" she stated, her tone, astounded.

"Are you sure none of your ancestors were...uh...Quileute?"

"No, of course not! Bella, why are you asking all this?" she asked in an authoritative tone.

"Well Mom, I got curious, that's all," I said, which was a part of the unbelievable truth.

"Bella..." began Renee.

"Mom, are you sure you don't have any Native American ancestors, or does Charlie have any?" I pressed.

"No honey, we don't. Charlie and I were both from the North Pacific region, but...Charlie may have had some Native ancestors."she began defensively, but later began musing.

My heart skipped a beat. "I recall him telling something about some stories of his ancestors. I suppose they were natives. Well, they were his far off relations..." she explained, thinking hard.

I urged her to recall, but her attempts went in vain, as she could remember only bits and pieces. "Honey, why don't you ask Charlie?" she suggested in the end. "He may remember."

"Oh, okay Mom, I'll do that." I said, resigned.

"So, you didn't answer my earlier question, why did you ask me all that?" she asked, curious.

"Well, Mom, Billy was talking about bloodlines and ancestors the other day, and got me thinking... if I had any Native Americans ancestors. Their history seems fascinating." I replied, truthfully.

"Sorry to disappoint you honey, but I'm pretty sure we don't have Native American ancestors. Ask Charlie, he may enlighten you, and honey, you shouldn't spend so much time listening to Billy's stories, he may bore you, or influence you too much. I'll have to talk to Charlie about it. Billy had never told me about his tribal legends, I'm surprised that he told you."she said, in a censorious voice.

Renee was never a person to take interest in Native American tribes, and their history, so obviously Billy wouldn't have told her either way. She scarcely knew some of their names. "Okay Mom, say hi to Phil for me. Bye," I said, pleasantly.

"Bye baby, I will, I love you."she said and hung up.

Charlie came back soon after. I eagerly waited until he finished dinner. "Hey Dad, Mom called today," I informed. "Oh, that's nice. How is she?" he said, eating the casserole. "She's fine. Um...Dad, I was talking to Billy the other day, and well, he was telling me some Quileute legends, and that got me wondering... do you have any Native American ancestors?" I said, vigilantly. Charlie pondered for a few seconds."No, I don't think so. I'm not a direct descendent."he replied. "I was swiftly disappointed. "But Mom said that you told her some stories about your ancestors once," I pressed. That got him frowning, and thinking hard. "When exactly did I exactly tell her?"he asked. "I can barely remember."

I rolled my eyes. When else would he have told her? When they were still married of course. I couldn't state this hurtful fact, so I remained silent. Charlie continued pondering, but finished dinner. "Bella, I'm not sure if I told her. I may have some ancestors, from the West Pacific, and they were Native Americans I suppose. Some of my relatives live in the South, they may know better."he stated. "Could you find out?" I asked, hopefully. Charlie laughed, scrutinizing my expression. "You sure seem keen on being Native American. Billy's influence I suppose,"he joked. I gave a small laugh. "Alright, I'll find out."he promised, and I brightened up instantly. "I'll have to talk to Billy, to order him to stop telling you all these stories, or you'll end up turning pro- Quileute."he teased. "Mom said the same thing. Well, except that she said the stories would bore me." I stated. "She said she would talk to you about it the next time."

Charlie chuckled. "Then I better get an official order. I can't fight against your mother. Billy _has to_ keep his stories to himself, or face Renee's wrath,"he said, genially. "Too bad, I really like listening to them." I teased back, pretending to look mournful. Charlie laughed, but put on a solicitous expression. "You know, Billy never told me any of his tribe's stories, even though we've friends for years! He's very possessive about his tribe and their history; I'm shocked that he told you of all the people."he stated, much to my fear. Renee had said the same thing,which got me worried now. Both of them were suspicious. How would I explicate it to them? How would I explain about me being an official member of the tribe?

And the fact that my soul mate was a giant werewolf, and I can't stay away from him even if I want to, made things worse. And if I tried, it would kill me. It seemed pathetic, unbelievable and yet astounding. It astonished me that Billy hadn't told Charlie, who was his best friend. "Well, I guess he just got bored and we ran out of conversational topics."I offered, which was a fact. "If you say so."said Charlie shrugging, but he didn't seem convinced enough. So I hastily changed the topic to the party we were throwing this Saturday. My plan worked, and Charlie was preoccupied. He decided to make it a grand event since it was the semi finals of the hockey season.

We decided to have lunch and watch the game, which mostly Dad and Billy would be doing, and if Jake came, he would settle for the nearest bed. Or my lap, chest or shoulder, I thought blushing furiously. I recalled his desire for us to share his bed. That made me blush even more. I assured myself that he would be at patrol and that I wouldn't be distracted with his body. My body was reacting abnormally these days. Not that it always didn't, but recently, my hormones didn't seem to collaborate with the rest of my body. I had my back turned towards Charlie, and luckily, he couldn't see me. Otherwise, my expression would've given away my personal thoughts, which I'm sure Charlie wouldn't like to know.

I went to my room, my heart beat speeding up, as I thought about Jacob. I yearned for him to be beside me right now, as I recalled the feel of his arms on my face, his breath on my skin. Jacob had an everlasting effect on me. An effect I couldn't control right now. I lay on my bed, gazing at the few stars in the sky, hoping to compose my uncultivated hormones.


	13. Chapter 13

_Disclaimer: I do not own the twilight saga. I'm not SM, o obviously I wouldn't._ _Sorry for the delay of this chapter. I got busy with college stuff. Thank you all for you splendid reviews, it's much appreciated. I hope you've all been well. College is a lot different, like you guys said. A bit boring, but its better than school. Things you need to know:_

_I HAVE LOST INTEREST IN TWILIGHT, SO THIS CHAPTER MAY NOT MEET YOUR EXPECTATIONS. _

_This chapter is a figment of my imagination_

* * *

><p>Chapter 13 – Attraction<p>

I lay on the bed, restive. My body yearned for Jacob. For the past two hours, I had thought of nothing but our kiss. Or kisses. Jacob was one hell of a kisser. I longed for his lips on mine again. I wanted to feel those soft, luscious lips and his artistic hands, roaming around my waist. I wondered what Jacob was doing right now. No doubt running patrol in the woods. I spent another hour tossing and turning. The only thing I could think about was, Jacob, his lips, his hands, and _that_ feeling. I smiled as my thoughts drifted to him. Jacob was my beacon of light in this dark world. Only he could be so sensitive, kind, gentle, patient, mature and lovable and yet, he could be mischievous, childish, fun and smart. I was lucky to have him for a soul mate. I was smiling broadly, yet again. That boy really had an effect on me. A really mammoth effect.

I drew the curtains across. I smiled, as I stared at the bright, shimmering stars. It had been two days since I had last kissed Jacob. And these two days were agonizing. Whenever Jacob would kiss me on my cheek, before going to patrol, my heart would go feral, and it fluttered. When he came home for lunch, he would wink at me, and butterflies would dance inside my stomach. Whenever he slept on his bed, my eyes would instantly turn to observe his gorgeous body. Whenever I cooked, my mid would wander off, thinking about Jacob's muscles. When Billy resumed his narration, a huge smile would be plastered on my face, and I was always grinning.

I would smile for no apparent reason, and Charlie was always explaining the rules of hockey during dinner. My life had changed drastically. The house was spotless and all the work was done on time. My holiday home work was also done, and school would re- open soon. But yet, nothing seemed to bother me. The bad weather, lack of Jake's, Kim's nor Emily's company, my never changing schedule, my lack of hobbies. Nothing was surprisingly bothering me. I was missing Kim and Emily. Kim was busy doing holiday homework, which she had put off for days, and she was grounded until she finished it, much to her displeasure. And Emily was busy redecorating her home. The only source of entertainment I had was Billy's never ending tales. Any other person would find my schedule repugnant and lacklustre, but I didn't, and I couldn't comprehend the cause of my celebrative mood.

I was listening to Billy's stories again, and I almost fell off the couch laughing. "Stop Billy!"I gasped between my laughs. Tears formed in my eyes. Billy stared amused. I spent a good five minutes to prevent myself from laughing. "And then Jacob sang that song in English, trying to translate it and he sang it with his hands folded, as if he were in a church. Please oh great wallow of pigs I loathe you..."began Billy, and I instantly burst out laughing. "You stink like a horse's shit, and my worst enemy bathes in your..."he sang, and I hooted with laughter. I laughed so hard that I missed Billy's best jokes. I laughed until my stomach ached. "Oh Billy, Billy please stop."I begged, tears rolling down my cheeks.

I laughed for an hour unable to restrain myself. I held my sides. We shared a merry morning, and I enjoyed Billy's monologue. When Jacob came home for lunch, my eyes immediately registered his naked chest, but I remembered Billy's joke, and snickered. He glanced at me surprised, instead of beaming at me. While I served lunch, I kept sniggering, and Billy kept smirking, and smiling broadly. I looked away from Jacob, unable to manage my laughter, which was emerging through my chest. When I looked away, Billy bent his head unable to compose himself too. Jacob stared at us, mystified and suspicious. When I was in the kitchen, I overheard him interrogate Billy.

"Okay, Dad, what's going on? What's the joke?"he demanded. "Why, nothing son."replied Billy innocently. Jacob snorted. "I'm not blind. Tell me, what's going on? Tell me the joke."he said, dubiously. "There's no joke son."said Billy. I could hear the mirth in his voice. I chuckled to myself, and I winked at Billy, while Jacob eyed me curiously. I pretended not to notice. When it was time for him to retire, I followed, still giggling."Okay Bells, what gives?"he demanded. "Why nothing."I replied, fluttering my eyes. "Right. That's what Dad said. I'm not retarded. So tell me, what's the inside joke. Is there something I should know?"he said, curiously. I cleared my throat. "No. I'm not going to tell you. And besides, it's none of your business Jake."I stated firmly, but I was still smiling. "Well, I'm going to find out soon enough."he vowed. "Well, good luck with that then." I said, sniggering.

He narrowed his eyes at me, and went to sleep. Soon enough, loud snores erupted from his chest. I snickered again. Billy had told me a funny incident which involved Rachael and Jacob. Rachael, and one of the neighbour's children, had put their heads together, and wrote a silly song about horses in Quileute, which they began singing. Jacob was merely four then, and they taught him that song, and asked him to sing it in English, in front of all their friends, and half of the Quileute reservation, much to my amusement. Rachael convinced Jacob that it was a serious song, which he believed, and so the folded hand posture. He wasn't that well versed in English to comprehend what he was singing, so he sang the song until everyone burst into fits of laughter. He began crying, and ran into his mother's arms, and hid his face in her skirt for a whole day.

How three hours passed with my mental enjoyment, was a mystery to me. I was still smirking when Jacob was leaving. His kiss changed my mental state again, but not for very long, since I burst into giggles again, much to his annoyance. "I'm going to find out Bella."he warned. I laughed aloud, and Billy chuckled in the background. "You'll never know son."he called, and Jacob marched away in a huff. "Bye Jacob, hope you run faster than a horse." I called after him, much to his bewilderment. Billy and I chuckled again. He winked at me, and continued the story telling.

Charlie almost fell off the chair when I narrated the story with much enthusiasm. I had to refrain myself from laughing. I went to bed that night laughing hard. Another jolly day went by, as Billy I exchanged amused grins, secret glances, giggles, jokes and cheerful laughter, my to Jacob's curiosity, puzzlement, and annoyance. He tried hard to figure out the inside joke, which he miserably failed to do, of course. Billy and I extremely were careful while dropping hints. When Jacob woke up, I greeted him with a 'good morning horsey'; and he stared at me as if I were crazy. When he came down for breakfast, "So, finally you've risen from the stables."commented Billy, and I choked on my cereal. And Jacob's only reaction was "Eh?". He glanced from Billy to me, and sighed in frustration. Which made me laugh harder.

"Don't eat so quickly son, you'll end up having cholic."teased Billy, when Jacob was gulping down breakfast. I almost dropped the glass of milk I was holding, trying to control my laughter. "Gee Dad, thanks."retorted Jake, sarcastically. He kept a vigilant eye on my every move, and for once, I didn't pay attention his gorgeous body. I was too busy hiding my gaze from him, and stifle my laughter, which was making its way up my chest. He kept giving us extraordinary glances. It would be mine and Billy's little secret. But I liked having a secret without Jacob knowing. Jacob left in an cross mood. "We're not going to tell him Billy."I said, securely. "It'll be our little secret."

Billy chuckled. "As you say Bella. It'll be my little way of revenge. That boy gives me sleepless nights."he said, smiling. I snorted and chortled at this. "But I'm sure he gives you sleepless nights too, but in a different way."he continued, and I immediately stopped laughing, and began blushing. Was it that evident? "Um... well I ... I ..."I mumbled. He laughed merrily, and winked. "That's none of my business, but I think you should tease the boy a bit more."he stated, much to my relief. "We can't let him off that easily.". I couldn't help but agree. For the next few days, Jacob resumed his old schedule, and I got to see little of him, but I was having the time of my life with Billy and Charlie. I narrated this tale to Charlie, who choked on his food. He was immensely looking forward to our party on Saturday. Both he and Billy were excited, because of the game. Surprisingly, I learnt more about hockey, than I had ever learnt in my life, spending time with Billy and Charlie.

I was missing Jake, but I was busy and distracted, much to my relief, but my imprint drive seemed to remind me of him every now and then. Saturday dawned gloomy, yet anticipatory. The whole town seemed animated about the game. I cooked Billy's favourite soup, and Charlie's favourite lasagna. Billy informed that if Jacob was in a walking condition, he would surely show up. But he kept no promises, much to my disappointment. I worked hard to perfect lunch and dinner. Billy showed up for lunch, and sadly, Jacob didn't. "Where's your boy Billy?"asked Charlie. "I thought he'd never miss a chance to eat.". Billy snickered. "He's snoring at home like a Bill yo."he stated. "He was with Sam working on some tribal stuff."

"Well, I never thought he'd miss the game."muttered Charlie, baffled. I served lunch half heartedly, since Jacob was missing. Charlie involved me in the conversation, and I did forget to be upset for a while. I was bored when the topic changed to fishing, but I learnt some fascinating facts. Billy wanted to watch the show about the world largest fish on discovery channel, and much to my enthralment, the fish was definitely worth looking at. I went upstairs to my room, and sighed. My longing for Jacob was eating me alive. I grabbed the blanket on my bed, and pressed it hard. Visions of Jacob's smiling face, his endowed hands and lips taunted my mind. I let out a cry of frustration.

I was turning into a restless wreck. I began gnawing my lip, and looking around for a book to read. I remembered that Kim hadn't returned my books yet. I wondered if she was done reading it yet. I had to ask her number from Jacob and call her or visit her sometime. I really missed her. I began working on my tidying my desk, and arranging my books, and I was surprised at the amount of dust that had accumulated there. I groaned and spent a good two hours cleaning, which worsened my mood. I heard the doorbell ring, and Charlie yelled, "Bella! Could you get that?"

I stomped downstairs, and Charlie and Billy were still glued to the television, much to my exasperation. I threw open the door, and all my frustration washed away in an instant. Standing in the doorway, was none other than my Jacob, with a tired expression, which instantly altered into an jubilant one, with a combination of the imprint look. I couldn't believe that anyone in the world could look at me like that. I was gawking at him, and he returned my look, with a patronized expression."Hi Bells!"he greeted, cheerfully, sauntering into the house. Charlie and Billy were momentarily distracted from the television. Charlie was pleased to see him, "I thought you were never going to show up boy!"he exclaimed happily, and spent a good time questioning him. He never gave Jacob any opportunity to even look at me. I waited impatiently for the conversation to finish, but to my anger, Jake was equally excited about the match, and got into an animated conversation with my father. I went to my room in displeasure, seeing that Charlie wasn't going to let go off Jacob anytime soon. I heard them laughing downstairs. I glowered at the window.

Finally, when Jake showed up, Charlie had to steal him. I stamped hard on the floor board, in frustration. I had begun to need Jacob more than usual, both for my satisfaction and my imprint's satisfaction. I stomped hard on it again, and I heard the floorboards creak. I glared at the floor in infuriation. Did everything have to go wrong today? I began rearranging my books, and I accidently dropped all of them on the floor. I gritted at floor, and began picking the books. One of them had ended up under the bed. I ducked down and picked it up, and I found a small gap between two of the boards. I followed the other end of the board, which led to the end of the bed.

I surprisingly noticed a huge gap between three of them. I was astonished that I hadn't noticed them before. Since they were under my bed, I never bothered to look there. When I pressed on the floor boards, they creaked loudly, and seemed loose. I could almost fit my fingers through the gap. I groped on the boards, and felt something uneven. I mechanically tried to fix the boards in the right position, and lost my patience, since they didn't seem to cooperate. I decided to remove the floor board completely and replace them. I pushed my hard bed aside, which seemed an exigent task, I finally removed the floor boards. They came out with my least effort, and when I removed three of them hastily, a shocking sight met my eyes.

I gasped and panted for breath .The healing hole in my chest gave a horrible ache. I stared frozen on the spot, comprehending the items in my vision. I stared onto the floor as all the hurt, the pain, the agony, the memories, ripped through me once again. I sat staring at the items, which were probably my objects of affection. I was no longer bound to time, or the circulating world around me. I was lost in the world of numbness and shock. Tears formed in my irises, and rapidly rolled down my cheeks. His photos, the ones we had taken together, his presents, his family's gifts were all present, sending ripples of pain in my heart. More tears rolled down like a river, unable to cease. Then, it came, what I was anticipating for. The sobs, the screams, the cries, the mourning. They all came.

I found my voice, and began to sob loudly. Then, I began to wail, weep and scream loudly. The room door flung open and I felt warm arms instantly around me. The imprint comforted me, but suddenly, I felt his anatomy stiffen. His arms loosened around me. Jacob's furious voice was suddenly in my ear, hissing out a stream of profanities. I felt a vague disapproval. His new friends were clearly a bad influence. But I was in a traumatic state to even express it. Jacob composed himself faster than, and carried me downstairs, where I heard Billy's and Charlie's exclamations. Charlie helped Jake carry me to the couch, where I sobbed on Jake's grey shirt. Charlie switched off the television, and Billy rolled further away, refusing to meet my gaze. I hadn't tested the strength of my vocal cords until today. Even the breakdown I had at Emily's was minute compared to this. I clung on to his shirt and wailed like a widow.

Charlie's words went unheard, and Jacob's soothing arms were of no use. I wept stridently, screamed, cried and choked on my tears. It was foolish of me to think that I would ever forget him. My hole had ripped open again, and this time, all my feeble attempts to stay sane, had gone to vain. I wallowed again, for a man, who no longer loved me. Then, I had the urge to throw up. Jake carried me, to the toilet, where I spent a long while vomiting. I noticed that it was dark outside. Charlie wiped my face with a towel, and helped me change, and Jacob soothed me to sleep. When I woke up, I found myself on my bed, with Jacob lying beside me, stroking my head. The moonlight was shimmering into my bedroom."Go back to sleep Bella."he whispered.

Then, horror dawned to me when I realized that I had done it again."Oh Jacob! I'm so sorry!"I gasped. I didn't have the energy to even cry. I seemed dead. "Ssh it's alright honey. I'm not mad."he said, softly. "You should be."I murmured. He chuckled. "Typical Bella."he commented. I gazed him, guiltily. "Why aren't you angry?"I asked. "Should I be?"he countered. I nodded. "Why?"he questioned again. This time, I was at loss of words. "Because...because..."I began. He stroked my hair. "Bella, honey, I could never be mad at you."he stated. "Why?" I asked, still upset. The curtains flew closer to Jacob due to the wind. "Because I just can't. It's something innate. I know that I couldn't be mad at you, even if I tried."he murmured. "Well, you're not trying hard enough." I muttered. He snickered. "Aw honey, please, don't make me laugh too much."he said, smiling.

"How can you be like that?"I demanded. "I want you to tell me that you're disgusted with me and that you're going to leave so that I can beg and grovel on my knees for you to stay."I ordered. He chuckled again. "Now that's a sight I'd like to see."he teased, amused. "Jake!"I hissed. He laughed. "I'll think about your offer."he said, pretending to reconsider. "I want you to call me every bad name you can think of, in every language you know."I commanded. "I'm sorry."he sighed. "I can't do that.". "Why? You didn't seem to have any problem doing that a while ago."I said, harshly, and directly regretted it. I decided to sew up my mouth after this. I was hurting him too much.

"I'm sorry."I apologized. "I hurt you all the time. I don't deserve you. You need someone better. Someone who is really sane and worthy of you.". He snorted. "Don't you dare give me that lecture."he threatened. "I love you, only you, and you know it. And we're soul mates. You're the only one."he proclaimed. I didn't have the strength in me to argue, so I remained silent. "You listen to me honey, I won't stop loving you, even you don't love me. That's not going to change. Never. I get it. I really get it. That bloodsucker really screwed you up. He's to blame not anyone else."he said, emotionally, and I was lost in his chocolate eyes again. "Like I said, I'll kill him the next time I see him."he continued. "They're better off dead, especially him. So forget your lecture, and go to sleep. Because I'm not going anywhere, and I'll never stop loving you."he said, determined. I sighed and turned around to face him better.

I put my arm around his waist and stared into those unwavering eyes. I really didn't deserve him. I should throw myself in the sea. I felt atrocious. Poor Jacob, he was in love a barmy girl. He didn't know what he had gotten himself into. My eye lids dropped down, and I fell asleep again. For the next two days, I lived a life of silence. Charlie wouldn't speak to me, and Jacob didn't visit me either. Billy refused to even look at me, when I was at his home on Monday. I received a surprising visit from Kim. I brightened up instantly, for two reasons, Kim was here, and had brought some books with her. "I'm sorry Bella, I couldn't finish reading all your books. But I finished only Emma."she stated, returning the book. I glanced at her in surprise. "I thought you were reading Pride and Prejudice." I said, my tone full of surprise.

"Well, I was, but I changed my mind."she said, shrugging. "I found Emma interesting.". I couldn't agree with Kim. I found Emma, a very silly book. Why couldn't people mind their own business? Emma was this haughty young woman who could never mind her own business, and went around making couples. Ultimately, she realized the major flaw in her personality, after bringing bitterness into everyone's lives. I frowned at Kim's statement. Emma was a book I purchased only out curiosity, with high expectations, since it was a Jane Austin book. "Is it alright if I keep your books a bit longer?"she questioned, snapping me out of my train of thoughts. "Oh...what...sure, take your time."I said distantly.

"I finally finished my holiday homework."she said, gleefully. I smiled at that. "Finally huh?"I questioned. She nodded. "Mum grounded me all Spring break. I thought it was totally unfair, since it was the best season of the year."she grumbled. I smiled broadly. "I bet your Mum isn't like that."she said. "No," was my instant reply. "My mom's very easy going. She's the fun type. Actually, she has too much of fun."I stated, and launched into tales of my mother's exploits. Kim's eyes gleamed when she heard all of it. She launched into a list of complaints of her mother. Apparently, poor Kim wasn't allowed much out of town, unless it was necessary. She always had to keep her Calculus and Biology grades up, much to her displeasure. But her mother didn't sound that uptight to me. After a long conversation, Kim noticed the time. "Holy Smokes! Is that the time!"she exclaimed and scrambled up from the couch hurriedly. "I've got chores to do Bella. Mum's gonna kill me! Thank you for the books. See you soon Bella. Thanks for the tea, bye."she exclaimed, tripping down the road.

I laughed to myself. "Kim,"I murmured. I went back to the couch, and noticed the book on the table, where she had left it. I glowered at it. Just then, Billy wheeled in."You know Bella, I have only one table. I hope you're not going to break it. The way you're looking at it, it's like you're going to rip it to pieces. I glanced at him in surprise. "No, no, Billy, I have no intention of breaking your table."I assured. "Then why are you looking at it as though you plan to start a fight?"he asked, dubiously. I let of out a small laugh. "I'm not looking at the table Billy, I'm looking at the book."I stated. He took one glance at the book and sighed. "I don't blame you."he muttered. "Pardon?" I said. "Most of the books written by the white men are just the same. They only talk about status, marriage and money."he mocked.

I felt offended. "That's not true Billy, there are books which are really good. Not all of them depict money and status. I just don't like this book."I said, wondering the cause of Billy's altered mood. "Well, I can't say that I'm surprised. All books written in the Elizabethian times are the same. All about money and love. I'm sick and tired of reading about it."he stated coldly. I opened my mouth to argue with him, when I realized, he was right."That's why we have our own school here. In La Push, we're fed up having the white men's point of view forced into our brains. We were much more civilized than they were."he scoffed.

"That's not fair Billy! Charlie's a white man, and he's your best friend!"I argued. "That's not the point."interjected Billy. "You seem to be implying that us white skins have destroyed your culture."I said, hotly. "That's what they've exactly done. We were perfectly happy with our land, heritage, culture and customs. Then, they had to show up and ruin everything!"he countered. "It's because of the invasion of the British that America is so civilized and modern today!" I exclaimed. He snorted. "If the British hadn't come, America would've never freed itself, and reach where it has today!"I justified. "It's one of the richest nations in the world."

"So is money everything?"he asked, sounding disgusted. "Of course not! We're the technologically forward, we have a luxurious lifestyle, and we are one of the super powers."I clarified. "Luxurious life style?"he demanded. "Bella, look around you. Look at every house in La Push around you. Everyone here is poor. The white men stole all our wealth, and left us nothing. They even took our lands. Something which was very sacred to us."

I realized that what he was saying, was factual. I scrutinized Billy's little house. He was right. He didn't have much. Emily and Kim didn't either. "That's why the council decided that we would never let anyone of this generation live in poverty. That's why we have college scholarship and funds."he stated wheeling closer. "We hope to give them a better life than ours.". I stared at Billy, speechless. "Money, status and looks aren't everything. Why do people make such a big deal of it?"he continued. "I raised three children on my own, and today money matters to none of them. Only hard work and honesty does."

"You should think about it Bella. I hope you follow their example. Learn from your mistakes. Let's hope that it doesn't happen again. We wouldn't you to have another break down do we?"he muttered. I felt as though I had been punched in the gut. It was by far the worst comment Billy had ever made. With that, he went out of the hall. That left a subterranean notion on me yet again. I stayed miserable the whole day. I didn't bother to acknowledge Jake or Billy, much to Jake's curiosity. He didn't even kiss me while going back to patrol. He sensed that something was wrong, but didn't pester me about it.

The rest of day passed in a blur. The next day, Billy glared at me, as I entered. I was taken aback. He had never given me such a venomous look. Jake stormed out of the house, cussing under his breath. He didn't bother to acknowledge me. "Well, I hope you're happy!"exclaimed Billy, glaring at me. "What are you talking about?"I asked, slightly frightened. "You've broken enough relationships as it is, now you've broken a father son relationship too?"he thundered. Now, I was really frightened. "You're eccentric. You break relationships."he continued. "I excused you every time for Charlie's sake, but I was blinded for my devotion for him and you, and I forgot my role as a father. I can't even ask you to stay away from my son, since it would kill him. So all I can say is, please, just don't hurt him, or you'll have to face me."

I stared in disbelief. "My son fought with me today."he stated, noticing my blank look. "He accused me of annihilating his relationship with you.". That left me perplexed and astounded. "He apparently was trying to mend your relationship, when you had to go and weep like a widow! For God's sake Bella! Get over him! He's never coming back! Why are you still waiting? He's long gone! You have to move on with Jake! If I had my way, I would've chosen any other girl as his soul mate! Why do you keep hurting him?"

If yesterday's words stung, then what he was currently stating, tore my heart to pieces. "Instead of being grateful to Sam and the others for saving your life, you're still pinning over someone who is not even human!"he bellowed. My knees began to shake violently. "Pull yourself together Bella! You're not a two year old girl to cry over everything. Get over him. Why do you obsess about him so much? Is the money? His looks? Just so you know, he looks like that only because he's a vampire!"he explicated, to an unasked question. "Stop hurting my son and everyone else, before it's too late. Let me warn you, keep Jacob happy, or you'll end up in a horrible situation in the future. Jacob is your future. You don't have a choice. I wish he did, but he doesn't. For the first time Bella, I wish that he had never imprinted on you."

He turned around and wheeled himself into his room. My knees gave away, and I landed on the floor. Silent tears flew down my cheeks, and dropped on the wooden floor. When I stopped crying, I contemplated about what Billy said. I could feel anger in Jacob's mind. I went to the backyard of the house and gazed at the green trees. Was I really waiting for a dead man? True, Edward was not human, but he wasn't dead either. He wasn't heartless as Jacob and Billy imaged. But he had been too mature in handling me. He never did all the things Jacob and said and did for me. But that was probably because he was diverse. Both Jacob and Edward are two mythical creatures, with very distinct identities. They were two different identities. A vampire and a werewolf. Both seemed too good to be true. I was in love with a vampire, and a werewolf was in love with me.

It just didn't add up. Billy was right. I had to pull myself together. I had just grown to get better. I was more jovial these days. Everything about Edward seemed to upset me, and everything about Jacob seemed to enthral me. I recalled how euphoric I had been these past few days. That person seemed to be so different from this person. Just a few days ago, Billy was laughing and entertaining me. It seemed so hard to believe that the same Billy had said all those hurtful things to me. Time seemed to have changed. I sat motionless in the backyard, until sunset. I cooked dinner, and went home. The holidays were soon ending, and I would be back to school again. Then I would see lesser and lesser of Jacob.

My heart sank as I realized this. It was hard to imagine a day without Jacob now. How would I spend seven hours in school, and not see Jake for the rest of the day? I needed him to be there, and keep me calm. That made me even more miserable than usual. A lot miserable. An angry Jacob, and busy Jacob was better than no Jacob, that's for sure. I hadn't spoken to Billy for another few days. I sat alone in a corner, contemplating all his words. He would barely talk to me. The house was quiet as a cemetery. It was hard to believe that this house was filed with laughter a few days ago. I caught a glimpse of my reflection in the mirror. I didn't like what I saw. It appalled me.

I saw a pale, dead, depressed, exhausted girl looking into the mirror. My dressing had never been anything exquisite, but I realized that I had dressed hideously. I looked like a zombie again. The Bella whose face glowed in the mirror a few days ago was gone. Who was she? Where was she?

Then, it dawned to me. All the past evens replayed in my mind. I gasped. So this was it. That was the reason why. The girl who was laughing, smiling and glowing was not me. That was a different Bella. Jacob's Bella. And the Bella who was petrified at her discovery was Edward's Bella. The Bella who Edward left, because she wasn't good enough for him. The Bella who he never loved. The Bella who fell madly in love with Edward. The shattered Bella. I touched my cheek, and stared at my reflection in the mirror. I didn't want to be her. I didn't want to put Charlie through that again. Or anyone else. Even after realizing that Edward didn't love me anymore, that he was never going to come back, that he never loved me, why was still over reacting?

Even after swearing that I would give my full potent to this relationship, why had I gone back on my word? Why had I upset him again? Another vision of Jacob's smiling face entered my mind. I had given my word, and was never going back on it. I was called stubborn for a reason. I had to fight this. I recalled all those kisses, embraces and sweet words we exchanged. Why didn't I think all about before I broke down again? Just a few days ago, I wanted Jacob to be with me. I wanted to kiss him. What happened to all those feelings? Where were they now? Whenever Edward's memory or name was mentioned, all those amazing memoirs vanished.

_Because he left a cavernous impression on you... _CAME THE ANSWER.

My hand dropped to my side, and I stared at that mirror, shocked. I had made a big mess which I had to fix. What had I done? What was doing? I had kept our relationship on jeopardy for the sake of a fickle minded Romeo, who was probably never my Romeo in the first place. He was not coming back, so why was I wasting all my energy clinging on to a person who didn't exist anymore? Wasn't he the one who said so? Then why was I diffident? I had Jacob. He was my soul mate. I had him forever, so was couldn't I make him happy?

All that I felt for him in the past few days was real. It wasn't a delusion. I had yearned for Jacob. So what did it mean?

I pondered over the matter the whole evening and night, and I finally concluded that I had to do something. I woke the next morning, and prepared breakfast cheerfully, much to Charlie's satisfaction. I stayed back and cooked a lot. I placed it all carefully in a basket and drove to LaPush. The weather was excellent. "Hi Billy," I greeted optimistically, as he opened the door. He stared at me in surprise, but nodded gruffly, moving out of the way. I went into the kitchen and placed the basket there, and fished out a note, which I left on the table. I began humming, and unpacking some of the food I bought, which I placed in the refrigerator.

At around three, I left the Black's residence. "Where are you going?"questioned Billy. "Outside," I replied, in the same cheerful tone I had used in the morning. "Bella, you know better than to go out,"he stated. I turned around and winked at him. "I've got business to attend to." I elucidated. Apparently, Billy understood, and nodded. I walked up to the first beach, with the basket in my hand. I went up to our log and sat on it, placing the basket on the ground. I felt excitement and curiosity all over me. He was here.

"Hi Jake, you're right on time."I greeted, turning to look at him, gazing down at me. My eyes flickered to his body, again, but I refrained myself. He noticed this."Sit down," I said, and he sat next to me, maintaining the distance, which was evident. "Alright Bells, why did you call me here?"he asked, probing. I smiled. "Well, first of all thanks for coming Jake. I have something to say to you."I replied. "You're not going to break up with me are you? And offer this basket as a reconciliation?"he questioned, jokingly. I laughed, unloading the basket and handing him the sandwiches which I had made.

"Really Jake, with you, it's always about the food."I said, pretending to complain. But, actually, I was amused. He had finished the six sandwiches in an instant. "You depict that I don't feed you enough." I commented, snickering. "Well, when it comes to food, for your information, more is less in my case."he replied. "But, your food's delicious. I could smell them from a mile away.". He gulped down chocolate bars too. "So, why did you call me here"he questioned, feasting on the ham sandwiches.

"Didn't you read the note?' I questioned, innocently. "Of course I did, why else would I be here?"he mocked. He fished out the letter from his pocket, and removed it from the envelope, and handed it to me. I glanced at the note written in my dirty scrawl.

Dear Jacob,

Please meet me at the first beach at three 'o' clock. We need to talk. It's important.

Love,

Bella

"How is that supposed to tell me anything?"he demanded. "Well, it says a lot of things," I fortified. "Like?"he drawled. "Like it clearly states that I want to meet you, and that we have to talk."I illuminated. "Okay, what did you wanna talk about?"he asked, nervous. Sam was right, I had a bad affect on Jacob. "I missed you Jake,"I confessed. Hearing that, he was instantly relieved, and felt pleased. "I missed you too honey."he stated, moving closer. I smiled, observing his gesture. "Also, I have to thank you." I admitted, turning to look his flawless face.

"Thank you, Jacob. Thank you for everything you've done. I can't thank you enough. You've been a great friend.. I really wish that I didn't have to put you through all this."I said, wretchedly. "I don't deserve you. You're implausible. You're a great friend, a great best friend, a great guy, and most of all a great son."I continued, proudly.

His demeanour instantly varied."Oh, I get it, this is about Billy, isn't it? That old man can't keep his loud mouth shut can he?"he asked, bad temperedly. "Jake," I said, placing my hand on his shoulder. "You can't blame Billy for anything. Blame me. I shouldn't have overreacted." I said, sadly. "Like I told you the other day, it's the bloodsuckers fault, not yours. How many times do I have to keep repeating myself Bella? _IT'S NOT YOUR FAULT!"_he quarreled. "How long will you use that excuse?"I demanded. "Suppose another day I recall some memory of him and breakdown just when we're about to get married, would give me the same excuse? Would you still blame Edward?"

I felt his shock. "It's not right Jacob. "Why aren't you angry with me?" I stipulated. "Why don't you hate me? Or do you think you haven't you seen the whole drama yet?". He stared at me, frozen. "Why do you keep saying that you can never be mad at me Jake? It's not hard considering all the things I've done to you! WHY DON'T YOU?"I asked, angered by his devotion. "I'm not worth it Jacob, I'm not. You've always been much too kind. I wish you had scolded or threatened to leave me."

His silence began to aggravate me. "Well? Why aren't you saying anything?"I asked, furious. "What do you want me to say? Bells honey, I can never be mad at you, because you calm me down. You seem to be under a misapprehension." he said, in a clam tone. He got up, and walked closer to the sea. I stared after him. "Bella, you calm me down, _always_. Never had I once lost my temper while having you around. Every time I got mad, I would just think of you and all my anger would dissolve. Those past few days Bella, when you were always happy, they have been the best days of my life. I was ecstatic to see you so happy. I could feel you through our imprint. Billy told me how much you were enjoying yourself, and that made me even happier. It seemed like everything was perfect. But that filthy bloodsucker had to ruin everything. And besides, if you ever breakdown in our wedding, it'll only be because you excited, not because of him. I'd make sure that by the time we get married, you would've forgotten all about that filthy bloodsucker. Why did he have to leave your stuff there? Couldn't he just take everything and disappear? Just like his existence? Bah! I'll kill him for doing this to you!"he explicated, and I stared astounded.

"You don't know how it was for me when I first imprinted on you. When you showed up at home, and I sat in the car, I had force myself to look the other way, since it took a tremendous effort since my whole being was telling me to look at you, love and get lost into those lovely eyes. Even while I was saying all those mean things to you I was trying so hard not to lose my self control and look at you. Earlier, it was hard for me to even look away from you, but you made things better. You made sure that I was back to my old self again. I was happy again. So happy that Paul wished that I was emotional again, so that he wouldn't have to bear with my elation."he continued, and I listened spell bound.

"Who would've thought that his wish would come true?"he said, letting out a hard laugh. I felt like cruel sculptor, who destroyed a magnificent piece of art, with least effort. The feeling of culpableness washed over me again. Something which I had felt on this very spot, a few weeks ago. History seemed to be repeating itself. "So, you see Bella, it's not your fault. It's his fault, and well my fault too."he said, acquiescent. "Your fault?" I asked, bewildered. "Yeah, if I loved you enough, then you probably wouldn't have reacted that way. If I spent more time with you, then you would've..."

"JAKE!" I interjected, aghast. I marched up to him, and stood facing him. "THIS ISN'T YOUR FAULT! THIS MY FAULT! ALL OF IT IS MINE!"I proclaimed. "HOW COULD YOU EVEN THINK THAT? NO ONE HAS EVER LOVED ME AS MUCH AS YOU HAVE!". _Except Edward Cullen, _came a silent voice in my head. I shoved it away, not bothering to think about it right now. Things would be alright, I reassured myself. "Jacob, you're one of the best things that's happened to me after all that!" I stated, defiantly. "For four months I was a zombie Jake, and I thought that it was all over. Then, you came along, and everything enhanced. I was happy Jake, something which seemed impossible for me."

He stared in amazement, at my outburst. "If life could change for the better for me, it was only because you. You, Emily, Kim, Billy and Charlie, helped me come out of it. So don't you dare think that it's your fault."I said, being authentic, much to his wonder. "And no. I CAN NEVER IMAGINE MY LIFE WITHOUT YOU."I stated. I felt Jacob's thrill, gratification and bliss. It was true. I couldn't last a day without him, imprint or no imprint. "And not just because of the imprint. It was like that even before we imprinted. Remember those weeks you hadn't spoken to me? It was like that, even then."

I saw Jake blush, and beam in unison. "And even after I promised you that I would try to forget about him, I didn't."I continued, in a disapproving tone. "Instead of being mad, you forgave me effortlessly. I deserve your hatred, punishment and anger. So Jacob, now you know, how I feel about you. I want in you in my life, regardless of whether you can forgive me or not. Or whether everyone wants me out of your life. I need you Jake. I always will."I proclaimed all this in an unchangeable tone, and I'm sure that he felt all my emotions. They were left out there for him to feel. Just for _HIM_ to feel. _ONLY FOR HIM TO FEEL. MY JACOB. _

His face broke into an enchanted smile. "Aw Bells, come here." He said, and drew me into his arms. I felt his warm embrace, something which I needed for a long time. I hugged back, equally tightly, unable to let go. Our emotions blended together, and I felt completely at ease. When we broke apart, he asked me a outlandish question. "So, tell me what's the real reason you called me here? I know that this 'talk' wasn't the only reason."

I stared, my mouth agape. "How did you know?"I asked, cursing myself for possessing poor confiding skills. He laughed. "Why else would you bring food?"he asked, chuckling. "Oh," I said, mentally kicking myself. Of course, Jacob could read me like a book, how could I forget? I sulked at this. "So, honey, you gonna tell me or what?"he questioned, eyeing my reaction in amusement. I instantly brightened up. "We're going on a date!" I piped. He laughed in delight, and mystification. "A lunch date." I amended. His eyes brightened up. "Come on Jake, since our official date has started, let's eat." I said, merrily, dragging him near the log. We sat on the blanket which I had packed, and we ate.

Laughing, chatting, cracking jokes and enjoying the lovely weather. The sun was shining, and cloud cover was perfect. It wasn't too sunny or cloudy. "The weather's wonderful. It was like it was just made for us." I commented. Jacob obviously agreed. "I'm surprised that Sam even let you come."I said, realizing. "Yup. He wasn't too pleased about it. But he's the most supportive, next to Quil and Embry; he's probably my only comrade."said Jake, pondering. "He knew how hard it was for me these past few days, so he...well, he let me go."

"I really don't deserve you."I said, in a low voice. "That's where you're wrong again. You're fantastic, sweet, friendly, an awesome cook, and best assistant I've ever had. You keep demeaning yourself, Bells. You never look at yourself the way others look at you. You have so much more in you."he justified, and I listened awe struck. "You're selfless, wonderful, kind and most of all, you place others before you.". "You're all those things Jake, not me."I argued. "Well, I'm flattered that you think that way honey, but I place only you before my life, not others."he countered. "No, you don't."I retorted, defensively.

He laughed at the irate look I was giving him. "Alright, aright, we don't have to fight about it.". I still wasn't convinced. I kept pondering over it, when I realized that he was giving me the imprint look. "Jake, what did you do to all my things?" I asked, suddenly. His anatomy immediately stiffened, and he looked extremely uncomfortable. "Well, I was really mad, and Charlie asked me to get rid of it, and I burnt all of it."he replied, much to my dismay. I sat in shock, unable to react. I was hurt, angry, upset, yet relieved.

Hurt, because Jacob had done such a preposterous thing, knowing what value those items had in my life. Angry, that he actually did it. Upset, because he was I lost my most prized possessions. Relieved, because I wasn't sure of how I would react when I saw them again. I debated with myself, with no interruption from Jake. "Well, I guess you did it for the best." I said, with exertion, swallowing my tears. "You not mad at me are you?"he asked, cautiously. I shook my head. "No, Jake, its fine. I'll get over it."I replied, dazed. I took my time to compose myself. Jacob waited patiently, like he had been doing for all this months, that pricked me. "I shouldn't have reacted like that, I'm sorry" I apologized, sighing. "Especially after..." I stopped abruptly, blush creeping up my cheeks."Especially after what?"pressed Jacob. I gazed at the sand, unable to meet his gaze, out of shyness. "Especially after our kiss." I mumbled. Suddenly, the ambience of the vicinity, transformed. Jacob was no longer sulking, but felt overjoyed and excited, which made it an exigent task for me to steady myself.

"So you liked our kiss? Or should I say kisses?"he asked, anticipating, in a husky voice. I nodded, my face scarlet. My breath went up a notch, and Jacob leaned into me, and wound his endowed arms around my waist, and moved closer, my arms entwined around his neck, and before I could react, his lips were on mine, and I felt electric shocks all over body. I began kissing back pulling him closer. His lips were moist and beautiful as always. I had missed our kisses. Jacob was a very talented kisser. All those words about not kissing anyone other than me, was a blatant lie.

No one could kiss like this without experience. I moaned in pleasure, and his hands moved in ways they hadn't before. My hands were in his hair, they were the same, silky and smooth. I felt myself lowering, but all I could concentrate on were his lips and hands. His hands moved up and down, and I moaned in pleasure again and again. I began running my hands up and down his nape. I kissed back passionately, but it was nothing compared to Jacob's enthusiasm. His hormones were wild, and I felt his frustration and ecstasy. His mouth asked permission to enter my mouth, and I parted my lips.

His lips dived in, exploring my mouth. My fingers tightened in his hair, but I was pulling him closer now. He was everywhere. The piercing sunlight trough the thick clouds, matched the heat. The heat was everywhere. I couldn't see or hear or feel anything that wasn't Jacob. Our tongues danced together, in perfect harmony. My knees went weak, and I didn't want this to end. I scraped my nails, on his back. I pressed closer to him, and drew his face closer to mine. . His burning hand found the skin at the small of my back, and he yanked me closer, ending the distance. Then, as I felt his hot hands on my lower back, and I gasped in pleasure, rather than in shock.

I felt wet all over; I began rubbing my hands on his back, moaning in pleasure. He yanked me closer, and kept leaning closer to me. I had never felt so ecstatic in my life. Neither of us were willing to let go. I was in heaven, with my personal sun, my Jacob. If this wasn't rhapsody, than what was? I couldn't figure out whether his hands were more endowed or his lips. When were broke apart, I was breathless. I was panting hard, as though I had run a marathon. I was blushing madly, but Jacob didn't seem to be done just yet. His hands were still on my waist, and he gradually pulled me closer. His mouth followed the line of my jaw, and then explored the length of my neck.

He explored my face, and he stroked the hem of my shirt, and he slowly lowered me on the blanket, and began kissing my neck, and I gently stroked his back. Things were moving too fast, but it felt right. All of this felt right. Like it was meant to be...


	14. Chapter 14

_Disclaimer – I do not own the twilight saga._

_Hey guys, it's been such a long time. How are you guys? How many of you watched breaking dawn part 1? I hope you're not mad at me for the delay of this chapter. Trust me, it's not my fault. College is killing me. My college starts at 8 in the morning and ends at 5, so you can imagine my hectic schedule. I want to apologize for not updating for the past few months. I should've at least written an author's note, but I never got the time. You guys have been awesome, and I hope that you'll forgive me. As an apology, I've added certain elements in this chapter, based on public demand. I hope you accept my apology. I promise to update soon, that is, if you want me to continue this story. It's your reviews that motivate me. Thank you so much for your leverage until now. Hope you like this chapter. I apologize, if it doesn't meet your expectation. __**AND OFFICIALLY, I HATE COLLEGE! COLLEGE SUCKS MAN! **_

Chapter 14 – Fervour

Things hadn't been going well since the past few days. Jacob hadn't shown up at all. I was packed off to the Quileute library, on Billy's insistence, where I spent time reading Quileute legends. Neither Billy, nor Jake would tell me the reason for banishing me from their home. I took lunch with me, and ate in silence. The Quileute library was a hall stacked with books in both Quileute and English, all about the Quileute legends, their history, and their stories. Letting my curiosity get the better of me, I would sit with books all day. Kim had informed me that the library had occasional visitors, but since the past few days, the library, and the surrounding areas were jam packed. Something didn't add up. Most people eyed me suspiciously, and some even acknowledged me as Chief Swan's daughter.

All my worries would wash away, when I began reading these Quileute legends. I browsed over all the sections of books, and began reading them one by one. The holidays were ending in just three or four days, and I needed to see Jacob before that. I received a phone call from Billy, asking me to come home the next day. I went there, slightly annoyed with him, and as soon as I glanced at his repugnant face, I knew that something was wrong. I handed him lunch and dinner. "Bella, Jake wants you meet him at Sam's place."he stated, and I walked out of the house in a daze. I was greeted by a nervous Emily. I noticed the whole pack, except Jacob and Paul, who were missing. Even Kim wasn't around. They greeted me in silence, with grave expressions on their faces. They looked ghastly and injured. "What happened?" I asked, gasping.

"Sit down Bella, wait until Jake and Paul come,"ordered Sam. HE LOOKED TERRIFYING. Emily was in the verge of the tears. I glanced at all their worn out faces, and noticed scars and marks over each of their faces. When Jake and Paul showed up, I couldn't help but stare. They looked a lot like the others, but Jared was the worst. Jake sat next to me. "The red headed vampire came to attack again."stated Sam, and I gasped loudly in shock. "What happened?"I questioned. "She got away again."stated Paul sourly. "But how?" I asked, still horrified. "We had ganged up on her. Jared, Embry, me and Jake had held her upper body down. Paul and Quil held her lower body. That vampire put up a huge fight, and we almost had her. She scratched Jake's leg, and pierced Jared's and Embry's eyes. She escaped instantly, we followed her. Paul, me and Quil did. She did the same to all of us. She attacked our eyes, and escaped. We were extremely careful. We almost had her Bella. I'm sorry."narrated Sam, remorsefully.

I stared frozen in shock. Victoria had come back, and she was still free. I almost fell on the floor. "She's coming for me."I whispered. "She'll kill me." I began to shake violently; both Emily and Jake comforted me. "Sam, she'll kill me," I said, as I felt Jake's arms around me, and Emily was rubbing my shoulder. "We won't let that happen."said Sam, firmly. "What if she does it again?" I asked, in a weak voice. "Look at you all. She may attack your eyes knowing that she can escape again. She found your weakness.". "She hasn't come that close to us, we had pinned her on the ground, that's why she had a chance. And besides, when she attacked me, I had her arm in my mouth, and Quil and Paul had her legs, but she kicked Quil in the eye."explained, horrifying me further. "SAM!"I gasped. "What if something happened to you?"I demanded. "Think of Emily!"

Sam remained quiet. "Your safety is our first priority."he stated, much to my amazement. "How can you still say that after what happened?"I demanded, tears flowing down my cheeks. "What do we do now?"asked Quil, abruptly. "That's what we're here to discuss today."said Sam, gravely, thankful for the intervention. After I had mollified myself, Sam began to talk. "We'll have back up soon. Seth will be phasing soon. It's just about time now. Another few days. Then, we'll have help. Collin and Brady may not phase if we finish her off. So let's hope for the best." he said. Somehow, I didn't think that the best could happen soon enough. "Now, patrol schedules. Quil, Paul, me in the morning ; Embry, Jared and Jake in the night."he commanded. For once, I didn't hear groans and complaints. Everyone looked worried. This was a bigger issue than I had expected. Jared went home with Quil, while Embry slept on the sofa. Paul walked home quietly. Jake led me to the beach. "We almost had her Bella. If she hadn't poked Jared in the eye, we would've finished off by now."he said, sitting on the log. "It was horrible Bells. His eyes hurt so much. Jared and Embry were the worst. Sam had it bad too. My leg was damaged, but I'm healing. I felt her fingernails inside my flesh."he said, shuddering.

Tremors rocked through my body, to think Victoria had gotten that close to Jacob. My anatomy went rigid with fear. How was I going to survive if something happened to Jacob, or anyone else in the pack? I couldn't handle it if such a disaster occured. Tears flowed down my cheeks. "Bells, honey, you can't get upset about it. It's our job to protect the land."stated Jacob, even before I could voice my feelings. He put his arm around me. "Jake, Paul, Sam and Quil, they're..."I began, choking. "We werewolves heal faster than you think. They'll be fine."he continued, cuddling me. He continued murmuring soothing words into my ears. When would all this end? What if something happened to Jacob? My heart stopped beating instantly, when I realized this. He glanced down at me, while I glanced up at him, with widened eyes. "What if something happens to you? Jacob, I'll die."I said, tears streaming down again. I grabbed his hair. "Jacob no, no please Jacob. You can't do this anymore. Please."I begged. "Honey, I'll be fine. Trust me. Have a little faith in the pack."he said, brushing his hand over my head. "No. Jake you just got lucky. This could happen anytime soon. I won't be able to handle it if I lose you."I choked, tightening the grasping on his hair, reluctant to let go. "Honey, calm down, you worry too much. All of us will be fine."he continued. The thought of losing Jacob was unimaginable to me. Without realizing what I was doing, I pressed my lips on Jacob's, and I could imagine his surprise. It took him a few seconds to kiss back, and this kiss was sweet. Very sweet. This kiss was long, but very different from our other kisses. I felt sorry when it ended. I pressed my face against his, and we continued kissing for awhile.

"We should go back."he said, and I nodded, getting up. The walk to his home was silent. Billy was asleep when we reached home. I began to cook, while Jacob slept. I began cleaning the whole house, starting with the kitchen. There was a lot to be done. By the time I was half way through, Jake woke up, and I had to feed him. The food on his plate disappeared in a second. He still looked sleep deprived. He ran off to bed again, without saying a word. I went home just as Jake got ready for patrol. Things became very different after that. He and I would barely conversed. I sent Billy over to Sue's to clean his room. It took me forever to clean the house, and Jake's room was a mess. Billy's room was easier to clean, but I spent two days on Jake's room, and I'm sure that he barely noticed any change.

By the end of the holidays, Billy and Jake couldn't recognize their house. "Gosh Bells, the house looks amazing."said Jake, looking awed. "Really Bella, you've out done yourself."said Billy, mirroring his son's expression. He said something in Quileute to Jake, who grinned broadly, and blushed. I looked at them curiously. "Thanks Billy, Jake."I thanked, and I made my way home. I was a bit cranky the next day. "What wrong Bells?"asked Jake, when we in the beach. "School starts in three days, and I don't want to go."I complained. "Why? It must a good change since your holidays were so boring."he said, furrowing his eyebrows. "No Jake, it's just... forget it."I said, frustrated. My mood remained static for the next three days. Monday morning, I was a little excited, after these two months, I could relax a little from all the school work. I was happy to see my friends, but I felt upset, I didn't comprehend why. I cooked breakfast, and Charlie grinned at me at the table. "Billy called me yesterday; he says that my daughter is a miracle worker. Would you like to enlighten me?"he said, jovially. I chuckled. "Oh it's really nothing Dad; I just cleaned the Black's house. I guess they haven't had a woman clean their place for free in a long while, so they must be overjoyed."I joked. Charlie laughed, "You sure got that right."he agreed. "Last few months of school Bells. Enjoy yourself."he said, as I drove away.

I parked in the school driveway, and walked into class. Angela and Ben greeted me, and we chatted for a while. The day went by very slowly, and I was quite bored. I went back home, bored, and began cooking. Somehow, time didn't pass. I began cleaning my house too. Within a week, my house looked spotless. Charlie was amazed. "Now I know what Billy meant when he said that he was living in heaven."he mumbled walking away, while I laughed. Charlie and I had a pleasant conversation. I accidently flicked some marshmallows at Charlie, and before I could apologize, he threw one at me, and it ended up becoming a game. I went to school the next day, happier. Things changed slowly. Two weeks passed with me studying and working. I joked around with Mike at work, which probably surprised him, Ben and Angela. I hadn't seen Jake in a fortnight, but we had pleasant conversations on the phone, and he was surprised at my dynamism. "Bella, would you like to come over for a sleepover?"invited Angela. I asked Charlie's permission, who instantly agreed. And I actually had fun. We gave each other pedicures and manicures. We watched a funny movie, and went to bed pretty early.

It was like nothing happened this few months. I was living a normal life. But how long would this last? Charlie was too eager to let me stay with Angela, and Angela avoided many topics. But I was content. This was a different kind of content. A kind of contentment I hadn't felt earlier. Victoria hadn't shown up yet. It was only a matter of time until she did, and all this satisfaction would shatter away. So, I might as well enjoy this peace while it lasts. I progressively began to feel at harmony with myself and everyone else too. On Monday, Jake paid me a surprise visit. I was overjoyed to see him, standing in the doorway, when I was getting ready to go to school. He hugged me, and he had brought his bike, and I was thrilled. He laughed, noticing my excitement. "Geez Bells, you look happier to see my bike than me."he teased. I was smiling broadly, and I ignored his comment."I haven't seen your bike in days."I ejaculated. "Yeah, I thought it was lying there in the garage, so I thought I'd go for a ride."he replied, smiling. He dropped me to school, and I thoroughly enjoyed the ride. The feeling of the wind in my hair, the gust of air brushing against me, my arms around Jake's strong abs, the lovely scenery, was definitely a treat. "Pick me up after school?"I asked, and he nodded. I went to school, in an excellent mood, even the beautiful weather added to my happy state.

"Hey Bella, you look happy."said Angela, smiling at me. I nodded. I chattered with Angela, and we decided to have another slumber party. "Was that Jake I saw outside?"asked Angela. I nodded. "He's really tall. I thought he was a sophomore."she said, perplexed. "Growth sprout I assume. All the Quileute boys are like that."I stated. I desperately waited for school to end, and when it finally did, I saw Jake leaning against his bike, with a huge grin on his face. I rushed up him, and wound my arms around his neck. "Well, you sure missed me."he joked. I snickered. "Hey, can we go for a ride?"I pleaded. "Sure, where do you want to go?"he asked, amused at my child like enthusiasm. "Anywhere."I said, while he shook his head in mirth. We went for a ride around Forks, and I was ecstatic. I couldn't stop smiling. We returned two hours later. I invited Jake for tea, and we joked around. "Billy's gone bonkers over the house. He boasted to the whole reservation about how clean his room was." narrated Jake chortling. "Really?"I asked guffawing. "Yup, and the best part was when he began telling everyone he was to have a dau-" he stopped abruptly. "Had a what?"I asked, setting the table. He remained quiet. "Well, a girl around the house."he said, smiling. "Oh. Yeah, I was telling Charlie the same thing when he asked me about it. So did Billy really show off?"I said, giggling. "You bet. Like an old man, showing off his grandkids. It was hilarious. He gave Leah a headache, and poor Sue threatened to chase him with her sauce pan if he didn't shut up."said Jake, laughing.

Then, a thought struck me."Has Seth changed yet?"I asked, digressing. "No. Not yet, I'm sure he will pretty soon. The kid's, changing a lot."he replied, sighing. "He's only fifteen. I don't know how Sue's going to handle this.". Poor Sue. The death of her husband wasn't enough of a tragedy for her, and now her son was turning into a werewolf. How would she handle it? "Colin and Brady will change in three months, and their just thirteen. Much younger than Seth. Sam just doesn't know how to handle it. I mean, they're just kids."he continued in a exasperated tone. "Jake, you aren't that much older than them. But you're much more mature than any 16 year old."I stated. "Give them a chance.". "You don't understand Bells. I can't tell them don't play football, come and patrol can I?"he asked, vehemently. "I'm not asking you to say that. Just go easy on them. After all, you're Chief Jacob, and the king of horses."I teased. "Alright what is with you and Billy going on about horses?"he demanded. "I'm sick and tired of it. Son, stop eating like a horse, and this isn't a stable. Son, clean up after yourself, you're not a horse. Seriously what is going on?"he demanded, as I attempted to control my laughter. "I don't know."I said, innocently.

"Oh come on Bells, how dumb do you think I am?"he stipulated. "Dumber than a horse."I retorted. "Aha! I knew it. Are you going to tell me or not?"he demanded, standing up. "No."I answered, smirking. "No?"he asked, raising his eyebrows. "No."I muttered, snickering. The next moment, Jake was standing behind me. "Maybe, this will make you speak,"he said, with an iniquity grin on his face. He instantly began tickling me, and that did it. I laughed loudly. "Ja-ke, Jake, stop!" I begged giggling. "Not until you tell me."he stated, clearly enjoying himself. I couldn't stop laughing to tell him, even if I wanted to. "Are you going to tell me or not?"he demanded, but I was adamant. So Jake finally gave up.

After our fun filled laughter, we had some tea, and I smiled at him in blissful contentment. Something's never change, and that would my relationship with Jacob. How I grown so attached to him these few months was a mystery, and I know that I would never want the intimacy in our relationship to change. As we relaxed on the sofa, watching TV, I realized how peaceful I felt. I pulled the pink blanket over us, and continued watching television. This was how my whole week went by.

Jacob would come by to drop me and pick me up from school every day; we would go around Forks on his bike. Today, we stopped by the deserted beach. We sat on the ground, watching the waves. "It's so serene,"I whispered. "I know."he said, gazing into the shore. I moved closer to Jacob, since I wasn't comfortable. And after a while, he put his arm around me. I closed my eyes and leaned on his shoulder, enjoying the tranquility and music of the waves. I was sorry that we had to go back. I completed my homework later that evening. It was a Friday night, and almost everyone was either out of town or watching TV. I received a call from Jake; he said that he would stop by at my house. Through the window. I rolled my eyes, when he mentioned that. Really, sometimes, that boy was incorrigible.

Around ten, I heard a tap on my window, and I found Jake's grinning face, looking back at me, I let him in, and he quietly landed on the floor. "What's up Bells?"he asked, with his Jakish grin. "Nothing really Jake."I said, shutting the window. Jake seated himself on my bed, while I sat next to him."No patrol tonight?"I asked, lying on the blanket. I had worn my light pink pajamas, which had thin straps, instead of sleeves, with a white overcoat. "No, Sam was trying out another new schedule for patrolling I'm free tonight."he replied, leaning against the headboard. Tonight, it wasn't too cold or too hot either. It hadn't rained in a week, but it was very cloudy. Jake hadn't worn a T shirt, but that surprisingly didn't distract me tonight. "So how's Billy?"I asked, playing with my fingernails. "Great. But he's miserable without you though."he stated, chuckling. "He misses your delicious cooking. He's complaining like an old woman, because there's no five star meals served these days.". I laughed at that. "Good old Billy."I said, snickering.

"Yup. He used to boast about having five star meals every day, now, he as grumpy as a puss."said Jake, his eyes twinkling. I smothered the blanket, and I moved closer to him. We continued our conversation, and I noticed Jake staring down at my shirt. My overcoat didn't completely cover my straps, and I feel the tension in the air. Jake gently bent his head and kissed me on the lips, while my heart jumped out of my chest. The kiss started out soft as usual, but, things soon got heated. I kissed back with full passion, and Jacob took off my overcoat, and his hands roamed around my exposed skin, while my hands wandered around his hair.

"Bella,"he whispered, placing his lips on my neck, and my hands lowered down. He began exploring my neck, and exposed chest. My hands roamed around his back. I couldn't describe this untamed passion inside me, as my hands seemed to have a mind of their own. Jacob gently rolled on top of me, making sure that I didn't have to feel his weight, and continued his exploration. I moaned at the pleasure that intoxicated through my body. Finally, his lips reached down to my chest, and my hands reached his lower back. Jacob looked up at me, and we shared another passionate kiss; his tongue entering my mouth. We explored each other's mouth, and when we broke free, as usual, I was gasping for air. But the passion hadn't died yet. I gazed at Jacob's chest, which was like a work of art, made by a sculptor. Now, his body was really distracting.

We continued kissing, and his hands slid under my shirt, and I obstinately kept pulling his hair. I loved Jacob's warm hands on my skin. I kept touching his neck. I was addicted to him, like he was a drug. A drug I was sure that I wasn't going to survive without. When I woke up the next morning, I felt ecstatic. I couldn't understand why, but when I smelt Jacob's musky scent all over my bed sheets, I smiled. He had probably left since he had to cook for Billy. I went into the bathroom, to find myself grinning at the mirror. After I took a shower, I recalled glimpses of Jacob's body, and my breath was stuck in my throat. If I kept this up, I may combust. I hoped that he would stay over tonight as well. I checked my emails, trying to get Jake out of my mind. I had received an email from Renee, to which I replied eagerly.

I spent the entire day, cleaning, folding the laundry and cooking. Charlie was tired out today, and was resting for the whole day. He enjoyed the meal I made him, and though he didn't say much, I could tell that he wanted to be left alone. I stayed up all day doing homework, and finally, I decided to get some sleep. As I opened my cupboard to find my pajamas, I remembered that the only reason why I wore the pink pajamas was because I had done the laundry the other day. I placed the grey pajama I had chosen, and picked up a silk blue sleeveless pajama. I lay on the bed, waiting. As expected, Jacob arrived, and I left the window open. "I knew that you would come."I said, grinning at him. "Aw shucks and I wanted to surprise you."he grumbled. I giggled, and he slid next to me.

"What did you do today?"I asked, turning to him. "I patrolled in the afternoon. Then Paul took over."he stated, turning to me. "Billy was grumbling about how bad my pancakes were. I have you to blame. He never complained about it earlier.". I snickered. "Really Bella, you've spoilt the old man. He treats me like a slave. 'Jacob, make it crispier. No Jacob, I said make the pancakes more fluffier. How on earth do you expect me to do that?"he demanded. I laughed. "This is your fault."he grumbled, folding his hands on his chest. Right now, he looked like a stubborn child. This was the second time I saw him behaving like a child. That expression had some effect on me. I pressed my lips on his cheek, and whispered , "I'm sorry.". He was stunned at my response, but he gained his composure and gave me a devilish grin. "If you keep doing that, I'll ask Billy to complain more. It's definitely worth it."he said, smirking. I playfully smacked his naked chest, and suddenly, he grabbed my hand. He glanced at our intertwined hands, and didn't let go. I gazed the skin contrast.

"Bella,"he whispered, pulling me closer. Our eyes locked, and before I could react, his lips were against mine. This was a desperate kiss of passion. I could go on kissing him forever and it wouldn't bother me. I didn't want this moment to impede. His hands wrapped around my waist, and my hands meander in his hair, and slowly around his chest now. That seemed to have an effect on him. He lowered me on the bed, and instantly his hand went under my shirt. I wrapped my right leg around his left leg, and our tongues danced with each other. I dragged him closer, and frantically kissed back. His hands inched up my waist, and I came undone. My hand reached his lower back, and my tongue was dancing with his. I wasn't going to last any longer. As the clouds hovered in the sky, I clung onto to this wonderful man.


End file.
